Jurassic Dark, page 16
“I’m sorry, Tilly,” I said. “I didn’t know where you were, but let me remind you that you’re only ninety, it’s only a quarter of a mile trip, and nobody was after you.”
“Tomato, tomahto,” she said and looked at Faye. “What are we doing? Are we on the case?”
“Matilda solved it,” Faye said, happily.
“Whodunit?” Tilly asked. “You already put three people in jail.”
“You did?” Faye asked.
“It’s a long story,” I said.
“So, who is it?” Faye asked.
“Well…” I started, but I stopped when I saw Faye’s look of horror. She raised her hands in surrender. I turned around to see Charles aiming a gun at us.
“Spoiler alert!” Tilly yelled and bolted into the courtyard. Faye and I followed her. But Charles was on our heels.
“Stop or I’ll shoot!” he yelled.
The three of us ducked behind the dinosaurs, one for each of us.
“Are you crazy?” Tilly yelled. “You’re a photographer. You shoot film, not bullets.”
“Shut up!” he yelled. “I came for Matilda, but now I have to take all three of you out.”
“I don’t think he’s talking about dinner and a movie,” Tilly whispered to me.
“Let’s talk this over,” I called from behind one of the dinosaurs.
“This is all your fault,” he said, coming closer. Tilly, Faye, and I sidestepped away from him, rolling the dinosaurs with us, keeping them in front of us for protection, even though I wasn’t sure that the stuffed dinosaurs could stop a bullet.
“I know. I know,” I told Charles. “You said too much. The second you mentioned Valium, you and I both knew I had you.”
“It was a stupid mistake on my part, but I wouldn’t have made it if you weren’t a total pain in the ass,” he said.
“He has a point,” Tilly whispered. “You’re a total pain in the ass.”
“This isn’t going to work,” I told him. “Three additional murders. You can’t get away with that.”
Charles ran at us, and we ran around him with the dinosaurs rolling in front of us. “Back up. Back up,” Faye said. “I’m going to jump out and tackle the bastard.”
“No, you’re not,” I told her. “I don’t want you to get shot.”
“I can do it,” Faye said.
“You’re young and in shape,” Tilly told her. “But I doubt you can outrun a speeding bullet.”
Charles stalked us, and we backed away with the dinosaurs in front of us. Round and round we went, getting closer to the gate. There was no way we were going to get out of this. At some point, Charles was going to get fed up and start shooting. The only solution was for me to talk him out of it.
“Charles, let’s work this out,” I started. “The thing is…”
I was interrupted by the sound of a large vehicle coming in our direction. The motor roared, as it got closer. We turned our heads in unison, and I saw Nora’s food truck coming right for us.
“She’ll kill us all,” Tilly said.
We moved to the side as far as we could go. “I’ll save you!” Nora yelled from the truck and ran into the gate. Next, she hit the dinosaurs, one, two, three, sending them rolling out of the gate. Finally, she hit the back section of my house before she finally stopped. The only thing she didn’t hit was Charles. He aimed his gun at me and fired.
“Am I hit? Am I hit?” I asked Faye, frantically.
“No, he missed.”
“Let’s blow this popsicle stand!” Tilly yelled.
The three of us ran full-out down the driveway, but Charles was right behind us. The three dinosaurs had taken a circuitous route on their wheels, and they were also right behind us, but they were gaining speed at an alarming rate.
“There’s no way we can outrun them,” Faye said, as we ran. We couldn’t get out of their way, either. The dinosaurs were after us in a line, like a grotesque version of the Rockettes.
Charles realized the danger. He was the first one who was going to get mowed down by the dinosaurs. As he continued to run, he turned around and shot at the dinosaurs. He fired off round after round until he was out of bullets, but it did little to slow down the dinosaurs.
Miraculously, we made it down the hill, and we were approaching the Plaza, where it was still bedlam. But Amos and his men were just ahead. If we could reach them, we would be saved. We ran under the large wood Richard Gere, New Mexico sign that I had helped set up. Charles was still behind us, but he was no longer armed. The dinosaurs were almost on him.
After we ran under the sign, we took a sharp left and stopped by the diner. Charles ran under the sign behind us. The dinosaurs hit the sign’s wood stakes, knocking the sign off its moorings.
“Would you look at this,” Tilly said. “Timber!”
The sign toppled over and landed with amazing precision onto Charles, knocking him unconscious.
Tilly turned to me. “Look at that,” she said. “Truth really is stranger than fiction.”
Chapter 16
It took three days for Mabel and her band of women to change Richard Gere, New Mexico, back to Goodnight, New Mexico. Amos made Mabel shell out the money to repair all of the damage and bring Goodnight back to normal. She grumbled, but it was either that or Amos promised to send her to jail, where she could keep JoBeth, Jon, Harley, and Charles company.
As soon as Charles was arrested and sent to the hospital for his head injury, Christine and Gregor left town. Faye’s name was cleared, and she took her truck back and drove right to the hospital to be at Norton’s side. She whispered in his comatose ear how much she loved him, and he woke up right then and there.
Everything was back to normal.
Well, almost.
“How does it look?” I asked Faye. She was in the rubble of what was the back part of my house where Nora had run into it with her food truck. Luckily, it was the section of the house that hadn’t been renovated and was just used for storage, but the food truck had more or less demolished it, and the roof was caved in.
Faye stepped out of the rubble. She had returned to her element as a contractor. She was wearing her usual cutoffs and work boots with a tool belt hanging on her hips. She rubbed the back of her neck.
“Normally, I’d tell you to throw a tarp on it and wait a couple years, but the snows are coming, and you’ve got some major structural problems,” Faye said.
I felt light-headed at the thought of the expense. Faye patted my back. “Don’t worry. I’ll do the work for free. It’s the least I can do after you saved me.”
“I’m not sure I can let you do that,” I said. “It’s a lot of work.”
“Well, that’s the thing. This is a historical structure, and it has to be rebuilt like it was four hundred years ago. I can do that, but we have to get it permitted by the Historical Preservation Association.”
“Is that hard?” I asked.
“Mabel is a cream puff compared to the old biddies at the HPA.”
The unmistakable sound of Nora’s food truck’s loud motor interrupted us as it came up the driveway. Faye and I froze. Tilly, Silas, Jack, and Klee ran out of the Gazette office.
“Run for your lives! She’s back! She’ll mow us all down this time!” Tilly shouted.
“Damn it. I forgot to take my new box of cigars,” Silas said, running with Tilly into the forest.
Luckily, the food truck stopped halfway up the driveway. Nora got out and waved at us. She carried a large box, and as she got closer, I could smell burritos and tamales. “Don’t worry. I learned my lesson,” she said. “From now on, I’m going to stop in the driveway.”
“Tilly! Silas!” I called. “The coast is clear! She parked a safe distance away!”
“I brought lunch too,” she said. “I’m going to bring you all free lunch forever, to pay for killing your house.”
Tears formed in her eyes. Jack took the box from her, and she wiped her face.
“You don’t need to do that,” I told Nora. “It wasn’t your fault. You were trying to save us. In fact, you did save us.”
“I saw that murdering bastard come up here with a gun. I knew he was up to no good. So, I jumped into my food truck and came as fast as I could. It took me longer than I thought because I had to go around the riot. At that point, it had spilled out of the Plaza. Richard Gere fans sure are passionate,” Nora said.
“Mabel’s bringing out a shrink from New York City to help them get over the rejection,” Jack said. “They’re big-time pissed off.”
Tilly returned and elbowed me in the side. “Told you so,” she whispered. “I better get back into the office. Advice Annie is in high demand, and besides, I need to get out of sight. Jeb and his gang have been lurking around. There’s no stopping their dastardly intentions. I had a similar issue with Henry Ford.”
She went back into the office with Jack. Klee eyed me suspiciously before she returned to the office. Since the Richard Gere debacle, Klee didn’t trust me at all. She couldn’t prove it, but she was convinced I was behind the whole, horrible thing. It wasn’t easy working together, but since it never had been easy before, there wasn’t much difference.
Silas lit up a cigar. “Tilly’s right about Advice Annie. It’s a surefire hit, and it’s bringing in a crapload of advertising. Tilly’s knack for lying sure is coming in handy. Anyway, you can eat steak this week, boss.”
Steak sounded wonderful. So did lots of advertising. Despite Faye’s offer, I was determined to pay her for the work. She had already done a lot on the house for free, and I didn’t want to take advantage of her.
“I’m finishing up JoBeth’s sentencing trial story,” Silas told me. “It went quick with her pleading guilty and all. When you’re done here, come on in. I’ve got something to show you, boss.”
Silas returned to the office.
“I’ve got to go, too,” Faye said. “Norton’s getting discharged from the hospital today. I’m going to pick him up, and then he wants to do an inventory check of the store. We’re buying out all of Gregor’s inventory. He declared bankruptcy, and he’s moving to Orlando with Christine. They’re opening a Christian Science Reading Room.”
“I gotta go, too,” Nora said. “I have to make my lunch rounds.”
Faye decided to wait until Nora drove away and was at a safe distance from her truck. We watched as Nora turned her food truck around slowly, grazing a tree and ripping off a couple of branches. She stuck her arm out the window and waved goodbye while she drove away.
“That wasn’t too bad,” Faye said. “The tree’s still standing. Maybe her driving is getting better.”
I hugged Faye goodbye. As I watched her leave, a motorcycle came up the driveway with two riders on it. It stopped next to me. The rider in the back hopped off and took off his helmet. It was Boone.
I gasped and broke into a giggle. I hadn’t seen him since he drove off in the night with the stolen truck and bear. He was windblown, sunburned, covered in dust, and hotter than hell.
Boone handed the helmet back to the driver and thanked him. The motorcycle roared away, down the driveway.
“You’re a sight for sore eyes,” Boone told me, looking me up and down.
“You…” I started but couldn’t think of words to say. He had surprised me, and he looked more attractive than he did before, as if he had some sort of magical ability to look more handsome with time.
Boone pulled me close to him, and I snaked my arms around his neck. He kissed me, feasting on my mouth like a man who was on a Matilda diet and starving to death. He thrust his tongue into my mouth, and I welcomed it with mine. We were getting hot and heavy. Our bodies moved against each other. To hell with wooing, I thought. This was so much better than dinner and a movie, and it promised to only get better.
“Get a room!” Tilly yelled through the open office window.
Boone and I separated. “You hungry? Thirsty?” I asked him.
“Starving. Warn Abbott and Costello that I might eat them if I don’t get a sandwich in me quick.”
We walked through the courtyard to my part of the house. “What happened here? Was there an earthquake?” he asked, pointing at the damaged part of the house.
“Long story,” I said, as we entered the kitchen.
Boone washed his hands in the sink. “I got time. I might eat two sandwiches.”
“Nora crashed into the house, trying to save Faye, Tilly, and me from Norton’s attacker, who was trying to shoot us.”
Boone sat down. “Sounds about right.”
I took the bread and chips out of the pantry and put them on the table. Then, I took the ham, cheese, mayo, mustard, and tomatoes out of the fridge and put them on the table, too. Boone got up and got two plates and a knife and sat back down.
“Where are the dinosaurs? Not that I miss them,” he asked, spreading mayonnaise on a slice of bread.
“We were hiding behind them when the killer tried to kill us, and then the dinosaurs chased us down the driveway and knocked the Richard Gere sign onto the killer, subduing him.”
Boone nodded and spread mayo and mustard on another slice of bread. “Sounds logical. But you mean almost-killer, not killer.”
“No, I mean killer. He was an almost-killer with Norton, but he was a killer-killer with Faye’s first husband,” I explained.
Boone slapped ham and cheese on a sandwich and handed it to me. I poured chips onto our plates. “Are you going to tell me who the killer was?” he asked.
“Didn’t I tell you?” I asked and slapped my forehead. “I must have forgotten. It was Charles.”
“The photographer who came here to take pictures of me and my Paleocene dinosaur? No way.”
“Crazy, right?” I said. “JoBeth and Jon were here for the drugs in the Mayan calendars, but Charles really was here for the dinosaur thing.”
“And he decided to stab Norton?”
“Yes! Because of the party.”
Boone closed his eyes. “You got any beer or whiskey? I’m hearing the words. I know they’re English. But I’m not making heads or tails out of them. What happened at the party?”
I stuck a chip into my mouth. “Charles saw Faye. He had no idea she was here. Yes, he was sending her those poison emails, but she changed her name when she got married, and he had no clue that she was in Goodnight.”
“And that made him mad?” Boone asked.
“Of course! Keep up, Boone. Charles hated Faye because she got Teresa’s inheritance.”
“Right. Huh?”
“When Faye worked in Colorado, she worked on a house owned by Teresa Hyde. Hyde left everything to Faye when she died. That made Charles furious, so he tried to set Faye up on a murder charge. He drugged her and her husband and stabbed him. But it didn’t work. Someone saw him skulking around, and it was just enough doubt that they didn’t arrest Faye that time. Then, the party happened, and he was shocked as hell to see Faye there, happy as a lark. He decided to implement the plan again. Remember she was tired and went to bed early? He roofied her drink with his Valium.”
Boone pointed at me. “Christine’s empty medicine bottles!”
“Exactly. He planted them in her purse in case they didn’t arrest Faye again. But he made a mistake and talked to me about his Valium. He took it regularly. He knew he made a mistake when he mentioned it to me, and that’s why he tried to kill me. The dinosaurs and the house were collateral damage. And he locked up Abbott and Costello in the house so they wouldn’t try and protect me. They’re still upset about that. That’s why they’re still napping in their dog beds.”
We looked at the dogs in their dog beds in the corner of the kitchen. They were fine, but normally they would beg for cheese. I assumed they got their feelings hurt when they hadn’t been part of the action.
“Anyway, Charles roofied Norton, too. That’s how he stabbed him without a fight,” I explained.
“Why? This doesn’t make sense,” Boone said. “Why would an International Geography Magazine photographer want to kill Faye’s husbands? Why was he angry about the woman in Colorado?”
I slapped my forehead, again. “Oh, shoot. I forgot to mention that part. Charles was Teresa’s son. Different name. She kept her maiden name, you see. Anyway, they were estranged, but Charles still expected to inherit. He’s an only child. It pissed him off that a woman who his mother knew for only a couple months got all of the money.”
“It made him crazy mad,” Boone said.
“Yes. I sort of figured it out when he talked to us about the altitude. He said it was mother’s milk. He said it was in his blood to have oxygenated blood.”
“Hey, I remember that.”
I nodded. “Colorado is at a high altitude, and that’s where Faye was from. The Valium thing sealed the deal, though. Also, the fact that pretty much the rest of the suspects were in jail for other things, and then Charles tried to kill me, which put an end to the guesswork.”
“You really are Jessica Fletcher,” Boone said, impressed. “But, you know, a younger, hotter version.”
“Adele says I’m Magnum P.I.”
“Nah, that doesn’t work for me,” Boone said.
“Actually, I didn’t know about him being the son until I Googled it,” I said. “That’s what I was going to do when I returned here, but I didn’t have a chance to get on a computer because Charles showed up with his gun. You know, you can find a lot out with Google. Maybe next time, I’ll just Google all the suspects first. That might save time.”
“I should have Googled JoBeth,” Boone said.
“She pled guilty, by the way, after her assistant made a deal to tell all,” I told him.
“Good. Justice. I like happy endings. You want to make out? You want to take a shower with me?”
“I have to check in with Silas first,” I said.
“So, should I wait to take a shower with you?” he asked, hopefully.
“That’s not part of our wooing agreement.”
We ate our sandwiches, and I went to the Gazette office. This time the dogs followed me. In the office, everyone was at their desks, working hard. I felt a burst of pride, happy that this was mine. The paper, the house, the dogs, my friends, and Boone. It was a good, new life, and I felt lucky.
