No Alpha, page 5
part #1 of The Alpha Brothers Series
“Why are you not eating? We won’t start until you do,” Alaric asks me.
“I can eat with you?” I nervously question.
“I told you you were free and equal in my pack last night before you gave me your body. You will eat with us every day like this. We have breakfast alone because we get up at different times to do our jobs. We always eat both lunch and dinner together if nothing else gets in the way. You won’t always have to cook as we can cook ourselves, and Mary likes to do her work. This is your life now. So, eat.”
I simply nod, completely lost for words before filling my plate and taking a bite of the pasta. It dawns on me that I have never eaten any of my food hot and freshly cooked before. I was always too scared to attempt to make myself a meal, and by the time I got the pack leftovers, it was always cold. The pasta tastes amazing, and a single tear runs down my cheek as we eat the food in a comfortable silence.
“How was your day?” I find myself asking them all.
“One of the dead horses has gone into labour. Though their labour can take several days, I was up early to check on her. I was hoping to collect you tomorrow morning to introduce you to the horses like we discussed,” Alaric tells me, and I smile, nodding.
“I’d love that,” I reply.
“My day was full of politics after my fun little chase. Nothing much else to speak of. I have to go back to it straight after here. I won’t invite you though, it is not something fun,” Letric explains.
“It doesn’t sound fun, but I would like to see how the pack is run one day. What about you, Alpha?” I ask.
“I killed three of your old pack that attempted to run away this morning,” he tells me, and I gulp down the pasta in my mouth.
“Why would they run?” I enquire.
“They didn’t like that they have to cook their own meals, wash their own clothes, and that you would not be their slave. They also disagreed highly on the fact we do not have betas here,” he explains to me, and I guess that it must have been one of the betas of my old pack and his mates. They were the ones I looked after the most, and they never did do anything for themselves. I used to look after their children too, and even though they were spoilt and a little rude, they are still children.
“Did they have a child?” I ask.
“Yes. I have given her to a childless couple on the island. They will look after her like their own,” Alpha tells me. “We do not waste life.”
“Thank you. The children didn’t ask for this war,” I gently reply.
“No, but that child would have been brought up to be the monster its parents were. We kill to make a change for the next generation,” Alpha replies before eating more of his food.
“And what change do you want?” I ask.
“You will see soon enough,” Alpha replies, and his tone tells me this conversation is over. We all finish eating before Alpha walks out, followed closely by Alaric, but Letric stays with me. After Letric helps me clean all of the table up, he leans against the counter, wiping his hands.
“Want to see my home?”
“Why not?” I reply. Maybe seeing his home will help me understand at least one of the Alpha Brothers a little bit more.
Chapter 11
Elodie
Letric opens the door to his tower, letting me walk into the cosy room. His room is much different from my alpha’s. It’s cosy, filled with different things in every little corner. The fire is lit, making the room warm as I look around at the three bookcases on the one wall, covered in not only books but little objects as well. There is a general dark green theme in the room, making me think it must be Letric’s favourite colour. Then there is a big dark green rug, a small table with a game I don’t recognise on it and two chairs either side of it. The sofa faces the fire, with two blankets messily hanging over it. The fireplace even has little ornaments sitting on it. There is just so much to look at as Letric closes the door.
“What game is this?” I ask Letric first, walking over to the little table and touching the tiny statues. There are twelve of them on either side; all of them are different sizes and different animals made out of dark wood.
“It’s a version of chess, but the idea is to keep the alpha male and female wolf alive at all times,” Letric explains to me. I’ve never seen a game like this, and from the feel of the statues under my fingers and how worn out they are, it’s an old, well-played game.
“Just like a pack… Will you play with me?” I ask him, and he doesn’t say yes but slides into one of the seats, and I sit in the other. Letric takes his time explaining the rules to me in a way that helps me understand the game quickly. I don’t know how much time passes as we play the game together, and he beats me once before we start again.
“You’re good at this, sure you haven’t played before?” Letric asks as I take out his fox statue and place the statue next to my side.
“No, but I think it is just luck,” I reply, and he chuckles.
“I doubt it. You need to be smart to win. I used to play this game with Alpha and Alaric when we were kids,” he tells me, and I find myself more and more interested in the backstory of these alphas. They don’t make sense, neither does their pack that turned up out of nowhere. I want to understand them and why they want this war so badly. Why they want to change everything in our world.
“Who is the oldest out of you three?” I ask. I’ve guessed that Alpha is the oldest, who I still want to know the real name of. His father couldn’t have just called him Alpha. At least, I don’t think that is his real name. It feels like a pretence that hides his real name.
“Alpha is the oldest, then Alaric and then me. There are exactly two years between each of us,” he tells me, and judging from how old Alpha looks, they must all be in their twenties. It’s crazy that they have a pack already.
“Was it nice to have siblings?” I ask, not having a clue what it’s like to have a brother or sister. I didn’t even have friends I could pretend were siblings.
“Yes, because when things were bad, you had someone who had your back. Even when we were arguing, we still looked after each other,” he tells me. I watch him for a moment, wondering what it would be like to have someone there for me no matter what. Someone to care for me. I’m not fooling myself that the Alpha Brothers could ever be that for me. I know I’m a temporary woman in their lives. I know that I want a certain man in my life in the future, someone I could trust to have my back. A mate I guess, even if I am never claimed by them.
There is a bang at the door, knocking us both out of the moment, and Letric gets up, pulling the door open. Waiting outside is a man with wavy, brown hair and muscular arms. His green eyes look at me before returning to Letric. The man bows his head before lifting it and beginning to speak.
“I am sorry to have interrupted you, Alpha Letric, but there has been important news brought back from the scouts,” he explains, seeming more than nervous as his eyes flicker between Letric and me.
“Thank you for coming to me. Call the pack leaders and my brothers to a meeting in the hall,” Letric says, waiting for the man to bow in agreement before shutting the door and looking back at me as he crosses his arms, clearly thinking on something.
“You have to go, I guess,” I say, almost sad that we didn’t get to finish our game.
“Do you want to come to a pack leaders’ meeting?” he asks. “I want to spend time with you, and you have a smart little mouth at times. Maybe you could offer advice.”
“I’d like that, but I would also like to come back here to complete our game another time,” I reply, knowing that it will annoy me if we don’t.
“Tomorrow, I will ask Alpha to let you stay at mine for the night. We can have hot chocolate and finish our game before a long night,” he says, and I smile, knowing full well that I am blushing.
“I hope Alpha says yes,” I admit, standing up, and he smirks.
“You best give him a good night tonight. Though, from his thoughts alone, I am guessing that won’t be hard for you to do,” Letric suggests and laughs. “All you have to do is talk to him.”
“So, as well as talking in each other’s minds, you can hear thoughts?” I question, a little surprised that they are all so close.
“Yeah, we made the bond the day our father kicked us out his pack,” Letric admits, rubbing the back of his neck as a guilty look crosses over his face. “I shouldn’t have told you that.”
“Your secret is safe with me. I mean, who would I tell?” I reply, shrugging my shoulders. I like that he told me something personal about them all, even if he regretted doing so afterwards.
“You’re going to be trouble, El,” Letric mutters, a little grin on his lips before he opens the door and holds it for me. I walk out, waiting for him as he closes the door and comes to my side. We walk down the courtyard for a moment before he links his fingers with mine, the little show of affection peculiar to me. I don’t question why it makes my heart beat that little bit harder in my chest, but it does.
Chapter 12
Elodie
The pack leaders’ meeting is in the clock tower I found earlier, to my surprise. I didn’t think there was even a room up here. Letric leads me up all the way to the top of dozens of stone steps. There is a large stone table, with a gap in the middle of it and dark wooden chairs surrounding the table. The stone table itself has carvings of flowers, swirls and, as I stare a little more, I see animals carved into it as well. It’s a circular stone room, with one large window that’s letting a lot of light into the room as well as displaying an amazing view of the town. The sun is slowly setting in the sky now, making it at least afternoon. Apparently, Mary is cooking the dinner for tonight after I cooked lunch, or at least that is what Letric told me she said earlier today as we walked here. We saw lots of people on the way, and it was odd how many of them respectfully bowed to Letric or stopped to chat with him. He introduced me to lots of new people, all of which didn’t seem the least bit bothered that I was a no claim. They were nice, and it is still strange to me.
“Why is your new whore here?” a man asks as soon as Letric and I begin to move about the room. The man has long, greasy black hair, and his left eye is missing, leaving only a large cut in its place. His voice is gritty and cruel as he glares my way. Letric lets go of my hand, walking straight up to the wiry man that spoke. I gasp as Letric picks him up like a toy and throws him out of the window. His screams fill our ears as the five other people in the room whisper, and Letric claps his hands together.
“It seems there is a new, suddenly open position in the pack leaders. I have decided the lovely Elodie will be taking up that position,” Letric states, crossing his arms as he watches the rest of the room to see if anyone disagrees. I run my eyes over the other leaders. Four men stand closer together. Two of them are blond, tall and imposing as they look at me. The other two have brown hair, brown eyes and kinder expressions as they look towards Letric. The last one in the room is a woman, who only seems serious as she looks at me.
“Yes, Alpha Letric,” the woman says as I rub my arms, feeling nervous as they all look at me. Did I just become a leader? Seriously? I don’t even hide the shock from my face as Letric smirks at me.
“I see our sweet El has been causing trouble already,” Alaric says, passing me and briefly stroking his fingers across my hand as he passes me. Alpha walks in after him, nodding once at me before going to sit at the table in between Alaric and where Letric has sat down. Everyone else sits, leaving a seat next to Alaric free, and I realise that is where I am meant to sit, I guess. I sit down, and the moment I do, Alpha starts speaking.
“Why have we been called here?” he asks, and the only other woman in the room puts her hand up. She has light blonde hair that is greying at the top and a serious expression as Alpha nods for her to speak.
“The scout who was watching the Ruxsan Pack came back this morning. He told us some bad news that we felt was urgent we discuss. It seems the Ruxsan Pack do not want to fight alone and have joined up with the Xan Pack. The alpha submitted to their alpha, and now they are one large pack. All of them are within the city walls,” she says, and Alpha slams his fists on the table, making it vibrate, and I nearly fall off my seat in shock.
“Fuck’s sake,” Alaric growls, whereas Letric rubs his chin, and Alpha is now completely silent. The two remaining packs, both of which are much larger than this pack, have joined together, and that will make it impossible for them to ride out and win the fight they planned in two weeks.
“We will deliberate this in a week. I need time to discuss this privately with my brothers and come up with a plan,” Alpha eventually coldly states and stands up. “The leaders are dismissed.” Everyone quickly gets up, including Letric and me, but Alaric holds my hand, stopping me from leaving with everyone else when I try to. Alaric doesn’t say a word until the room is empty and there is nothing but the sound of him pacing by the window, his shoes rustling against the dusty stone floor. His jacket flaps open from the wind that blows harshly this high up.
“Come here, El,” Alaric demands, pausing right by the massive open window that Letric threw that wolf out of. I slide out of my seat and walk over to his side, freezing at the sight of the drop below and the blood on the ground from the wolf that is no longer there. I’m pretty sure a fall from this height wouldn’t actually kill a wolf, but it would damn well hurt and take a hell of a lot of time to recover from.
“Does the view scare you?” Alaric asks, coming behind me and pushing my knees into the stone, so I am forced to half hang out of the window. My heart pounds in my chest, sweat builds on the back of my neck, and the fear of falling blurs out all my senses until I can only focus on the actual question he asked.
“I’m not scared of the view but the fear of falling instead,” I admit to him. I’ve never been that high up, not since I was about eight and a group of wolves chased me around the pack, throwing stones at me. I climbed up a tree to escape them, but I couldn’t get down. I was stuck up there for a day before I got brave enough to attempt to climb down. I got about half way down the tree before my leg scraped on a branch, and the shock made me lose my grip. I remember falling. I remember the intense pain that came with it and how it felt to crash onto the cold, hard ground. I broke my arm and leg that day, and I had to lie on the ground all night until someone found me and broke my arm and leg back into place before taking me back to my room. Lucy only came to check on me once—to make sure I hadn’t died. I healed a few days later, and I spent weeks teaching myself how to run faster so that wouldn’t happen again.
“You would heal,” he claims, pushing me further into the wall, and I grip his hands on my waist. The overwhelming fear of falling almost makes me not notice Alaric’s lips on my neck, kissing ever so tenderly. I don’t know why he is doing this, but his kisses, the way he grips my hips tightly so I am forced to feel his hard body pressed into my back and how hard he is beneath his trousers, it distracts me ever so slightly.
“Are you going to push me? Is that what you want to do?” I ask him, my voice shaky but needing to know why he is doing this. I’ve heard some people just like the thrill of situations like this. Ones that put them close to danger, but I am not one of those people. Alaric suddenly pulls away from me, and I turn to see him walking to the door, running his hands through his hair.
“I’m not a monster,” he whispers, not looking once at me, and there is so much unspoken pain in his tender words.
“I never said you were,” I reply, moving away from the window, wishing my heart would stop beating so fast. I don’t think it was just the fall that made me feel that way, I think it was him too.
“You didn’t have to say it, I can sense how frightened you are. I know you feared I would push you,” he replies, crossing his arms but again not looking back to me. Part of me wants to walk over to him, wrap my arms around his waist and tell him he isn’t the monster he so very clearly thinks he is. Another part of me just doesn’t understand or know Alaric enough to do something so foolish. I could push him too far in only a moment, and I don’t want him out of my life yet. I want more time with my alphas. An endless amount, if I am being honest with myself. The Alpha Brothers are dangerous, addictive, and I just want more.
“Do you want me to not be frightened of you?” I ask, curious.
“Yes,” he replies, and the word is so open, so inviting. I don’t get him, I really don’t, but I know what he wants in this moment. The only problem is, I’m too messed up and broken myself to be what he needs. I think we are the same on a very basic level. Two souls who are nothing but broken, looking to the other to fix them. Except that takes time, love and patience. Things I don’t think the Alpha Brothers could ever give me.
“I’ve never trusted anyone in my entire life. No one. Everyone has hurt me, used me and treated me like I am nothing. I don’t know how to trust anyone, and I fear you are still using me even now. You want my body; our alpha has promised you me. How can I trust you?” I find myself replying, though my words are so defenceless as they leave my lips that I don’t even know if I believe them myself. Alaric doesn’t reply to me, only nodding his head before he walks down the steps, leaving me alone with my thoughts and the warm wind from the window. I walk over to the window, waiting for Alaric to come out of the tower, and when he does, he looks up at me like he can sense me watching him. I see nothing but longing and pain in his expression before he shifts into a large white wolf and runs away.
Chapter 13
Elodie
“Hello, Alpha,” I say after shutting the door to his tower. I thought a lot about everything during my walk back to my alpha’s from the clock tower. My life has changed so much that it feels like I’m spinning around in a circle, and I don’t know who is going to catch me when I fall. I’ve figured out the best thing I can do is try to find something to ground myself and remember not to fall for my alphas. I know they won’t catch me, and the fall would hurt so very much. I have to protect my heart and everything I want to keep of myself while I am with them.
