High Stakes, page 15
“You missed her.”
I turn to see Sully standing on his porch.
“Van’s here,” I return.
“She left with Alex hours ago.”
“Where to?”
“They didn’t say, I didn’t ask.” He starts to move inside but leans back at the last minute. “Oh, I almost forgot—Jonas is looking for you. He needs you in the breeding barn.”
That’s where I spend the next few hours, keeping my head down and human interactions to a minimum. When a report comes in late afternoon of a colt breaking through the fence around one of the rear pastures, I volunteer to go chase him down. King needs some exercise anyway and I feel like I have some penance to do, I’ve been an ass.
The fresh air does me good. I have the colt rounded up and back on the right side of the fence in no time, and manage to patch the hole in the setting sun. The lights of the ranch are already on, providing a beacon in the dusk, and I realize how much of a home this place has become.
A home that now includes Nella as well.
I leave King in his stall with a pile of fresh hay and head for the cabins, determined to straighten a few things out with her. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out she’s not home—her van isn’t parked outside—but I knock on her door anyway. When there’s no answer, I show myself in to confirm what part of me already suspects.
There is no sign of her. No shoes by the door, book on the coffee table, or sweater tossed over the back of a kitchen chair. The fridge is empty, as is the bathroom, and the bed is stripped bare.
Fuck.
She’s gone.
Nineteen
Nella
* * *
“I’m just going to grab a wheelchair.”
The nurse darts out of the room while I read over the sheet of appointments she just handed me. Starting on Monday it looks like there’ll be a lot of driving back and forth. Good thing I moved my stuff to Hart’s Rescue this afternoon, which is closer to town.
I loved the rescue. The house is older and definitely smaller than the ranch, but that makes it more intimate. I instantly felt at home. Lucy had a lot to do with that too. She actually reminds me a little of Pippa, outspoken and unapologetic, although Lucy seems to have a little more of an edge. I could see the two of them getting along just fine.
That’s why it wasn’t hard to come to a decision when Lucy quoted a number for a weekly rent a lot more suitable to my budget than an extended stay at the motel would’ve been. I accepted on a handshake right away. Packing up my belongings didn’t take much, just some groceries and my travel bag. I did end up stopping in town at a thrift store to pick up a few items for Pippa, but we’re going to need to go into a larger town for a Walmart or something like that.
I knock on the door to the bathroom where Pippa disappeared with the thrift store clothes I picked up for her.
“Are you okay in there?”
“Yeah, I won’t be long.”
I thought it was a bit unusual for Pippa to be released this late in the day but we had to wait for the neurologist to look at the latest tests before signing off on her release. Besides, as Dr. Osborne told us, if at all possible they prefer to send people home before the weekend.
It’s funny, Pippa never asked where we were staying. She seems to trust I have it covered, which is the way things used to be between us. Not in recent years, but back before she met, married, and ultimately scraped off the waste of space whose name shall not be mentioned. Those are years I wouldn’t mind if she never remembered. I’m certainly not about to refresh her memory.
By the time the nurse comes back with the wheelchair, Pippa has surfaced from the bathroom. She’s looking a little white around the gills. I’m guessing she didn’t count on something simple, like getting dressed, taking so much out of her. She doesn’t object to the wheelchair and allows the nurse to wheel her from the room. I follow behind with her meager belongings in a plastic bag.
Down the hall I see them slip into the waiting elevator when I hear behind me, “I was hoping to catch you.”
I swing around to find Tracy, one of Pippa’s nurses, walking toward me.
“Nella?”
I turn back to see my sister blocking the elevator doors.
“Go on. I’ll grab the stairs.” I wave them off.
“Sorry about that,” Tracy says. “I just wanted to make sure your sister’s boyfriend managed to get a hold of you?” My surprise must’ve been visible on my face because Tracy immediately follows it up with, “He wanted to know how she was doing and I told him I couldn’t give out that information and suggested he get in touch with you. I’m guessing he didn’t call you?”
This is weird. Surely if Pippa had someone important in her life she would’ve told me. Also, if she has a boyfriend, why the hell isn’t he here?
“No. I wasn’t even aware she had a boyfriend,” I tell Tracy. “Did you give him my number?”
She shakes her head. “He said he had it.”
Getting stranger by the minute and it’s making me feel uneasy, I’d better catch up with Pippa.
“I appreciate the heads-up. I’m sure he’ll get in touch at some point, but if he should call again, could you let me know?”
“Sure, I’ll put a note up at the nurses’ station.”
“Thanks, Tracy.”
I find the stairwell and hustle downstairs where they’re waiting for me at the exit doors. It takes me two minutes to fetch the van.
It’s not until I pull out of the parking lot Pippa speaks up.
“What did Tracy want back there?”
“Someone claiming to be your boyfriend apparently called.”
I glance over at her to gauge her reaction. She looks confused.
“I don’t…” She shakes her head. “At least I don’t think…I have a boyfriend?”
“I don’t know. You never mentioned a man to me and I’d like to think you would have.”
“Yeah, for sure,” she mumbles, but she doesn’t sound convinced.
“Look…” I reach over to give her knee a squeeze. “We’re not going to worry about that now. I haven’t told you where we’re staying yet,” I offer as a distraction.
“Where?”
“A horse rescue. It’s run by two women. Alex, who lives with Jonas Harvey at High Meadow Ranch, and Lucy, who manages the place. She’s the one who actually lives at the rescue in a gorgeous old farmhouse. You’ll love it. The land is very pretty and the views are to die for. Oh, and they have two rescue dogs and a donkey as well.”
I know I’m rambling but I can’t seem to help myself. I’m suddenly wondering if I made the right choice and it feels important to have Pippa’s approval.
“Horses? I love horses.”
Thank God.
Her face lights up and the weight of responsibility seems to slide right off my shoulders. Looks like this will work out.
“That was amazing,” Pippa gushes as she pushes her empty plate away.
“Compared to the bland hospital fare you’ve been eating these past weeks, I’m sure an old shoe sole would’ve been an improvement,” Lucy points out, clearly uncomfortable with compliments.
“Actually, I’ve been eating pretty well, but I have to agree with my sister; that was delicious.”
Lucy waves a hand to brush me off as she collects our plates and carries them to the sink.
When we drove up to the farmhouse, she’d been waiting on the porch, two dogs—Chief and Scout—sitting beside her. I’d been a little apprehensive when I’d realized we’d be living with dogs, but Pippa had no such reservations. She was always the one who connected easily with people and animals alike, and already had two new four-legged friends before we even breached the front door.
Lucy insisted on cooking us a light meal for which she’d already made preparations. The smoked salmon fettuccini Alfredo she put together was a thing of beauty.
“Just so you know, my talents in the kitchen are more geared toward baking than cooking,” I admit. “But I get by and am happy to do my share.”
“I can cook,” Pippa offers before turning to me with a question on her face. “At least it feels like I can.”
“You’re a better cook than I am,” I confirm with a smile.
“Don’t get me wrong, I love putzing around the kitchen, feeding people,” Lucy volunteers. “It beats cooking for one all the time, but I have to admit it would be nice not to have to worry about dinner every once in a while.”
I get up to give her a hand washing the dishes, when the dogs suddenly rush to the front door and start barking. Lucy is already moving in that direction when there’s a loud rap on the door.
From my vantage point I can’t see who it is, but that mystery is quickly solved when I hear a familiar voice.
“I’m here for Nella.”
Fletch
* * *
I was fully prepared to drive to Canada if Sully hadn’t flagged me down.
He directed me to the rescue, where apparently Nella made arrangements to stay.
I’m relieved she didn’t head back home. Maybe there’s hope for me yet, although it’s probably narcissistic to think the reason she’s sticking close has anything to do with me. That doesn’t stop me from heading directly to the rescue though.
Lucy shakes her head when I tell her I’m here looking for Nella.
“You guys are so fucking predictable,” she mutters as she steps aside to let me in.
I have no idea what that means, but I’m pretty sure I don’t want to poke the bear by asking.
I never realized how much the sisters look alike until my eye first catches Pippa, who is sitting at the table. It only takes a sardonic lift of her eyebrow to have my focus shift to her sister, who is standing by the sink. She looks equal parts confused, hurt, and angry. I own that.
I wish we weren’t standing in the middle of Lucy’s living room with an audience listening, but if this is where we need to clear the air, so be it. I owe her that much.
“I’ve been an ass.”
Lucy snorts behind me.
“You have a dick, so of course you’ve been an ass. I think the two are genetically entwined.”
Pippa snickers at the comment, but Nella’s face is stoic. Except for her eyes, those show a storm of emotions.
“Can we talk?”
Nella’s body gives a little jerk at my question. Then she appears to straighten her shoulders and jut out her chin.
“I’m not sure there’s much to say.”
More snickers from the peanut gallery and I’m starting to feel grossly outnumbered.
“Maybe not, but I have to try.”
I hope like fuck she’ll give me this shot. Not that I plan to leave without saying what I need to say anyway, but I’d rather she listen voluntarily.
She makes me wait a few uncomfortable moments before nodding.
“Fine. We can talk outside.”
I watch her walk toward me, her back ramrod straight and her mouth tight. I let her pass before following her out onto the porch and pull the front door shut behind me. She stops and turns to face me, folding her arms over her chest. I’m far from an expert in body language, but her pose screams ‘keep your distance.’ I will…for now.
“Take a walk with me?”
Without giving her a chance to answer, I head down the steps, waiting to hear her footsteps coming down the stairs behind me. When she catches up with me, I turn right toward the barn.
“So talk.”
Easier said than done, I’m not quite sure where to start.
“I have scars.” I guess it’s as good a place as any.
Not something I usually talk about, although some women have asked over the years. Nella never asked though, and I’d started to think maybe she’d missed them the one night I spent at her place. It had been dark; we’d been a little preoccupied. It’s possible.
I glance over to find her looking at me with eyebrows raised.
“I had my hands on you, so yeah, I know you have scars.” She says it matter-of-factly, like she’s confirming I have dark hair.
“You never asked.”
That seems to surprise her even more.
“I figured they were part of you and that if it was important for me to know how you got them, you would tell me.”
That’s a really fucking good answer.
“I got them trying to rescue my fiancée from her Afghani captors. My unit was decimated.” Nella’s hand shoots out, stopping me in my tracks, the question all over her face. “She survived, only to kill herself after.”
I walk over to the fence where a small donkey looks to be dozing on his feet.
“Why?”
Her voice is soft as is the light touch on my back.
“That’s the million-dollar question. Wish I knew, maybe then it wouldn’t feel like I fucked up somehow.”
I tell her about my stay at the hospital in Kabul, how I found out she was dead, and the lack of communication from her father, Senator Galvas.
“That’s a horrible thing to have happen, I’m so sorry,” Nella says. “And I appreciate you telling me, but I’m not entirely clear on how that relates to me, or makes you act like an ass.”
She doesn’t hold back, and I have to remind myself it’s one of the things I like about her. She also makes a good point; I haven’t exactly explained myself well. I’m not sure I know how.
“I’m not that clear myself,” I confess, turning my head to find her hazel eyes fixed on me. “I guess in a nutshell; that experience fucked me up and I’ve tried to steer clear of people because of it. Don’t like anyone getting too close.”
“I see,” she mumbles, nodding slightly like she’s weighing my words before she adds sharply. “That explains your actions in the beginning, but I’m pretty sure that was you who cooked me breakfast after voluntarily spending the night in my bed, only to avoid me like the plague in the days following.”
“Yup, that was me,” I admit, feeling like the worst kind of scum when I see the hurt in her eyes.
She confirms how much with her next words.
“You know, you could’ve just told me you’re not interested. Did you have to be an asshole about it?”
I lift my hands to her face and lower my head until our noses are just inches apart.
“Babe, you’re so far off the mark it’s not even funny. The truth is, I freaked out because I care about you.”
“You have a unique way of showing that,” she comments dryly, making me grin.
“I’ve been told my delivery needs some work. Question is, will you give me another chance?”
She grabs onto my wrists and pulls my hands away from her face before she turns her back on me. Shit. Too little too late, I guess.
“Another chance for what? Because I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’ve got some stuff going on in my life—some major stuff—and I’m feeling vulnerable enough as it is.” I try to reach for her but she takes a step back, shaking her head. “There’s a reason I’ve avoided relationships like the plague. When there are no emotions, there are no expectations, and therefore no hurt or disappointment. I let go with you. Against my judgment I let you in and already you’ve been able to both hurt and disappoint me. With everything else going on, I don’t know if I have the resilience to take that chance again.”
Fuck, I really did a number on her. A nobler man would back off, but that’s not me. Especially not after hearing her admit I got under her skin as much as she got under mine.
“We’re not so different, you and I. But—as I’ve recently been made aware—those walls we have up for protection also limit us. I know how big the risk is I’m asking you to take because I’m taking one as well, but I, for one, no longer want fear to dictate my life.”
I invade her space and kiss her forehead, before delivering my parting shot.
“You may wanna think on that.”
I don’t know if I said the right thing—if she heard me—but I’m hopeful when I hear her running footsteps catch up with me.
“Wait…”
I turn around just as she slides to a stop right in front of me, a little out of breath. Then she rises up on her tiptoes and brushes a kiss at the corner of my mouth.
“Give me some time.”
Twenty
Nella
* * *
“I’m sorry you feel that way, Derek.”
I grind my teeth and fix my eyes out the window where Lucy is introducing Pippa to one of the rescue horses. She spent a lot of yesterday napping, but this morning she announced she wanted to get some fresh air.
“Not as sorry as I am. Your lack of loyalty to the college after all these years is a disappointment.”
That makes me laugh. Out loud.
“Lack of…loyalty? In my almost twenty years with the college I have missed a grand total of seven days. I have volunteered…no, you know what? I’m not even going to waste energy on this. This was a courtesy call, but you do what you need to do, Derek. I’ll be in touch with Human Resources first thing tomorrow morning.”
Then I hang up, grab my jacket from the coatrack, and head outside to talk to my sister.
“Did you know about Lucy’s plans?” she asks when I join them.
“What plans?”
“She’s training Hope here as a therapy horse.”
Pippa is rubbing the animal’s nose, clearly in her element.
I turn to Lucy. “Therapy horse?”
She shrugs. “It’s a dream I don’t know will ever come true—we’d need more than one trained horse for that—but we’ve gotta start somewhere. I thought eventually we could maybe offer a therapy program here for people with mental health problems or suffering from trauma. I already connected with a local psychotherapist who would be interested in developing a program. Equine therapy has shown to be effective for people with anxiety and depression, as well as for adults or kids on the autism spectrum.”
