Kiran- the Warrior's Bride, page 13
part #2 of Rights of the Strong Series
“You know, fluffy,” I said, installing two pepper spray bottles so that they would be triggered when somebody opened the door, “even if we assume that father is on my side, there’s Nrogo. If father figured mom’s plan out, that nice, slant-eyed neophyte alcoholic can figure it out too.”
Eekhas silently watched what I was doing.
“Right, he can do it too,” I summed up, securing the third pepper spray bottle to the ceiling truss. “That means that there could be a lot of guests tonight. I’m okay with Nrogo being my fiancé, but really don’t want him to be my husband.”
“Okay, three bottles should be enough,” I said resolutely. “Now let’s prepare our present.”
I polished the floor with a fatty cream that was supposed to be used after a chemical peal, then poured a lot of nail butter on top of it. We had an instructor who taught us how to make a bomb out of glycerin, hydrogen peroxide and three creams containing absolutely no explosive ingredients. He taught us many useful things, in fact. For example, although cosmetic products may be carried through any customs, there are many ways that they could be used in military operations.
“Eekhas, move carefully towards the window,” I ordered to the creature. “And keep close to the wall.”
The creature didn’t get it, so I had to hug his neck and lead him to the balcony. I ordered him to stay there. Then I came back to the door and started calculating the trajectory of falling bodies so that I could find the right spot to put hair removal cream. The calculations were tough.
“So, they burst in, get a dose of pepper spray and slip. If they are warriors they will slide for about six feet because they are heavy, if they are not warriors, then maybe two or two and half feet. What should I do?”
I moved two sofas and put all my available creams on their backs and handles, spending five jars total.
“So, he knows what I brought with me,” I grumbled, while I worked. “Father, father, you should have noticed that I don’t have an extra hair on my skin but have a ton of hair removal cream. Those tahr-ehns are really dumb!”
I finished creating the extreme environment for the uninvited guests, washed my hands and went to the balcony to see fluffy.
“Eekhas sit here and guard,” I told the animal.
The creature looked at me sadly, nuzzled my stomach and whimpered.
“Stay here,” I repeated, closed the balcony doors to protect fluffy from the pepper spray, and climbed onto the railing.
The city was barely visible in the twilight fog. The sun had already set, the sky promised rain or a thunderstorm. Somewhere the sirens were wailing. Hearing a siren in this practically barbarian setting seemed quite unusual. I straightened up, estimating the distance to the edge of the canopy, then jumped. Grasping the edge, I hung a little, then pulled myself up and crawled onto the roof. It was more difficult than I expected, but I handled it. I crawled to the place where I saw Naska this morning. I bet he wasn’t crawling about the roof for nothing.
My outing was a success – I discovered a seyr under a tile in the area where I had seen Naska earlier. It wasn’t covered too well. He should have covered it better.
I sat in a more comfortable position, turned the device on and froze – the seyr showed the parameters of some internal connection. I turned the two-way screen off, so nobody could see me and waited for the results of the connection. Finally, I saw Ashara’s frightened face.
“Naska?” The woman whispered in a concerned tone.
“Oh, that’s exactly who I need,” I was very happy. “Ashara, why didn’t you come see me after the feast?”
The old woman stared at the blank screen in astonishment. When the connection was established and she saw me, Ashara let out a sigh of relief.
“Kiera, Little Panther, run away from there!”
“I already did,” I sat there very satisfied with my quick wit.
Father’s words ‘You are forbidden from leaving your chamber’ were useless. Father, you should be wise enough to know that I would do exactly the opposite.
“What’s up, Ashara?” I asked her apprehensively.
“Find Naska,” she answered. “Don’t go back to your chamber before sunrise!”
I thought about Eekhas being there. I would definitely go back for him, and was about to tell it to the old woman, when…
“Honey, they are going to give you to Dyar,” she whispered anxiously.
My eye twitched. What the hell?! Do they think I’m a one-night stand for everyone?! Then I realized that she said ‘Dyar’.
“Tonight?”
“Tonight,” Ashara confirmed in a worried tone. “He won’t be alone. He’ll bring the warriors, because Nrogo refused to take the snowbeast back. They will kill the creature, and you’ll become Dyar’s wife!”
I heard some noise, somebody said something, and Ashara hung up.
I sat on the roof in shock, trying to understand what was happening. Suddenly I noticed some movement. I immediately put my hood on and tightened it to cover my face. Otherwise, against the background of my dark-colored clothes, my face would look like a white round pancake.
There was no need to hide, though. It was Naska crawling up the roof. He saw me, crawled closer and asked in surprise.
“What are you doing here?”
“Sitting. You?”
“I needed to see you. I have to warn you that they locked Ashara and the maids up and told all women to stay in their rooms. The palace is teeming with warriors.”
“Terrific!” I hissed angrily. “Nobody bothered to tell me!”
Naska chuckled and looked at me with some hidden meaning.
“What?” I asked .
“Honor, glory and success,
Clan McVarras is the best!
We are strong, and we are fast,
We will kick McDraggar ass.”
Naska recited, then frowned.
“McVarrases don’t want to give you away, especially after today. They accepted you as one of theirs. Dyar and Rigan, two of the strongest warriors, fought for you. Dyar won. Khassar Nrogo is furious, he demands that your status be upheld, as you accepted the gift and aytnahs confirmed it. But aytnah-khassash took the khassar of Aigor’s side.”
“Kill me now!” Was the only thing I could say. “Busted navigator, what about the laws, huh?”
“Nrogo is furious,” Naska shrugged and added. “And when Nrogo is furious, people die. The khassar of Aigor called all his trusted warriors of the first squadron, and the entire clan McVarras is here. They are expecting an attack.”
I sat winking absentmindedly, unable to understand anything.
“Can they declare a war?” I asked.
“Nobody would dare to start open military operations,” Naska listened to the night sounds and fell silent.
“Why?” I whispered.
“The ruling clan will interfere then,” Naska whispered back.
“Do they want to clone me?” I asked a curious question.
Naska chuckled and shook his head. Then he pointed forward and started crawling.
“Where are you going?” I whispered, following him.
“I have to get a hold of the boss,” Naska explained. “They blocked all communications throughout the palace, we won’t be able to get a connection here.”
Then I froze. At first, I didn’t understand what was bothering me, but then I got it. Naska couldn’t figure out what was happening and even wanted to ask me something, but I quickly put a hand over his mouth and remained silent. The situation reminded me of our training exercises because I saw twelve people climbing the opposite wall. I only noticed them out of the corner of my eye, for they were climbing expertly – a movement, pause, movement, pause. Our instructors taught us that a human eye doesn’t usually catch such movement. Hence, these people in dark clothes were obviously professionals.
For a while, I silently watched their figures disappear in the dusk.
“Who’s there? In those rooms on the second floor?” I asked Naska, after I figured the direction they were going.
“Your father,” he whispered back. “That is the khassar’s chamber.”
We both stopped in our tracks. I was sure that father was their target, and I didn’t like that at all. I mean, I didn’t like father either, but I wouldn’t be particularly happy if they killed him.
“Where did you say the warriors are?” I whispered.
“They are guarding the women’s side of the palace,” Naska looked horrified. “They are guarding you!”
“I get it,” I hissed, jumped up and ran across the roof.
The building was in the shape of a cube, so while I ran, I calculated that I wouldn’t get to father before the goons that were climbing the wall. Something had to be done. But what?
Then I remembered that every seyr has a microphone, and if you connect it to a system, it can be turned into a fairly decent loudspeaker. I stopped abruptly, took out the seyr I got from Naska and went into its settings. I broke the panel, set the microphone volume to maximum and then…
I saw that this seyr had voice-controlled apps. I liked one of the apps a lot. It was called ‘Vox Dei’. Sometimes in tough situations you get great ideas. Amazingly, the seyr (latest model, by the way) had a voice interpretation function. Too bad Micha was not here, she would have appreciated it.
I got into the settings and two minutes later the show began.
It was a dark and silent night. It seemed like everybody was asleep. The assassins were climbing the wall. They had almost reached the windows of father’s chamber, then all of a sudden, there was a voice so loud that even the glass in the windows rattled.
“THOU SHALL NOT KILL!” The solemn and dignified voice said.
Silence again. Dead silence. This poignant silence was interrupted by a desperate shout ‘A-a-a’ as one of the climbers fell down. His landing was accompanied by a loud thud.
“That was a bad fall,” I whispered ruefully.
“PRIDE COMES BEFORE A FALL!” Vox Dei preached loudly.
Two more fell silently, and a double-thud was heard.
“Idiots, they wouldn’t have fallen, if they had used the safety equipment correctly,” I hissed.
“LET IT BE KNOWN, MY ESTEEMED LISTENERS, THAT PRIDE ALWAYS COMES BEFORE A FALL,” Vox Dei interpreted my words obediently.
The fourth one fell with a lingering shout, he probably wasn’t impressed by this statement. Then something happened that I should have anticipated. My old seyr, the one that was connected to the cameras sounded its alarm, triggered by the motion sensors in the cameras.
“Intrusion!” The unpleasant mechanical voice of the ancient device announced. “Intrusion!”
“INTRUSION, MY CHILDREN,” repeated the newer seyr’s voice app. “BEWARE, OH YE FAITHFUL!”
“Intrusion!” The old seyr went on, while I tried to turn the sound off. “Five, seven, eight intruders! Intrusion!”
Vox Dei, as a modern app that interprets what it hears, announced the same for the entire palace to hear.
“INTRUSION, MY CHILDREN, FIVE, SEVEN, EIGHT SINNERS!”
“Damn it, unstable atom,” I swore, trying to turn my seyr off.
“ALL THE FIRES OF HELL UPON YOU, YOU FAITHLESS HERETICS!”
“Why did father have to come and take me to this planet!” I cried out in anger, as I broke a nail, while finally managing to turn the sound off.
“HONOR THY MOTHER AND THY FATHER!” Vox Dei preached.
“Crap!” I whispered in shock, watching how the courtyard of the khassar’s palace filled with lights and then with warriors.
“LET THE BLESSING COME UPON YOU!” The app stated solemnly.
I didn’t really know in what world crap was considered to be a blessing. Crawling back from the open area on the roof, I looked at the seyr’s display and turned the cameras on. I saw my father in my living room, fighting another group of climbers. So, while I was saving father, he was saving me. Aw, what a happy family we are!
I rewound the recording and saw the moment when father had burst into the chamber of his least favorite daughter. He kicked the door in, got pepper sprayed, slipped, but didn’t fall. The other McVarras warriors that came with him slipped and fell with their heads in the hair removal cream. Father jumped up, did a somersault and stood there with tears running from his eyes, but still wielding his sword at those who tried to come in from the balcony. My fluffy was there. For some reason he wasn’t attacking anybody and was quite friendly with the intruders, which made me think about Nrogo.
“Intrusion!” The seyr yelled again.
I turned the real-time mode on again and was rewarded. About a dozen black-clad goons fought their way through the doors, got pepper sprayed, slipped and fell with their faces on the sofa soaked with hair removal cream. That made them cry out loud.
It was fun, but then father dashed to my bedroom and shouted ‘Kiran!’ I sat and giggled. The evening was anything but quiet. Suddenly, father got some kind of a flat device, pressed a few buttons on it and…
“Where are you?” Fathers face appeared on my screen.
“Pretending that I’m Vox Dei,” I confessed.
“You are on the roof!”
How did he know?
“Maybe,” I said, smiling.
Father smiled too. It was a smile of surprise and joy.
“You made all that noise just to save my life?”
After all the information I got, I wasn’t inclined to exchange pleasantries.
“Everybody makes mistakes in their youth,” I replied.
Father immediately stopped smiling, frowned, wiped his tears, and threw his orders at me.
“Stay there!”
“No way!” I decided to taunt him. “Last time, you told me to stay in my room, it didn’t end very well. There is a big fight there!”
The expression of fury crossed the strong-willed face of the warrior.
“They wouldn’t have been able to reach your bedroom,” father hissed, tears running down his red face.
“What if I had decided to get out of the bedroom, the bathroom’s location is so inconvenient. My life could have been in danger!”
Father was so furious that even his tears stopped running.
“Killing you was the last thing on their minds!”
“Who knows?” I objected reasonably.
“I know!”
“Did you send them?” I hoped that he’d share some information.
“It was Nrogo!” He answered.
“Why would he do that?” I pretended that I had no idea.
Father’s face crinkled.
“I refused the request of the khassar of Shayeg. Aytnah-khassash heard my arguments and recognized them as lawful.”
“Hm,” that’s all I could say.
“So, you’re saying that clan McDraggar simply went and declared war on you?” I asked. “All of a sudden, specifically tonight? Maybe Nrogo wanted to prevent something terrible.”
I understood that I couldn’t hold it in any longer.
“For example, incest!”
Father didn’t answer but went to the balcony. Clearly, he was going to the roof. I wasn’t going to sit and wait for him, though.
Turing my seyr off, I put it in my pocket. Then I turned the sound off on the second seyr. I looked around for Naska and saw him about twenty yards away, crawling toward the courtyard.
“It’s useless,” he said, trying to speak as quietly as possible. “The khassar will catch you. I’ll tell the boss that you’re out of reach.”
And with that he disappeared. I shrugged, put on my hood, adjusted my runners, zipped my pockets so that my seyrs wouldn’t fall out, and started running. Thankfully, the roof was flat here.
I ran silently for a long time, until I reached the end of the main palace building. I jumped onto the lower utility building and crawled through a window into the hallway leading to the kitchen and storage rooms. This was the route I had taken with Naska on the day I lost my virginity.
Considering that the attack was expected, I thought that there wouldn’t be any servants around. I was right. Running though empty hallways, I came to a door and saw two warriors who were either dead or unconscious. I took advantage of somebody’s dirty work and left the palace.
Story Six: Hormonal Revolution
I was slowly roaming the dark streets, trying to get a signal. Returning to the palace didn’t make any sense: I knew that they would just marry me off, cutting off any access to alcohol this time, so I couldn’t play any of my tricks. On the other hand, wandering the unknown streets on an unknown planet wasn’t too pleasant either. I was all alone, even Eekhas was far away.
I was wandering the streets for a long time, trying really hard to avoid any warriors. If I saw more than two of them looking like they were searching for somebody, I would press myself against the walls, hide in the alleys or climb onto roofs. I just hoped it was not me they were searching for.
When I saw the flying pods, any hope that they were looking for somebody else disappeared. Nevertheless, I was telling myself that they would not find me. At last, when I was a couple of miles away from the dreary palace, the screen of the seyr I borrowed from Naska lit up and indicated that I had a signal.
I was almost happy, but a new problem materialized in front of me. While I was walking, looking at the seyr’s screen, three muscle-heads blocked my way. Clutching the seyr to my chest, I realized, maybe a little too late, that I was dressed inappropriately and did not have the bracelet that repelled the local testosterone overloaded population. I was in trouble!
“Woman,” one of the warriors said, “who owns you?”
Aha, there was a way out of this situation! These ones knew nothing about Kiran McVarras’s escape and were not looking for me. Naska told me that both khassars would try to hide the problem, so obviously common tahr-ehns would not know about it. I also remembered that when we were in trouble on our home planet, Micha and I would just mention Isinkhai’s name and the problem would be immediately resolved. I had an inkling that the same system of dropping powerful names worked on Eeristan, only here it was legal.
