A Promise in the Bay (Chasing Tides Book 4), page 15
Paige smiled, feeling a warmth fill her heart. “Okay.” She nodded, and Josie patted her shoulder.
I guess I’m glad that phone call happened, she thought. It’s hard to see things clearly sometimes, but it’s going to be better for me moving forward. I love my mom, but I’m going to do what Josie did and make sure I follow the path that’s best for me. And that’s staying here in Blueberry Bay.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
Sandy sat in the examination room at the doctor’s office, taking deep breaths and telling herself not to be anxious. She’d just been taken through a series of tests as the doctor attempted to determine what had been causing her consistent upset stomach.
Earlier that day, Daniel had offered to come with her to her appointment, but she’d told him that she was fine going on her own. “I’m sure it’s nothing serious. It’s just an upset stomach,” she’d said, but after watching the doctor frown in concentration and having to answer so many questions—not to mention the tests!—she was starting to wonder if it might be something more serious after all.
What can cause an upset stomach? she wondered. Am I developing a food allergy? I hope not. And I hope it’s not something even more serious than that! Maybe I have some kind of bacterial infection and they’re going to give me antibiotics.
She tapped her foot against the floor as she waited. The examination room had the sterile, clinical smell of a hospital and she didn’t like it. It reminded her of going to the doctors as a child—something that she’d never wanted to do. Makes me think of being sick, she thought. She felt another wave of nausea coming on at that moment, and she closed her eyes, doing her best to fight it down.
She heard the door to the examination room open, and she opened her eyes. Into the room stepped the doctor, smiling broadly. “We have the results of your tests.”
“Oh?” Her heart was beating faster. Why is he smiling? she thought. Is it because it’s good news, or because he’s trying to be nice to me because it’s bad news? She held her hands together in her lap, determined to stay calm but feeling her nausea start to swirl again. “What is it?”
“Nothing serious. Well—I guess it is serious, but not in a bad way. It’s serious in a very good way.”
Sandy blinked at him, feeling confused. I wish he would get to the point, she thought helplessly. “What do you mean?”
“I have some good news for you, Sandy.” He sat down in the chair across from her, holding a stack of printed papers. On the top page, she read the word “pregnancy” and her heart did a somersault. “You’re pregnant.”
Sandy’s jaw dropped. For a moment, she felt as though she couldn’t breathe. She held perfectly still, taking in his words. It felt too good to be true. “Are… are you sure? I’d been told that I’m infertile.”
“That doesn’t mean that having a baby is impossible for you.” He smiled at her. “The body is an amazing thing, and sometimes it sorts out some things on its own. Other times, something happens based on the slightest chance, and it just feels like a miracle.”
He must know how I feel, she thought. That’s it. This feels like a miracle.
Her head was spinning and she could hardly think straight. But underneath her shock, a wild, exquisite joy was growing.
I’m going to have a baby.
“You’re sure?” she asked again. “I’m definitely pregnant?”
He nodded, smiling at her. “Not only are all your symptoms consistent with the early stages of pregnancy, but we did two tests, and they both came back as positive. You’re going to have a baby, Sandy.”
For the rest of her visit, he talked her through the information sheets that he was sending home with her and discussed the next steps she needed to take. She had a lot of doctors’ appointments ahead of her, and he also recommended classes and some online resources for her to peruse.
“I know you’re feeling overwhelmed right now,” he told her. “It’s a big piece of news, especially when it’s unexpected. Take some time to soak it in. Tell your husband. Then take a look at all these resources—there are a lot of things to think about when you’re expecting.”
She nodded, smiling at him. Daniel. I’ve got to tell Daniel. For a moment her heart fluttered, wondering how he was going to feel about the completely unexpected news.
“Do you have any questions?” the doctor asked her as she took the stack of papers out of his hands.
“Not at the moment,” she said, still feeling dazed.
“Well, if you have any later, give us a call. We’re happy to help you out on this journey.”
She thanked him and left the examination room. She checked in briefly at the front desk and smiled at the receptionist who grinned at her when she saw the stack of papers in her hands.
“Are you expecting?” she asked, her expression eager.
Sandy almost shook her head. “Yes,” she stammered. She felt as though she was living someone else’s life or watching a movie. She could hardly believe that she herself was actually pregnant.
It still feels too good to be true, she thought as she stepped out of the hospital and made her way to her car. Once she was inside it, she turned on the engine and sat staring into space. Hot air filled the car, keeping her warm and comfortable,
She placed a hand on her stomach, gazing down at it and feeling her heart swirl.
“Hey there,” she whispered. “I didn’t know you were in there.”
Tears rushed to her eyes. She had wanted this so much for so many years, and she couldn’t believe it was really happening. Her heart was pounding, and even though she was happy—so completely happy—she also felt overwhelmed, and a little scared.
She didn’t begin to drive away. Instead, she sat there, staring straight ahead without really looking at what was in front of her. I’m going to have a baby, she kept telling herself. I’m going to have a baby. Her mind jumped to all of the many things she needed to do to prepare—what would they do about a nursery? The only other bedroom in the house was Tommy’s. And how would Tommy feel about living with a crying baby? And what would Daniel think about all this? It was so much, all at once. Her heart panged, worrying about springing all of it on him the way it had just been sprung on her.
It can’t be helped, she told herself. It’s got to be a surprise to him too, it just happened that way. I just hope it’s not a shock or anything like that!
As she sat staring at a clump of snow that was slowly sliding off the hood of the car in front of her, her phone began to vibrate. She hurriedly pulled it from her purse, thinking the caller was probably Daniel or Tommy, but the name on the screen was Caitlin Lewis.
“Hi, Caitlin,” she said breathlessly as she answered the phone.
“Hey, Sandy!” Caitlin’s tone was breezy and she sounded as though she was smiling. “How are you?”
“I—I’m good,” she stammered. “How are you?”
“Great. Do you have a minute?”
Sandy nodded, feeling distracted, and then said, “Yes, I do.”
“I was wondering if you carry black cardamom at the grocery store. I know it’s a rare spice, but I could have sworn I saw it there once, and I’d like to use it for a recipe I’m concocting.”
“Oh? What recipe?” Her heart was still fluttering, but she wanted to be polite. Besides, the more Caitlin spoke, the less she needed to.
“A braised beef, Chinese style,” Caitlin said. “My next pop-up event is being held in the courthouse—in that beautiful meeting room with the stained glass—and I want to have all kinds of special dishes for people to order.”
“That sounds great.” Her mind was racing, trying to remember if they’d ever sold black cardamom. She’d heard of it, but she didn’t remember ever stocking it in their store. “I… you know, I can’t remember if we’ve ever carried that. Let me check when I can, and I’ll call you back?”
“Sure.” There was a short pause, and Caitlin asked, “Are you okay, Sandy?”
“Oh, absolutely!” Sandy froze, wondering what to say next. Her heart felt like it was going up and down on a Ferris wheel.
“You sure?”
Sandy took a deep breath, realizing that she should tell Caitlin her news. She almost felt bad, telling someone else before she told Daniel, but Caitlin had become a good friend and she needed to get some of the fluttery feelings off her chest. She needed someone to talk to about everything she was thinking.
“Yes… I—well, I’m actually sitting in the parking lot at the hospital.”
“Oh no! Are you okay? Is Daniel okay? Or is it Tommy?”
“No, no, nothing like that. We’re all fine. We’re all great, actually.” She took another deep breath. “I just found out, totally out of the blue, that I’m pregnant.”
“You’re what?” Caitlin’s voice was almost a squeal. “Oh my goodness, Sandy, that’s incredible news!”
“It is,” Sandy agreed, smiling a little. She felt kind of numb, still in shock from the sudden impact of the news. “It really is.”
“I’m absolutely thrilled for you!”
“Thank you.”
There was a short pause. “Is everything okay?” Caitlin’s tone was concerned. “Why don’t you sound more excited?”
Sandy bit her lip. “I am excited, but—”
“But what?” her friend asked gently.
“It’s so unexpected. And I’m not the only person who the news impacts.”
“That’s true. But I’m sure Daniel will be thrilled about it, and Tommy might have moved on to another home by the time you have the baby.”
“No, that’s—that’s the thing. Daniel and I have been talking, and we’d said we want to adopt Tommy.”
“Oh, that’s wonderful! What did Tommy say?”
“We haven’t asked him yet. And I guess that’s a good thing”—her voice caught—“because maybe now Daniel’s going to change his mind about that.”
“You mean because of the baby?”
“Yes. What if he feels like it’s all too much? I mean, it is a lot. We’d be double-duty parents of a baby and a teenager, just when we’re learning how to really be parents for the first time.”
“It does sound like something out of a sitcom,” Caitlin agreed. “But it’s not something you can’t handle. And having Tommy around might help. He’s such a sweet kid, I know he’d want to help you both out with everything.”
“That’s true. But—” She hesitated, not wanting to speak her biggest fear, but feeling as though she had to put the words out into the open, or the thought would keep gnawing at her. “What if Daniel isn’t excited about the baby? We’d come to terms with not being able to have children. What if he feels like we’re too old to have children now?”
“Don’t worry. I’m sure he’s going to be thrilled that he’s a father. He loves you so much.”
Sandy inhaled, still feeling nervous. “I know he’s going to support me no matter what, but—I just hate the idea of telling him and seeing that instead of being happy, he’s disappointed.”
“He’s not going to be disappointed. I know this must be completely overwhelming, but just remember that this is like a miracle. Miracles are usually unexpected. Enjoy your miracle, and trust that all of the details are going to fall into place as you go.”
“You’re right.” Her heart warmed, hearing the kind words of her friend, and she felt a surge of gratitude. “Thanks for talking me through this.”
“Anytime. I’m totally here for you, for whatever you need. Now you drive yourself home and tell your husband your good news, okay? And don’t be worried!”
“Okay. Thank you again.”
They said affectionate goodbyes and hung up—but despite the words of her friend, Sandy still felt worried as she finally started to move her car toward home.
Daniel stepped into the kitchen, looking for Sandy. He and Tommy had just finished watching The Avengers—celebrating Tommy’s Christmas break with a movie night—but Sandy had told them that she wanted to get some things done and to watch the movie without her. Tommy had gone to bed after the film, and now Daniel was looking for his wife, wondering what she was doing.
She wasn’t in the kitchen, although it was spotlessly cleaned up, so he knew she had been in there. I hope she’s feeling all right, he thought.
When she’d returned home from the doctor’s, she’d told him that everything was fine and there was nothing wrong with her. He’d hugged her, glad that they had nothing to worry about, but she’d seemed distracted during their hug, and then had continued to act distracted all during dinner. He’d caught her staring into space with her eyebrows lifted slightly multiple times, as if she was thinking about something that she was in shock about. When he’d asked her if something was the matter, she’d told him no.
What if she’s nauseous again, and there really is something the matter? he thought, feeling worried. Something that the doctor couldn’t diagnose? Or worse still—what if she did get bad news but she’s keeping it from me because she doesn’t want me to worry?
Frowning, he made his way to their bedroom. He pushed open the door and saw his wife sitting in her favorite armchair by the window, staring at an open book that she was holding. She looked up when she noticed him enter the room.
“Hey, sweetheart.” She smiled warmly, but he could see that same distracted look in her eyes. “How was the movie?”
“The movie was great.” He walked across the room to her and kissed her cheek. “You’re reading?”
“Yeah.” She glanced down at the page of her book as if she didn’t recognize it.
I don’t think she’s really been reading, he thought. I think she meant to, but instead she’s been sitting here thinking. And worrying. I wish she would tell me what’s going on.
“Are you sure you’re all right, sweetheart?” he asked her, looking into her eyes.
She offered him a brave smile. “I’m definitely all right.”
He pressed his lips together, and then nodded. “Well, if you’re sure. You’re not feeling sick again, are you?”
She shook her head. “No, I feel fine right now.”
“Okay. I’m going to get ready for bed, I guess.”
A few minutes later, he had put on his pajamas and was crawling into bed. Sandy was still sitting in her armchair, her eyes on the page of her book. He picked up his own book from the nightstand and opened it.
He tried to read, but he couldn’t concentrate on the words. He kept glancing at his wife, noticing that her eyes didn’t move as she stared at the page. She wasn’t reading. Instead, she was staring into space and frowning, deep in thought about whatever it was she wasn’t sharing with him.
“Sweetheart, please tell me what’s going on,” he said. He set his book down, and she looked up, startled.
“What do you mean?”
“What’s wrong, Sandy? Please tell me.”
“I—well, I am feeling a little nauseous again.”
“But if the doctor didn’t find anything wrong with you, then you should be feeling better, shouldn’t you?”
Sandy closed her book, her eyes on the floor in front of her. She almost looked as if she was making a decision. “That’s not necessarily the case,” she said slowly.
He got out of bed. He walked across the floorboards to her chair and knelt down in front of her, taking her hands in his. He squeezed them tightly as he looked up into her familiar eyes.
“I love you,” he told her, his voice gentle. “And I know you very well. I can tell that something’s up. Please tell me what’s going on.”
His wife took a deep breath and he saw tears rush into her eyes. “Daniel, when I went to the doctor today, they gave me some very unexpected news.”
His grip on her hands tightened. “I thought you said there isn’t anything wrong with you.”
She shook her head. “There isn’t. It’s not that there’s something wrong with me, it’s that—”
“What?” he asked.
Tears spilled out of her eyes. “I’m pregnant.”
He stared at her, feeling his stomach drop and his heart lift up at the same time.
“You’re… you’re pregnant?” He could hardly speak, he was so shocked. The news was completely unexpected.
“Yes. That’s what I learned at the doctor’s. It’s why I’ve been feeling nauseous.”
Daniel felt his heart pounding in his chest, and the realization that they were about to have a child flooded him with an intense joy. A huge smile spread across his face as he stroked her hands with his thumbs.
“We’re going to have a baby,” he said, unable to keep from laughing a little with happiness. “Why on earth didn’t you tell me until now?”
She bit her lip as she watched him, but her eyes had a light in them that hadn’t been there a moment ago. “I’m sorry. I—I was scared. I was worried you would think that we were too old to have a baby.”
He shook his head. “Not at all. I’m absolutely thrilled.”
She smiled tentatively, but he could tell that something was still worrying her.
“What is it?” he asked gently.
“What about Tommy?” she asked, the worried look returning to her eyes. “I don’t want to abandon him now that we have our own child. I know it would be so much happening at once, but I still want to adopt him. I know we haven’t brought it up to him yet, so he wouldn’t be disappointed, but in my heart, I’ve already made a commitment to him. In my heart, he’s our son already. I just adore him. I don’t want to cut him loose because we’re going to have this baby.”
He listened to her fears attentively, wanting to be able to reassure her right away but not wanting to interrupt her. When she finally paused to take a breath, he lifted himself up and kissed her squarely on the mouth.
“You worry too much,” he teased her. “I think it’s the hormones.”
Her lips popped open into an “o” shape, but before she could protest, he shook his head and said, “It’s okay. We can absolutely manage adopting Tommy and having a baby at the same time. It will be a challenge, but I know we can do it. We don’t have to choose. We’ve always wanted a family. Remember how we used to talk about having two kids before we stopped trying?”
