Thrill Me, page 31
From the gathering of over two hundred people to the way they all grieved.
I think I speak for everyone when I say that the way Vincent grieved was something beyond anything anyone could describe.
It made me feel guilty.
It made me feel completely out of place although her death wasn’t my fault.
Guilt just for being Joey Cipriani’s daughter was enough.
It’s the same guilt I feel now as I stand here by Dad’s gravesite at the Cipriani family plot.
Mom is buried in a private cemetery on the other side of town. They were supposed to be buried together. I’ve had to deal with the fact that they’re both dead and that Dad killed Mom.
I had to make the arrangements for him to be buried here, away from her.
Guilt consumes me today because I feel like I’m a traitor too. My father is responsible for the deaths of people I loved and it feels like I shouldn’t be here.
All through the planning of the funeral it felt like I should have no part of it.
The distress I witnessed in Grandma alone, much less the rest of the family when they learned the truth was enough to make me wash my hands of him.
Yet…
I had to bring principle back to the forefront of my mind and remember he was my father.
Greed made him do what he did and he got in too deep. As to whether he tried to get out, I don’t know. I don’t think he wanted to. I don’t think he wanted trouble but I don’t think he cared about anyone besides himself, and me.
That is my assessment of him and I won’t kid myself into thinking that the last time I saw him where he tried to save me was anything in the way of redemption.
It wasn’t.
Not for the man who killed my mother and did so much wrong.
When I told everyone that Dad killed Mom they couldn’t believe it. The knowledge however completed the picture for them and I was just grateful they didn’t hate me.
I didn’t expect anyone to be there for me the way they were when Mom died and I didn’t ask.
Besides they had enough to worry about with Gabe.
Gabe is in a coma.
Gabe has been in a coma for the last three weeks.
He took a bullet in his chest. If he dies I won't know what to do or how to feel. I just pray the next funeral I attend won’t be his.
That is my prayer as I stand here.
I pray Gabe won’t be next.
The funeral has been over for close to an hour but I’m still here just looking.
Gina was the last to leave with my relatives.
I sent her home because I didn’t want to talk.
Gina’s a talker. She believes in talking it out, even small talk.
I can’t do it when I feel like this.
A trickle of water drips onto my knuckles.
Rain…
Of course that’s what’s missing from the day.
It rained when Mom was buried. The sky cracked open and poured from the heavens. I look up at the gray angry clouds above me as it starts to drizzle.
I should go.
I should leave but I can’t quite make myself do it.
Returning my gaze to the freshly laid earth on the grave and the cascade of red roses, I shake my head like I’m shaking my head at him.
Maybe it would hurt less if he was horrible to me.
Maybe it would make me feel better if I hated him. What I hate now is that I still have the love I’ve always felt because he was my father and I’m grieving. I hate that I’m grieving for a man who truthfully was a monster.
“I wish you didn’t do it. I wish you didn't do it Papa. Any of it. I loved you so much. Look at us now,” I say.
I hate crying. It makes me feel weak and I’m anything other than that, but no strength on earth can will the tears away.
But… just like that day so long ago as the tears come warm fingers cover mine.
I never even heard him approach.
Salvatore.
He’s here.
I turn to see him and see he’s not alone.
They came too.
Nick, Julian and Angela, and … Vincent.
Vincent…
When I look to him he tips his head in reverence as do the others. I look to Nick and remember him calling me a Giordano.
No way did I expect this.
Not any of it.
But I know why they’re here.
They’re here for me.
It’s a comfort that’s more than I could ever ask for.
“Thank you…” I whisper looking at each of them.
Salvatore takes me into his arms and holds me as the tears come harder. My soul weeping.
CHAPTER FORTY-EIGHT
Mimi
I stir against soft silky sheets and twist on to my side.
Opening my eyes I see the best thing ever.
Against the view of the Chicago skyline in the basking colors of sunrise, the most gorgeous man I’ve ever seen in my life sits on the wooden chair by the window.
He’s wearing boxers, showing off his tattoos and the work of art he is.
He’s reading the newspaper and I’m looking at him, savoring the moment and the time that we have.
I haven’t left since he brought me back here days ago.
That was after the funeral.
When we’re here we live in our own reality for the few hours we have. We live in a fantasy where we make love every chance we get and talk about that future we were given the chance to have.
When we’re not here we face the worries that are still at hand.
I shuffle to sit up and he looks over at me.
“Morning sleepy head,” he smiles.
“Morning.”
He holds up the paper and shows me the front page.
My eyes widen when I see the headline:
Government Corruption in Illinois
Congressmen Patterson faces years of Imprisonment
for links to international sex and drug trafficking.
It’s all happening way bigger than I imagined.
Nearly a month on and the saga continues.
The same evening of the showdown on the boat, Julian took the files to his people who could make things happen fast.
On the ten o’clock news that night every news channel got word out about Congressman Patterson’s activities and his links to the Fontaines. The minute the Fontaine name was dropped the newspapers ran with the story like wildfire, talking about The Italian Mob and their influence in the city. Government corruption at its finest.
I didn’t care too much for all of that.
What happened after that was a warning from the Giordanos to anyone who belonged to the Fontaines or the Portaleu family to stay the fuck away, or it would mean instant death. No questions asked.
I wrap the sheet around me and make my way over to Salvatore.
When I sit in his lap he hands me the newspaper and I read over the main paragraphs.
Sergio Fontaine is behind bars and six others in the family linked to his business activities. All were found guilty of drugs and illegal sex trafficking. All assets have been seized. The investigation continues…
The Fontaines are a big family and from what’s happened over the last few weeks it looks like they lost everything and are over.
No longer a threat.
I look back to him and he takes the paper away from me.
“We’ve always had to be on the alert with the Fontaines. Always. It’s over, but it doesn’t feel real. Not yet,” Salvatore states.
“It won’t for a while.”
“I guess it’s the same for you too. Have you thought about speaking with your father’s lawyers yet?” he asks.
I sigh and shake my head. Dad left me everything. The total of it all is probably close to two billion in value. That’s what his lawyers want to speak to me about and I don’t want to talk about it because I know Fontaine money is wrapped up in a substantial amount of it.
“Salvatore… it doesn’t feel right to take it.” It doesn’t and it crossed my mind to give it to my money-grabbing relatives in Calabria who’ve also been trying to contact me.
Aunt Francesca couldn’t make it to the funeral because she’s broke, yet I heard from Uncle Franco that she was having a boob job and her lips done. So when she called me to express her sorrow for my father’s passing and in the same breath asked me if I could be considerate of her when the will was finalized I stopped talking to everybody.
“Baby… All money is dirty…” He raises a finger and I smile as he pauses for effect. “Except mine. Mine wasn’t dirty. That three mill came from me working my ass off legit, and straight up from my Rainy Day saving account.”
I can’t believe I’m laughing. He smiles at me when he sees my reaction.
“Babygirl.” He holds my gaze. “Take the money and the empire. It’s the least he could do for you, maybe that’s why he left you everything.”
I look down at his hand holding me to him and climb my gaze back to meet his eyes.
“Okay… I guess we have other things to worry about.” I’ll call them tomorrow.
It’s our turn to see Gabe in the morning at the hospital.
I keep thinking—what if he doesn’t wake up? My mind shifts from remembering him lying on the ground in a pool of blood to how lifeless he looks in the hospital bed.
“Hey…” Salvatore taps the side of my cheek. “We don’t worry when we’re in here remember? That was the agreement.”
I nod. “Yeah I remember.”
“Good because you need to be in a good mood for what I’m about to do next.”
I perk up and smile at him. “Are you making pancakes with that chocolate sauce? I would love that if you are.”
He gets up with me but sets me back down on the chair.
“I can do that, but I have something else I want to do first.”
I watch him curiously as he goes over to the walk in closet and returns with a little pink jewelry box.
It’s salmon pink like the color he painted my office at the restaurant. My favorite color.
“You brought me a present?” I ask.
“Yeah, basically,” he replies and snaps open the little box.
At first I look at the little ring inside and I gasp because I think it’s beautiful, but then it clicks and I realize that it’s an engagement ring.
A princess cut diamond that sparkles so bright it has that after twinkle is set in the center of a delicate gold band.
I look from Salvatore to the ring as he doesn’t just get on one knee, he gets down on both knees and takes my hand.
“Salvatore…” I breathe. It’s the first time in weeks that the tears that threaten to fall aren’t caused by grief.
“So back on the boat, I kind of asked you to marry me. It was probably the worst proposal ever with the bomb about to go off and all.” A lopsided grin fills his face.
“It was beautiful.”
“Well I’m glad you think so since I didn’t have this then. I didn’t want you thinking I was just talking out of my ass. I wanted you to know I meant every word I said, all of it. So I’m doing this part properly.” He nods. “Maria Cipriani, you are my everything. I know I have no right to be selfish and want to keep you with me when so much danger has happened around us, but I feel like as long as I live I can keep you safe. As long as there’s life in me I can keep you safe. That’s what I’m going with. Please be mine. Please be my wife.”
I’m nodding before he can finish. “Yes. Yes always, Salvatore.”
I throw myself into his arms and we fall back onto the floor. He turns me around and takes my hand so he can place the ring on my finger.
It looks good there.
“Maria Giordano,” he says.
“I like it. I love it, ” I tell him as he kisses me. “I love you.”
“I love you too.”
CHAPTER FORTY-NINE
Salvatore
Back to reality….
We’re at the hospital now.
I was just speaking with the doctors to get the update on Gabe.
Mimi is with Charlotte in Gabe’s room.
I walk back into his room and see them.
Charlotte was crying yesterday when we left and she’s crying harder now. It’s times like these when I’m grateful for Mimi. I always say she mother-hen’s the girls at the club but she’s like it all the time. It’s not the fact of being a mother hen. She’s just a good friend.
That’s what my girl is. My wife to be.
Nothing can quite describe how happy she made me this morning when she agreed to be mine forever. It’s something I hold on to for strength now as I look at my brother who is still in a coma.
“I’m going to get her some breakfast,” Mimi says cutting into my thoughts.
“I don’t know if I can eat,” Charlotte answers, shaking her head.
“We’ll just get something light. You need to keep your strength up,” Mimi tells her and gives her a quick hug of comfort.
“Okay…” she agrees.
“We won’t stay away too long,” Mimi promises and glances over to me.
I dip my head in agreement and she ushers Charlotte out.
I sit in the little chair by Gabe’s bedside and look at him. He’s attached to tubes and monitors. His vitals look stable but he looks so weak compared to the person I know him to be.
He’s just lying there, but for the subtle rise and fall of his chest he’d almost appear lifeless with his still form and pale skin.
The guys should be here soon. Nick and Vincent.
My parents will be here later today if there are no changes.
We’ve fallen into this routine so we each get to stay with him for a few hours at a time and he doesn't get overwhelmed with too many people around him at once.
The doctors said he can hear us when we talk and is probably trying to wake up but can’t just yet.
It’s that just yet part that I hang on to because it gives me hope.
It still doesn’t feel quite real to me that he’s lying in this bed.
I look at him and I think back to months ago when we had that fight. I was so
angry at him. So angry it made me forget what he meant to me.
Fear fills me now as I watch him fight for his life.
I want so badly for him to wake up.
“Gabe… I need you to come back to us,” I say to him. “I don’t like this. You’re worrying the hell out of me. I need you to come back, please. You have a kid on the way and a wife who needs you. But I… need you too.”
The door pushes open and Nick and Vincent come in.
They look from me to Gabe and the same caution that I see in their faces fills them.
“Hey,” I greet them and they both acknowledge me.
“Anything change?” Vincent asks.
I shake my head. “All the same. The staff said everything was the same too last night. No change at all,” I reply.
The only thing I’m glad for is that he’s not on life support. He can breathe on his own and he seems functional, he’s just in a coma. But, life support is the next thing if he doesn’t pull through soon.
I don’t even like that word. The last person I knew of on life support was Nick’s best friend Tommy and he didn’t make it.
The three of us look on at Gabe, not knowing what to say.
I glance at Nick as he sighs and runs a hand through his hair.
We’re all taking this hard but each of us is going through it a little different to the other. The same way we’re close in different ways.
“I…” Nick begins. “I remember when I was fifteen and I took Gabe’s car and crashed it in the river near the Peterson manor.”
Vincent looks at him and frowns. We all remember that because it was one of the many times when Nick nearly died.
“Nick, you didn’t take his car, you stole it,” Vincent corrects him and gives him a hard stare.
“God, fine I stole his car, then…” Nick frowns and continues and I just look at him. “I crashed the car in the river and Frankie had to come after me and save me because the door was jammed. I don’t know how you all got there so fast but that would have been me gone. Gabe beat the shit out of me when Frankie pulled me from the river.”
“It served you right,” I smirk. I got two black eyes trying to get Gabe off Nick and Vincent got his arm broken.
Nick chuckles. “Gabe was mad as all hell at me, and I couldn’t believe he lost it like that. Then it hit me … it wasn’t because I stole his car. That rage was never about the car. He didn’t give a shit about the car. He beat me up because of what could have happened to me. I scared the shit out of him and I nearly died. He’s my … he’s the guy who keeps me alive. All of you have, but him… he’s a big reason why I’m standing here today.”
In all the time I’ve known Nick I’ve never heard him speak such words, never.
Maybe it’s the magic in them that shifts the tides and opens the door for what happens next.
I have to stand when I see Gabe move his hand because I think I’ve imagined it.
Of course I would think that because I’ve been hoping for a miracle to happen since he got here.
When Gabe opens his eyes and looks at Nick my whole being sighs with relief.
“Nick?" Gabe says and looks around.
“Jesus Christ Gabe!” Nick shrieks practically jumping on the bed. “I’m gonna go get the doctors.” He goes through the door and Vincent moves closer.
“Gabe we’re all here bro,” Vincent tells him.
Gabe looks over to me. I’m so choked up I can’t talk.
“My wife…” he says blinking.
“She’s okay,” I say quickly but then he lifts himself like he’s going to get up.
“Mimi,” he breathes. “I went to get her. The guards saw Marc Fontaine on the cameras heading to her room.”
I place my hand on him and tap his shoulder. “She’s okay, Gabe. She's safe.
“Everyone made it, and they're okay,” Vincent assures him. “It’s over. It’s all
over.”
It is over now, it feels like it is.
This is the last part.
