Nightmare Yearnings, page 17
Ivory (originally published in Fever Dream)
I’ve been fascinated with both birds and cryptids my entire life. And what’s a more cryptid-like bird than the ivory-billed woodpecker? It’s been extinct for a while now, but every few years there’s a new possible sighting reported. I wanted to write a story about this extinct bird coming back into existence to carry out some bizarre, unknowable mission. Thus, “Ivory” was born.
Gray Matter
Dementia terrifies me. My grandparents have suffered from it, and while I hope to never experience it myself, the possibility is always there. Exploring this disease as a monster in “Gray Matter” helped me cope with that fear somewhat. Fear aside, I had a blast writing this story, though I will probably never look at liquid plumber the same way again.
Sick Leave
I’m lucky to have a job with paid sick leave, but many workers don’t. It’s a sad fact of life under capitalism that people are forced to work while deathly ill. The alternative, staying home, often means losing money or even losing a job. Of course, working while sick leads to problems of its own. “Sick Leave” deals with this issue through the lens of the Weird.
The Patch
The Great Pacific Garbage Patch has horrified me ever since I first learned of its existence. I’d tell you how big it is, but by the time this book comes out, its size will have changed—hopefully shrunk, if we’re lucky. In any case, it’s a big garbage soup in the middle of the ocean. In “The Patch,” I imagined this soup becoming so massive that it gained godlike powers and, like a god, demanded worship. It’s a slightly goofy premise, but the story was lots of fun to write.
The Lord Above
Once, when dropping off a rent check at my landlady’s crumbling mansion, I discovered a nest of snakes living on her front steps. That story is true. “The Lord Above” is not, but you will probably find truth in its exploration of the landlord–tenant relationship. Landlords might not be literal vampires, but they are certainly metaphorical ones. With that in mind, I encourage you to send this story anonymously to your landlord. I know vampires can’t see themselves in the mirror, but maybe your landlord will see themself in “The Lord Above.”
Under the Hoof, Upon the Horns
The Running of the Bulls has always struck me as a nasty tradition—men proving their masculinity by putting themselves in danger, topped off with a spectacle of slaughter. I wanted to explore both toxic masculinity and animal cruelty in “Under the Hoof, Upon the Horns” without being too preachy about either. First and foremost, my goal was to tell a story that felt like a fever dream. This story ended up being one of my favorites in the collection.
For My Final Girl
I’m not a big fan of serial killer stories. Generally, they’re too focused on the killer for my taste, and the victim’s perspective is much more interesting. That’s the idea behind “For My Final Girl.” With the exception of a couple scenes, the killer is absent. The central focus is Serena’s experience living in fear of the man. My intention was to strike a good balance between empathy and spine-tingling creepiness.
Lockdown
I’m a teacher, so a school shooting is just about the worst nightmare I can imagine. “Lockdown” was tough to write for that reason. I wanted to handle the subject matter sensitively while also injecting it with supernatural horror. Hopefully, there will come a day when this story is no longer relevant.
Top 5 Ghosts Caught on Camera
The origins for this story are goofy, but I got the idea from Nuke’s Top 5, a YouTube channel that mostly features ghost video compilations. Nuke starts many of his videos with the phrase “Top 5 Ghosts Caught on Camera,” which became the title for this story. Being a terrible pantser, I had no story outline beyond the fact that there would indeed be five ghosts. I knew the story would be a little tongue-in-cheek, but I also wanted it to circle around some central darkness—a tragedy that would make the story’s five parts cohere.
Remi Rook the Cannibal Cook
I sometimes wish I’d been around at the height of public access television. Of course, I can look up clips of public access shows on YouTube, but it would’ve been fascinating to see those shows live on an old TV. There was some truly weird stuff that aired. I kept that weirdness in mind when I was writing “Remi Rook the Cannibal Cook.” Funny enough, the idea came to me while proctoring the ACT for high school students. Besides observing to make sure they weren’t cheating, I had little else to occupy my mind. What strange ideas the brain comes up with in times of great boredom!
My Better Half (originally published in Sirens Call)
I’m bisexual and have sometimes joked about having a “gay half” and a “straight half.” Of course, the concept of halves with different orientations has no basis in reality, but some people seem to believe it does. I put that idea to the test in “My Better Half,” and the body horror that came from it was the most fun I’ve had writing in a long time.
The Reveal
I wrote this story based on a real-life event in which an explosive gender reveal device started a devastating wildfire. This news story was wild on its own, but I wanted to add a supernatural element—an homage to the demonic pregnancy subgenre. I didn’t want to be tactless, though. After all, the real-life wildfire was horribly destructive. With that in mind, I chose to make “The Reveal” less about the wildfire and more about the expecting couple’s toxic relationship.
Smaller (originally published in Novel Noctule)
The sci-fi classic The Incredible Shrinking Man partly inspired “Smaller.” I wanted to use the shrinking body as a way to explore negligence in romantic relationships—feeling small when others treat you as if you don’t exist. Thankfully, I’ve never been in a relationship like that, but writing this story helped me imagine what it might be like.
Ghost of an Ocean
A couple years back, I was driving with my partner through the Nebraska Sandhills. It’s a gorgeous, dramatic landscape almost entirely devoid of human life, but on the loneliest stretch of highway, we saw a hitchhiker by the side of the road. We didn’t pick him up because we were afraid, but my excuse was that “we don’t have enough room in the back with the luggage.” Still, we wondered what might have happened if we had picked him up. “Ghost of an Ocean” answers that question in a wild way. It’s also my “what if Rachel Carson wrote cosmic horror?” story.
When Mothman Came to Queer Lake
Mothman is my favorite cryptid, and this story gave me a chance to expand his lore in a new direction. I imagined that, given his ability to predict future tragedy and people’s tendency to ignore his omens, Mothman must feel traumatized and powerless. We see this side of him come out in “When Mothman Came to Queer Lake.” We also see the impossible dream of a life insulated from the rest of the world’s pain. Sure, safety, love, and joy are possible, but you can never fully disconnect from hell on Earth. You’re plugged in, whether you like it or not.
Content Warnings for Stories
Mother’s Tongue: non-explicit reference to suicide
Ivory: parent death
Gray Matter: dementia, self-harm
Sick Leave: brief instance of racism
The Lord Above: animal death
Under the Hoof, Upon the Horns: child death
For My Final Girl: child death
Lockdown: child death, school shooting
Top 5 Ghosts Caught on Camera: child death, drug overdose
My Better Half: biphobia
The Reveal: brief reference to infertility
Smaller: emotionally abusive relationship, alcoholism
When Mothman Came to Queer Lake: homophobia
About the Author
Eric Raglin (he/him) is a speculative fiction writer, podcaster, and horror literature teacher from Nebraska. He frequently writes about queer issues, the terrors of capitalism, and body horror. His work has been published in Novel Noctule, Dread Stone Press, and Shiver. He was a co-editor for the anthology ProleSCARYet: Tales of Horror and Class Warfare. He also hosts the Cursed Morsels podcast. Find him at ericraglin.com or on Twitter @ericraglin1992.
Eric Raglin, Nightmare Yearnings
