Dark Passions: Dark Romance Boxed Set, page 48
“The place is mine but it’s kind of like our community center.”
As he said that, he pointed to the living room where one wall was painted with the bright logo of the Desert Savage Riders Motorcycle Club. Also in the living room was a woman on her knees giving a blow job to another biker who was reclining on the aging couch.
“Right.”
“Some guys stay here after we party, others go home. Most of them live on this street, it’s our neighborhood and nobody fucks with us here.”
The house had a frat vibe, barely decorated and rather unclean. There were beer cans and empty pizza boxes on the floor mixed in with colorful panties and the odd condom wrapper. He showed me around the house: the kitchen, the sunroom, the backyard which pretty much looked like the depressing front yard.
“This is your room. Just move the shit off the bed, I’ll ask around who it belongs to. Otherwise you can throw it away.”
“I thought…”
“What?” he asked, turning toward me.
“I thought I was gonna stay in your room.”
Honestly, I liked the idea of having my own space but I figured it would stroke his ego if I said something like that.
“Here’s what you gotta understand about us, Madden. We have an open door policy. We don’t believe in all that monogamous crap. We don’t live by people’s stupid rules. We do what we like when we want. We do what feels good with everybody that wants to join. Get my drift?”
“You’re talking about group sex?”
“That’s not gonna freak you out, is it? You took to it pretty good with my sister, with Ginny and Gormican.”
“Uh, yeah, sure,” I nodded, doing my best to appear hip to the lifestyle. No way was I going to come off as a square on my first day.
“Great. I’m gonna send in the girls to get acquainted.”
He left me alone and I stared at my new room. The walls and furniture were white, there was an old TV that didn’t work, and the unmade bed was covered with somebody else’s clothes.
“Hey!”
I turned around as three women came in. One was the petite blonde from before, another was a chain-smoking Vietnamese in daisy dukes, and the third had light brown hair braided in pigtails. They all reminded me of Ginny with their drawn features, with the bags under their eyes.
“Hi, I’m Madden.”
They introduced themselves as Carly, Marianne, and Amber.
“You’re gonna fucking love it here, it’s paradise.”
“Yeah, let’s blaze up!”
Amber yelped with joy and produced two joints from her ample cleavage and Marianne hurriedly lit them up.
“Here, Madden. You go first.”
You only have one chance to make a good first impression so I didn’t have a choice. I inhaled deeply and told myself I had to fit in.
And everything went downhill from there.
Chapter 14
One toke turned into ten. One sip of beer led to hours of day-drinking as if I had been cast as a recurring character on Mad Men. Everything was new and shiny, so different from what I was used to back home, that I just went along with it. Curtis would sneak into my room at all hours of the day and take me roughly and quickly.
It was fun but so unpredictable. Then I would do like everyone else and shoot back tequila with breakfast. It helped to make the awkwardness go away when some of the guys would pressure me into making out with Carly or one of the other women. It was a game to them, a performance I had to give. No one ever said anything but I felt it was expected to earn my keep.
By the evening I was usually lost in a drunken stupor, so much that I didn’t care who was rubbing up against me. Sometimes it was Amber and sometimes it was one of the bikers. Carey usually took his time and I enjoyed it but Spud, who was short and hairy, he was a lot rougher. Curtis seemed to enjoy watching him fucking me so that’s what I did.
Some days the girls would take me shopping and that was the closest to what I had imagined California to be like. Curtis gave me a little spending money and most of it I spent on clothes he would enjoy, like revealing bathing suits and sexy lingerie. It made me feel like a woman and yet a part of me missed who I’d been before leaving New Mexico.
I took more ecstasy, because in spite of everything it hadn’t been so bad that time with Ginny and Gormican, and I tried cocaine because I was too drunk to say no. As weeks passed, partying became a job requirement. I longed for just one quiet weekend where I could be by myself and watch some TV.
But with the Savage Riders no one was ever alone.
It was as if everyone was watching everyone else. When you were alone your liable to do something against the rules, it was like a cult mentality. I pretended to be oblivious to what the bikers were doing but it was hard to miss the drugs moving around, the suitcases of money being counted when the women were supposedly out of the way.
I was entirely out of my element but I didn’t know how to break away. Curtis had confiscated my phone after my first day, saying I didn’t need it anymore while I was with him. I was under his thumb. I served at his pleasure.
My favorite moment was when Carly, Marianne, and Amber took me to the beach. There were no guys, just us girls. The weather was beautiful, with the nicest breeze by the sea. It was my very first time seeing the ocean and I was fascinated by it. There were people everywhere: surfers, sunbathers, happy families playing in the sand.
Until this moment, I had never looked twice at college boys. The ones I’d seen come into the diner were always obnoxious, prissy jocks who looked down on people like me. But as I watched a group of bros tossing a frisbee nearby, I was instantly attracted to them. It wasn’t physical – though they were easy on the eyes. It was more about the fact that they were the complete opposite from the bikers.
They were lean and fit and didn’t have a care in the world. There was no agenda, no domination just to prove that they were macho. In a fraction of a second I realized I was fed up with being a biker’s trophy.
“How about we go talk to them, invite them over?”
Marianne looked at me as if I was out of my mind. “Why would you want a boy when you already have a man at home?”
“Twelve men!” Amber said, making everybody laugh and high-five each other.
“I’m not talking about marriage or anything. We could play volleyball or something.”
I pretended this was just a soft suggestion and lied back again to enjoy the sun on my skin but I didn’t miss the other girls sharing concerned glances.
“Best get that idea outta your pretty little head, ‘kay? The guys don’t like us looking at other men.”
“Besides, frat boys always treat us like whores. To them we’re just Valley skanks.”
As she said that, Carly finished her can of Pabst Blue Ribbon and belched. I knew right then and there that they were fulfilling their lifelong ambitions. To them, partying with bikers was the culmination of a lifelong dream.
All I saw was a dead end.
I became morose for the rest of the day and I didn’t exactly cheer up when Curtis announced after dinner that I was about to be the star of my very first gangbang. According to Amber, that was an honor and I tried to put on a brave face.
I wasn’t drunk enough, high enough, to enjoy what happened that night. With Metallica playing in the background, Curtis had me suck off the other guys while they drank and occasionally spilled beer on my head. Then they took turns fucking me.
The first round, they had me missionary style, everybody coming inside of me and the next guy plowing through the sloppy seconds. After that, I was ordered on all fours so they could tag-team me. By then the girls joined in and rubbed my clit or sucked my tits while the bikers fucked all my orifices.
The whole thing lasted several hours and no one noticed my tears.
Chapter 15
I cried myself to sleep that night. Sure, I’d had flashes of pleasure but in hindsight this was superficial. Every time a stranger touched me I lost a part of myself. What started as an adventure now became a trap. Sex, booze, drugs, crime, I was spiraling out of control.
I was grateful for Curtis bringing me out to California and I admit I hadn’t thought this through. I had been so single-minded about escaping Hernandez Flats that it never occurred to me to think about what the price of transit would be.
Being a biker’s chick meant being his slave and that was now what I was. I was far too independent to submit to that lifestyle. Fuck, that’s what this was becoming, a lifestyle. Getting up at noon hung over, being told who to have sex with, drinking and toking to wash away the pain.
To wash away the shame.
This wasn’t for me, I decided. I was better than that. I was too young to end up in another vicious cycle of misery. I’d had enough of this shit.
All afternoon I fidgeted, biding my time. Curtis was always busy talking to someone or other. The other girls wanted to go shopping – and the trip could have done me good – but I wanted to get this over with while I was still jacked up, still determined.
Finally, he headed to the kitchen by himself and rummaged through the pantry for snacks.
“Curtis? I need to talk to you.”
He turned to me, a cigarette dangling from his lips, his hair covering half his face. “If you wanna talk, why don’t you make yourself useful and make me a sandwich.”
By instinct, I got some bread and a knife before producing mayonnaise and ham from the fridge. What the hell am I doing? Why was I obeying him like a puppy dog? I dropped everything and turned to him.
“No, that’s what we need to talk about. I didn’t come here to make sandwiches. If I wanted to make sandwiches I would’ve stayed home working at the diner.”
Me snapping like this made him smirk with amusement. He threw his cigarette into the sink, blew out the smoke, and swaggered my way.
“I can think of something else you can do,” he said, putting his hand behind the nape of my neck and pulling me toward him. “I can handle being hungry and horny, but not both at the same time. As long as you take care of one of them, I’m good.”
I swatted his hand away. “No, Curtis. I don’t want to do this anymore.”
“Blow jobs or sandwiches?”
“Both. I think… I think coming to California was a mistake.”
“You don’t like it here?”
I shook my head. “It’s not like I thought it would be.”
“You thought you’d become a movie star or something?”
“No, of course not.”
He started laughing. “I can set you up with a webcam and you’ll be a star in no time.”
“I wanna go home, Curtis.”
“No you don’t. You don’t wanna work 12-hour shifts serving burnt toast for lousy tips. You’re living the dream here.”
As he spoke, I recalled my waitressing days. I had grumbled for years about doing just that, serving ordinary food to ordinary people. I thought about Marjorie, about the regular customers. I thought about Jason, his quiet presence suddenly becoming what I missed the most. Waking up hung over every day and wondering how somebody would use my body today wasn’t the life I had envisioned for myself.
“That’s not the dream I had coming here. This life isn’t for me and I want to go back to New Mexico.”
His face hardened. “That’s just not done, Madden.”
“Well, I’m doing it!”
“I don’t think you understand the situation.”
“You said I could go back if I wanted to,” I whispered, my voice shaking.
“The first day, yeah. That day has passed.”
“Just give me enough for a bus ticket and I’ll pay you back, promise. I won’t talk about what’s going on here, the drugs and whatnot.”
His hand was back behind my neck and he started squeezing. “What did you say?”
Oh fuck. Had I really said that? I froze with panic. Threatening a drug dealer with blackmail is something you learn to never do starting in kindergarten. It’s good common sense.
“Nothing, I’m sorry. I just want to get out of here, this life isn’t for me.”
“And what life are you referring to? The life where it costs you nothing to live?”
There was no sense trying to make him understand that it did cost me a lot to live here. It cost me my dignity, my self-confidence. I had an inkling that he wouldn’t see it the same way. He clutched my neck harder.
“Please, Curtis. I just want to go home.”
“Or what?” he asked, his fingers tightening even more behind my head.
“Look, I’m sorry, it’s not working out.”
I winced and closed my eyes as his hand began to hurt me. His face was close to mine, his stale tobacco breath like a poison about to invade my system.
“I’ve gotten rid of bitches for a lot less, you know that?”
I wanted to scream that it’s what I wanted, for him to get rid of me. However, from his snarling tone of voice I knew he didn’t mean getting rid as driving me to the bus station with a care package.
Before I knew it, my eyes watered. It was a mixture of fright and pain. Even more worrisome, he seemed to take pleasure in my predicament. A smile was starting to appear across his lips. Instinctively, my eyes swept to the large knife on the counter.
Unfortunately, he saw what I was looking at.
He squashed harder behind my neck and his free hand grabbed the knife. “Is that what you want? You wanna stick this blade inside of me?” He put the blade against my throat and I couldn’t breathe. “That’s what you want? You think you’re gonna be free afterwards, you little fucking slut?”
He let go of my neck and placed the knife in my hand.
“Please…” I muttered between sobs.
“Go on, show me how much better you are, how fucking superior you are.”
I thought about slashing him but I knew that I would never get away. Even if I managed to finish him off, which I could never do, his cronies would be on me before I reached the driveway.
“Are you that spineless, Madden? You wanna live the life but not pay the price, is that it, you ungrateful cunt?”
That final insult enraged me and I didn’t care about the other bikers anymore. Curtis deserved getting stabbed. But just as I was making up my mind to do it, he wrenched the knife away from me. Then he propelled me back.
“Ooh!”
I hit the refrigerator and the handle jabbed me in the back, causing sharp pain. I lost my balance and fell to the floor, hitting my head against the drawers. The whole thing lasted a second and I wasn’t seriously hurt but it was enough to destabilize me in every possible way.
“I make myself clear?” he asked, pointing the knife down at me. “What’s in my house belongs to me. What’s on my street belongs to the Savage Riders. Learn the geography, learn where you are. You belong to me and nobody leaves me. Nobody.”
His gaze was on me and I stared back defiantly. He was probably waiting for me to look away and cower but I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction. Still holding the knife, he grabbed an apple from the counter and walked away, his boots resounding loudly on the kitchen tiles.
Only when he was gone did I start crying in earnest. It was one part relief and two parts anger at being in this position in the first place. I wiped my eyes with my fingers and stood up.
I reached the living room where Iron Maiden’s greatest hits were playing surprisingly not too loud. Curtis was nowhere to be seen and I stood there like a zombie.
“You all right?”
I turned toward the voice and found Carey looking at me.
“Yeah, I’m fine.”
I’m not sure if he bought the lie but he nodded anyway.
“Can you move, I gotta get through.”
That’s when I noticed in his arms were tightly wrapped bushels of marijuana. I stepped aside and Spud appeared right behind him, also carrying a fortune in drugs. They went into the utility room and I saw Carey opening a trap in the floor. Both men went down a narrow ladder to what I guessed was a cellar. This was their secret hideout.
This only served to remind me what a shitty life this was and how much I wanted out.
Chapter 16
I rushed into my room and slammed the door. It was childish but I didn’t care. I just wanted for Curtis and his thugs to know without a shred of doubt that I hated them. I couldn’t stay here any longer and I couldn’t fake being happy. I couldn’t grin and bear it like the other girls did.
The worst part was the lack of privacy. The door didn’t lock and someone was liable to walk in at any moment. That made it worse. It was like prison, like being at the mercy of the guards. I was nothing but an object to these bastards and became more so every day. I had to get the hell out of here.
But now it was clear that asking for my freedom was out of the question. What should I do, go to the police? How was that even possible? Curtis had taken my phone away and he didn’t let me go anywhere alone. Besides, what if the police arrested me? They would see me as an accomplice which wasn’t far from the truth. I had been right by Curtis’s side as he conducted two drug deals.
That meant I had to run away.
Calling for a taxi was out of the question. The only landline phone in the house was in Curtis’s bedroom. So that left taking off on foot but I was still too new to the area to navigate by myself. These California suburban neighborhoods were like a maze, curving streets that folded back on themselves, houses all looking the same. Not to mention that most of the street belonged to the Desert Savage Riders.
That left me with only one serious option: I had to escape and hitch a ride. There were probably a thousand reasons why I shouldn’t even think about this but I couldn’t take one more day here. There was no fun in partying all the time when you were the party favor. I was ready to face the odds.
I was ready to risk my life.
I stayed on the bed, in the fetal position, for hours. I cried until my tears ran dry, trying to find a way out of this nightmare. The thing was, this wasn’t productive. I’d never get anywhere if I remained on my bed.
