"Let them. They don't know what you've been through. They don't have the first clue about what it is like to grow up without parents or siblings or people who love you for who you are. You've been a victim of some extreme circumstances. Your emotions have been played with and manipulated to suit someone's needs. It's not your fault you are who you are- murderer, monster, whatever they call it."

  His hand came to rest on my chest, right above where my heart was thudding wildly.

  "As long as you find it in you to help someone who is in need of help, you aren't a monster."

  Twenty-six: Plan

  Gabriel

  "You're making a mistake."

  I rolled my eyes as Damen crooned from his seat on the couch, his gigantic legs spread out in front of him, playing Candy Crush on his phone.

  "Can you at least turn off the music?" I shot him an annoyed look, "It's so happy and sweet."

  "Something you'll never be?" he smirked.

  "Shut up!" I went back to scrolling through my phone.

  "You really think she's going to call you?" he asked.

  "You think she won't." I posed it as a statement.

  "Have said it about a hundred times."

  "May as well shut up now."

  He sighed, closing the game, and granting some relief to my ears. I looked up from my phone to see him get up from the couch and plop down on one of the chairs in front of me.

  "What was even the point of it? The whole bumping into her on the street?"

  I stayed quiet.

  "That woman is trained to recognize suspicious assholes. You really think she'll believe that someone from her past coincidentally bumped into her on the street?"

  He made great emphasis on 'coincidentally'.

  "She was laughing. You should've seen her. Beautiful."

  Damen made a gagging sound.

  "How are we going to finish this war if you sit there, waiting for a call, so you can go on a date with the very enemy?"

  "She's not the enemy." I reiterated, "But everyone around her is."

  "Look at me." he suddenly ordered.

  I did. I had no choice. His voice had suddenly changed. The playfulness was gone, making way for a grave tone.

  "We've put in years of hard work to reach here. Done some pretty deranged stuff and killed a whole lot of people. She is counting on us too this through." he said, his dark eyes serious and glinting with danger, "I refuse to let shit hit the fan just because you wanted to play a white knight to a damsel."

  "She's no damsel."

  "Does it look like I give a fuck?" he threw up his hands, "I still don't understand why the fuck you're even doing this. All I can think of is that you're obsessed with her. And in a really bad way."

  "Is obsession ever good?"

  "No," he shook his head, "but yours is worse. You know what, do whatever you want, but do not, do-fucking-not, fuck this up."

  He pushed back the chair, getting up from his seat. I watched him sigh in frustration, first looking at me, then at the ceiling, and then back at me.

  "You know her. You've heard about her. You really think she's going to forgive you after you've killed everyone she loves?"

  I spun my chair away from him, swiping through my phone again.

  "She'll learn. No one around her understands her. No one really loves her. When she realizes that I actually do, that I understand her, I feel for her, she'll forgive me."

  "What about Alistair?"

  "Fuck him."

  Anger flashed through me at the mention of his name. The bastard who'd somehow ended up with everything I could've ever wanted. Money, family, and most importantly- her.

  "She loves him."

  "She doesn't. It's just some childish infatuation. An old crush resurfacing sort of thing."

  "How are you so sure? About everything?" he asked.

  "I just am."

  "And what if she doesn't see it that way?"

  I smiled, looking up at him.

  "I'll have plenty of ways to persuade her."

  Alexandra

  My morning was blissful.

  I woke up in Alistair's embrace, his strong arms wrapped me in a cocoon and my face nestled in his chest.

  "We really should get up," he repeated for the third time.

  I hummed.

  "We need to do something about Raine and we also have a meeting about the Russians."

  "Five more minutes," I mumbled, snuggling further into his body.

  Our moment was suddenly broken when his phone started buzzing on the nightstand. He made a grunt of annoyance, which made me chuckle, before reaching over to take the call.

  "Hey Feroz," he greeted, making me open my eyes, "what's up?"

  I could hear every word of Feroz's reply.

  "Hey, how'd it go last night?"

  "Successful," Alistair replied, "Barkov's dead, and Alex got some information. Tell Jayson to pull all intel on Andrei Sokolov."

  "So, it is the Russians." came the firm reply, "Where is Alexandra, by the way? Her phone's off."

  "She's with me." he replied without a beat, "Got grazed by a bullet but she's fine."

  "Why didn't you two come over to the mansion last night?"

  "We had to improvise when Maxim's girl turned out to be an old orphanage... acquaintance."

  "Orphanage acquaintance?" Feroz asked, and I could hear the smile in his voice.

  "Yeah, she bullied a lot of the kids over there. Not really a favorite."

  "What happened?"

  "Long story short, she wanted out of the abusive, well, I can't say relationship."

  That's when I spoke up.

  "It wasn't a relationship. He was torturing and raping her. I couldn't just leave her like that."

  "Alex? You're there?"

  "Alistair just said I was."

  "Yeah, but I thought he meant you were at his place. Not right there... in the bed with him."

  "Why are we discussing this when we have actual things to worry about?" I quickly asked.

  "Point noted. I'll see you at the mansion in a couple of hours."

  He hung up.

  Alistair exhaled a breath, "That got awkward pretty fast."

  I chuckled, pulling aside the sheets, "Come on, we should get ready now. We still have to decide what to do with Raine."

  "You want me to get a job?"

  I raised my eyebrows at Raine's question, or more specifically, her tone. The surprise.

  "What? You thought I would give you money, a ride, and say 'adios bitch'?"

  "Of course not," she shook her head, "for any actual job I need a resume, experience, and most importantly an ID. I have none."

  "We'll get that for you. Alistair will provide you with great references."

  "I will?" he interjected with a mouth full of Cheerios.

  "Yes, you will." I glanced at him, and then back at Raine, "you're getting another chance to rebuild your life. Take advantage of it. I know I would."

  I could feel Alistair looking at me.

  "What if you got that chance too?" Raine asked me.

  The question wasn't new to me. It was something I'd been asking myself ever since I joined the mafia. What if I got another chance? What if I got the chance to live a normal life? Have a normal job?

  "I would probably shift to some remote town, start a small business and live in a cabin at the edge of it." I finally answered.

  "Wouldn't that be boring?" Alistair asked, and the look in his eyes had become so captivating, that I couldn't look away.

  "I've had enough excitement to last a lifetime. Maybe boring is what I need now."

  "Wouldn't you be lonely?"

  The sudden silence caused Raine to quietly excuse herself from the kitchen and head out. My eyes were still locked with Alistair's, unable to answer his question.

  "Tell me, Alex," he asked, his voice suddenly stern, "when you get this normal life that you so desperately want, am I even in it? Is anyone?"

  I finally averted my eyes, picking up my empty bowl of cereal and moving towards the sink.

  "Unbelievable." I heard him mutter under his breath, "You can leave the bowl. Marilyn will take care of it. I'm going to take a shower."

  I watched him walk out of the kitchen.

  Truth was, whatever plans I had after getting out of this life, I never saw myself sharing it with anyone. I always thought I would live on my own, have a small home, work all day, and sleep at night without the screams of my victims in my ears.

  Yes, that sounds boring as fuck, but for someone who sees blood pretty much every time she closes her eyes, it would be paradise.

  When I walked into his bedroom, Alistair was standing in front of the mirror, putting on his shirt. He didn't look at me, but I knew he was aware of my presence.

  I quietly crossed the floor and went to stand right behind him.

  "I'm sorry-" I started. I didn't even know what I was sorry for.

  "Just don't, okay?" he sighed, "It's my fault. I've been back in your life for only a few weeks now. I shouldn't even be thinking of having a future with you, given the circumstances."

  "It's not about you, Alistair." I said quietly, "I've never thought about-"

  "Exactly!" he cut me off again, looping a wine-colored tie around his neck, "You never think. Look, I understand- wanting to get away from this world, this life, living secluded. Believe me, I would grab at the chance the second it flew past. But that doesn't mean that I would abandon the people who care for me."

  It felt like déjà vu, where only a few weeks ago, Feroz was saying something along the same lines.

  "It's not like I have that many people." I defended myself weakly.

  "Oh yeah? What about me and Feroz, hell even Xavier."

  "Xavier only loves me for my talent."

  "That's not the point, Alex!" he threw up his hands, frustrated, "It's like, you've made up your mind that there is no one in this entire wide world who cares for you, who'll look after you, who'll miss you when you're gone."

  I averted my eyes to the carpet on the floor, focusing on the patterns rather than having the courage to face the truths he was belting out.

  "When in fact, there are."

  When he turned around, he was standing just inches away from me.

  "You only think you want that life, but you don't." he said, "As hard as you may try to convince yourself of that. Spending a decade apart had compelled me to commit to memory everything I knew and remembered about you. And I know the one thing you never wanted was to end up all alone."

  There were a lot of things I wanted to say. But I stayed quiet.

  He checked his watch, sighing loudly before turning around to fix his tie.

  "I asked Marilyn to get you some spare clothes my sisters keep here. I'm sure they won't mind. Change into whatever you want and meet me at the front door. We're gonna be late."

  Drina and Vedika's clothes were somewhat reserved for parties, I noticed. There were dresses and skirts and crop tops, none of which were suitable for a semi-formal day. So, I kept the hoodie I was wearing. No way I parting with that anytime soon. I pulled on a pair of jeans and shoes and brushed my hair into a low ponytail.

  When I walked out of the house, Alistair was already in the car. I quietly got in beside him and strapped myself in.

  The ride was silent. Not a single word was exchanged between us. Although I could sense that both of us had quite a lot to say. The tension was thick and we desperately tried to ignore it.

  "You're right." I finally said. I saw his hands tighten around the steering wheel.

  "I never pictured my future with anybody. But I am never going to apologize for that." I went on, "The last decade has been hard on me too. I've missed you. A lot. But I'd also convinced myself that the rest of my life would be without you."

  "Alex..."

  "I've been left behind by people every step of the way. I've lost more people than you'd think, including you. So, you can't blame me if I want to spend the rest of my life on my own."

  I looked out the window, leaning my head against it.

  "I've found misleading ways to cope with my grief- the cutting and drinking. They help me go to sleep because a sober mind equals nightmares. Not that alcohol makes much of a difference, just numbs the pain, is all."

  Then I turned to him.

  "But you may wanna know this, might make you somewhat, I don't know, relieved. Ever since the night you sang to me in your sleep-induced voice, I haven't needed to use my knives on myself. And the past couple of nights, sleeping in your arms, that's the most peaceful I've felt in a long, long time."

  I watched his lips curl up in a tiny smile.

  "Sitting with your sisters and Penelope in my living room and eating junk and watching romcoms made me realize how much I was in need of female friendships. Feroz and I's bond has always been strong but I understood just how much he's capable of now that he's a don."

  My eyes were cast down when I felt Alistair's fingers clasp around mine on my thigh.

  "This war may be the worst thing to ever happen in my life, but I cannot be more thankful for all the lessons it has already taught me, whether I live to see the end of it or not."

  We pulled into the Vitali premises, the guards saluting me as we passed. Alistair stopped the car right outside the front and finally turned to me when I said my last words.

  "I may have had plans to live all alone, but lately, they have started sounding incomplete."

  Twenty-seven: News

  Alexandra

  "I have news. A whole lot of it." Feroz announced the moment Alistair and I walked into the conference room.

  He was standing by the table with his two most trusted men- Aaron and Jamal, on either side of him. They were looking at a map or a plan of sorts. Alistair and I took our seats and my new boss slid a bunch of pictures towards us.

  "Three bodies have shown up in an alley four blocks from your apartment, Lexi." he explained, "All Russians."

  My eyes scanned over the pictures. It was gory, to say the least. The MO was the definition of an ear-to-ear cut. That too with a serrated knife. The cuts were deep and jagged and the victims' blood had quite literally been drained of their bodies.

  "Do you recognize any of them?"

  "No, not really."

  "Look closely, Alex." he sighed patiently.

  I frowned but did as he asked. It was only when he slid another blurred, CCTV screengrab towards me did the light go on in my head.

  "They'd attacked me. The first time."

  Feroz nodded.

  "Who did this?"

  "We didn't." he assured me, "Unfortunately, we don't know who did it, either."

  The first name that popped into my head was Ozzy. He was there the second time. Maybe he was making up for the first. I also remembered his parting words- 'Your father says hello.'

  "Could it be Ozias?" Alistair asked from beside me, voicing my thoughts.

  "Could be, I'm not sure."

  "Who's Ozias?" Feroz asked, his eyes darting between the two of us.

  "He's some guy who saved her life on two occasions." Alistair explained, "She doesn't know who he is or who sent him, but..."

  "But what?"

  Feroz urgently pressed when Alistair went quiet. I answered for him.

  "The last time I saw him, he said to me- 'Your father says hello.'"

  The shock on Feroz's face was clear. He leaned back, sighing loudly.

  "Do you believe him?"

  "Of course not." I shrugged, lying through my teeth even though I was still debating the revelation, "What other news did you have?"

  I could tell he was still uncertain about Ozzy and his appearances, and he wanted to talk further and find out who he was and who sent him and what his actual intentions were. Nonetheless, he went on. He picked up another file and slid it towards us.

  "Andrei Sokolov," he announced, "is dead."

  "What?"

  "He died about a couple of months ago."

  "How?"

  "No cause of death. He might have accidentally shot himself, for all we know. It's all been kept hush-hush."

  "Who took over?"

  "Some new guy- they're calling him The Shadow."

  "L'ombra." I whispered, "Maxim told me about him. He's very good, apparently. But there is hardly a shred of information out there about him. People can't even tell his ethnicity."

  "He knows about Alex." Alistair spoke up from beside me, "Had been asking about her two years ago."

  There was a sudden silence in the room. It was as if we were all trying to make sense of the situation but none of us could. This was confusing.

  "Who the fuck is it? Why are they doing it?" My questions were left unanswered since none of them had any.

  Aaron's tablet suddenly pinged and he swiped through it.

  "We have a location," he announced.

  "What location?"

  "I tracked down all associated properties of Andrei Sokolov and there is one in particular that has been bustling with activity the past couple of months."

  "It's a safehouse." Feroz continued, "They've been seen going in and out for about a month now. It's a vast ground, the house stands in the middle. The area is pretty secure, Aurora or Ever might be kept captive there."

  "Or Alina," Alistair added, referring to his sister.

  Feroz nodded.

  "I've called for our best team to be put together." Feroz continued, "Grab your Kevlars and your guns, we're lighting this bitch up."

  The armory was filled with loud chatter as everyone got ready for the mission. The snipers, the arms, and the combat teams had been thoroughly filled in on the plan, what they needed to do, what location they needed to be at, and so on.

  As I passed by a group of men, my ears caught their conversation.

  "Did you see the bodies? That rough ear-to-ear cut? You know whose MO that was, right?"

  "Don't be absurd. It can't be him." another replied.

  "Oh, come on, aren't you a little bit curious? I compared the pictures with one of his other victims. The wounds were almost identical."

  "The guy has been underground for almost twenty years. Why would he be showing up now?"

  "Some even say he's dead."

  "Damn, I wish it's him. Wouldn't that be cool?"

 

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