“I remember now,” she said.

  It was my turn to look puzzled. “What?”

  “I saw you. I saw you and a girl in the nurses’ residence when we were in school. I saw you kiss her. You didn’t think anyone could see you, but I could.”

  I thought back to that time. It was in our second year. I remembered the girl she was talking about. Her name was Cathy. She was a redhead and studying to become a grade school teacher. We dated for a few months. Joyce must have seen us kissing in the stairwell. I thought most people were out that day. It was a Saturday, if I remembered correctly. The girls who were from Chicago or one of its suburbs tended to go home on the weekends. We had been giggling as we descended the stairs. I wanted to kiss Cathy, so I did right there on the stairs. That’s when Joyce must have seen us.

  “I hope you don’t think I was spying on you. I just wanted to go downstairs. I didn’t gawk or anything, but I saw enough to know it was you kissing a girl. Then you and the girl ran downstairs. You held hands and laughed.”

  “I guess we put on quite a show for you.” I couldn’t help but smile at the memory. That was how I liked to remember Cathy. We broke up because we were young and getting used to the idea that we were lesbians. It just wasn’t meant to be.

  “I was shocked at the time. I’d never seen anything like that. For several days afterwards, I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I realize now that I thought about it so much because it showed me another possibility.” She reached up and caressed my cheek.

  I said, gently, “And then you graduated and married a nice man.”

  “A good man, yes. The possibility I saw, of you kissing that girl, I didn’t think it was for me at that time.”

  “And now?” I had begun to run my fingers through her hair.

  She smiled. “All things are possible.”

  We kissed a proper romantic and sexy kiss then. I had forgotten we were out on the balcony until I heard some shouting coming from the pier.

  “Maybe we should go inside?” I said.

  Joyce nodded. We went back into the cabin. She took my hand and led me into her room, which contained a double bed. Joyce had always been a neatnik and the state of her room did not disappoint. She had even made her bed already. I drew the curtains closed. They were sheer enough to let some light in. She pulled me down onto the bed with her. We kissed for several minutes. She giggled.

  “Wait! Is your daughter supposed to come back soon?”

  “No. She went on the excursion to swim with turtles. She won’t be back until this afternoon. Kiss me again.”

  “Where did you learn to be so aggressive?” I said. Joyce had surprised me. She always surprised me.

  “Life. I learned it in my life, and I don’t have any more time to wait.”

  We lay down on the bed facing each other. I held her face in my hands and kissed her again. I had suspected yesterday that she was wearing a little makeup, but this morning just after breakfast her face was bare. Her skin was fresh and pale. She had a small mole to the left of the bridge of her nose, and I could see the deep lines in her skin. Age can be so beautiful.

  She pulled away for just a moment. “Seeing you kiss that day taught me that there were other possibilities. Gay pride, my bisexual daughter, I knew that there could be more than just a boy and a girl, but I’ve never done anything like this.”

  “Why me? Why now?”

  “Because you’re you, and you’re here. Kiss me again.”

  I did, and I opened my lips to let her tongue in. It had been such a long time since I’d been with a straight girl or a lesbian virgin, but I felt so drawn to Joyce. The slit of her robe spread open slightly, and I saw more of her cleavage and the breasts below.

  “You’re so beautiful,” I said.

  “So, are you,” she said. “Your hair is so long, soft and white. Your eyes are so blue.”

  I placed my finger in the notch at the base of her neck. I ran my finger over her collar bones and then down the gap that was growing ever larger where her robe was wrapped over her breasts. I untied the belt, and her robe fell open. Her breasts were petite, and her nipples were brown and perky.

  I threw off my tank top and bra into a corner of her room then I returned to her lovely body covered with the scars of a life well lived. There were the little white stretch marks on her breasts, most likely from pregnancy and breastfeeding her children. There was a jagged scar on her forearm that was probably once an angry red but was now a faint pink.

  I flicked each nipple gently with my tongue. She gasped. I tried to take a whole breast in my mouth. It didn’t quite fit, but I enjoyed trying, and she appeared to enjoy my efforts. She dug her hands in my hair and ran her fingers over my ears, always a sensitive spot for me. I was getting wet. She moaned.

  I ran my tongue down between her breasts, pushing the robe aside and revealing more of her body until I reached her bush. It was unshaved and untrimmed, and the brown hair had more of a reddish tint than the hair on the rest of her body.

  “I, um, I…” she stammered.

  I paused resting my chin on her little belly. “You can tell me. I’ll understand.”

  “I’ve been very dry lately. Age, most likely.” She seemed a little embarrassed.

  “I know how to solve that,” I said.

  I inhaled deeply the salty sweet odor being emitted by her pussy. Indeed, I knew exactly what to do.

  I nestled my nose in her reddish brown curls and kissed her mound. I crisscrossed the area with kisses, and each kiss elicited a little giggle. She was so cute. Maybe I had had a crush on Joyce all those years ago too, but it didn’t matter. It couldn’t have gone anywhere then, and I had no time for regret. I kissed up and down each side of her labial lips and her inner thighs. I thought about how tight the skin on her thighs may have been over forty years ago. Her flesh now was, like mine, a little saggier, more wrinkled. I found another scar on her thigh. The woman I was today wanted her exactly as she was at this exact moment. I opened her labial lips and looked at her folds. The skin was red, and I kissed her clitoris that was starting to emerge from its hood.

  “You’re hard,” I said.

  “Oh, I don’t even know what that means,” she replied.

  I didn’t respond. I stuck out my tongue and started licking. Her clit emerged in full, and every stroke triggered more giggling. It didn’t matter that she was dry. I had plenty of saliva to share. I licked until her pussy glowed in the sunlight sneaking in through the sheer curtains, and then I upped my speed. I flicked my tongue from left to right barely touching her snatch, and then I would dive in fully licking up and down.

  And then she started to shake. Her orgasm was a quiet one. Her breathing got a little heavier. Her breasts heaved up and down. Then her legs straightened, and she let out a little sigh.

  “Oh, that was lovely. Can I do that to you?”

  “You can.”

  She went down on me, and her technique wasn’t bad. She covered me in kisses, paying special attention to my scars. She kissed the appendectomy scar on my abdomen, and the scars on my knees from too many trips and falls. And then she licked my pussy until I came as well. I was massaging my breasts and pinching my nipples. She ran her tongue up and down the full length of my pussy, and I begged her to go faster. My back arched, and I yelled.

  When she came back up, we kissed each other, tasting ourselves on each other’s lips until we dozed off. I felt so comfortable with Joyce.

  By the time Kristen returned at around 4 o’clock, Joyce and I were fully dressed and sitting on the balcony, sipping coffee and nibbling on some cookies. I was feeling very satisfied, glad with the world and everyone in it. I hoped no one, especially Kristen, would notice our post-sex glow. Kristen bustled into the suite and didn’t seem to notice me at first. She addressed everything she said initially to her mother.

  “Mom! The turtles were amazing!” She strode through the sitting room and into the bathroom. “The water was perfect! It was all so beautiful! What time do you wanna go to dinner?”

  Joyce and I smiled at each other.

  “Mom?”

  Kristen came out of the bathroom and looked toward the balcony. She saw me for the first time since she came in.

  “Hey, Hannah! How’s it going? Thanks for keeping my mom company. I was a little worried about her staying by herself. She didn’t even want to leave to go shopping, but I think you would have hated it in town. It’s crawling with cruise tourists like us. The turtles were much more pleasant.” By now, she had come out onto the balcony.

  “It was my pleasure to keep your mom company.” I grinned as I grabbed a piece of chocolate-covered shortbread that Joyce had brought from home. “I’m glad the turtles were wonderful.”

  “Do you have dinner plans tonight?” Joyce asked me.

  “I do. I’m meeting my friends at the Brazilian steakhouse.” People like Sam, Joyce’s euchre partner, had been raving about the steakhouse. Sam seemed shocked that we hadn’t eaten there yet. Anne Marie and Sheila liked it so much the first time that they wanted to go again.

  “Sam got to you, too, huh?” Kristen said. “Mom and I are going there tonight, so we’ll see you there. I’m showering, Mom.” She left the balcony.

  We gazed at each other, Joyce and I. I wanted to jump her right then and there, but her daughter’s presence made it awkward. And I figured that Anne Marie was probably back from her excursion by now, so I couldn’t take Joyce there for an extended nookie session. No other place on the ship seemed like a good make-out spot for us.

  “How about tomorrow night for dinner? There’s that really fancy French place onboard,” Joyce said.

  We made plans to have dinner tomorrow night, just the two of us, but we couldn’t wait that long to see each other. At the Brazilian steakhouse our tables were very close together. After dinner, our respective groups became one group and gathered around the piano. Somehow, Joyce and I broke away and wandered over to the other side of the ship where we had a couple of drinks, talked and played footsie under the table.

  ***

  Thursday: Port of call, Cozumel

  Both Anne Marie and Kristen went on excursions in Cozumel, so Joyce and I had another chance to enjoy each other again, only this time in my cabin.

  My bed was smaller than hers, but we both fit comfortably. We spent all day naked. She would periodically suck my nipples and sometimes I would suck hers. We sixty-nined. The feeling of running my tongue up and down her snatch while she did the same to me drove me to ecstasy. I told her about my dildos, but also said they weren’t really necessary. Besides, I didn’t have any with me. I was too afraid customs and immigration would find them, and things would get weird. I didn’t want to be the star of one of those newspaper stories about security finding what they thought was a bomb only to have it turn out to be a sex toy.

  Later, when we were happy and drowsy, we lay together in bed, just holding on to each other.

  “Have you told your friends about us?” Joyce asked.

  “Well, Anne Marie guessed that something was going on. She’s my oldest friend and knows me very well. Last night, she observed that you and I had gotten very chummy.”

  “Chummy?”

  “Yes. Chummy. Her word. I told her that we are attracted to each other.” I suddenly felt absurdly insecure. “Am I right about that?”

  She nodded. “Of course. Did Anne Marie tell you how she feels about that?”

  “Not really. She just sort of smirked and said something like, ‘I knew it.’ I guess I didn’t pay that much attention. I was thinking about you.” I kissed her. “Why do you ask?”

  She didn’t say anything at first. She appeared to be thinking about how to say whatever it was she wanted to say.

  “I got the feeling that Anne Marie is annoyed by me,” she finally said.

  “Really?”

  “After we had our little reunion at the cocktail party our first night here, she seemed a bit frosty towards me. I could be imagining things, but I don’t think I am.”

  I knew that Anne Marie had a thing for me, but I recalled something that Frankie had said to me before we came on the cruise about Anne Marie and me sharing a cabin. “Now you two will really have no excuse not to get jiggy with it,” she had said.

  At the time, I had been so taken aback by her use of outdated slang that I hadn’t really thought about what she was actually saying. Anne Marie and I had always just been friends. But now I wondered if Frankie, Carol and Anne Marie, and goodness knows who else, had been thinking that this cruise would be an opportunity for my old friend and I to … get jiggy with it? I knew Anne Marie had a thing for me, but I just wasn’t into her.

  “You could be right about Anne Marie, but I don’t want to think about that right now. Kiss me again.”

  ***

  We went to that French restaurant onboard and had a romantic meal of broiled stuffed oysters and duck. Joyce had been right about Sam moving quickly onto someone else. We saw him having dinner with a fellow euchre player, an attractive blonde from Ohio, and he was turning on all his charms.

  Joyce and I lingered over dessert, sharing a crème brûlée. I thought we were very sweet together. We spoke softly saying sweet nothings to each other, but underneath all the wonder at our rediscovery of each other, I couldn’t help thinking of the end of the cruise, which was less than 48 hours away.

  “I’ve been thinking,” I started. “We’ll be back in New Orleans soon. I’ve had a wonderful, amazing time. I want to be with you, but I live in Chicago. I have a life there—friends, family.”

  “And I live in California. I have a life there—friends and family. Of course, we could visit each other. My son set up a Skype account for me so I can stay in touch with him. He lives with his wife in Toronto. We could Skype, Hannah.”

  There was something about the way she said it. She sounded doubtful. She sounded far away.

  “What is it?” I asked against my better judgment.

  “Oh Hannah, I hadn’t thought of us beyond this week. I’ve had lots of fun, and I care about you a great deal. This has all been so unexpected. I haven’t been with anyone since Dan died. I don’t know.”

  I couldn’t believe it. I took a deep breath. “What don’t you know? What about all things are possible?” I said. “Remember? You said that.”

  She reached for my left hand. I snatched it away. I was too old to have my heart broken one more time. I didn’t know if I could do it. Maybe it would be better to cut my losses now.

  “I do remember. I meant it. I just don’t know how practical a long distance relationship would be. I don’t even know if this is a relationship. Is it?”

  All kinds of things went through my head. I wondered if I had been wasting my time with Joyce. I flashed back to a time many years ago when my friends had warned me to stay away from straight women. I’d even learned that lesson the hard way a couple of times. Maybe I’m too old to fall in love again? I thought.

  “No, I guess this isn’t a relationship. It’s just a vacation fling.” I stood up. “I’m going to go find my friends.”

  “Hannah—”

  “Yeah. This was fun. See you around, Joyce.” I walked briskly away. I heard her call after me a couple of times. She may have tried to come after me. I didn’t look back. I remembered that Anne Marie had said something about going to the ship’s casino tonight, so I headed down there. The loud noise and bright lights of the casino were in stark contrast to the dim and quiet French restaurant I had just left.

  I found Frankie, Carol, Anne Marie and Sheila seemingly mesmerized by the roulette wheel.

  I sidled up to them. “You guys know this is totally rigged, right? Like, the most rigged of all rigged casino games.”

  My astute observation earned a “Shhhh!” from Anne Marie.

  I rolled my eyes. “I can’t believe you guys are such idiots.”

  Carol looked at me, puzzled. “What’s your problem? We’re just having fun.”

  “And, contrary to what you seem to think, we’re not idiots. You’re just being rude,” Frankie said.

  Anne Marie moved closer to me. “What’s wrong? What happened?”

  “Nothing I wanna talk about. Have fun losing all your money. Good night!”

  Later, I pretended to be asleep when Anne Marie came back to our cabin late. I listened as I heard the sounds of her getting ready for bed. I finally drifted to sleep thinking about Joyce and chastising myself for ruining a romantic dinner. I mean, I could have waited to ask Joyce about what would happen to us after the cruise. Actually, no, I couldn’t wait. I needed to know what was going to happen. I had a sinking feeling, though, that there really wasn’t an “us.” There was just a brief vacation reunion between two old friends that turned into a fling, and now it was over.

  ***

  Friday: At sea, day 3 of tournament

  Breakfast was early and a hurried affair as the first matches were going to start at 7:30 a.m. Frankie grumbled about the start time. She and Carol had made it into the final day by the skin of their teeth. Sheila ate breakfast with us. It seemed she and Anne Marie had become very chummy. After we woke up this morning, I gave Anne Marie a brief rundown of what had happened with Joyce last night. At breakfast, I filled in Frankie and Carol.

  “So that’s why you were so grumpy last night. I was wondering if maybe Joyce had pissed in your beef bourguignon,” Frankie said.

  “I had the duck,” I said.

  “Doesn’t matter,” Carol added. “Straight women are bad news, my dear.” She patted my hand and gave me a pitying look.

  Anne Marie poured cream into her coffee and then stirred hard enough for the spoon to clink loudly against the inside of the mug.

  “I’m not surprised it ended this way. Carol’s right. I mean, straight women, you know,” she said.

  I looked up from my plate and saw Sheila nodding in agreement. Well, well, I thought. Have Anne Marie and Sheila done a mind meld already?

 

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