The Adventures of Grave 4, page 5
All I could do was stare in wonder at how a bunch of chicken scratch drawn inside a circle and sprinkled with a little magic could make a kitchen tornado. Awesome.
“That’s just a basic spell, but most runeworks are much more complex. They are designed for elaborate creations. You don’t do a runework to create a fireball. You do one to create a self-sustaining sun that gives life-giving rays to crops so they’ll grow in an underground chamber deep beneath the earth.”
“Like a giant weed farm,” I guessed.
“Like a hydroponic paradise that helped an entire community thrive during the Bad Times,” she replied seriously. “There may or may not have been weed there,” her seriousness cracked with a small smile.
I smiled right back at her. “Okay,” I looked down at the daunting task ahead of me and took a healthy swig of java to fire up the old brain cells. “I can do this,” but even I heard the doubt in my voice. “It’s just letters. Lots and lots of letters. It’s like freshman Spanish class all over again. Although, I dropped out once I learned words like puta and mierda. Fuck you kind of translates universally if you know what I mean.”
My rambling cut off as she placed her hand on top of mine. “You can do this. You will do this. I will be there to guide you. I don’t want to toot my own horn, but I’m pretty good at this. Don’t worry, I’ll get you where you need to go” she gave me a comforting smile.
“I know,” I gazed back into her expressive eyes. “Those teleportation rings were badass. They were worth every penny.”
“They were good, but the real treasure is that it brought me to you,” she looked into my eyes as she leaned forward.
I graciously accepted the kiss and wrapped my arms around her. She practically toppled off her chair as she fell into my arms to the point I had to scoop her up and position her on my lap. That had predictable effects.
“Mmm,” she groaned into my mouth. “You will be unlike anything this world has ever seen.”
It was a healthy ego boost, but I was more interested in her at the moment. “You know what I would like to see?” my hand moved south from her waist to cup her ass.
“I heard you were up all night filming,” she gasped as I got a decent hold of her and she felt me rapidly stiffening against her leg.
“Like you said. The world has never seen anything like me,” I threw her words right back at her.
She grinned, proceeded to wrap her legs around me in an acrobatic feat that was the next best thing to magic, and . . .
“Yume, can you help me!” Ramona called out as she walked into the hall with a towel wrapped around her chest and another on top of her head. “I want to shock my mom, but I also don’t want to have her thinking slut all morning. Do you think this is . . .?” she stopped abruptly as she saw us.
“Well,” she grinned and cocked her hip, crossed her arms across her chest, and leaned against the hallway wall. “Fuck me in the ass and call me Shirley.”
“That doesn’t make any sense,” Yume groaned as she detached her face from mine, but kept her hands draped around my neck as she straddled me.
“Eh,” the big blonde shrugged. “Do you want me to come back, tag in, or . . .?”
“No,” Yume killed any chance of us rounding the bases.
“You sure?” Ramona looked like she didn’t believe the spell-slinger. “I’ve got references. Gabs can tell you all about our night in the hotel suite. I don’t mean to brag, but I’m a generous lover. Very generous,” she licked her lips.
That had both Yume and me gulping. “I’m sure,” the spell-slinger put her foot down. “I need to figure out some way to motivate him. He’s clearly going to be a hard . . . I mean difficult . . . student,” she blushed as she slowly unwrapped herself from around me.
I was plenty motivated. There was no need to motivate me any more than I already was. My pants couldn’t take any more motivation.
“You. Study,” she stabbed the runic alphabet. “If you get an A on your first quiz . . .”
“She’ll let you put it in her A!” Ramona cheered and got a glare from the spell-slinger. “What?” she grinned innocently.
“I was never the best student,” I tried to manage expectations. “What if I get a B?” I shrugged and gave her my most charming smile as I fished for the consolation prize.
“Fine,” she relented and rolled her eyes, but she couldn’t hide the raw need in them.
“I knew it!” Ramona clapped hard enough that it rattled some fixtures. “An A or B and it goes in you’re A or B. A C lets you tickle her C, and D, well . . . a D sucks if you get my drift,” she was having way too much fun with this, while Yume’s face looked like it was ready to spontaneously combust.
“I’ve been trying to tell everyone that if you get his D in your mouth, you’re in the club. Grave’s bitches, baby. You go girl!” she high-fived the blushing spell-slinger and then vigorously humped the air when she wasn’t looking.
I couldn’t help but laugh. Despite all the craziness, I wouldn’t trade anything in the world to avoid dealing with those two. Speaking of avoid, there was no use trying to procrastinate. I had a couple of free hours on my hands and God only knew when I’d have more. My schedule was becoming tighter and tighter with everything that was going on. Plus, it was better than rifling through Ramona’s closet to pick out the perfect sexy but not too sexy outfit.
“Wait. No it’s not,” a half-naked bombshell strutting her stuff was way better than stupid homework.
“If you want, I can . . .” I called after them only for the door to shut with a resounding thud. “Or not,” I grumbled.
I looked down at my coffee and then at the paper. For a fleeting moment, I considered accidentally dumping the mug on it but decided against it. That wasn’t going to get me her A, or my D a BJ.
“It’s only a couple hours,” I reminded myself as I got to work.
Then, I had breakfast with Ramona’s mother before I got to see the Arch up close and personal. I was still waiting for an update from Cynthia about the first round of washing the money, and then I had the meeting with Pop from the 112ers to look forward to in the evening. If I found a little extra time in there, I wanted to try and figure out Jeanette’s surprise. Something told me the ghost-girl had something special in mind.
I had a jam-packed day ahead of me and if I wanted to make the grade, it was time to put my nose to the grindstone.
Chapter 4
“What’s this?” Felicia scribbled something on a spare sheet of paper and held it up for me to see.
“G . . . no . . . W,” I corrected.
“No,” her eyes narrowed. “That’s an A.”
“Ugh,” I groaned as I grabbed another buttered croissant.
The cat-girl magically showed up with more baked goodness about an hour into my studying. Thank God. I already wanted to blow my brains out. All of the motivation Yume instilled in me was long gone after sixty minutes of perusing the runic alphabet. Now, fresh flakes of carbohydrate deliciousness was what I was looking forward to.
“Flashcards always helped me in school,” Connie added as she leaned against the island with her own giant cup of coffee.
“You were a C student at best,” the cat-girl shot back as she started to scribble out a new letter, which by the way, didn’t look anything like the English alphabet.
“At least I was at school. You got suspended for fighting so much that you were hardly there,” Connie didn’t take it lying down.
“If only I had these babies back then,” she flashed some claw. “I would have owned that school.”
“When did you two become therians?” I asked. I hadn’t heard their origin stories.
“Senior year of high school,” Connie sipped deeply and sighed.
“The moment I turned eighteen I found a therian and told them I wanted in,” Felicia held up another letter.
“H,” I answered correctly.
Most of the therian stories I’d heard so far were people forced into it by circumstances. That didn’t seem to be Felicia’s experience. “Why? If you don’t mind me asking,” I asked anyway.
“I wanted to broaden my . . .”
“She wanted dick,” Connie deadpanned. “What?” she spread her hands when Felicia glared at her. “It’s true. You overheard Scott McQuaid talking about how he liked some obscure ancient anime from before the Bad Times with fox-girls or something in it. You’d been crushing hard on him since seventh grade, but he never gave you the time of day. So, you thought if you became a fox-girl he’d be into you. The rest is history,” she waved at the greater-therian.
“Did he like it?” I wondered.
Sure, I seemed to have a thing for the animal-girls, but that didn’t mean everyone did.
An uncomfortable silence was the only answer I got, so I didn’t push. “How about you?” I turned to Connie instead.
Despite the smile she tried to put on her face, her ears drooped and betrayed her real feelings. “I didn’t want Felicia to be alone after it happened so I . . .”
“Don’t bullshit him,” it was the cat-girl’s turn to weigh in. “She got snatched and turned.”
I forgot about the runic alphabet as I turned and gave her my full attention. “Is that true?”
“Um . . . yeah, but it wasn’t so bad. I swear. It might not have been my choice, but I kind of like my ears,” she reached up to give them a nervous scratch. “Plus, I wouldn’t be the assistant to some of the best people in the city if it didn’t happen,” she blushed as she looked on the bright side.
I did the only thing I could think of. I got up and gave her a hug. “You’re stronger than people think you are,” I whispered to her.
She snuggled in against my chest and squeaked, “Thanks.”
“I don’t know if you heard yet, but we aren’t doing that anymore,” I wanted to make sure the word got out about that change. “Only people who want this life can have it. No more abductions. No more forcing people to bring out their inner animal or whatever crap Pack tried to sell everyone.” Knowing that he’d done it to sweet Connie made me want to kill his leathery ass all over again. “Also, judging by what’s happened over the last few days, I might even be able to reverse the effects and change people back to human.”
I didn’t think that was a huge revelation, but it hit the two therians like a bombshell. “Seriously?” jaws were on the floor.
“I think so. You say the word and I’ll make you human again. Gabi is even doing tests on my venom right now,” I nodded.
“That’s definitely something to think about,” Connie hid behind her mug.
“Could we still be your assistants and work for you?” Felicia asked.
“We’re Ramona’s assistants,” Connie reminded her.
“Damn right you are,” the boss strutted down the hallway toward us. “And I’m happy to keep you on, extra appendages or not.”
As she entered the kitchen, it was my turn for my jaw to drop. Her shoulders were bare, and the tight, strapless top wrapped around her chest really made things pop on her . . . and on me. The pants weren’t quite as tight, but they still showed off her strong legs. Paired with some heels and she actually had a couple of inches on me.
“Bingo. That’s the effect I was going for,” she grinned as she spun, and I got to see how the outfit hugged her backside. It was confirmation there was a God, and he still loved me.
“I helped,” a tired Yume followed her out. Who knew coordinating an outfit could zap a person’s strength like that.
“I . . .,” my eyes darted between all the women. “What were we talking about?” I looked apologetically at the two therians, who exchanged a grin at my expense.
“Nothing,” Connie looked at Ramona. “What do you need us to do today?”
“You know where I’m going to be wasting my morning,” the big blonde grimaced. “Get with Jess and see if you can help with anything that is scheduled for the afternoon,” she delegated, and the two therians nodded. “Oh, and make sure my outfit is clean for tonight.” It was a reminder that both sides spilled a fair amount of blood last evening.
“You,” her eyes turned to me now that her minions were handled. “Is that what you’re wearing to meet my parents?”
“I already met your parents,” I looked down at my outfit. It was . . . comfortable.
“You saw my parents briefly at a giant gala with a hundred other money bags. This is a one-on-one. Come on, Marcus. Put your game face on,” she chided.
“Fine,” I finished my coffee and headed back toward the bedroom. “I’m having flashcards made,” I stated to Yume as I passed, hoping to earn some brownie points.
I wasn’t sure I got any as I headed into the room and ignored the small mountain of clothes on the bed, especially the only men’s outfit laid out next to it.
“Oh, hell no,” was my one and only thought at the sight of it.
Instead, I quickly grabbed a pair of khakis and a dress shirt. I didn’t opt for a tie. I didn’t want to look like I was trying too hard. A touch formal but mostly casual, it was a perfect brunch outfit. I also made sure the outfit was as far from my Grave colors as possible. Tan and a sky blue that really made my eyes pop was not black as night and a sinister red.
“You didn’t like my choice,” Ramona pouted as I emerged.
“No,” I deadpanned. I wanted my balls to breathe. They should only be squeezed in the bedroom.
“Fine,” she relented. “It’s good enough,” she looked me over, still clearly disappointed the pants weren’t tighter, and nodded to the door. “Stheno is waiting downstairs. Everyone,” she turned to the room. “Don’t get into trouble. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”
“Those are diametrically opposed statements!” Yume yelled after us as we left.
“She’s right,” I pointed out as we took the elevator down to the ground floor.
“I know,” she grinned as she turned to me and claimed her own good morning kiss. “But I like to keep my employees on their toes.”
We stopped discussing business as the door opened and Stheno was waiting for us in the same outfit as the day before. It was defacto bodyguard chic.
“Ramona,” she nodded to the big blonde.
“Jennifer,” she replied.
“Your name is Jennifer?” I looked at the retired fed.
She so didn’t look like a Jennifer. Jennifer was a ditzy blonde who wore short skirts and liked to chew bubble gum to distract herself from her other oral fixation. That imagery may or may not have come from personal experience. The Jennifer I knew wasn’t a Neohuman who could freeze over ninety-nine-point-nine percent of the population with a single glance.
“I prefer Stheno when on duty,” she shot Ramona a look. “I’m going to have my work cut out for me if we get attacked. How are you going to do anything to help when you fall out of that top the first time you have to throw a punch?”
“That’s why I pay you the big bucks, coach. So I get to keep my tits in my clothes for once,” she shot me a grin as she pulled her top up just to make sure it was in place before patting the other woman on the shoulder. I could feel an eye roll behind those glasses, but it didn’t feel annoyed. It felt like banter between old friends.
“Then remember your training,” she held out an arm to stop Ramona from marching right out onto the curb where a black SUV was idling. “I always go first.”
Ramona gave an exaggerated sigh but waved the bodyguard forward to do her job.
“What?” Ramona asked as she saw the look I gave her. “Remember, I have a role to play today. I’m a spoiled heiress. No one, including Stheno, can know that I’ve matured into a proper supervillain,” she shut up as the former fed waved us forward.
I grabbed the arm she extended to me as we crossed quickly to the SUV. It felt weird. That was supposed to be the guy’s job, but I brushed it off like I did with most things involving the societal changes in gender roles.
“Anything I should know about your mother?” I asked as we started moving into the morning traffic.
“Despite her being a bitch,” Ramona growled. Stheno coughed loudly and got a glare in return. “You have to be nice to her because she paid you a buttload to train me. I can say whatever I want. Freedom of speech. We still have that right, Miss Retired Cop.”
“I was a soldier in the response teams, not a cop. And yes, we still have freedom of speech. But she’s your mother. Show a little respect. If you ever pop out some kiddos, you might want them not to treat you like shit.”
The K word shut Ramona up. She froze and shot me a sideways glance like she thought I was going to bolt. I wasn’t, but it also wasn’t something we’d talked about.
“You have kids?” I asked Stheno to fill the void.
“No,” she shook her head. “I never had the time. You have to go where the response teams want you.”
“Are things better in the private sector?” I kept up the line of questioning.
“Yes and no. The pay is better and I have more free time, but some of the clients make it more difficult than the average criminal on the street,” I could tell she was glancing in the rearview mirror at Ramona.
“Ha ha ha,” Ramona got the same vibe. “And just so you know, he’s not volunteering his services for your mid-life, baby-fever crisis,” Ramona cut in.
“Oh. Shame,” Stheno chuckled as Ramona pulled me closer. The older woman clearly had Ramona’s number. It was kind of nice to have my exuberant woman on her heels for once.
