Lady Avely's Guide to Guile and Peril, page 21
part #3 of Matronly Misadventures Series
Judith almost rolled her eyes. She was the one who had taught Perry that, back in London, soon after he discovered his Gift. “Yes, my dear,” she said. “But it’s too dangerous. We need some other contingency. Otherwise, I’ll have heart failure, if you leave me behind again. How about I go, with the ring, and fetch Wooten myself.”
“Mother!” said Perry. “You can’t drag me out here and then make me sit in an armchair. Besides, how will you get back? That ring Travels one way only, from what you told me.”
Judith wanted to gnash her teeth. “I can’t let you die at the end of a gun!”
There was a taut silence. Miss Onslow looked from one to the other, eyes wide.
Robert spoke up, his voice gruff. “I could disguise Peregrine as a soldier. It might confound them enough to give him a moment to escape.”
Judith turned, hope sparking in her heart. “That might work. They won’t shoot someone in their own uniform.”
Perry raised his brows at Robert. “Oh, and you have a spare uniform, do you?”
“No,” said Robert, expressionless. “I’m an Illusor.”
Perry’s eyes lit up. “Oh, brilliant. Can you do me a red coat then?”
Robert shrugged. “I can try.” He got up and stood in the middle of the room. After a moment of staring at Perry, he closed his eyes. When he opened them next, Perry’s disreputable coat vanished under a veneer of jolly red, with round brass buttons and white cross-belts. His loose pantaloons neatened, becoming tighter and (it must be said) cleaner, and his boots lengthened and blackened.
Miss Onslow gasped again. Perry looked down at himself, then strode to the window, pulling the curtain open so he could examine his reflection in the dark glass.
“Very smart.” He admired his buttons, then glanced over at Robert. “Does that mean you’ll have to come with me?”
“Not if I do it in a charm,” said Robert. “But that will take a while to set. I gather you have to go back soon for Wooten?”
“Miss Belfleur said ten minutes.”
Robert grimaced. “Not enough time.”
“I’ll go then,” said Judith. “I don’t need a uniform.”
“Mother, you can’t return,” said Perry patiently, “Robert can come with me.” He turned to Robert again. “You can make a coat for yourself, can’t you? Two soldiers are better than one. Then they really won’t know what to do with us.”
Judith’s mouth fell open in horror. “Certainly not! Robert, I don’t want both of you going in there, for God’s sake!”
Robert gave her an inscrutable look. “If Peregrine takes too long, Miss Belfleur and Wooten might be seen. Especially if Wooten is behaving erratically. Then the whole game might be up.”
“Oh yes,” agreed Perry. “They might torture Miss Belfleur for information. Can’t have that.”
Marigold gave an involuntary squeak of protest.
Judith squeezed her eyes shut. “Curse it. Perry, why did I ever allow you to become involved?”
“I don’t know,” he said cheerfully. “Because you had no other choice, I imagine. Now, Robert, let’s dress ourselves up. Officers Avely and Avely!”
Miss Onslow’s eyes moved from one boy to the other, but she wisely did not say anything about Robert’s last name being Steer. A stain came onto Robert’s cheeks, but he also kept quiet. Instead, he focused on conjuring the uniforms, casting both of them into a semblance of military order.
Perry straightened his shoulders as he looked down at himself. “I always wanted to be a navy man, myself. But this is good for a lark. Wait ’til I tell Elinor. She’s going to be so vexed to be missing out on the fun!” He paused moodily. “Except I’ve a good mind not to tell her anything.”
Judith examined them both critically. “Well done, Robert. You should both pass muster in a crisis.” She paused. “But not a literal muster! Don’t attempt to pass yourselves off as part of the garrison and go marching round the fort.”
Perry puffed out his chest. “I don’t know. Maybe we could just stride down to the prison cell and demand the duke’s release.”
Marigold rolled her eyes. “Anyone looking at you for more than ten seconds will fall over in a fit. Especially Wooten. Your hair is atrocious, and neither of you have proper military bearing.”
Perry pulled his chin in sharply. “Fine.” He glowered at Marigold. “Luckily, all I need is two seconds to fetch us out of there.”
Marigold sniffed. “Take me with you, so I can find Wooten.”
Perry’s posture drooped again. “Dash it, do I have to? I’m always ferrying bats around.”
“You might need me.” Marigold folded her arms.
“Fine,” said Perry ungraciously. “Hop aboard. At least I’m not herding sheep this time.”
Judith raised her brows at this cryptic remark, but Marigold tossed her lavender kerchief aside and became a bat, swooping over to Perry. He winced as she landed on his shoulder, then he glanced at the clock.
“I think it’s time,” he announced. “Wooten awaits. Hold on to my ear, Miss Cultor.”
Judith sighed. “Be careful, please. All of you. And be quick.”
“Yes, Mother.” Perry jerked his head at Robert. “Come here, cousin. We need to have a bit of a cuddle while I Travel us in.”
Slowly, Robert walked over, his face a picture of reluctance. A slightly hysterical laugh burbled up inside Judith’s chest, but she swallowed it. Poor Robert, being forced to embrace his half-brother, when he was so determined to hold him at a distance.
Sanguine and oblivious, Perry held out his arms. Robert shuffled into them and stood stiffly while Perry clasped him round the middle, grinning at his mother.
“See you soon,” he said, and they vanished.
There was a stark, empty silence in the drawing room.
“Damnation,” said Judith, with great feeling. She found that she was now careless of any gently bred ears. “Hellfire and devil’s testicles!”
Miss Onslow’s eyes almost popped out of her head. She cleared her throat. “I’m…sure they will be fine.”
“You don’t know my son,” snapped Judith. “Even in your five minutes’ acquaintance with him, you must see that he is reckless and stupid. I say that as a loving mother.” She began to pace again, swishing her skirts furiously. “And he’s taken Robert and Marigold with him.”
“They will provide a sensible influence,” Miss Onslow suggested cautiously, though she did not deny the maternal charges. “They will simply pop in and out. I think it is all rather exciting! They’ll be back soon, I’m certain of it.”
In which a letter is received
Words on a page can be full of guile. And they are impervious to Truth Discernment.
— from Lady Avely’s Guide to Guile and Peril
They were indeed back soon. Only five minutes later—thank God—Perry and Robert appeared once more by the window, stumbling apart. The red coats vanished, showing their rumpled clothes beneath. Robert’s face was startled, Perry’s triumphant.
Perry thrust out his hand, uncurling his fingers. In his palm was the crumpled form of a brown bat. Wooten blinked blearily up at them.
Judith sank down on the settee closest to the fire and spread her skirts out, gesturing for Perry to lay Wooten down upon them. As he did so, she tenderly laid Marigold’s lavender silk over the top of the furry body.
“Wooten Willoughby!” said Judith. “My dear bat, are you all right?”
Wooten’s eyes bulged at her.
“Do you remember me?” she added anxiously. “It’s Judith. Lady Judith Avely.”
Under the handkerchief, Wooten transformed, his bat head becoming human and protruding from the top. Black locks tangled around his long face, and his dark eyes were shadowed. His usually swarthy skin had a sickly undertone to it.
“Lady Avely,” he said dreamily. “I think I do, indeed, recall…”
Then he did something truly shocking. He cast the kerchief aside, stood up, and bowed to her, stark naked.
Judith drew a horrified breath. This was not the Wooten she knew. Hastily, she grabbed the silk again and draped it over his shoulders. “There, there. I apologise that we do not have your cape handy.”
“What cape?” said Wooten. “I do not need a cape.”
“Sunbeams!” uttered Marigold.
Wooten turned to look down his nose at Marigold. This he managed even though she was on the mantlepiece above him, so at least some of his character remained. “And who are you? I do not believe I have the pleasure of your acquaintance.”
“Um. I’m Miss Marigold Cultor.” She dropped a curtsy, also naked, and Judith momentarily closed her eyes in mortification.
“Good God.” Perry was aghast. “Mother, who are these vampiri? They’re worse than the French.”
“The French?” snapped Marigold, offended. “Are you comparing me to Yvette? I might abhor clothes, but at least I don’t tell bald-faced lies.”
Perry’s brow furrowed. “I would have thought my mother would have instilled better manners in you both by now.”
Wooten tossed the kerchief off and strolled off Judith’s leg. “I hardly think she can instill manners in me if I don’t know her.”
“You do know me,” Judith put a hand to her head. “I am a friend of the duke, who is your blood companion. And, may I say, you are ordinarily better dressed than this.”
“Ah, this duke!” said Wooten, ignoring her reproof. “Miss Belfleur also chattered endlessly about him. Apparently, I saved his life, or his mind? Hard to believe when I don’t even know the fellow.” Suddenly he sat down at the end of the settee. “Oh, my head hurts.” He clutched at it and groaned. Perry, nearby, hastily thrust his own handkerchief to cover the vampiri’s lap, a garish red one that looked as if it had been borrowed from a sailor. Wooten did not even blink at it.
Marigold leaned forward, concerned. “When was the last time you fed?”
“I’m not sure.” Wooten moaned again. “Miss Belfleur suggested I must feed from the duke, which I scarcely thought proper, and then she proffered a cow instead, which was hardly much better.”
Marigold snorted a laugh. “I hope you told the duke he was no better than a cow.” Then her expression sobered, and she glanced at Judith. “Wooten needs Musor blood. Then he might return to his usual insufferable self.”
Judith nodded and began rolling up her sleeves. “Do you mind if I…?” Then she stopped herself and turned to Perry. “Perry, be a good boy now, and feed Wooten.”
“Uh huh.” Perry crossed his arms. “I’ve been feeding half the roost, back on the Crescent. I’ve got nothing left to give.” At her shocked expression, he added, “Fine, not half. A few. And I’ll need to do so again when I return.”
Judith’s gaze shifted. “Robert? How about you?”
Robert had been standing behind Perry, looking rather betwattled himself. At this, he shook himself and asked, “Is it good etiquette? To feed a duke’s companion? Won’t I bond with him?”
“Perhaps a little,” allowed Judith, “but we are long past considerations of etiquette now.”
“Excuse me,” said Wooten grumpily. “Are you going to ask for my opinion on the matter? I think I’d rather a cow.”
Marigold snorted again, and Robert tried to look offended, but instead just looked relieved.
Perry let out a crack of laughter. “Well, there’s plenty of cows on Lanyon Isle, aren’t there, Mother?”
“Yes, but Wooten needs Musor blood, not bovine blood!”
Miss Onslow had been watching proceedings, agog. Now she spoke up, her voice firm. “May I offer myself? If that is not too forward of me?”
Judith turned to her in relief. “What a splendid idea. Wooten, surely you can bring yourself to bond with this lovely young lady, temporarily…?”
Wooten gave Miss Onslow a considering look. Everyone waited with bated breath for his judgment. Marigold held up a hand to forestall it. “For the love of God, don’t say that you’d prefer a cow, Wooten.”
Wooten sniffed, but appeared to concede the point, for he nodded. “Very well. She will do.”
“Miss Onslow will more than suffice with her gracious offer,” Judith corrected him hastily. “Thank you, Miss Onslow, that is very kind. Would you rather take him to a more private spot? Marigold can accompany you and give you some guidance on how the transaction is managed.”
“Yes, of course.” Miss Onslow stood up. “I’ll take him up to my room and see if I can make him a little nest.”
“An excellent idea.”
With no small measure of gratitude, Judith watched as Miss Onslow gathered up Wooten in the handkerchief and bore him from the room, with Marigold flapping reluctantly after them.
“Phew.” Perry leaned on the mantlepiece. “Thought you were going to foist him onto me.” Then he pushed himself off again and felt inside his coat. “Oh! I almost forgot! Miss Belfleur gave me a letter for you, Mother. It’s from the duke.”
“What?!” Judith leapt to her feet. “Give it to me at once, you dreadful boy!”
Perry held out a neatly rolled foolscap. She snatched it from him and hastily spread it out. It was crossed with a bold scrawl and signed with Dacian’s name at the end.
Heart in her mouth, she read it. The opening address made her shoulders droop with relief, but by the time she reached the end, she was blinking back tears and gritting her teeth.
Dear Judith,
Of course I remember you. I’m unlikely to forget someone seared on my memory at the age of twenty-two, when you condescended to dance with me at the Plunnow ball. I remember how you arched your brows at the effrontery of a duke who dared to approach you. You will say that I condescended to dance with you, but you know very well it was the other way around.
You must know by now that you have never been long out of my heart since then. Even abroad, even after what I thought had happened, I could not help but wish for your company again, and to lay my heart at your feet.
But, Judith, that does not mean I want you to rescue me now. Please, I beg of you, do not entertain any foolish plans to somehow breach the walls of this fort. I do not want you locked up in here with me. Or I would like that very much—to have you alone with me, here—but we would not be alone, and the stone benches are not very comfortable. I’d much rather wait until we have a castle at our disposal, then I may treat you properly as the circumstances require.
In the meantime, I will find a way out of here myself, so please do not risk your own neck, or any further allegations of treason. I will come to Lanyon Castle when I can, after I have done what I must, for this grimly determined captain. And I have an unexpected ally, who might yet lend me further help.
It is true, perhaps, that I owe the Crown a recompense for the wrong I have committed. I would think that you’d be the first to say that my station does not excuse me; indeed it condemns me further. And the captain has offered me a bargain: he will not tamper with my mind anymore if I will do this one thing for him, as much as I abhor it.
It will be like killing an eagle with a rock, but the captain seems convinced that it is necessary, and he is better informed than I.
You shall just have to wait, my dear. I know we have waited long enough—God, don’t I know it—but what is one more month after all these years?
Judith, if—when—I return, please marry me. Please forgive all my stupid mistakes and accept my hand, for I am already entirely yours.
I must only add that I am worried for Wooten. He is not himself. If you do visit Pendennis again, please convince him to go home with you. Yvette has custody of him to keep him safe, and they sleep in the barracks, but he remains rather confused.
Judith, my love, I may not see you again I will see you again, I swear it. I will return as soon as I possibly can. Please guard your own safety in the meanwhile, while I am unable to do it for you.
Yours, always,
Dacian.
Her heart seemed to be suspended within her. Marry him? She had not even considered the possibility, despite all her longing for him. How could he ask it of her now? And there was the rest of the missive, which quite undermined his declaration.
“Guard my safety?” she stuttered. “What about his safety? Does he really think I’m going to knit in a corner while he sails off to his death? I don’t think so.”
There was a silence. She looked up, belatedly remembering that she had an audience.
Robert shifted uncomfortably. Perry stared at her, open-mouthed.
“Good God, Mother, what’s come over you? How well do you know this duke, exactly?”
Robert coughed.
Judith glared. “I have known him for years and years,” she said sharply. “He was a good friend of your father’s.”
“Oh, was he?” Perry looked doubtful. “Isn’t the Duke of Sargen a dreadful rake? Always seducing ladies and fighting duels? He doesn’t seem like Father’s sort of man.”
Robert raised a brow.
“Your father knew him as a boy,” replied Judith stiffly.
“But I’ve never even heard you speak of his grace before.”
Judith lowered her gaze to the blue rug. She couldn’t really tell Perry that Dacian had broken her heart, twice. She couldn’t announce that she might have married Dacian instead of Perry’s own father, and that the duke had just made her an offer of marriage. She couldn’t say that if Dacian died in Austria, she would sink into a black despair and possibly never emerge from it ever again.
“He needs our help.” She looked up. “Even if he doesn’t want it.” She shook the letter angrily. “The foolish man thinks he should do as Drumpellier directs.”
Robert frowned. “He wants to go to Austria to assassinate Bonaparte?”
She nodded, unable to voice it.
Robert drew a breath, opened his mouth to speak, then thought the better of it and closed his lips.
Perry glanced at him, and said, “But Mother, if he wants to serve England in the war, you can’t stop him.”
