Anyone But Me, page 12
“Perfect. That was my goal.” Jax stepped to the side so I could walk in. “So, what do you need from me?”
“I’m actually good. I already have my bag packed as well because I was expecting to need to help you and Speck when I got home.”
“In that case, do you want to head out now?” Jax looked down at the watch on her wrist. “Once we’re in the car, we could call your moms to see if they want to wait for us to have a late dinner. Are Ronan and his family getting in tonight?”
I smiled at the reminder that my whole family was going to be together this weekend. It was actually much easier than I expected to convince Ronan to visit our moms when he found out I was going. “They are, but not until much later. We probably won’t see them until Saturday afternoon or evening. I think they are going to leave Duncan with my moms and come meet us in the city for dinner and drinks.”
Duncan was my six-month-old nephew and my mothers’ only grandchild, so he was naturally very spoiled.
Jax put her hand on her chest. “Duncan isn’t coming to dinner? I better get to see him at some point. I want to pinch those little cheeks of his.”
I knew Jax meant that, and it made my heart warm. When she was just Olivia’s friend and not mine, I didn’t appreciate how much my family meant to her. It was sweet how invested she was in her friendship with Olivia that she truly cared about our whole family. It had always been that way, and I wasn’t sure why it took me this long to realize it.
“He’s not, but you’ll see him on Sunday as long as you’re okay with not getting back until later in the day on Sunday. My moms want to have all of us over to their house for a cookout.”
“Do you really think I would mind that? I love your family. This is going to be great. I am surprised you’re okay with staying on Sunday. I figured you’d have to prepare for the week.”
I pointed at myself. “New Carter, remember?” Plus, I already picked out all of my outfits for the week.
Jax stared at me for a long time until a cocky grin came onto her face. “You already have everything prepared for next week, don’t you?”
How the hell did she know that? Did she look in my room? I crossed my arms in front of my chest. “No. I didn’t prepare our meals.”
Jax crossed her arms as well. “That’s because we don’t do that anymore.” She nodded toward my closed bedroom door. “Let me guess. If we went in there right now, we would find your outfits for the week laid out on your bed.”
“Ha! Nope.” I lowered my voice before adding, “They’re hanging in my closet.”
Jax laughed heartily, but it didn’t feel like she was laughing at me, but rather, with me. I laughed along with her before slapping her back. “Should we head out?”
Even with getting stuck in traffic trying to leave New York, the drive still went by quickly. No matter how much I tried not to, I found myself constantly sneaking peeks at Jax and Speck in the passenger seat of my car. It was a much better view than I wanted to admit and had my heart constantly skipping a beat.
As soon as we pulled onto the driveway of my parents’ house, the front door flew open, and both of my moms ran out with their arms outstretched as if they were each desperate for a hug.
Jax pointed at them and chuckled. “See. This is why I love your moms so much. They’re the best ever. I hope I can be like them someday.”
Before I could answer, Jax took off her seatbelt and jumped out of the car with Speck still in her arms. She reached my mama first and the two of them hugged, squishing Speck in between them. When they pulled apart, Jax spoke animatedly, and my mama took Speck from her and laughed as he kissed her incessantly.
The scene pulled me in, and I couldn’t bring myself to tear my eyes away until there was a knock on my window. I turned to see my mom standing outside of my car and opened the door for her.
“I better get as big of a hug as Jax gave your mama,” she joked as I took off my seatbelt.
I got out of the car and pulled my mom tight up against me. It had been over two months since I saw my moms, but two months felt like years. I rested my head against my mom’s shoulder and didn’t pull away until there was a tap on my own shoulder.
I found my mama standing there with her arms now outstretched toward me. “Where’s my hug?”
“Right here.” I grabbed my mama and held her just as tightly as I had held my mom. “I really missed you.”
“Aw, sweetie. We missed you too.” My mama gave me an extra squeeze before pulling away. She kept her hands on my arms and stayed like this for a few seconds. “I swear you’ve gotten taller since the last time I saw you. Did you get taller? Or maybe just more mature? Are you growing?”
I snorted out a laugh from my mama’s questions. “I’m twenty-eight. I don’t think I’m having any growth spurts at this point.” I did feel like I had grown as a person, but I wasn’t going to get into that while standing in my parents’ driveway.
My mama chuckled and dropped her hands. “Maybe it’s because you’re a mother now.”
I looked over to where my mom was now meeting Speck. She and Jax were laughing together as he twirled in circles at their feet as if he couldn’t decide who to focus his attention on. “He’s a good dog.”
My mom watched them with me. “He reminds me of Patch. Well, in looks at least. I wouldn’t have exactly ever called Patch a good dog. We loved that little asshole though. Did I ever tell you about the time he ate our wedding invitations? We had to invite everyone through a Facebook event.”
“No!” My moms had told us so many stories about their relationship, I was surprised I had never heard that one.
My mom put an arm around my shoulder. “Oh yeah. I’ll tell you about it later, but first, I want to hear everything about your new job.”
We spent the next hour talking to my moms about work, life in New York, and Speck. My mom shared her own stories of all the years she lived in New York with my Uncle Jamie, and my mama talked about the first pediatric optometry practice she owned, which was also in New York City.
When Olivia and Quinton arrived much later than expected, we finally had dinner. Watching Olivia and Jax interact during dinner reminded me why the feelings I thought I might be feeling could never go beyond a fleeting thought. It might have worked out okay (well, much better than just okay) for my moms, but dating a sibling’s best friend was a slippery slope. Not that it mattered anyway, since Jax would never in a million years see me that way. It didn’t matter how many exciting list items I completed. I would never be on her level.
After dinner, we went with Olivia and Quinton back to their house. The place they were renting was a cute little townhouse in the Spring Garden area of Philadelphia. It was so late by the time we arrived, we all headed to bed pretty quickly. After arguing over it, I finally gave in and took the guest room and Jax slept on the pull out couch.
The next morning, Quinton made us breakfast. After eating, Jax and I changed into the white T-Shirts and shorts we had picked out for the run. It probably wasn’t the best outfit for early October, but it was at least an unseasonably warm day for this time of year. Luckily, the race start was just over a twenty-minute walk from Olivia and Quinton’s apartment, so we wouldn’t have to worry about finding someone who was willing to drive us home after we were covered with colors.
“Ready to go?” Jax asked when we met at the bottom of the stairs.
“Hold on,” Olivia said from behind me. “I need to get a picture of you two. You look so cute in your matching outfits.”
“Okay, Mom,” I teased. Our mom had been obsessed with taking pictures of even the smallest occasions. She actually still was, so I already figured she’d probably end up taking one of the three of us at the cookout the next day.
After Olivia took our picture, Jax and I headed out. By the time we arrived at the race area, it was already crowded with people. We signed in and were given our bib numbers and race packet. “You two are in group three,” the man said as he handed the packets to us. “Each group starts ten minutes apart, which means your race will start in about thirty-five minutes. There are five groups so if you happen to miss your start, you can sneak in with the next group, but you didn’t hear that from me.”
When it was time for the first group to go, a man stood between two large speakers on the bottom step of the Philadelphia Art Museum. He spoke loudly into a microphone and gave us directions. “I’d like to start by reminding you all that this race is just for fun, and we are all winners. If you want to time yourself, go for it, but we will not be timing you. This is a five-kilometer run and at every kilometer mark, you will be doused with non-toxic color powder. By the end of the run, you will be a rainbow of colors. Since there are so many of you, we have separated you into five groups. Make sure to start with your assigned group so the run doesn’t become too congested. After you cross the finish line, be sure to stick around. There are lots of fun, colorful activities waiting for you. Now, group one: get to that start line.”
I was worried about what we would do for the twenty minutes while we were waiting for our turn to go, but as usual, Jax made the time pass by in the blink of an eye, and before I knew it, we were being told to start.
“Run, walk, or jog?” Jax asked before moving.
“Um…” I honestly hadn’t thought about that part of it. “Definitely not run. Maybe we could jog a little and walk whenever I can’t handle that anymore?” I wasn’t too proud to admit that jogging wasn’t going to go well for me. I never claimed to be athletic, and I didn’t expect today to be the day I suddenly was.
“Sounds like a great plan. No matter what, we want to make sure we slow down when it’s time to get blasted with color. That way, we make sure we get as colorful as possible.”
I studied Jax’s naturally confident stance and the way the sunlight seemed to reflect off of her body as if the sun knew it couldn’t possibly shine brighter than her smile. Even dressed in all white, Jax was the most colorful person out here. Of course I didn’t say any of that out loud. Instead, I just nodded in agreement.
I was proud of myself when we got to the first kilometer marker and I hadn’t stopped to walk yet. Jax held her arm out to stop me when we came to the spot where the colored powder was being thrown. I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to do, so I watched Jax to see what she did. Of course, she held her arms out wide and twirled around in circles as the colors rained down on her. When she caught me watching her, she reached out her hand to me and twirled me around with her. Watching Jax laugh with me as we spun in a circle with colors all around us was like living out a dream. It was one of those perfect moments that I knew I would look back on over and over again. The perfect moments continued at every single color station. Jax found new ways to make me laugh as we danced around together and became more and more saturated in colors. By the end of the run, my heart seemed to be just as colored as my body. Jax took my hand and held both of ours up as we ran across the finish line together and had more colors added on to our already covered bodies.
I was starting to think this might be one of the best days of my life until I turned around and caught sight of something that made my stomach drop and a knot form in my throat that was so big, it made it hard to breathe.
Less than one-hundred feet away from us, making her way toward the finish line was my ex, Marcie—the girl I once truly believed I would spend the rest of my life with. The girl who ripped my heart out and left me wondering what I had done wrong. Except, I knew exactly what I had done wrong, I wasn’t fun enough for her. I wasn’t exciting enough. I feel like I wasted so many years. Even after all this time, I could still hear those words with such clarity it was as if they had just been said yesterday.
“What’s wrong?” Jax asked.
I had been so caught up in staring at Marcie, I didn’t realize that the whole time, Jax had been staring at me. “My ex is here. Marcie. She’s right over there. I haven’t seen her in years.” I struggled to catch my breath. “I know it probably sounds ridiculous, but I’m kind of freaking out right now. So many of my issues stem back to the fact that I wasn’t good enough for her, and seeing her right now is only making it worse.” My eyes drifted back to her, but this time, it was her eyes that they met. “Shit. I think she saw me. She can’t see me. She’ll realize I’m just as pathetic now as I was back then.”
“Carter.” Jax took my hands and forced me to look at her. “We’re going to address how untrue that is, but first, I want to do something. Do you trust me?”
With the way she was looking at me as though she could see right through my eyes and into my soul, I was pretty sure I trusted her more than anyone else in the whole world. “With my life.”
“Then let’s show that ex of yours exactly what she gave up.” Jax pushed a piece of hair behind my ear, then placed her hand on my cheek.
My breath caught in my throat when I realized what she was doing. She was going to kiss me. Jax Michaels was about to kiss me.
I honestly wasn’t sure who leaned in first, but our mouths slowly came closer and closer together until our lips met and fireworks erupted throughout my body. Kissing Jax was like feeling the hot sun on your skin for the first time after a long winter. It was so easy and natural, but also all-consuming and heavy. Without thinking about it, I opened my mouth to hers and moaned when her tongue touched mine. I could have stayed lost in that kiss for the rest of my life, but all too soon, Jax pulled away from me.
I touched my lips as I stared into Jax’s eyes. For the first time ever, I didn’t want to look away. I wanted to be swept away by Jax’s steady gaze. “Wow… I…”
Jax nodded as if she felt it all too. Her eyes darted to the side before latching on to mine once again. Her lips twitched into a smirk, and she leaned in close until those lips were by my ear. “I think it worked.”
Wait. What? I had been so caught up in what had just happened that I let myself forget why it happened. Jax wasn’t kissing me just to kiss me. She had done it to help me make Marcie jealous.
I looked in the direction of where Jax’s eyes had gone and found Marcie staring right at us, an expression on her face that I couldn’t read, but almost looked like jealousy. When our eyes met, she looked away for a few seconds before looking back at me and giving me a tiny wave. Soon, her legs started to move, and she was getting closer to me.
“Shit. I think she’s coming over here. What should I do?”
Jax grabbed my hand and squeezed it, and I forced myself to ignore how good it felt. “Just follow my lead, okay?”
When Marcie was standing right in front of me, she gave me another, very awkward, wave. “Hey, Carter. It’s been forever. How are you?”
I nodded a bunch of times like a complete idiot before answering. “It has. I’m good.” I cleared my throat. “Great, actually.”
Marcie’s eyes moved from my eyes to my and Jax’s interlocked fingers, then over to Jax. Marcie tilted her head at Jax and studied her face. “Have we met? I feel like I know you.”
Jax held her hand that wasn’t holding mine out toward Marcie. “Jax Michaels. You probably remember me as Olivia’s best friend and roommate, but now I’m also Carter’s girlfriend.”
Girlfriend. I obviously knew it was all a lie, but hearing Jax call herself my girlfriend felt way too good.
Marcie accepted Jax’s handshake but quickly dropped her hand. “Oh… Yeah… Jax. It’s great to see you again.” The words she was saying didn’t match the tone of her voice. If I wasn’t so overwhelmed by that kiss, I would have been happy since it seemed to have worked. I wasn’t sure if Marcie was jealous, but she was at least rattled. She pointed her thumb behind her to nothing in particular. “I should probably get back to my friends, but it was great to see you, Carter. You look good. Really good. Happy.”
“It was great to see you too, Marcie.” The problem was the great part of seeing Marcie was finding that I’m clearly over her, but that was because I had feelings for someone else.
Shit. I had feelings for Jax. Real feelings. An actual crush. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t deny that to myself at this point. All I could do was try to get rid of it since she clearly didn’t feel the same.
Jax put her arm around me and leaned her head against mine. “That was great. She was so jealous. And after how many years? Five? Six? You must have made quite the impact on her.”
When Jax noticed I wasn’t laughing with her, she turned toward me and moved her hands to rest on my arms. Her face was serious as she stared into my eyes. “Hey, about all of those things you said… it’s not true. You are good enough for Marcie. You were back then, and you still are now. The breakup wasn’t your fault. She’s the idiot who lost the best thing that ever could have happened to her. And you are not pathetic. You’re a human with very real feelings that were hurt immensely when you lost the one person you thought you never would.”
Her words made me want to either cry or kiss her, but I knew I couldn’t do either. I leaned in and placed a kiss on her cheek because it seemed like the safe (and friendly) thing to do. “Thank you.”
Jax gave me a sincere smile and squeezed my arms before letting her hands drop away. “I only speak the truth. Never forget that.”
The truth. The truth was, Jax only kissed me to help me make Marcie jealous, because she saw me as a friend. Only a friend. It didn’t matter how good it felt to have her lips against mine, because she clearly didn’t have the same reaction. She was just being Jax and doing whatever she needed to do to help me.
We spent the next two hours eating and participating in post-run activities. We were having such a good time that I was able to push my anxiety about the kiss and my reaction to it to the back of my mind. I was able to avoid thinking about it throughout our walk home and even as I was getting myself cleaned up to meet my brother and his wife for dinner.
When we arrived at the restaurant, Ronan and Mallory were waiting outside for us. As soon as we reached them, Ronan pulled me into a tight hug. “How was the 5k?”
“It was… fun.” I knew there was no way my brother was going to miss my hesitation since he always caught on to things like that.
