Lights, Camera...Zombies!, page 1
A STRANGE SIGHTING
There was a large crowd hanging out behind the wooden barricades, just like there had been the day before. Frank caught sight of their friends among the crowd.
Weird. They weren’t watching the shoot. They were passing something around.
Frank and Joe walked over to them. “Hey, guys, what’s up?” Frank called out curiously.
“Frank! Joe! Where have you been?” Phil exclaimed.
“You won’t believe what happened to Madison,” Chet added.
Frank turned to Madison. “What’s going on? Are you okay?”
“No, I’m not okay,” Madison replied in a shaky voice. “I saw a zombie this morning. A real zombie!”
CONTENTS
1 Humans for Lunch
2 Lights, Camera, Zombies!
3 A Zombie Sighting
4 Strange Footprints
5 The Six Ws
6 Monstersightings.com
7 Too Many Zombies
8 Mystery Vanessa
9 Closing In
10 Secret File #12: Solved!
Hardy Boys Comic Strip
1
Humans for Lunch
Frank Hardy staggered across the lawn toward his brother, Joe, his arms outstretched. Frank was a zombie, and Joe was a human.
Translation: Joe was Frank’s lunch.
Joe, who was a year younger than Frank, picked up a long blue noodle from a pile of pool toys and wielded it like a sword. “You’ll never get me!” he cried out.
Frank ignored Joe’s threats and continued staggering.
“Stay back, you evil monster!” Joe shook the noodle menacingly at Frank.
Ha-ha, poor Joe. The flimsy foam tube was no match for Zombie Frank’s supernatural strength and appetite.
Nearby, Cissy Zermeño staggered toward Tico Sanchez. She was a zombie too, and Tico was her lunch.
“I . . . am . . . going . . . to . . . eat . . . you,” Cissy growled at Tico.
“Wait! Time-out!” Tico made a T with his hands. “You’re doing this all wrong, Cissy. Zombies can’t talk.”
Cissy stopped in her tracks and put her hands on her hips. “Well, this zombie can,” she said defensively.
Tico shook his head. “No way. Zombies are reanimated flesh. All they can do is move, make moaning noises, and eat people.”
“How do you know, Tico? Zombies aren’t even real,” Frank said, returning to human mode.
“Yeah. Why can’t we pretend some zombies can talk?” Joe piped up.
“I’m an expert on zombies. And I’ve never heard of a zombie that can talk,” Tico said. “Besides, do you have proof they aren’t real? How do you know there aren’t zombies right here in Bayport?”
“Um . . . I don’t think so.” Frank loved zombies, werewolves, and other supernatural creatures as much as the next nine-year-old. But they were totally fictional. It was fun to make believe they existed, though.
Frank, Joe, Cissy, and Tico were playing zombies in the Hardys’ backyard. Tico had just moved into the neighborhood. He would be joining the other kids at Bayport Elementary when school started in the fall.
The Hardys’ friend Phil Cohen was supposed to be here too, but he was late. Frank wondered where he was.
“Okay, puny humans. Watch and learn,” Tico said.
He ruffled his spiky dark brown hair so it was sticking out. He hung his right arm down at his side so that it was lower than his left, making him lopsided. He contorted his face into a monstrous grimace.
With slow, shuffling steps he limped toward Cissy, dragging his left leg behind him. “Ohhhhhhhhh!” he moaned in a spooky voice. A round silver key chain swung back and forth rhythmically from a belt loop on his black jeans. It had a picture of a zombie on it.
“Whoa! He’s really good,” Joe whispered to Frank.
Frank nodded. “He’s like that psycho zombie in that movie we saw last summer. What was it called?”
“The Zombie That Ate Chicago,” Joe reminded him.
“Yeah, that’s the one.” Frank remembered watching it at a sleepover at their friend Chet Morton’s house. Frank had covered his eyes during several scary scenes. At one point, during an especially gross part, he had excused himself to go to the bathroom, even though he hadn’t needed to.
“Are you zombies ready for some people food?” Mrs. Hardy called out.
Frank glanced over his shoulder. His mom walked across the lawn carrying a tray piled high with sandwiches. Aunt Gertrude followed behind with a pitcher of lemonade and cups.
Aunt Gertrude was the boys’ father’s sister. She used to live in New York City. Mr. and Mrs. Hardy had invited her to come live with them.
At first Frank and Joe had been nervous about having a new addition to the family, especially Aunt Gertrude, who could be a little bossy. But it had turned out to be nice to have her around—most of the time. She was a big help with housework and stuff.
Frank, Joe, Cissy, and Tico raced to the picnic table and sat down. Mrs. Hardy passed out paper plates and napkins, and Aunt Gertrude began pouring lemonade into cups.
“P-B-and-J me, please,” Joe said cheerfully.
“Not with those yucky zombie paws, you don’t,” Aunt Gertrude chided him. She thrust a packet of antibacterial wipes at him.
“But they’re not dirty!” Joe protested, holding up his hands.
“That’s what you always say, young man,” Aunt Gertrude observed drily. “Take a wipe and pass it around the table, please.”
Sighing, Joe obeyed.
“Where’s Phil? I made enough sandwiches for five of you,” Mrs. Hardy asked.
“I’m not sure. He was supposed to be here, like, half an hour ago,” Frank said.
Joe shrugged. “He’s probably building a computer from scratch and lost track of the—”
“Guys! Guess what?”
Everyone looked up. It was Phil—finally! His face was red and he was out of breath, as though he had been running.
“Phil, you’re just in time for lunch. Do you want tuna salad, ham and cheese, or peanut butter and jelly?” Mrs. Hardy asked.
Phil slid onto the bench next to Frank. “Thanks, Mrs. Hardy, but I’m too excited to eat,” he gasped. “I just heard the most amazing news ever. Raj Kureshi is in Bayport!”
“No. Way.” Tico’s eyes grew enormous.
“That’s awesome!” Frank exclaimed. Raj Kureshi was a famous Hollywood director whose specialty was sci-fi and horror movies. Frank’s personal favorites were Vampires Versus Robots and They Came From Jupiter.
Phil grinned. “I haven’t even told you guys the best part. He’s shooting a movie here. And it’s going to be about zombies!”
2
Lights, Camera, Zombies!
Move over. You’re blocking my view,” Joe told Adam Ackerman.
“No, you’re blocking my view,” Adam said. He popped a piece of Monster Melon bubble gum into his mouth and elbowed Joe, not gently.
Joe sighed and tried to move to a better spot—far away from Adam, who was a big bully and not fun to be around. But it was nearly impossible. Everyone in town seemed to have turned up in Bayport Park for the first day of the Zombie Mania shoot. The crowd jostled against the line of wooden barriers, trying to peek at the set and take pictures of celebrities.
The man in front of Joe leaned down to tie his sneaker. Yes! All of a sudden Joe had an almost perfect view of the set.
Craning his neck, Joe gazed around East Meadow in awe. The place was a beehive of activity. Dozens of people—crew members?—ran around with walkie-talkies and silver clipboards. Other people hung out inside large tents. Joe thought he recognized Raj Kureshi among them. He remembered the director’s shiny bald head and black-framed glasses from a TV interview.
There was equipment everywhere too: big cameras poised on tripods (except these tripods had more than three legs); massive lights; ladders, cranes, and scaffolds like the ones at construction sites; and long poles with what looked like microphones attached to them.
Then the man in front of Joe finished tying his shoe and stood up. Show over.
“Joe! Over here!”
Joe turned around. Frank waved to him from the far edge of the crowd. Next to him were Cissy, Phil, Tico, Chet Morton, and Chet’s sister Iola. There were a bunch of other kids from school there too, including Madison, Melissa, and Melissa’s brother, Todd.
Joe frowned. How could they see anything from way back there?
Frank waved to him again. Mumbling “Excuse me,” Joe made his way toward his brother and their schoolmates.
“This is the perfect spot,” Frank said to Joe when he reached them. “If you stand on your toes and lean way to the left, you can sort of see inside the tent where they’re doing hair and makeup. That’s where the actors and actresses are.”
“The tall blond actress who’s playing the zombie mom? My dad and I saw her at the grocery store yesterday,” Chet spoke up. “She was buying cereal! I said hi, and she smiled at me!”
“Big deal. The actor who plays Zog the zombie hunter? My dad’s cousin’s best friend’s neighbor went to college with him,” Madison bragged.
Madison was the most popular girl in their school. She was surrounded by her usual entourage of admirers. They all looked at her, wide-eyed, and a girl named Beatrice murmured, “Ohmigosh, Madison, you know everyone!”
Rolling his eyes, Joe stood on his toes and leaned way to the left, like Frank had said. Hmm. There was kind of a decent view of the hair an
“Where are the zombies?” Chet asked, confused.
“Uh, duh? That’s what those people in that tent are doing,” Tico said. “They’re hair and makeup experts. They work hours and hours to turn those actors and actresses into zombies. Plus, the actors still have to get into their zombie costumes.”
“Oh, wow! There’s Raj Kureshi!” Cissy said, pointing.
Joe followed her finger. The director strode briskly toward one of the cameras. Beside him was a woman with short black hair. She looked very businesslike in a beige suit and high heels. She said something to him, and his face creased into a deep frown.
Then Joe noticed a little girl skipping behind the two of them. She wore a red superhero cape over her yellow sundress, and a headband with ladybug antennae.
The girl tugged on Mr. Kureshi’s shirt and said something. The director turned around and said something back. The girl pouted unhappily.
“I wonder if that girl’s an actress,” Joe said out loud.
Madison flipped her hair over her shoulder. “Nope. That’s his daughter, Roma. She’s five. I’ve seen her picture in Celebrity magazine.”
Madison’s friend Haley smiled at her in admiration. “Madison, you are so smart!”
“Madison, you are so smart!” Joe mimicked under his breath. Frank grinned.
There was a faint buzzing sound. Madison reached into her pocket and pulled out her cell phone. It vibrated with a new text message.
Madison stared at the screen and gasped. “Oh. My. Gosh. News flash, people! My mom just texted. She found out that Raj Kureshi is going to hire a couple of local kids for the movie!”
“To do what?” Beatrice asked her.
“To be zombie extras. The parts are super-small, but still! Mom said the casting call is on Friday.” Madison frowned at her phone. “Casting call—what is that?”
Melissa stepped forward. “I’m sure that none of you amateurs know what a casting call is,” she said smugly. “It’s the same thing as auditions or tryouts. But Mr. Kureshi shouldn’t even bother. Todd and I are totally getting those parts!”
3
A Zombie Sighting
Frank and Joe exchanged a glance. Melissa and Todd thought they were famous actors, even though they weren’t. They had starred in a commercial once for Tasty, Tasty Treats Ice Cream, and they always managed to score the leads in the school plays.
“What makes you so sure?” Cissy asked Melissa. “I bet a bunch of kids are going to try out for those parts.”
“So what? None of them are Hollywood pros like Todd and me,” Melissa bragged. “Right, Todd?”
Hollywood pros? Seriously? Frank thought.
“Uh, right.” Behind her, Todd blushed and glanced down at his feet. He seemed uncomfortable with his sister’s bragging.
“Well, I’m going to try out,” Phil said.
“Me too. It would be so cool to be in a movie!” Iola said.
All of a sudden everyone was buzzing about the news. Frank turned to Joe. “Do you think we should try out too?” he said in a low voice.
“Are you kidding? Yes,” Joe replied immediately. “You and me playing zombies in a Raj Kureshi movie? That would be, like, the most epic experience ever!”
Frank smiled. His brother was right.
The question was: How were they going to beat out all this competition?
• • •
On Tuesday morning Frank and Joe sat in front of the family computer in their pajamas. They were reading an online article called “How to Become a Movie Extra”—for about the tenth time.
“I still don’t understand some of this stuff. Like, what’s an A.D.?” Joe asked Frank.
“I think A.D.s and assistant directors are the same thing,” Frank guessed. “It sounds like A.D.s do a bunch of important stuff. Like helping out with hiring extras.”
Joe nodded. “Cool. And do we bring our own zombie costumes for the tryout? I mean, casting call? Or do they give us one?”
“This article says we should ask the A.D.s about that. But we should bring costumes, just to be safe,” Frank replied.
“Smart.” Joe reached for a half-eaten granola bar that was sitting on the desk. “Is this mine or yours? I’m starving.”
Frank made a face. “I think that’s yours, from yesterday. Or maybe the day before. It’s probably infested with ants.”
“Ha-ha,” Joe said, taking a big bite.
Fenton Hardy walked into the room. He had a folded-up newspaper in one hand and a cup of coffee in the other. “Maybe you two should join the rest of us in the kitchen and eat a real breakfast,” he said merrily. “So. Are you movie stars yet?”
“That’s what we’re working on, Dad,” Joe replied. “We’re doing research on how to be extras and stuff.”
“And we’re doing research on zombies, too,” Frank added.
“Sounds good. Research is important.” As a private detective and former police officer, Mr. Hardy always did a lot of research for his work. “This zombie movie is certainly getting a lot of press. There’s a big article about it in the paper.”
“Can we see? Can we see?” Joe asked eagerly.
Mr. Hardy handed him the paper. Joe unfolded it and spread it out over the computer keyboard.
Frank peered over Joe’s shoulder. The front-page headline read:
HOLLYWOOD DIRECTOR RAJ KURESHI
BRINGS ZOMBIES TO BAYPORT
The article went on to explain that Mr. Kureshi planned to spend several weeks in town to shoot three key scenes for Zombie Mania. The movie was scheduled to be released next summer.
There was a small paragraph about the casting call for extras. It said: A source close to the movie indicated that two or three local residents would be cast for small parts in an important scene. The director is looking for boys and girls ages eight to twelve.
Frank mulled this over. “Dad, what does it mean when they say ‘a source close to the movie’? What’s a source?”
“In this case it’s someone who’s connected to the movie and has inside information about it,” Mr. Hardy explained. “It might be one of the movie’s publicists.”
“What’s a publicist?” Frank asked him.
“A publicist’s job is to get everyone excited about a new movie, a new book, a new TV show, that sort of thing. A publicist has to make sure there are a lot of newspaper and magazine articles, online coverage, and so forth.” Mr. Hardy added, “I’m sure the Zombie Mania people have hired a whole team of publicists. Good publicity is really important to the success of a movie.”
“Huh.” Joe chomped on his granola bar. “Does that mean when Raj Kureshi makes Frank and me his extras, the newspapers will write an article about us?”
Frank laughed. “Wow, Joe! You’re starting to sound just like Melissa,” he joked.
Joe didn’t look amused.
• • •
Later that morning Frank and Joe headed over to East Meadow for day two of the Zombie Mania shoot. Frank noticed Raj Kureshi near one of the big tents, talking to a couple of actors in zombie makeup and costumes.
He elbowed Joe and pointed to the actors. “Look!”
“Awesome,” Joe said eagerly. “That could be us, like, next week!”
There was a large crowd hanging out behind the wooden barricades, just like there had been the day before. Frank caught sight of their friends among the crowd.
Weird. They weren’t watching the shoot. They were passing something around.
Frank and Joe walked over to them. “Hey, guys, what’s up?” Frank called out curiously.
“Frank! Joe! Where have you been?” Phil exclaimed.
“You won’t believe what happened to Madison,” Chet added.
Frank turned to Madison. “What’s going on? Are you okay?”
“No, I’m not okay,” Madison replied in a shaky voice. “I saw a zombie this morning. A real zombie!”
4
Strange Footprints
A real zombie? Yeah, right, Joe thought. What would Madison claim next? That a UFO had landed in her backyard? That her pet hamster had shape-shifted into a German shepherd?
Joe glanced at Frank. Frank shrugged.
