Glimpse: Book One of the Glimpse Quartet, page 27
“Does that mean I am forgiven?”
“Not yet.”
“Keep me posted.” I can hear the smile in his voice. We pull out of our embrace and I stand on my toes to kiss him. He leans down so that I don’t have to stretch as far and presses his lips to mine. I want more of him, but I know if we keep going, I will not get anything done tonight, so I pull away with a sigh.
“Do you want me to stay?”
“Yes. But you can’t. I have to work on the Hamlet paper and talk to my mom.” I unwrap my arms from his neck and take a step back.
“Am I that much of a distraction?” He cocks his head, smiling at me fondly.
“I plead the fifth.” I bite my lip. He grabs my hand at the fingertips and pulls me toward him. When his lips touch my forehead, I let my excitement show on my face while I know he cannot see me.
“Goodnight. And good luck on your paper.” He walks back to his car, but stops before he gets in. “What’s your topic?”
“Revenge, of course,” I call from the porch. His gaze turns cold.
“Classic.” He slides in, and I can no longer see his face. I try to place the expression I saw there before he turned away, and I stand in front of my house long after he leaves. Without him, the uneasy feeling is back in my stomach. I want to call Gia to get her opinion, but I know what she would say. And there is too much I cannot tell her anyway.
With one last groan, I turn back for my house and walk inside, instinctively cleaning up the mess of unwashed dishes in the sink and cans on the table. When the house is tidy, I pull my backpack up to the kitchen table and get started on homework. If I am going to apologize to my mom, I might as well do it right when she gets home.
I start on my paper by cataloguing and citing all the quotes I plan to use from the novel. It is good busy work, and my focus on writing each quote correctly helps me to keep my thoughts off of Liam and Vaughn. By the time my mom comes through the door, I have started writing the introduction.
“Hey Mom.” I turn around to see her walking in, eyes focused on the ground.
“Hey,” she says, her voice quiet. She isn’t drunk, but she looks sad. I check the clock to see that it is almost ten. I wonder where she was hiding all this time sober. I guess she has been avoiding me, too.
“I wanted to talk to you.” I stand up from the table to block her from going back to her room. I hate how formal I sound. I feel like the parent in this situation instead of the child. “I need to apologize for the other night.”
“It’s fine,” she waves it off, but I can see the hurt in her eyes.
“No, I shouldn’t have snapped at you. It was callous, and I’m sorry for saying it.” She walks over to the table and takes a seat, her short black hair falling in chaos around her face. Even in her rumpled state, she is beautiful. She has always been a beautiful woman; it is the drinking that makes her so unappealing.
“You were right. You are paying the bills.” The shame in her voice is palpable, and my heart reaches out to her as I sit down. We sit in silence for a long time.
At last I reach for her hand, holding it in mine as tears build up behind my eyes. “I miss him too.”
She looks at me for a long time without saying anything, but I can see the emotions playing across her face.
“I keep waiting for it to go away, but it never does,” I continue. She never talks to me about him, but maybe if I talk to her, it will help her to open up.
“I don’t think it ever will.” She smiles at me sadly.
“Sometimes I dream about him. We do things together, like go to the beach or walk through the city. Then I wake up and realize he’s gone, and it’s like losing him all over again.”
“Stop. I don’t want to talk about it anymore.” She shakes her head, tears cresting in her eyes .
“We have to talk about it.”
“No. We don’t,” she snaps, looking up to meet my eyes .
“You never want to talk about it, Mom! That’s why it hurts so much. You’re never going to be okay if you can’t figure out a way to talk about it.”
“It’s never going to be okay! Period.” Dropping her head on the table, she sobs into her arms. “I’m sorry. I want to be strong for you, sweetie. But there’s so much you don’t know.”
“What don’t I know?” Is everyone lying to me? “You can tell me, please,” I clasp her arm, willing her to let me in. She lifts her head to look at me again, propping her cheek up on her hand.
“Nothing. It’s nothing,” she shakes her head.
“Don’t shut me out.”
“I didn’t mean anything by it.” She shakes her head again. “When you lose a soulmate, you lose a part of yourself, that’s all. I loved your father so much. Without him, part of me will always be missing. And there is no way to get it back.”
I cannot fix this, and I do not know how to comfort her, so I scoot my chair closer to hers and wrap an arm around her shoulders. For a long while, she cries into my shoulder, her body shaking.
“What are we going to do?” I ask her when her tears subside and her body stills. I search her eyes for answers. She stares back, seeing through me. Eyes red and swollen, she whispers, “I don’t know.”
Chapter Thirty-Nine
Blair
Greyish circles hang beneath my eyes, a parting gift from a night spent following Liam and Vaughn through an endless maze. The shower is too hot, but I stand beneath the water anyway, longing for the safety of my bed without the unwelcome plague of nightmares.
By the time Gia knocks on the front door, I know I must be really late for her to bother.
“Coming!” Stopping in the kitchen to stuff a granola bar in my backpack, I struggle to get the zipper fully closed on my way out. “Sorry I’m a mess this morning—oh!” Vaughn’s chest stops me on my porch.
He grabs my shoulders to steady me, all blond hair and pale skin that is decidedly not Gia’s.
“What are you doing here?” His bright red Mustang waits in the road, more out of place than a gas station hot dog at a plated wedding.
“I need to talk to you.” His angelic face is creased with worry as he checks over his shoulder.
Taking a small step back, I look him up and down. What seemed harmless and flirty before is suddenly threatening, the only difference of course being my knowing what he is. “What’s up?”
“You know what I am,” he answers my thoughts.
“I don’t…I should—” I search my brain for a good excuse, a denial—anything, but come up blank.
“I imagine he told you. But he didn’t tell you everything, love.”
“I have to get to school.” There’s no room to step around him—not that I have anywhere to go.
“Please, Blair.” He holds his hands up in a pleading gesture. “I know you can feel it. You’re in danger.”
The nightmares play on demand in my head, one after the next in rapid succession.
“You should know the truth.” His voice drips with honey, blue eyes burning with emotion I can’t put a name to.
“Okay.” Clearing my throat, I work to stand a little taller. “Shoot.”
He shakes his head, checking over his shoulder once more. “Not here.”
A delicate fog clings to the road behind him, dangerously close to burning off in the morning sun. His appearance is so out of the blue I don’t know what to make of it. But I might not get another chance like this.
“Who drives a Mustang in Oregon?” I nod at the outrageous sore thumb behind him.
His face transforms into an easy grin as he drops into a slouch. “Want a ride?”
The leather inside is black and smells brand new, the carpet pristine and the dash freshly dusted. I’m sure I’ve never been so close to something this expensive.
“I have a taste for the finer things.” He smirks while I take it in, wrestling the clutch into first gear.
“Where are we going?”
“Don’t you worry your pretty little head about that.”
My stomach lurches when he hits the gas, my back hitting the seat so hard I think my ribs are bruised.
“Holy shit!” Grabbing the sides of my seat, I try not to imagine what will happen to me if we hit something. Maybe this was a huge mistake.
His answering laugh is carefree and void of any hint at slowing down. “You should let Gia know you don’t need a ride.”
The attempt at distraction is obvious, but I pull out my phone anyway to let her know, figuring it’s safer if someone knows where I am so she can direct the search and rescue team.
“Is this the murder part? I probably should have seen this coming, in hindsight.” Why did I get in the car? Liam and Gia would both be furious if they saw how it unfolded.
“Jesus, Blair, that’s so dark. Then again, I am a fallen angel, right?”
“Small detail,” I breathe, peeking at the speedometer. If I tried to bail now, I’d likely just get myself killed.
He shakes his head. “He’s so predictable.”
“Pardon?” My casual tone belies my racing heart, and in this moment, I am proud to be brave in the face of such imminent and embarrassing disaster.
“I’m not fallen.”
Well there’s a curve ball. “Sure. You’re just a regular guy with superhuman speed and strength. And wings, right?”
Once again, he laughs, the sound so genuine and at war with his current need-for-speed aesthetic that it sends a shiver down my spine. “I am an angel, Blair. Pretty high class too—I’m a guardian.”
In all the time I’ve spent with Liam, I’ve yet to ask about all the non-fallen angels. I hadn’t even stopped to consider the other factions. By all logic, there would certainly be guardian angels too. But how am I supposed to tell the difference?
“A guardian. Like some fairy godmother shit.”
“Well, that’s very emasculating, thank you. But essentially, yes. Protecting you silly humans is my sworn duty—a never-ending, impossible task, I’m afraid.”
My head is spinning too much to respond, but I can’t shake the feeling deep in my gut.
“I enrolled at Taft because of him. I couldn’t let him try it again, darling.”
“Try what?” The road speeds past beside me, but all I can do is stare out the windshield, the image of Liam’s black wings both ominous and comforting in my memory.
Vaughn hesitates, concern twisting his features. “Let’s just say the humans in Florida are a lot safer now.”
“This doesn’t make any sense.” He saved my life—more than once. I would know if he was dangerous, right? No one could fake it this sincerely.
“I was hoping it wouldn’t get this far.” He sounds sad, like he’s explaining the reality of death to a small child.
“No.” I shake my head, dispelling the scenes from my nightmares. “He saved my life.”
“The night you fell off the cliff?”
My blood chills. “How do you know about that?”
“Liam was so heroic, wasn’t he?” This time I do not answer, afraid to give him any information he doesn’t already have.
“And the night you almost got hit by that car? What a show!”
“Pull over.” I reach uselessly for the door handle.
“I would have warned you sooner, but I didn’t realize how serious it had become between you two.”
“Stop the car!” I yell. To my surprise, he does, skidding to a stop so fast it throws me forward. I gasp, my neck burning from the friction of the seatbelt. As I peer through the fog, I realize he’s brought me to the edge of Deerborne Forest.
“Five minutes. Give me five minutes to plead my case, and then if you want to leave, I’ll take you straight home.” He holds his hands up in surrender, looking boyish and completely innocent.
It would take me hours to walk home from here, and that’s if he lets me leave. I’m sure Gia would be more than happy to ditch for me, but what hope does either of us have against Vaughn?
Liam. I could call him. I should call him. But for some reason, I don’t want to. It’s not as if he’d offer any clarity here.
“Five minutes,” I agree.
He leans over me and opens the glove box, pulling out a stack of papers before loping out of the car and straight for the tree line, pausing at the edge to wait for me.
On some level I know I’m the girl in the horror movie waltzing down to the dark basement without a care in the world, but something has me stepping out of the car, anyway.
In the dim light of the forest, I struggle to make out his features, but I can still see his general shape. “This is far enough. Why all the games?”
“Isn’t it obvious? He’s not your hero, Blair. He tried to kill you—at least twice, by my count.”
Shaking my head, I keep at least six feet between us in a vain attempt to calm my nerves. “Funny. Didn’t seem that way.”
“Fair enough,” he sighs. “I suppose he didn’t have any intention of killing you—yet. But he only made it look he was your savior. How do you think he got to you so fast on the beach? What, like he just happened to be out for a stroll?”
It doesn’t make any sense. What reason could he possibly have to push me off a cliff and then pretend to save me? “You’re lying.”
“Seems a bit convenient, no?”
“Let’s say you’re not full of it. He couldn’t have been driving the car.” I can’t believe I’m entertaining any of this, but the visions from my dreams keep mixing with reality, tainting the memory of that night.
“ I didn’t see the driver. But I did do a bit of snooping.” He holds out the stack of papers from the glovebox. Taking it with shaking hands, I have to hold it an inch away from my face to make out the words in the dim light.
A photocopy of the registration info sits clipped to the first page, the owner’s name clear as day and enough to make me suck in a breath.
“I’m truly sorry. I should never have let it come to this.”
I read the name over and over again, unwilling to believe my eyes. It’s too elaborate—why would he go to all this trouble? If he’d wanted to harm me, he could have done so a thousand times. “How is it you know all this?”
“Don’t panic,” he admonishes, and I glance up to find him pulling off his shirt. Before I can protest, he takes a deep breath, and then his wings unfurl in the same manner Liam’s did the other night, with the familiar sound of a parachute.
But unlike Liam’s pitch-black pinions, Vaughn’s wings are soft white, giving off the slightest glow as they catch every speck of light in the forest.
“You’re a…a—” I sputter.
“A guardian.” It’s sad when he says it—not the triumphant and braggadocious tone I’m used to, but a centuries-old weighty acknowledgement.
“He’s been locked out of Heaven, sweetheart. That’s why his wings are dark.” His face is solemn—more so than I would have ever thought possible for someone so whimsical.
“And you?” I take another step toward him. “You’re just here to grant wishes and plant flowers?”
He rolls his eyes, taking a measured step in my direction. “I also smite the Fallen—as well as any other demons I find skittering about.”
Demons? Smiting? This is too much. Liam never said anything about demons.
With one more small step, he closes the distance between us, taking my hand in both of his. “I’m not supposed to reveal myself to humans. But when I realized you and Liam were… together ,” he says the word with dripping abhorrence, “I had to intervene.”
I’m still too stunned to respond, but when he tries to pull me in for a hug, I push him away.
“Wait.” I manage to choke out before I stumble away from him, barely keeping my feet on the damp ground. “This is…”
“I know.” He nods, retracting his wings at once. “None of this is fair. But he’s got so aggressive, I was afraid I wouldn’t have another chance.”
I don’t believe him—how can I? Not that the memory of Liam’s hands all over my body is any aid to my critical thinking.
“Look, I’ve no plans to murder you in the woods today.” He grins, offering me his hand. “I’ll take you back to town if you like, but you can’t pretend this isn’t real. It could get you killed.”
He sounds so sincere—as if the thought of my demise causes him physical pain. Opting not to take his hand, I follow him back to the Mustang with slow feet. What am I supposed to do with this?
“Take me home,” I command the second we get in the car. I should have taken Liam’s warnings more seriously.
“Blair—”
“Now.”
He sighs dramatically, but at least he doesn’t fight me. The drive is much longer on the way back, his sudden desire to follow traffic laws both noticeable and unwelcome.
Are you okay? Lover boy is freaking out. Gia’s text conjures quite the image. All I want is to see him—to look him in the eyes and feel that strange fluttery thing in my chest so I can put this insanity to bed.
“For what it’s worth, you deserve better.” Vaughn is quiet now, his eyes fixed on the road ahead. The trees start to thin as we inch closer to town, sunlight struggling to penetrate thick clouds overhead. By all accounts it’s peaceful, but he sounds on edge.
“You don’t know him.” Not like I do. I don’t care what papers Vaughn can forge . I’ve seen Liam.
“Sweetheart,” he coos, “this is so much bigger than you realize.” His accent was smooth before, but suddenly I find it condescending. “Just because mummy and daddy had a shotgun wedding, and your life’s admittedly a bit messy, doesn’t mean you deserve to be sacrificed.”
My whole body goes rigid. “Who told you that? About the wedding?”
His eyebrows lift, but he doesn’t answer right away, looking me up and down with a strange expression.
The seconds tick by until I can hear the clock in my head, awaiting his answer with bated breath.
“I heard Alicia giggling about it the other day.”
My heart turns to lead, dropping right out of my chest and into my stomach. Only two people in Ash Wood know that story, and I know for a fact Gia didn’t spread it around.
It’s the exact phrase I used when I told him.
