After We Met, page 14
Tony pushes a cup of coffee my way. “Talk.”
By the time I’m done telling him the whole story and playing him the voicemail I feel like I need another drink.
“Fuck, man. I love you, you know that, but you’ve fucked up. How do you plan on fixing this?”
I shake my head. “I don’t know. Every instinct I have is telling me to go after her, but Molly said I should wait because no matter what I say to her right now Lani is not going to listen.”
“Molly’s right, man. You need to give her a little bit of space and then you fucking fight for her and for Sophie.” He grabs his phone out of his pocket. “I’ll order us some dinner.”
“Thanks, brother.” Tony claps me on the shoulder and disappears outside.
I pick up my phone and first I delete that message and then I start scrolling through pictures from the past two weeks. My heart aches as I look at each and every one. Every picture of Sophie hits me right in the gut. Her smiling face could make the meanest bastard smile.
There are several selfies of Sophie, Lani and me and we all look so happy. I keep swiping through them and smile when I find the one of Sophie and Molly snuggled up together on the couch. I have tons of pictures of the three girls all wearing their Mickey Mouse ears. Fuck, I miss them already.
My text alert goes off and I see it’s from Molly.
Molly: We’re at the hotel by the airport. I just wanted you to know.
I shoot off a quick text. Damon: Is Lani okay? Sophie? You?
The dots start bouncing then stop, then start bouncing again.
Molly: How do you think we are? Lani can’t stop crying so Soph and I went for a walk so she could try to get herself together. I love you, but I’m so mad at you right now.
I don’t even know what to say right now except my heart hurts and I’m a horrible fucking human being.
I get another text from Molly and it’s a video clip. Sophie’s beautiful face appears on my phone and in the background, I can hear Molly tell her to say hi to me. “Hi Daddy! I miss you, I wub you!” She waves wildly and blows me a kiss.
The video stops and I save it to my phone. I set my phone down and drink my coffee down. I’m going to make this right, I need my girls and I won’t give up until they’re finally back where they belong…with me. The only question is how do I get Lani to forgive me?
Lani
My alarm goes off and I quickly shut it off before it wakes up Sophie. Between the two of us, I don’t know who the bigger crab is. I feel bad for my mom because she’s been the one to take the brunt of it since we got home a week ago.
I didn’t want to tell her what happened but the moment I saw my mom I started to cry. Molly joined us with Sophie and she told my mom about the voicemail I found. I then agreed with her story, telling Mom that Molly got us safely to a hotel by the airport and helped me with Sophie.
Mom didn’t say anything about it and still, a week later, hasn’t mentioned it or him. Every night Sophie asks for her daddy and hugs her baby to her chest. We didn’t bring it on our trip only because I didn’t want to lose it or have it broken. Once she goes to sleep I lay in my bed and cry.
The day I heard the voicemail I’d been listening to it for the third time when Molly came down. She asked me what I was doing and I played it for her. I began to cry when it really sank in that he knew I was pregnant and stayed away.
Fuck, it makes me cry right now. While we struggled to make ends meet, while I ate very little so my daughter could have more, Damon was living his best life with no thoughts of me or the child we created.
What hurt the most was that he claimed to love me and spoiled us for two weeks, and it was all just his guilt talking. I’ve checked my phone hundreds of times and I’ve heard nothing from him, and neither has Molly.
I stop thinking about him and climb out of bed. I grab the dress, bra, panty set, and shoes that I plan on wearing to school today, laying them on my bed. In the bathroom, I look at myself in the mirror.
My tan is still golden brown, but it doesn’t hide the bags under my eyes. I’m just sad and when I lie down at night, I think about him and then I can’t fall asleep. I brush my hair and then put it up in a knot. In the shower, I quickly wash and shave. After I finish I climb out and dry off.
I moisturize my face and then my body. Back in my bedroom I throw on my bra and panty set and head back into the bathroom to put a little cover-up on to hide the bags under my eyes or at least disguise them. I let my hair down and quickly braid it so it hangs over my shoulder. While I put on the lime green knee-length shift dress, I watch the steady rise and fall of my daughter’s chest.
Once I’m ready, I head out into the kitchen to make my lunch. I find it already done and smile, knowing it was my mom who packed it for me. I pull it out of the fridge and set it on the counter. When I open it I pull out the Post-it note stuck to the top of my salad bowl. In my mom’s pretty scrawl it says, your strength inspires me.
I hug it tight to my chest. I place it back in there and see she diced up some chicken for my salad and a fruit punch Capri Sun, my favorite. My mom is off today and she wanted to keep Sophie home with her. I know it was hard for her when we were gone especially with the condition we were both in when we got home.
After setting my bags by the front door I go check on Sophie who is sitting up in her crib, hugging, and talking to her baby. She looks up at me. “Hi Momma.”
“Good morning, baby.” I pick her up out of her crib and kiss her lips. “Did you sleep well?” She nods and rests her head on my shoulder. “Should we see if GaGa is up?”
It looks like Mom is up because I can hear her in the bathroom. I take Sophie into the kitchen and am pouring her some cereal when the doorbell rings.
I can hear my mom open the door. “Good morning, honey. Come on in.”
Molly appears in the doorway and Sophie runs right to her sister who is more than happy to pick her up. They exchange kisses and then Molly sets her down. “What are you doing here?” I smile at her because she’s been doing this a lot, dropping by to visit.
“I got ready early today and thought I’d come give you a ride. Maybe stop and get a coffee beforehand.”
“That’s a great idea,” Mom says as she comes into the kitchen.
I kiss them goodbye and follow Molly out to her car. “How was your date with Colton?” They had a date this past weekend and by the way she’s blushing, I’m thinking it went well.
She smiles at me. “It went really, really well. I stayed over at his place. He’s coming over for dinner tonight.” Molly surprises me by grabbing my hand. “You’re still not sleeping?”
I try to keep it light, but inside I’m dying. “Did the bags give it away?”
“He hasn’t called you?” I shake my head. “I haven’t talked to him either.” I hate that this has affected Molly’s relationship with Damon.
She pulls into the parking lot of Starbucks and I spot Andi’s car across the lot. “Did you do this?”
I look at Molly and she shrugs. “I thought you could use some girl talk before school.”
Since we’ve been back the three of us usually have lunch together in my classroom. We head inside and Andi’s standing by the door. She pulls me into a hug when I reach her. “Dante says he’s still available to go to Florida and kick Damon’s ass if you want.” She looks at Molly. “Sorry.”
Molly shakes her head. “Don’t be sorry. I may pay for his plane ticket.”
They laugh and I try to, but my eyes burn just thinking about him. I suck it back and step up to the counter ordering the cheapest drink on the menu. Once we all have our drinks in hand, we grab a seat at a table by the door.
They both keep the conversation light and neither mentions Damon. Of course no one needs to mention him because I think about him constantly. I miss him so much I ache, but we’re over, over in a way that I don’t ever think I can forgive him for…ever. The real kicker is he hasn’t even tried to reach out to find out how Sophie was doing, which proves my point that the whole time we were there was just to stave off his guilt.
“What do you think, Lani?” I turn to Andi and have no clue what they were just talking about. “Cookout at my place this weekend? This is the last nice weekend we’re probably going to have before it starts getting colder.”
“Yeah, that sounds great. Just let me know what to bring.”
We finish our drinks and head toward the school. By the time we get there, I have enough time to throw my stuff in my classroom and head outside.
My day goes fast and by the time I get home, I’m ready for a nap. Mom left me a note that she and Sophie were at the library for story hour so I strip out of my dress and throw on black leggings and a blue long-sleeved t-shirt. I climb into bed and immediately fall asleep.
With Sophie’s hand in mine, we make our way around Andi and Dante’s house and reach the back gate. I let go of her to open it and as soon as it is she goes tearing through it, making a beeline right for her human jungle gym, Dante. The man is a giant teddy bear who hears my daughter holler his name, turns around, and scoops her up.
He smiles as I approach while he holds my daughter by her ankles upside down. “Hey Dante.” Leaning down when I reach them I kiss his cheek. “Is Andi inside?”
“Yeah, doll. Head on in. This munchkin and I are going to find my monsters.”
I step inside their beautiful ranch style home and find Andi in the kitchen putting food on platters. “Hey girl,” I say as I drop my backpack by the sliding patio doors.
“I’m so glad you’re here.” She comes toward me and we share a quick hug and kiss on the cheek. “Did Dante steal Soph?” Her hubby has been trying to convince her to have one more baby, but she keeps telling him no so when my daughter is there he’s always got her.
“You know it. Where are your kiddos? I didn’t see them out back.”
“They’re down at the park with Dante’s sister. I’m sure he took Sophie down there to play.”
I quickly wash my hands and begin helping her put the trays together and start making hamburger patties. By the time the kids are back, they’re blowing bubbles in the backyard. Dante’s sister joins us, giving me a squeeze before grabbing the fruit and cutting it up.
Molly shows up a while later with Colton and they’re an even better looking couple in person. I watch from the window as Sophie runs to her big sister. They give each other love and then Molly introduces Sophie to Colton.
My daughter has never met a stranger and reaches for Colton who gladly takes my girl in his arms. I’m dying to know what they’re talking about so I head outside. “Hey Mol.” I wave as I approach. We exchange a quick hug. “Have you spoken to him?” I whisper in her ear. When I pull back, she shakes her head and it makes me fucking sad.
I shake it off and paste on a fake smile. “You must be Colton. I’m Lani, this little stinker’s mom.”
He holds out his hand and I take it. “It’s nice to meet you, Lani. Your daughter is adorable.”
I thank him and then take them around introducing them to everyone. It was nice again to have Molly be a part of my world, but she also reminds me of Damon. Even though I am still so mad and hurt, I miss him so much. It hurts that he’s forgotten all about our daughter.
Every night when I tuck her in she asks for her daddy and I never know what to tell her. Dante hollers that food is ready, pulling me from my thoughts. Sophie is smitten with Colton and he carries her toward the food.
I wrap my arm around Molly’s waist. “He’s really great.” We both watch him hand Sophie a potato chip. “Two sisters having the hots for the same man,” I tease.
“How can I compete with all the cuteness that is Sophie?” She grabs my hand. “I really like him and I feel bad because of what you’re dealing with.”
I shake my head. “No, don’t feel bad. I’m happy for you. I promise.”
Everyone gathers around the tables that they have set up. Sophie sits with the other kids and munches on her hot dog. I pick at my pasta salad and my fruit. My mind keeps going to Damon and it's putting me in a funk. Hiding most of my uneaten food under a napkin I get up to throw my plate away and then go sit with the kids.
Sophie tries to feed me pieces of her watermelon and claps when I take a bite. “Thank you, baby.”
After dinner, the kids all throw their suits on and play in the sprinkler that they set up. I smile while my baby girl squeals with joy as she leans over the sprinkler letting the water drench her. The kids play and we adults sit around, shooting the shit.
Honestly, I’m barely paying attention, my mind on my daughter, and her father. The hairs on the back of my neck stand up and my daughter suddenly screams. “Daddy.” I freeze before flying out of my chair. In what feels like slow motion I watch my daughter take off running as fast as her little legs can carry her.
Damon comes around the side of the house with my mom and Tony in tow. I watch him squat down and Sophie hits him full force. He hugs her so tight I’m scared he’s going to hurt her, but she just hugs him back.
Everyone stands, looking between Damon and me. My feet move but not toward him. I bolt into the house and down the hall to the bathroom. Locking myself inside, I shut the toilet lid and sit down just before bursting into tears.
I hear a soft knock on the door. “Lani baby, open the door.” Only because it’s my mom, do I open the door. She steps inside, shutting us in, and pulls me into her arms.
I cry into her neck as she quietly shushes me and rocks me back and forth. When my tears finally stop she pulls back. “Oh honey.” Mom grabs some tissue and starts wiping my face like when I was a little girl. “Damon called me a lot until I heard him out and he pled his case. He showed up at the house. We talked—well at first I yelled and he listened. Then I listened and baby you should really give him a chance to talk to you.”
“Why? He knew I was pregnant and he didn’t care.” My voice cracks. “He’s her dad, but I’m not going to let him hurt me again.”
“Just talk to him, okay?”
I nod.
“Come out when you’re ready.” Mom kisses my forehead and then leaves me alone. I splash some cold water on my face and then dry it with a towel. After taking some deep breaths I open the door and step out into the hall, finding it empty.
From the sliding door, I peer into the backyard. Some of the kids are still playing. Damon still has Sophie in his arms and stands off to the side with Molly and Colton. Andi spots me and opens the door. “Dante will send him away if you want. Just say the word and he’s gone, okay?”
“Mom says I should talk to him. Should I?”
“I love you, but you know I can’t answer that for you. No matter what you decide I’ll support you, always.”
I wrap my arms around her, hugging her tight. “Thank you.” She smiles at me before heading back outside. I take a deep breath, square my shoulders, and step outside.
Damon
My heart pounds in my chest so hard that I swear everyone can hear it. The only thing keeping me grounded is having my daughter in my arms. I’ve missed her so much, I’ve missed Molly, and I’ve missed Lani.
I know it has been two weeks since I’ve seen or talked to them, but shame kept me silent and away from them. I was a stupid man who, in some fucked up part of my brain thought I was doing the right thing for everyone by staying away until I came up with a solid plan to win them back.
Molly had been right and I felt terrible that I tried to put that all on her instead of me where it belonged. The first few days after they left were spent in and out of alcohol-induced hazes with Tony playing babysitter.
Every day Tony asked me what I was going to do and every day I’d tell him that I had no clue. How was I supposed to prove to her that I love her so fucking much and that I want us to be a family—that I’ll live with the regret of not calling Lani after I got her message for the rest of my life?
I focus back on the weight of my daughter in my arms as I watch Lani walk toward me. I just want to pull her into my arms and never let go. Instead, I wait for her to reach me.
Lani’s mom takes Sophie from me and she and Tony walk away with Molly and her boyfriend.
“What are you doing here?” Her voice is flat and she looks so sad and I hate that I’m the cause.
“Can we go somewhere and talk?”
She crosses her arms over her chest. “I don’t know Damon. Is there really anything to say?”
I step toward Lani. “Please baby. Give me a chance and after you hear what I have to say, you still want me to leave after that, I will.”
I wait on pins and needles for her answer and my heart still beats wildly in my chest. In my head, I will her to say yes, over and over.
“What about Sophie and my mom?”
“I have a rental and you can leave your car with your mom. Tony will make sure they get home.” I can’t hide the hope in my voice.
Lani sighs. “Okay. Let me go tell my mom the plan.” I watch her go talk to her mom and then say her goodbyes to everyone else. When she comes back to me we walk side by side to my car. My fingers itch to touch her, but I think if I tried that right now it would probably piss her off.
I open the door for her and she climbs in. Making my way around the front end I do the same and then we’re off. I was going to take her back to our hotel, but her mom thought I should bring her back to their house. That Lani would feel better on her own turf. I’d been thrilled when I talked to Lisa that she heard me out and then agreed to help me.
The day I called her it took a half-hour just to convince her not to hang up on me, but then it took a very long phone call to convince her that I loved her daughter and wanted a future with her and our daughter.
When Tony and I got to town this morning we both took naps and showers before we made our way over to Lani and Lisa’s. She appeared in the doorway when we pulled into the driveway and I swear Tony immediately started drooling. “You didn’t tell me her mom was gorgeous.”
