Never Less: A Boyfriend's Dad Romance, page 8
After I finish getting ready for bed, I realize I’m still too wound up. There’s no way I’m going to fall asleep any time soon. It’s too late to try to get some work done, but I need something to occupy my thoughts until my body gets the memo.
I bite my lip, thinking, before it hits me. Marcus has all those books in the library downstairs. I could grab one and read until I get tired. Might take me all night, but it’s better than sitting here with my thoughts.
I’m only in a T-shirt and panties, and I contemplate throwing on a pair of shorts for all of a split second before deciding against it. Marcus is already in bed, so why bother?
Not wanting to disturb him, I open my door quietly and make my way down the hallway. But to my surprise, there’s a light on in his bedroom, and his door isn’t all the way closed.
As I’m about to walk past, I keep my eyes trained ahead. However much I want to peek inside, I don’t want to violate his privacy. But then I hear a deep moan from inside, and I freeze.
“Liliana. Fuck, little star.”
Marcus’s voice—the tightness, the breathlessness—sends a wave of heat through my body. There’s no mistaking how it sounds, and there’s no way I can pretend I didn’t hear him say my name.
Another moan sounds from behind the door, and against my better judgment, I peer through the cracked door. He’s sitting on the edge of his bed, completely naked, with his cock in his hand. His balls are tight, and his head is thrown back in ecstasy.
Wanting a better view, I place my hand on the door and push gently. Any more than an inch and he’ll notice, and if that happens, I’m not sure what we’ll do. But just as the crack widens enough that I can see all of him at once, the hinges creak.
Marcus’s head snaps toward the door, and his eyes lock with mine. I almost run back to my room on instinct, but something keeps my feet rooted to the floor. He’s not holding me in place, yet I’m utterly trapped in his gaze.
“Liliana.” He’s looking at me like he knows he should stop, but his hand only moves faster. He drinks me in—my bare legs, pink T-shirt, and hard nipples poking through the thin fabric.
I gulp. “I should—”
“Come here,” he says, and that desperate, hazy look in his eyes almost has me obeying without thought.
But I shake my head. “I can’t hurt him the way he hurt me, Marcus.”
“You don’t have to do a single thing, little star. Just come here.”
Something about the way he says that nickname tugs at my heart. Even though I know this is crossing a line—that this is something I won’t be able to take back—I make my way across the room to him.
“Get on your knees,” he says hoarsely as he stands.
Watching him, I slowly lower myself until I’m kneeling on the carpet. My gaze drops from his eyes to his hand, which is stroking his cock right in front of my face.
“Put your hands behind your back.”
After hesitating for a second, I do so.
“See?” he whispers. “Not doing anything wrong, are you?”
I nod, unsure of what to say—unsure of my ability to say anything.
“I’m going to come on your face, Liliana. Shake your head if you don’t want me to.”
My heart is beating out of my chest, and my eyes are still glued to his dick. A bead of precum has leaked from the tip, and I want nothing more than to lick it, but I don’t.
I don’t shake my head, either.
The groan that sounds from the back of Marcus’s throat is low and guttural, and hot liquid spurts onto my cheek a split second later. I close my eyes on instinct even though I want to see his expression. But this way, not being able to see, I can focus on his heavy breathing and the way he murmurs my name once he’s finished.
It’s so much hotter than I ever thought it’d be.
When his fingers brush down my jawbone, I hesitantly open my eyes. He’s staring down at me, and the reverence in his gaze sends a shockwave of lust through me. It’s a hundred times stronger than what I felt when we said goodnight, and it would’ve toppled me if I wasn’t already sitting.
Marcus’s cum drips down my face, and he swipes his thumb through some of it before it falls into my lap. His chest is heaving, and his eyes are lidded, but he doesn’t look sated even though he just came. No, he looks… hungry. Ravenous, even.
“When I saw you in that dress earlier, I didn’t think you could look any more beautiful. But I think I much prefer you like this.” His gaze dips to my bare thighs. “Goddammit, Liliana.”
I feel stupid not being able to say anything, but my mind hasn’t caught up with what my body just did. Marcus says something and then disappears from my line of sight, and all I do is blink.
I just cheated on Nate. I just cheated on my boyfriend of five years after begging him to fix things.
Something warm and wet brushes across my face, and I realize Marcus is kneeling in front of me. He swipes the washcloth over my cheeks, cleaning his cum off my skin.
His cum. My skin.
Oh my god.
Oh god, I want him to do it again.
No, no, no.
Nausea spreads through my stomach. I want Marcus. I’ve wanted him for years, although not as badly as I have since this trip started. Up until now, I had plausible deniability to hide behind, but after what we just did, that’s been ripped to shreds.
“Little star, I need you to tell me if you’re okay.”
“W… what?”
“I’ve asked you three times now. Are you all right?”
“I’m…” I blink, realizing my eyes have filled with tears of guilt, but not for the right reason. “I’m sorry.”
“You’re… sorry?”
I sit back on my heels, trying to put distance between us. “I don’t know what I’m doing, Marcus. I don’t… I don’t want to toy with you like this. It’s not fair of me.”
“Do I need to remind you that I’m the one who asked you to come in here?” He grips my chin, tilting it upward until I’m looking at him. “And I know that, where your future is concerned, this doesn’t necessarily mean anything.”
“But—”
“No buts, Liliana. I’m a grown man. I can make my own decisions and deal with the consequences.”
Marcus’s voice is firm, and that does things to me that it shouldn’t. I lean into his hand, wondering if I could keep this a secret. If I want to keep it a secret. If I want to ditch all my plans, everything that feels safe to me, and run straight into the unknown.
“I need to… I need to go to bed.” Standing, I stumble away from him.
He also feels safe, my mind whispers.
Marcus steps toward me, concern etched into his features with a hint of regret. “Liliana, if I shouldn’t’ve—”
“No!”
“I got caught up in the moment. I never should’ve asked you to come in here.”
“No, Marcus.” I place a hand on his chest, realizing too late that it’s a mistake. That I like my hand there, pressed up against his bare skin. “This isn’t… this isn’t your fault. I just have a lot of thoughts, but I don’t regret it. Not… not because of Nate.”
The line between his brows deepens. “Then—”
“Not now, Marcus. Please not now. I need to… I don’t know. I need to go.”
My hand slips from his chest, and I sprint away, not stopping until I’ve locked myself in the guest room. I press my back against the door and sink to the floor, hitting my forehead against my knees repeatedly.
It’s not for a solid fifteen minutes of fighting off tears that I realize I never got a book from the library, and that it doesn’t matter anyway, because I’d never be able to concentrate after what I just did.
Chapter eleven
Liliana
In the morning, Marcus leaves before I get up. I’m awake, of course, but I haven’t been able to convince myself to get out of bed. Facing Marcus after my mini meltdown last night feels too hard. He came all over me, and then I basically started crying. God, I probably made him feel awful.
When I hear him pull out of the driveway, I finally manage to sit up. It hurts a little that he left without even texting me to tell me where he’s going, but maybe another work emergency came up. Or… maybe he doesn’t want to face me, either.
I peer out the window while I’m brushing my teeth. The wind is still going strong. Fallen branches litter the neighborhood, and everything is soaked. Based on the dark clouds, it’ll probably start raining again soon.
It takes longer than normal for me to get dressed. I think part of me is hoping that by taking my time, the whole day will pass by, and then I can crawl back into bed.
The fact that I cheated on Nate isn’t even what’s bugging me. I mean, it is, but it’s more that I cheated in general. I’ve always prided myself on being loyal. While I know deep down that Nate deserves this—it’s what he did to me, after all—it’s the principle of it. I never thought I’d cheat, and though I let myself believe that I wasn’t actually doing anything in the moment, I knew it was a lie.
I cheated, plain and simple. Even if it’s justified, toying with Marcus like this isn’t what I want. He’s too good to be led on. I don’t care what he said last night. He deserves someone who can make decisions. Who can commit to him instead of crying to him about his asshole of a son.
Downstairs, I pour myself a cup of coffee. Part of me hopes that the storm ruined Nate’s backpacking trip, and when I check my phone, I realize I have a text from him.
Nate: Storm was bad enough that we had to head back. Stayed at a motel last night. It looks like it’ll pass in a few hours, so we’re gonna head back out then. Won’t be home until tomorrow morning.
Gross. Hiking through mud all day and then sleeping on the wet ground? Not my idea of a good time. But it’s not the first time Nate has stayed out during bad weather.
I’m kind of grateful for it, though. Even though my boyfriend apparently prefers hiking through mud and rain over spending time with me, it gives me more time to sort out my thoughts.
Liliana: Thanks for the update.
A couple seconds later, my phone rings, and I stare at it in surprise. After the not-even-bare-minimum text I got last night, Nate calling me is the last thing I was expecting, but here we are. I take the call and hold the phone to my ear.
“Hey. What’s up?”
Jumbled noises come through the speaker, and then I hear distant voices. Nothing too coherent, though.
“Nate?”
He doesn’t respond, but I hear a voice in the background. Levi’s, maybe?
“What’s she even doing here, man? I thought you were going to break up with her months ago.”
“I’ll get to it. Just gotta wait for the time to be right.”
I frown. That was Nate’s voice.
“What the hell does that mean?” Levi asks.
“She found out about Shannon.”
I wince at her name coming from Nate’s lips. I don’t blame Shannon for what he did. As far as I know, Nate kept my existence from her a secret. She looked just as surprised and pissed as I did when I found them together. Still, it did little to make the discovery less painful.
“And she stayed with your ass?” Matthias asks.
“I convinced her to,” Nate says. “It’s just for now. I want us to break up on my terms, not hers, you know? I figure once this trip is over, I’ll end things.”
My jaw drops, and tears of disbelief sting my eyes. I can’t be hearing this right.
“Dude, that’s fucked up,” Levi says, but he’s laughing.
Like he thinks it’s funny that Nate is planning to break my heart all over again.
“Yeah, whatever. I’m sick of her thinking she’s better than me at everything. Making money, being a better partner, all that shit. Whatever.”
I place a hand over my mouth to stifle a sob. Tears fall onto my cheeks as Nate goes on and on. Better than him? I’ve never acted like I thought that. All I’ve ever wanted is for him to love me the way I loved him. That’s why I gave him another chance—something that I now realize was a stupid, naive mistake.
Just before a sob wracks my body, I end the call and toss my phone onto the island. I didn’t realize how hard I was clinging to the shred of hope that Nate still cared. God, if he ever cared.
Everything I felt when I discovered him with Shannon hits me like a truck. This time, though, it’s worse. Nate has been manipulating me this whole time, all so he can be the one to end things. He begged me to stay. Promised me he’d do better. And since then, all he’s done is make me feel like I’m asking for too much.
He never meant any of it. He was never going to try for me.
I stumble back, gripping onto the counter to stay upright. Deep down, I know it’s not my fault. It’s not an issue of me not being enough—it’s an issue of Nate being a selfish ass. But the feelings of unworthiness stick to me anyway. Because even if I should be enough, I wasn’t for him, and he’s who I wanted.
“Liliana?” Marcus’s voice sounds close, but I can’t see him through my tears.
All I manage is another sob. I didn’t even hear the garage door opening or him coming inside.
“Oh, little star. What did he do this time?” He sets something on the counter that sounds like a paper bag, and then I hear him come closer. But when he gently touches my shoulder, I shy away.
How can I explain this to him? How can I ask him to understand? I can’t cry about the fact that Nate led me on when I’ve been doing the same thing to Marcus. It’s not fair of me.
“Liliana, please don’t do this. Tell me how I can fix this.”
But he can’t. There’s no fixing a stupid girl who fell for a selfish man’s games. There’s no comforting the woman who flirted with you, who made you finally feel something again, when she gets a taste of her own medicine.
So I do the only thing I can.
I run.
Chapter twelve
Marcus
“Liliana!”
When I saw her a mess in my kitchen, the last thing I expected her to do was bolt, so I’m frozen in shock for a second. It’s only when I realize she’s heading for the back door that I come to my senses.
She shoves it open and stumbles into the pool area, and I jump into action. Goddammit, I should’ve seen this coming. I had her unintentionally cornered. Heading outside was the only way she could escape our conversation without having to move past me.
I chase after her, ignoring the fact that I already took my shoes off. It’s started raining again, but that isn’t stopping her, and it sure as hell isn’t going to stop me. I’m not letting her get caught out here alone.
“Liliana, the storm!”
But the winds are strong enough that she doesn’t hear me. Either that, or she’s ignoring me. I run as fast as I can, dashing through the backyard until the ground transforms from grass into sand. It’s wet and clumpy and slows me down, but it does the same to her, too.
When I catch up with her, she’s made it halfway to the waterline. I grab her arm, but she slips from my grasp, her skin slick from the rain. A sob rips through the air as she loses her balance and careens to one side. I try to catch her, but she pushes me away, the force of it making her trip and fall.
She crashes to the ground, a surprised yelp escaping her lips as her knees hit the sand. Within seconds, I drop in front of her, grabbing her shoulders.
“Are you all right?” I do my best to check her over. “Did you hurt yourself? Are you—”
“All I feel is hurt,” she cries. “There isn’t anything else. Hurt and shame and hatred and—Marcus, stop!” She shoves my hands away, which were in the process of pushing back the hair that’s plastered to her face. “Just go.”
“The only way I’m leaving this beach is if you’re with me. Fight me all you want, but I’m not leaving your side until you’re back in the house.”
She tries to shove me away, but I only pull her closer, dragging her through the sand until she’s in between my legs.
“What did he do?” I ask, vaguely aware of the possibility that she’s not crying because of my son. That this might all be my fault. “Liliana, is this because of last night?”
I never should’ve invited her in. Never should’ve used her the way I did.
“He’s going to leave me,” she chokes out. “He had a plan to before I found out he was cheating, and when I said I was going to break up with him, he begged me to stay. He promised to fix things, Marcus, but it was only so he could be the one to end things.”
I can barely make out what she says over the wind and the waves crashing, so it takes me a second to realize that I heard her correctly. I sit in stunned silence, my hand traveling up and down her back because I have no fucking clue what to say.
I’m going to kill him.
“And I’m the same,” Liliana says, her voice shaky.
That snaps me back to reality. Why the fuck does she think that?
“Because I want you, Marcus. I want you with everything in me. But you… I took advantage of you, just like Nate is doing to me. And after what I did last night, how could… I can’t trust Nate, so how could you…” Her voice breaks, and she hangs her head in shame. When her forehead hits my shoulder, I realize she’s trembling.
“You didn’t take advantage of me,” I tell her, utterly bewildered. If anything, it was the other way around.
“I flirted with you! I led you on without having any clue how things would turn out. And then—and then there was last night, and Marcus, I feel awful.”
Dread sinks into my stomach like a lead weight. “Lil—”
“You’re vulnerable right now,” she continues, “and it wasn’t fair of me. I should’ve thought about how all this would affect you. That’s what I want for myself, isn’t it? For someone to care. And Marcus, I’m sorry.”
She’s crying again, her face buried in her hands now, and all I do is stare at her. My hand stops rubbing her back as I try to figure out how this is what she’s so upset about.
