Running into Trouble, page 27
Sophia’s welcome to him, Hannah thought. But she didn’t want to feel bitter. Because at that moment, it was clear that she had needed Dan, after all. If only to show her what she was missing.
Twenty-six (and a bit!) miles was only the beginning of Hannah’s adventure.
She was finally, finally free.
42
Cassie
With each mile marker she passed, Cassie grew more and more determined. Even the slight weariness creeping through her limbs was nowhere near enough to deter her. This was Cassie’s moment. This was her day.
I’m going to smash this.
The thought of the medal propelled her forwards. It drove her, filled her with a passionate energy she’d never before experienced. That beautiful piece of carved metal, weighty around her neck. Proof that she’d done something extraordinary. She craved it. She pictured herself standing at the finish line, pulling it over her neck, feeling the ribbon against her warm skin. She’d touch it, run a finger along its engraved surface before taking it into the office and hanging it up by her desk. Putting her achievement on display for all to see. Who wouldn’t? It was something to be proud of. Her colleagues would see it as they walked past.
‘Did you hear about Cassie?’ they’d say. ‘She ran a marathon.’
Keep pushing.
The thought of closing her hand around that medal only powered her speed. She could see the next milestone in the distance, a banner of bright orange fluttering in the breeze – 25 miles. Almost there.
Cassie had already flown past most of the runners with their pink race numbers, leaving them behind ages ago. As much as she’d have loved to run with Hannah and Malika, she was delighted that they’d made her carry on ahead. This was no time to be slow ; she’d worked hard. So hard. Trained so much, put in hours of precious time to tone her body and make it ready to push it to the absolute limit. This marathon was hers for the taking.
Keep going. Must keep going.
A few yards away, a man in a bright yellow running vest darted along the course. Cassie had been close to him for a few miles now. They’d overtaken each other, determined in their unspoken competition. During a big run, Cassie always liked to focus on someone and pretend they were racing against each other. It helped her to keep up the momentum.
There was a flurry of excitement around her now – they were nearing the finish line. She was coming up to the twenty-fifth mile, the marker in her sights. Spectators lined the road, cheering, yelling and waving banners in the air to inspire the runners. Cassie wondered if Jack was among them, if he was stationed in the crowd somewhere, ready to call out for her when she passed by, whether his voice would be lost in the noise and excitement of the crowd.
Jack had always gone to her races, standing on the sidelines, waiting to catch a glimpse of her. He’d meet her in the finishing area and she’d run into his arms, and he’d tell her how proud he was. How beautiful she looked. How he’d always be there for her, no matter what. She didn’t know if he’d want to be there today and the possibility made her heart hurt.
Jack had always been supportive. Cassie knew that. So why can’t I do the same? she wondered.
Cassie looked but couldn’t see Jack’s face among the hundreds of others. There was too much noise for her to hear anything but cheering, whistling, the approaching thump thump thump of music as they raced towards that final stretch. She kept her eyes on the road ahead that was littered with empty water bottles as her mind erupted with thoughts of Jack.
I hope he’s here, hope he’s waiting for me. I want him to know what this means to me.
As she ran, she imagined Jack right at the end, beneath the billowing FINISH banner, arms outstretched … before the image in her mind changed. In this altered version, Jack was clutching a baby in one arm. Small and chubby and gurgling away …
Babies. Cassie didn’t know why she was thinking of babies all of a sudden, at such a vital moment. She’d almost finished a marathon, yet her head was filled with babies, with Jack. She pictured herself running with a baby growing inside her, wondered how it would feel. This tiny being who relied on her to nurture it, to care, to bring it into the world with love. She pictured her belly huge and rounded, Jack’s hands caressing it. Maybe her child would like to run, too. She could join the other mums in the park. She knew she wouldn’t be lonely. Would it be worth it?
Could I have a baby?
Sports days, Christmases, football practice, first days of school … all appeared like a movie montage in Cassie’s overworked mind. Footage of a movie that didn’t even exist. Wouldn’t exist, unless Cassie made that all-important choice.
Cassie tried to swat the thoughts away, letting the pulsating beat of the nearby band carry her away from this world her brain was creating. Why babies? Why now?
You’re just stressed, she told herself. You’re overthinking things.
Cassie didn’t see the kerb. Didn’t see where she was going as she followed the crowd. She didn’t feel herself veer towards the left, where the pavement rose from the road. She felt it first. Her breath caught in her lungs as she realised what was happening, that split second of terror before she felt herself toppling forwards.
Pain. Searing pain in her ankle before she landed on the cold, hard ground.
She heard the gasps, felt the spectators stare from behind their barriers. Cassie felt that the whole world was watching. Eyes closed, she reached out to touch her foot. Agony. She took deep breaths, trying to ignore the pain in her hands from the fresh grazes she’d gained from smacking them against the pavement. Her purple leggings were torn.
No. No. Please, no …
Cassie tried to stand, tried to pull herself back up on her feet to carry on. The man in the bright vest was long gone now. But the pain was too much ; quickly, she fell back down. There was no way she could run now.
Devastation washed over her. Cassie burst into tears as her fellow runners rushed on by.
Her race was over.
43
Hannah
‘This is it! Final stretch, Han. Final stretch ! ’
Hannah inhaled deeply then surged ahead as fast as her legs could carry her. Not that it was much use. They were well and truly vanquished. As the 25-mile banner swayed in the distance like a beacon of hope, Hannah and Malika edged slowly towards it, forcing their aching limbs to walk the distance.
‘I can’t believe it,’ said Hannah. ‘We’ve almost done it. Even if we don’t, we’ve made it through twenty-five miles at least.’
Keeping to the side of the road to let the faster runners pass, Malika continued to power walk. All along the route, the spectators were cheering, yelling lines like, ‘You can do it!’ ; ‘Keep running!’ ; ‘You’re amazing!’ in a bid to be inspiring.
‘The end is near!’ shouted a woman in a jacket and scarf, who was balancing a toddler on her shoulders.
‘It very well might be!’ Hannah called back.
‘Don’t be silly! You can do it! Go-go-go!’
Hannah was overwhelmed by their audience all the way round the course, the voracity of their shouts, their unending support for a bunch of strangers. It felt nice. Warming. How people she didn’t know would stand outside for hours to watch out for a loved one and while they were at it, shout encouragement to every runner they thought needed some.
They’d seen banners of all kinds, from the inspiring to the downright funny. ‘THINK OF THE WINE’, one had read, waved by a young man back at mile fifteen. Hannah had cheered at that one.
They’d also passed the charity tents along the route, with volunteers on hand to cheer and wave at their passing supporters. Brake was there, too. A loud cheer went up as Hannah and Malika had scurried by.
Despite the exhaustion, despite the pain, it had so far been an amazing day.
Suddenly, Malika slowed to a walk. She pointed up ahead, where a woman was sitting on the ground, her shoulders moving up and down as though she was crying. A paramedic was tending to her foot. Hannah felt sick.
‘That’s Cassie, isn’t it? Oh no …’ said Malika.
They hurried as fast as they could, as fast as their worn-out bodies would let them, to where Cassie was slumped on the pavement.
‘Cass, what’s happened?’
Cassie turned round. Her face was streaked with tears.
‘I fell,’ she managed, her voice just breaking through the sobs. ‘I’ve twisted my ankle. I can’t run.’
‘Of course you can!’ said Hannah, smiling. ‘Come on, get up, you can do this.’
‘She can’t,’ said the paramedic sternly. ‘If she runs, she might make it worse. I wouldn’t advise it at all. But she refuses to move, so I don’t know what to do.’
‘This is it,’ said Cassie, gazing longingly at the runners who were jolting past, racing towards the finish. ‘It’s over for me. All that training and I’m out. I only had a mile and a bit to go. I feel so stupid. I wasn’t looking.’
‘You’re not stupid. Accidents happen,’ said Malika.
‘It’s my fault. I got distracted …’
‘Don’t beat yourself up about it, Cass,’ Malika said. ‘It happened. You can’t change it now.’
‘You’re not the only one who’s fallen today,’ said the paramedic. ‘Try not to be too upset. There’s always next year. You made it to twenty-five miles! That’s still amazing.’
This only made Cassie cry louder.
‘We’ll stay with you,’ said Hannah.
‘No! You need to finish the race. And why the hell are you standing still, Hannah? I told you to keep moving ! ’
Hannah and Malika launched into star jumps.
‘I know. But we had to stop. Is this OK?’
‘No!’ Cassie thrust her arms frantically towards the finish line. The last mile. ‘Now go! Go ! You’re wasting time.’
Hannah and Malika exchanged a glance. Poor Cassie, Hannah thought. Of all the people it could happen to, it had been her. She’d poured so much time into her training. She wanted that medal just as much as Hannah and Malika did … quite possibly more.
‘Could she walk the rest of the way?’ Malika asked the paramedic. ‘With help?’
‘What?’ Cassie shrieked.
The paramedic considered for a moment.
‘You’d have to be extremely careful. I wouldn’t advise it, but …’
‘Right,’ said Hannah, reaching out for Cassie’s arm. ‘See if you can pull yourself up. You’re coming with us. Mal, get her other side. Slowly, slowly …’
Cassie laughed, wiping at her teary face. ‘Are you serious? What are you doing? It’s another mile, Han. A mile. Just over a mile, actually. We won’t make it.’
Hannah and Malika heaved Cassie to her feet. Cassie put an arm around each of them so that she was fully supported.
‘If we don’t make it,’ said Hannah, ‘then we don’t make it.’
Cassie sniffed. She held on tightly to her friends as they set off slowly, gripping onto one another as runners hurried past them in the final sprint to the finish line. Cassie hobbled wearily, trying to keep the speed up even as she struggled with her injured leg.
‘Hate to break it to you, Cass, but you probably won’t be hitting your estimated finish time now,’ said Hannah.
‘I know,’ said Cassie, laughing now. ‘I’m way out. But I can still win a medal. And we can finish the race together.’
‘Exactly,’ said Hannah. ‘We weren’t going to leave you behind, Cass. We’re a club.’
The crowd roared as they made their way along the road, passing the 25-mile banner and heading towards their final destination : the finish line. People clapped and cheered, whooping as they shuffled along, Cassie hopping in the middle and smiling through the pain, to the applause of bystanders.
‘So, regretting it yet?’ asked Cassie.
‘Would it be weird to say this has probably been the most surreal, fun day of my life? Pain included.’
‘Hannah’s left Dan,’ Malika added. ‘Good and proper, this time.’
‘Oh?’ Cassie turned to Hannah.
‘Yep,’ said Hannah, sounding delighted between tired breaths. ‘Torturous hours of running really gives you time to think, doesn’t it? I was blaming myself for so long, for something that wasn’t my fault. This whole race – pain and all – has just proved to me that I’m worth so much more. Dan has made his choice. He made me feel like I wasn’t good enough. I am more than good enough.’
‘Told you,’ said Cassie smugly.
They continued, walking on among the finishing crowd, watching as their fellow runners sprinted towards the final, most important part of the course. The finishing banner was up ahead now, towering above the sea of people hurrying through, cheering, waving their arms in the air as they passed with proud relief. Cassie, Hannah and Malika stayed quiet, focusing their energy on getting there. On actually making it.
‘Hannah!’
Hannah heard a voice call out from behind, barely audible among the cheering. She turned to look, but all she could see were crowds of people. She continued on.
‘Han!’
There it was again. A man’s voice. Must be calling for another Hannah, she thought, carrying on, their pace faster now, as speedy as they could manage while being mindful of Cassie’s injury.
The end was in sight. The huge, sprawling banner : GREAT SOUTH-WEST MARATHON – FINISH! The sight was almost heavenly. Gripping each other tightly, they surged forwards, not stopping, their breathing quick as they walked as fast as they could towards that giant arch, towards the people, towards the yelling and the thumping music and the excitement.
Their feet stepped over that magical line in unison.
They’d done it. They’d completed a marathon.
44
Hannah
The noise of the crowd pounded in their ears. The music blared and sunlight beamed through the crowds onto Bath’s Royal Victoria Park. Hannah had never seen a more beautiful sight, hadn’t felt so proud, so elated, so wonderfully swept away in the intensity of the moment. She was still holding on to Cassie as they were ushered carefully past the finish line and towards the marshal, who presented them with their medals.
Hannah’s hands shook as she accepted the prize. The large silver medal felt cool and heavy, its details so intricate and precious. She could barely peel her eyes away from it and only did when she had to, when they had to step away to collect their finishers’ goody bags.
‘I can’t believe it,’ said Malika.
Hannah turned to see that she was crying. Huge tears streamed down Malika’s face as she placed the medal around her neck.
‘I did it. I always told Abbie I couldn’t and I bloody did it!’
Wincing, Cassie moved over onto the grass and spread out like a starfish. She kissed her medal and held it into the air.
‘Me too! OK, no PB, but do I care? No! That was amazing. Ladies, we did it. Although I might need to go to the medical tent.’
‘Selfie first!’ said Hannah.
Dropping down onto the grass, Hannah pulled out her phone and snapped a photo of the three of them. She glanced down at it, smiled and opened Instagram.
My club is the best ever! JUST FINISHED THE GREAT SOUTH-WEST MARATHON! Here’s to a life full of new adventures. #ibloodydidit #running #fit #friends #runningintotrouble
Hannah hit Upload. No filter. No fakery. No little white lies. No worrying about what others would see. Because in the photo, they were amazing. Sweaty, dishevelled, bruised, tearful, together. And smiling the biggest smiles possible.
For the first time in her life, Hannah looked exactly like the person she’d always dreamt of being.
45
Malika
As Hannah helped Cassie walk to the medical tent, Malika sat on the cool grass. Above her, the the sky was clear, cloudless, and she lay back, enjoying the sensation of the ground against her warm skin. Her entire body ached. Every part of her was drenched in a layer of sweat. She was completely and utterly worn out. Yet at the same time, she felt absolutely fantastic.
Told you you could do it!
Abbie’s voice came to her yet again. She closed her eyes, clutching her medal in one hand. She pictured Abbie there, slumping down on the grass next to her. Just like they used to do on College Green some lunchtimes, when the sun was out and they’d go for an iced coffee and a chat, away from the stuffy office.
‘I know,’ she whispered. ‘I’m sorry I didn’t believe you.’
She pictured Abbie smiling into the sunlight before getting up and walking away. Disappearing into the crowd. She imagined her soft footsteps among the other runners, blissful and unaware, showing off their medals and taking photos. Creating memories. Malika could see her now, the vivid brightness that was once her friend, those blue trainers stepping through the crowd before fading away altogether.
‘Mal!’
The voice broke through her thoughts. Malika clambered to her feet just in time to see Khari rushing through the crowd towards her.
‘Khari? Oh my God. You’re here!’
‘As if I’d miss this,’ he said, wrapping his arms around his sister and lifting her off her feet. ‘Surprise! Mum and Dad are here, too.’
‘What?’ Malika scanned the crowd and saw her parents nearby.
They hurried over as soon as they caught sight of her, scooping her into more impromptu hugs.
‘Malika! It’s so lovely to see you,’ said her mother. She reached over and touched the medal. ‘This is amazing. We’re so proud of you.’
‘Really proud,’ said her father. ‘We wanted to come and support you. We watched you at the end, you know. You were brilliant.’
‘I can’t believe you came here just to see me.’
‘Why wouldn’t we?’ asked Khari. ‘You were running a marathon. That’s big, Mal. And we weren’t the only ones.’
‘What do you mean?’
