Nyx (Mate's Mark Book 3), page 17
His spine curves, and I try not to dwell on the prominent knobs that show through his shirt. Gaining weight is slow business, and can’t be rushed. Instead, I focus on the strands of his hair between my fingers, and the steady lift of his back as he breathes. The closeness is heady, as are the soft noises he makes.
“Tell me something,” he says as I work on an area at the base of his neck that’s particularly knotted.
“What do you want to know?”
“Anything… I just like hearing you talk.” My skin flushes, and if he turned around, he’d see the massive grin on my face. “Had you always lived at the camp? The one with the greenhouse?”
“For a long time, yes, but not forever,” I say as I brush. “I grew up in a place far away from here. It was a small village, not much bigger than this one, close to a military base called Houston. There was a lot of unrest among the people. Half of them wanted to move to the city and work for the mon—for your kind.”
“You can call them monsters. Many of them are.”
He’d know better than most, wouldn’t he? I clear my throat and continue brushing. “My parents were part of the group that was pushing to move, but others in the camp didn’t agree with their choice. I was young, still in my teenage years, so I was too self-absorbed to understand any of it. My parents tried to keep me out of the drama, but with so few people, I saw what was happening.”
“Another woman, Savannah, considered herself the leader of our village, and was very outspoken about how much she hated the cities and the people inside. She wanted to stay in the wilderness like we always had. One day, my mom and dad left with a few others to go on a supply run. Savannah believed they were going to turn in our location as a way to gain favor.”
“Were they?” he asks.
“If they were, I hadn’t heard about it, but they could’ve kept it from me.” A rueful snort of laughter leaves my nose. “It would make sense if they were. Saving your own skin might run in the family. At the time, there was no way to know, though, and Savannah didn’t want to risk it. With my parents and their friends gone, there were fewer than twenty people there who could fight.”
“They left?” I nod, even if he can’t see me.
“She gave me a choice—wait for them at the village, or follow the others. I chose to stay behind.” It’s just another piece of my life that I spent alone, though I don’t give a voice to the thought. I run my fingers through his hair, and he shivers as he sits taller, giving me access to the top of his head.
“Did they return?” Nyx asks.
“Yes… but it wasn’t a happy ending. They were ambushed by a band of raiders with greater numbers and more weapons. My parents’ group was easily overpowered, and they led their captors back to the village. They believed the others were there to help fight, but they were already gone. It was only me.”
Nyx glances over his shoulder at me, and his eyes are sad as I give him a soft smile. “I never found out what happened to them,” I say, as I guide his head to face forward again. “The raiders took me, chained me up with a few other prisoners my age, and we started walking east. For weeks, we walked, only stopping at night to get a few hours’ sleep. A few of the raiders had horses, but the rest of us were on foot.”
“Where did they take you?”
A lump forms in my throat as I distract myself with the brush for a few moments. “A pleasure house in the biggest human village I’ve ever seen.”
“Pleasure house?”
“It’s… gods, there’s no polite way to explain it. We were expected to… satisfy their guests.”
“Satisfy how?”
“With our bodies,” I say quietly, and he whips around to glare at me with a new expression. Anger nearly shines through his eyes as his teeth clench, bunching the muscles in his jaw.
“Your people aren’t the only monsters, sirrha. Let me finish your hair.” Unable to help myself, I drag my knuckles across his cheek. It softens the rage that’s so foreign on his face, and reluctantly, he turns forward once more. “We got there, and we weren’t in any condition to work. Sunburnt and skinny, and too exhausted to be worth much. For those few weeks, it wasn’t so bad. When there was a roof over my head and food in my belly, I could pretend it wasn’t happening. But the sunburn faded, and the weight came back, and I was expected to… work. Earn my keep.”
“My first client took me by surprise. He wasn’t even human. It turned out that the village was so successful because it was on the military trading route. The human leaders were catering to them, serving their every whim… including the ones behind those walls. They had assigned me a small room with an enormous bed and little else, because what more would I need? A soldier came in—dark blue skin and not much taller than me. He didn’t even wait for the door to shut before he slung his scabbard aside and unbuckled his armor. He already had his cock in his hand as he kicked the door closed.”
“Katsurrel,” Nyx whines, but I soothe him with a drag of my fingertips along his scalp.
“He didn’t, sweetheart. I didn’t let him. They were so arrogant, so certain I’d lie there obediently and take it.” An angry laugh leaves my throat. “Pretty sure I’ve never been obedient a day in my life.”
“What did you do?”
“Grabbed his sword and drove it through his stomach.” I draw a deep breath, returning to brushing as I smooth the top of his hair. Nearly done. “Then sliced it through his neck before he could make too much noise. There was a struggle, but no one bothered checking on those,” I say, the words laced with a venom born of years of resentment. “Some of them preferred a fight.”
“How did you escape?”
“It was night, so I put on his armor and used the darkness to my advantage. My quarters were on the second floor… not tall enough to keep me from jumping. I stuck to the shadows and found a gate with only one guard. Killed him too, then ran. I left the others at the pleasure house behind and disappeared into the wilderness.”
The air is heavy with the weight of what I just shared with him, and I suddenly need to fill the silence. “Do you still have the flower?” I ask, voice thick.
He nods and holds it up with the stem pinched between his fingers. “You could not have saved them,” he whispers, like he hears my regret after all these years.
“I told myself the same thing for a long time… and then again when my camp was slaughtered and I stood aside. I was only one person, and one person isn’t enough to make a difference. Then I saw what Elas and August did, and I knew I was wrong. I could’ve done something, but I chose to be a coward instead.”
Nyx turns to face me and climbs to his knees until we’re eye to eye. “You are not a coward. You are strong, and brave.”
“I want to be,” I whisper as his eyes dance around my face, and I tuck the flower behind his ear. “For you.”
“It was brave to stand up to the soldier. Brave to kill him.”
“I didn’t go back for them. Didn’t even consider it.”
“You were a child,” he stresses, and when his hand lands on my thigh, it sends a shockwave through my entire body.
“Not at the camp. Not when I watched that group come in to attack.”
“How many soldiers?” he demands.
“Lots… dozens. I couldn’t keep track.”
“And you think you could fight them? An army?”
“Maybe not, but I could’ve tried.”
Nyx shakes his head. His hair is velvety soft with the tangles cleared, and a little fluffy from the brushing. “Then you would be gone. And I would still be all alone.”
He closes the rest of the distance between us, resting his cheek on my shoulder like he did yesterday. My arms wrap around and hold him against me, relishing his honeysuckle scent. “I forgot to warn you I was going to touch you,” I murmur, my lips brushing against his temple.
I do it again, pressing the softest of kisses to his skin.
Something beyond lust, far more potent than longing, pools heavy in my center as he tilts his head to peek up at me through his lashes. “I did not need a warning,” he whispers, and his eyes drop to my mouth.
Gods, I shouldn’t want him like this. Not yet.
He stares at me like I’m the thing he orbits—the sun he circles, and the source of his light. It’s everything I’ve ever wanted. Eyes never leaving mine, he lifts his head and inches forward, and my fingers clutch at the fabric of his shirt. My nose brushes his, and he’s so very close, but a knock thunders at the door and sends him scrambling backward.
“Reyes! Are you in there?!” Lillith’s voice is booming, and Nyx’s eyes go wide.
“Fuck, I’m sorry,” I groan, resting my elbows on my knees and dropping my face into my palms. “You didn’t… I shouldn’t have…”
Nyx’s bare feet come into view as he stands in front of me, the fabric still pooling at his ankles. Tentative fingers feather over my curls, and I sigh as I peek up at him. “You will not break me, Reyes.”
“I know,” I whisper as another knock thuds on the door, and I stand, taking a moment to stare at Nyx’s face tilted towards mine.
But you might just break me.
Reyes
A quiet knock breaks the silence in the house as I’m drying off from my shower. “Just a sec!” I shout as I toss on a shirt and pair of shorts, expecting to find Lillith outside. We’re supposed to start building the greenhouse today, but I didn’t tell her what time. Leave it to her to be enthusiastic enough to come get me before I’ve even had breakfast. As I swing the door open, I’m already craning my neck to look at her.
I blink at nothing, then drop my eyes to find Nyx standing there, shifting between his feet. “Hi,” he whispers, his toes curling against the ground.
“Well, good morning, beautiful.” He makes another of those little squeaks, and my grin spreads. “I was just getting ready to come see you.”
“You have breakfast?” He glances around my back towards the kitchen, and I wonder if he’s noticed what’s on the counter yet.
“Come on inside. Did I take too long this morning?”
“No,” he says as his eyes dart around, and I give him a minute to indulge his curiosity. He’s never been inside my house before, and there’s enough in here to keep him exploring for hours.
Snooping, some might call it, but I don’t mind.
After I pour us each a glass of water, he wanders over to join me at the table, but when he looks at the plate, his brows meet. His bewildered expression as he stares at the pink slices makes me laugh. “What is this?” he finally asks, picking one up and twisting it in front of his face.
“It’s called a watermelon. I found a vine behind the corn with a few ripe fruits. The people that lived in this village before us must’ve been growing it, because I didn’t plant it.”
He returns the slice to the plate, and his eyes go wide as he licks his fingertips. “It is sweet.”
“It is very sweet. See these black things? Those are the seeds, so don’t swallow them. Save them, and we will grow more of these in the future.” I take a bite, trying to stifle my laughter as he intently watches me eat. He studies me, like he wants to make sure he does it right. Holding a slice daintily by the rind, he picks out all the seeds he can find, then takes an absolutely enormous bite. He closes his eyes and groans, and I lose it.
I laugh so hard, I’m convinced watermelon is going to come out of my nose, but he’s too focused on chewing to pay me any attention. A tiny stream of juice drips down his face, and after he wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, he licks that, too.
“Do you like it?” I finally collect myself enough to ask, and he nods without opening his eyes.
“You are teasing me, but this watermelon makes it okay.” Aside from my rogue laughter, we don’t talk much as we eat. Nyx has always been happy to sit in the silence, so I never force conversation. I cut him a chunk of bread to give him something more substantial, and he accepts it with a sweet smile. Once we’ve polished off our food, he sits back and rubs his stomach.
“Are you full?”
He nods with a thoughtful expression on his face. “We should have watermelon more often.”
I grin as I grab the plates to wash. “There are only a few of them right now, but I saved another one just for us. Don’t tell anyone, because if Elas finds out…” I trail off as arms wrap around my waist and squeeze. Nyx hugs me from behind, and the open show of affection is almost too much to handle. I cover his arms with mine as he leans his forehead against my shoulder.
“This is okay?” he asks.
“Yes, this is more than okay. What did I do to deserve a hug?”
“You were thinking of me.”
“I always think of you,” I respond, and he squeezes me again before he releases me.
I turn around, and he stares up at me with one of his tiny smiles. As I tuck his hair behind his ear, he says, “You have not given me my flower yet.”
A surprised laugh sneaks out of me. “Someone’s demanding this morning. You showed up before I was prepared! But if you want your flower, I’ll get you your flower.” I wait for him to argue, but he only raises his brows and glances towards the door, like he’s waiting on me to get moving. I laugh to myself as I step outside and find a cluster of daisies, and when I come back in, he’s peeking inside a box. The door shuts, and he jumps as if I caught him doing something wrong.
I frown as he pushes the box away. “You can look at anything you want. What’s mine is yours.”
“After the flower,” he says, and I huff a laugh. When I tuck the stem behind his ear, I press a barely there kiss to his cheek beside it.
He flushes, and his eyes drop to the floor, but I can tell he’s holding something back. It’s only been three days since that first morning, but it’s become our routine now—I show up with breakfast, brush his hair, and give him his flower. If he broke that routine, it’s for a reason, but I’ve learned that sometimes he needs a little nudge.
Spending time with him has been a dream come true. Every day he lets me see more of himself, and with every defensive layer that’s peeled back, I fall harder. Mostly, we’ve worked in the garden and taken walks through the woods. He came to my training session with Ronan yesterday, even though he sat at a distance. It was nerve-wracking, knowing he was watching, but Ronan went easy on me. He did, however, mention several times that I’ve stabbed him and punched him, and I’m still waiting for the retaliation.
Nyx continues to shuffle between his feet, and I put him out of his misery. “Was there something you wanted to do today?”
“You have the rocks?” he asks, and I bite back a grin again.
“So it was you that left those?”
“You are teasing still. You already know it was me.” He levels a stern look at me, and I can’t contain my smile any longer.
“Yeah, I do. They’re in here.” I lead him into the bedroom and show him where they’re lined up in a row on my windowsill.
“You keep them like I keep my flowers.”
I glance at him, and my gaze snags on the daisy behind his ear before moving back to his eyes. “You’ve kept them?”
He nods, gesturing towards his house. “I hang them so they dry. That way I always have them to think of you.” He doesn’t seem to realize how much that statement means to me, because while I’m over here half swooning, he simply walks over and picks up a rock. He spins it, inspecting it from every angle as it shines in the sun. “Today, we will find more rocks so you can think of me, too.”
“That sounds amazing.” I fight to keep my emotions at bay, and the smile he flashes at me is the widest one I’ve ever seen.
He returns the rock to the windowsill and takes my hand. “Come,” he says, and he leads me out the door. I’m so amused by his insistence that I don’t even think about putting my shoes on as we leave. He likes it that way—when I’m barefoot like him—so I don’t go back for them. We approach the deeper pool where people will sometimes bathe, and I strain to listen for signs that anyone’s here.
You walk in on Elas scrubbing his ass one time, and you learn to pay attention.
No one is here, but Nyx guides me past it. “You find all the hidden places in these woods,” I tease, and he gives me a somber nod, like he takes his duty as the forest’s secret keeper very seriously. We walk along a small branch of the creek that diverts deeper into the trees. Years of erosion have smoothed the rocks underneath, and it’s only a shallow stream that flows over them. We step into the water, and I enjoy the trickle as it flows over our feet.
This spot is serene. Isolated, despite how close it is to the village. “I come here when my mind is loud,” he says, and I squeeze his hand. He bends over and picks up a rock, smoothing it between his thumb and forefinger. It’s the same self-soothing I’ve noticed he does with shirts and blankets, and I wonder where the habit started.
“Does it help you to be out here?”
He nods and releases my hand so he can stare at the glowing mark on his knuckles. “Before, everything was… what is this word? Chaos?”
“Yeah, chaos,” I agree softly.
He tosses the rock back into the water and searches for a different one. “It was chaos, and being here helped. Being with you helped, too. But now, it is quiet. Not silent, but quiet enough that I can forget they are there.”
“That’s really good, sweetheart,” I say, and he glances up at me with another half-smile.
“Is your mind quiet, too? Did the trip to your old home help?” Our conversation at the overlook flashes through my mind, and the guilt that comes afterwards makes my eyes drop to the ground. Water splashes, and Nyx appears in front of me. He grips my chin with wet fingers, and I begrudgingly lift my head. “What is your face?” he demands, and I laugh despite myself.
“It seemed so important at the time… like I had to prove to myself that I could be brave enough to leave. We needed the greenhouse, and I’m glad we have it now, but it wasn’t worth what I put you through. I never wanted to hurt you.”
