Dangerous Girls 2, page 21
Great.
I was definitely going to have to wash my hands again.
“That’s true,” I said with a smile at Artemis. “The antidote is a huge advantage.”
“Are we, uh…” Jay cleared his throat and fiddled anxiously with his mug of tea. “I mean, I don’t really know, I’m still getting used to all of this, and I don’t know the rules or anything, but are we– I mean, do we– like, as a group, do we– do we make it a habit of– like, you know, the vibe, are we talking Christopher Reeve’s Superman or Henry Cavill’s Superman, like there’s a big difference between them, and I’m not judging, I just– I mean, maybe a little bit of judgment but, like, it’s not, I mean–”
“Jay.” I cut off his verbal stream of consciousness. “What are you trying to say?”
Diana let out a weak, croaking chuckle that made us all look at her in surprise.
“Christopher Reeve or Henry Cavill,” she gasped. “That’s one way of putting it.”
“Of putting what?” Artemis demanded. “Diana?”
“He’s asking if you’re going to kill her,” Diana said. “The Mithridate. Are you going to kill her?”
“Oh, shit.” Artemis frowned at Jay. “What the fuck was that about Superman?”
“Christopher Reeve’s Superman wouldn’t have killed anyone,” Diana said. “He was a hero. But Henry Cavill’s Superman snaps General Zod’s neck like a twig.”
“Oh, my god,” Artemis sighed. “How do you know all this stuff?”
“Who knows?” Diana grinned at Jay, who blushed a dark red. “Maybe I’m just smarter than you.”
“Sure.” Artemis rolled her eyes.
“Christopher Reeve,” I said to Jay. “Always Christopher Reeve, whenever possible.”
“Okay. Phew.” Jay gave a relieved smile. “That’s good to hear. I didn’t know what kind of good guys we are.”
“The good guys don’t kill people,” Artemis exclaimed. “That’s why they’re the good guys.”
“Well…” Jay hesitated.
“I’m not saying that we have to be the good guys,” she added quickly. “I’m saying that in, you know, stories and whatever, the good guys don’t kill people.”
“It’s the very last option, at least,” I amended.
“Well…” Jay sucked his teeth.
“Okay, maybe we can move away from Superman and focus on what we’re going to do next,” I said.
“So we’re not killing her,” Artemis said. “We’re stopping her.”
“Yes,” I said with a nod.
“Okay.” Jay’s brow furrowed in thought. “Well, she can’t be stronger than all of us. We can jump her.”
“In broad daylight?” I said. “We’ve only seen her in public places. It’s not going to look great for us to dogpile on what people are only going to see as a defenseless woman.”
“Oh, yeah.” Jay made a face. “I forgot about that.”
“What about if I made another memory potion?” Artemis suggested. “It worked well last time.”
“Yeah, it did,” I said. “But the problem is they still came back. They didn’t remember anything about what they’d done or what happened while they were in Wormwood, but they still remembered enough to come back to the town, and we need to get the Mithridate out of here, period. We can’t have her wandering around town and poisoning more people just by being here.”
“Besides,” Diana said, “the Mithridates are immune to basically every poison and potion you can think of. I doubt a memory potion would work on them.”
“And we wouldn’t be able to get her to drink it easily, either,” I added.
“Alright, I get you,” Artemis said with a sigh.
“Maybe Jay was right after all,” I said with a thoughtful frown.
“I was?” he said in surprise.
“Yeah,” I replied. “Maybe the only way to get her away from people in town is to kidnap her. Perhaps we can lure her into a secluded spot and subdue her. Diana, I know you said that potions wouldn’t work on her, but are there any other spells you can think of that could help?”
“Maybe?” Diana shrugged her shoulders. “I mean, there are plenty of spells we could try, but it’s a question of which ones she might have built up an immunity to.”
“I don’t understand.” Jay frowned. “I thought it was just poisons she was immune to.”
“She is immune to poisons,” Diana explained. “But any spell that Artemis and I could do would involve the same kinds of ingredients we’d use in a poison.”
“Say we tried a subduing powder,” Artemis said. “We could throw it at her and it would slow her down. But she might have worked on an immune response to the ingredients in the subduing powder. So even though it’s not technically a poison, it still might not work on her.”
“Oh, okay, I see,” Jay said with a nod. “What if we just lure her to a corner and then grab her with, like, our strength?”
“Our strength?” I repeated with a grin.
“Yeah, you know.” He laughed. “Physical strength. We overpower her.”
“Mithridates are strong,” Diana said in a warning tone. “She wouldn’t go down without a fight.”
“And that would attract attention,” I said. “But what if we managed to lure her out to the roads near the woods?”
“There’d be way fewer people out there,” Artemis agreed. “We’d be less likely to be seen.”
“I feel like a serial killer.” Jay gave an uneasy grin. “This is like behind the scenes of a true crime podcast.”
“The real crime would be letting the Mithridate walk around Wormwood and hurt more innocent people,” I said. “That’s the real bad guy move.”
“Yeah, I know.” Jay looked down and gave a little sigh. “It’s just weird.”
“I know.” I reached over and patted his shoulder. “You get used to it.”
“Yeah, don’t worry about it,” Artemis said. “Soon you’ll be buying zip ties and sawing off shotguns with the rest of us. But that’s a point, actually. If we do manage to kidnap her, what do we do with her then?”
“Contain her,” I said. “We can keep her in the basement. Temporarily at least.”
“Oh, my god,” Jay mumbled.
“I know, it’s not ideal.” I sighed and rubbed the bridge of my nose. “It doesn’t feel like a great solution, but it’s all I’ve got at the moment. If we can contain her, then at least she’s off the streets and no more people will die.”
“Can’t we, like, dose everyone in Wormwood with the antidote?” Jay asked in a hopeful tone.
“How?” Artemis asked bluntly.
“I don’t know,” Jay mumbled. “It was just a thought I had.”
“That’s not a bad thought,” I said with a nod. “But I don’t know how we could manage it. Either we go person by person and dose them individually– and by the time we’d got to everyone, we’d probably have to start all over again because it doesn’t last forever. Or we would have to get everybody in town together into one place to dose them all at once. And even then we might miss people.”
“Besides, you tasted it,” Artemis said with a wry grin. “How excited do you think people would be to take it? Especially if they don’t know what it’s really for.”
“Yeah, I get what you’re saying,” Jay sighed.
“It’s easier to remove one threat than try to wrangle a whole town,” I said.
“Perhaps we can find a way of binding the Mithridate’s powers as well,” Artemis said. “If she’s in the basement for long enough, she might even start to lose her immunity, and then we can dose her with something that might strip her powers away.”
“Good thinking,” I said with a nod. “What do you think, Diana? You know more about the Mithridates than any of us.”
Diana frowned as she thought about it.
“I think that could work,” she said slowly. “It’s risky, but everything I’ve read and heard about Mithridates always stresses how they keep on eating poison for the rest of their lives, which, to me, implies there’s some upkeep required. Perhaps they always need some kind of poison in their system for them to be immune, so if we kept her here, her body might flush it all out and reset.”
“How about that, then?” I said to Jay. “Don’t think about it like a serial killer kidnapping someone. Think about it like we’re staging an intervention and shipping someone off to rehab.”
“I like that idea a lot better.” Jay gave a fervent nod. “Much better than the John Wayne Gacy vibes.”
“That’s what we like to hear,” Artemis said with a laugh.
Chanterelle had stayed silent throughout the whole discussion. She was sitting on the floor by the couch with her mug of tea in her hands, and she took small sips from the mug and looked around at us with a little frown between her eyebrows.
“Chanterelle?” I pushed. “What do you think?”
The mushroom girl jumped when I said her name, and she accidentally spilled a few drops of tea onto the floor. She wiped them up with the toe of her sock.
“I think the plan is a good plan,” she said in a careful voice. “I, as a human, agree with this.”
I snorted out a laugh, then hastily cleared my throat.
“Okay,” I said. “That’s great. So we’re agreed? Kidnap and rehab for the Mithridate.”
“Sounds good to me,” Artemis said.
Jay and Chanterelle nodded.
“I agree,” Diana said. “But now we just have to plan how to do that.”
“I have Uncle Billy’s rifle,” I said. “She might be immune to poison, but I don’t think she’s immune to bullets, is she?”
“We’re not going to shoot her!” Jay exclaimed in horror. “We’re the good guys, remember?”
“I know,” I assured him. “I’m just saying, I can be pretty persuasive when I’ve got a loaded rifle aimed at someone.”
“They aren’t immune to bullets,” Diana said. “Or knives, for that matter. Artemis, do you still have your boline?”
“Of course,” the other witch replied, and she gestured to the bag of ingredients she’d brought with her to make more of the antidote.
“It’s in there?” Diana asked in a scandalized voice. “On the floor? In a grubby tote bag?”
“Yeah, sorry,” Artemis deadpanned. “I forgot my purple silk scabbard back at the shop.”
“It’s not just meaningless pomp and circumstance, you know,” Diana scolded her. “There’s a reason why we have these rules.”
Artemis rolled her eyes to show exactly what she thought about those rules.
“You’re meant to keep your knife in a purple silk scabbard?” I asked as a way of defusing the tension.
“You’re meant to wrap it in purple silk,” Artemis said. “Just like you’re meant to keep your tarot cards in black silk.”
“Don’t tell me,” Diana drawled. “You keep your cards at the bottom of a greasy chip packet.”
“Uh, no, obviously not.” Artemis raised an eyebrow. “It’s a Cheetos packet, thank you very much.”
Diana gave an exasperated sigh. “This is why you’re impossible.”
“Thank you,” Artemis retorted.
“Okay,” I said. “I’m hungry. Who else is hungry?”
“Me!” Chanterelle immediately exclaimed.
“I could eat,” Artemis said.
“I think I will go home now actually.” Jay stood up. “I should probably get an early night before our big action scene tomorrow. Should I bring anything with me?”
“If you have a weapon that’s not too obvious, you can bring that,” I said. “No huge orc axes, though.”
“I don’t have any orc axes,” Jay protested. “Not anymore, I sold them.”
“Come over for breakfast,” I said with a grin. “And we’ll run through the final plan then. We’re all pretty tired right now, so I think you’ve got the right idea, Jay, we should just focus on food and rest.”
Jay smiled around at all of us.
“Thank you for including me in all of this,” he said. “It’s nice to be a part of something. And I’m glad we’re going to make sure no one else gets hurt. That’s really freaking cool.”
“It’s a really freaking cool thing that you’ve agreed to join us,” I said. “Thank you, Jay.”
He smiled bashfully.
Chanterelle leaped to her feet, ran over to Jay, and threw her arms around him.
“Goodbye, Jay, my friend,” she exclaimed.
“Goodbye, Chanterelle.” Jay hugged her back, then waved to everyone, and followed me down the stairs into the shop.
I unlocked the door for him, and he walked out into the gathering dusk.
“Hey,” I called after him.
Jay turned around, and the light spilling out from the door turned his face a deep, rich, gold color. He moved his head slightly and for a moment his glasses were two discs of reflective, pale gold. Then he pushed them higher up his nose, and he looked how he always did.
“Yeah?” he asked.
“Are you okay?” I asked. “I know it’s a lot to take in.”
“Yeah.” Jay gave a smile that started off small and grew bigger as he turned over the events of the day in his mind. “Yeah, you know what, I think I really am okay.”
“Are you sure?” I pushed. “Even with all this stuff about the Mithridate? Even after what happened to Diana?”
“Yeah.” He nodded. “I don’t know, it just seems like a good trade-off. It’s something I can live with.”
“Trade-off?” I asked.
“For magic being real.” Jay’s familiar, sunny smile lit up his whole face. He looked like a saint in the middle of receiving a celestial message. “Everything else kind of pales in comparison to that fact.”
“I know what you mean.” I smiled back at him. “Goodnight, Jay. See you tomorrow.”
“Goodnight, Mike,” he replied.
Jay turned away, and I watched his dim figure walking across the square until he vanished into the shadows and the darkness hid him from my view.
I locked the store door, turned off the lights, did one last check of the shop floor to make sure everything was in order, and then went back upstairs to my apartment.
I went straight into the kitchen and grabbed the boxes of takeout leftovers from the fridge along with some cutlery for everyone.
“Alright, guys.” I went into the front room and arranged the boxes of takeout on the coffee table. “Who’s hungry?”
Chanterelle immediately grabbed a box and started digging into leftover vegetable chow mein. Artemis took a fork and stole a mouthful from Chanterelle’s box and then took her box of mushroom fried rice.
Diana raised her eyebrows at the sight of the food in front of her.
“Are you okay?” I asked her. “Is the smell too much?”
“No…” Diana said slowly. “What is this?”
“It is the food of the gods!” Chanterelle exclaimed with her mouth full of noodles. “It is nectar and ambrosia!”
“It’s takeout,” I said with a chuckle. “We’ve got vegetable chow mein, crispy chili beef, mushroom fried rice, and there are a few sweet-and-sour prawn balls left. Assuming Chanterelle didn’t eat them during the night again.”
“I didn’t!” Chanterelle shook her head with the end of a noodle hanging out of her mouth like she was in the middle of the spaghetti scene in Lady and the Tramp. “There are three prawn balls remaining, just as we left them.”
“And you’re not going to… warm up any of this?” Diana asked.
“Uh-uh.” Chanterelle shook her head.
“Chinese takeout is even better the next day,” Artemis said. “And even better cold.”
“Are you sure you don’t want some?” I asked Diana.
“No,” she said quickly. “It’s so processed, and it’s so unhealthy, and it’s so–”
Her words were drowned out by the sound of her stomach letting out the loudest gurgling grumble I’d ever heard.
“Oh, my god,” Artemis snorted.
“That means you’re hungry!” Chanterelle told her with a happy smile.
“I take it that’s a yes?” I chuckled.
Diana’s face turned a dark shade of red. She covered her mouth with her hand in total embarrassment.
“See?” Artemis crowed. “All these years you’ve been looking down on me for enjoying food, and here it turns out that you’re just as much of a slut for sweet and sour as I am.”
“Don’t talk to me like that!” Diana shouted.
She wasn’t joking.
Furious tears filled her hazel eyes, and her hands clenched into angry fists.
There was an awkward silence.
“It was just a joke,” Artemis said.
“Well, I’ll thank you not to make jokes at my expense,” Diana snapped. “I’ve got more than enough to deal with at the moment.”
Artemis’ eyes flashed with anger. She opened her mouth to give a furious retort, but I quickly reached out and put my hand on her arm.
Artemis scowled at my hand, and then at me.
I raised my eyebrows meaningfully.
Artemis rolled her eyes.
“Fine,” she grumbled. “Whatever. Starve to death waiting for your smoked salmon, see if I care.”
“I have to eat fish sometimes!” Diana retorted.
“It’s fine.” Artemis stabbed her food with her fork. “I think it’s super hypocritical for a witch to not try to save the planet, but what do I know?”
“I can’t be vegan!” Diana exclaimed. “I told you this, I have a lot of digestion problems, so there are a lot of foods I can’t eat.”
“Convenient,” Artemis muttered.
“I’ll save the planet but die from a vitamin deficiency, is that what you want?” Diana snapped. “Oh, wait, yes, you’d definitely want that, wouldn’t you?”
“Enough!” I interrupted sharply and took a breath before I continued. “I think we’re all getting a bit heated. Let’s just enjoy our food, alright? Diana, is there anything else I can get you? We’ve got bread, I can make you some toast.”
“No, thank you,” she said in a stiff voice.
“It’s not organic sourdough, so she can’t digest it,” Artemis muttered.
“Artemis,” I said in a warning voice. “Can we drop this, please?”
