Wanting Happily Ever After, page 5
“Shit indeed,” Logan said. “And Sarah’s never been back to the lake. Ever.”
“But it seems like she’s ready now,” Katie added.
She did seem to be ready. Maybe she was ready for a lot of changes. First dating, and now this… Brody lifted his phone and reread the text before quickly typing in his reply.
* * *
Of course I’ll be there for you.
* * *
When he hit Send, he looked up and smiled at his new friends. “Well, I guess it’s finally time.”
Chapter Five
Sarah picked at the wilted lettuce in her salad. There was too much dressing on it. There was always too much dressing on the salads at the Knot. Which was why she always ordered dressing on the side. But she’d been distracted when the waitress came and she’d finally ordered her chicken Caesar salad. And it wasn’t Byron, her date, who was distracting her. No, it was the man she’d left standing in her living room with her daughter who occupied her thoughts.
She took another sip of her wine but it tasted bitter on her tongue. As she swallowed it down, she forced herself to focus on the man sitting across from her. It wasn’t Byron’s fault that when Brody had showed up to her house, freshly showered, he’d smelled of citrus and cedar, a combination that had made something low in her belly tighten. Or that he’d complimented her on her dress and the careful way she’d curled her hair into soft waves. His eyes had lingered a little too long on her as he’d paid her the compliment and Sarah had felt her face flush before she’d turned away. She never should have let him babysit. It wasn’t fair. For so many reasons.
She’d tried, but she couldn’t stop thinking about what Nicole had said to her. That it was Brody she should be going on a date with. Her sister-in-law had been genuinely confused that she was going out with Byron when she’d spent the last few months hanging out with Brody.
“But we’re just friends,” she’d tried to explain to Nicole. “He doesn’t think of me like that.” She’d carefully left out how she might think of him and the way her stomach flipped and her heart raced when she saw him. Not that it mattered. Brody didn’t feel the same way. And even if he did…she wouldn’t risk it. She couldn’t risk losing him the way she’d lost Josh. Josh had been so much more than her husband. He’d been her best friend. There’d been a lot missing from their relationship on the romantic side, but the one thing they’d shared for sure was their deep friendship. She couldn’t lose that again. Which was why she was out with Byron. He was safe in so many ways.
“Sarah?”
She shook her head to clear it as she realized her date had asked her a question.
“Are you okay?”
She nodded and tried to smile. “Sorry, my mind just drifted. I wasn’t thinking of…”
“I know how it is.” He nodded and smiled kindly.
“You do?”
“I do.” Byron reached across the table for her hand and Sarah watched, detached from herself, as she let him cradle it in his. “Dating again after so long can be hard,” he said confidently. “And as a single parent, we have so many demands on us, it can be hard to stay focused on the moment, even when it’s such a perfect one.” He squeezed her hand gently and it was that simple action that snapped her back into the moment.
She pulled her hand away and hoped it didn’t look too rude as she tucked it into her lap. “Yes,” she lied. “It’s all a little crazy.” She dropped her gaze to her half-eaten salad and sighed. She closed her eyes for a minute and made a decision. When she looked up, Sarah could see by the look in Byron’s eyes that he knew what she was going to say before she even said it. “Byron, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have agreed to come on a date with you tonight.” She tried to smile. He really was a nice guy. He just wasn’t the guy for her.
Brody is the guy for you. Her stupid internal voice was yelling at her, but it wasn’t the time or place for her to pay it any mind. Especially because it was wrong.
“I’m not going to lie,” Byron said. “I was surprised when you said yes.” He chuckled a little. “Please—don’t get me wrong. But I didn’t really think you were interested.”
She sighed. “You’re a really great guy.”
He shook his head and took a sip of his beer. “I sense a but coming.”
“I really am sorry.” Sarah shrugged. “This is all new to me.”
“Honestly, Sarah. Don’t be sorry.” He offered her a small smile. “Dating after divorce is hard enough. I can’t imagine your situation. I get it.”
And even though Byron couldn’t possibly really get it completely, the fact that he might, even just a little bit, made Sarah feel better.
“Besides that,” he continued. “I always thought there was something going on with you and Brody.”
She almost choked on the sip of wine she’d just taken and it took her a few moments to recover.
Did everyone think there was something between her and Brody?
“Brody and I are good friends.” She reached for her wine and tried another sip. This time, the pressure of the evening lifted, the crispness of the sauvignon blanc was cold and fruity on her tongue. “And he’s a great coach for our girls, isn’t he?” She transitioned into a safer subject. “What do you think of their little soccer season? It’s been pretty awesome. And the final game with Cedar Springs will be a good one.”
They spent the rest of the evening on safer subjects as they discussed their girls, their jobs, and life in Glacier Falls. By the time their date wrapped up, they were both on the same page. They’d discovered a new friend in the other, but that was as far as it would go.
More importantly for Sarah was the spark of a different realization that had only become clearer as the night went on. Her feelings for Brody were more than just friendly, no matter how much she tried to tell herself otherwise. And it scared the hell out of her.
Brody wiped the kitchen counters for the fourth time. All traces of the bedtime snack he’d prepared for Rory were long gone. Still, he wiped. Maybe it was his time in culinary school, or years working in restaurants, but Brody cleaned when he was restless. It was usually a surefire way for him to calm his nerves and still his thoughts.
Except tonight.
He glanced at the clock over Sarah’s pantry again. It was almost nine. She should be home soon.
Unless the date went well.
Maybe they’d stay all night. Talking and—
No.
He wouldn’t let his mind go there. To kissing or—
No. Definitely he wasn’t going to let his mind go there.
The idea of Sarah kissing or doing anything at all with any man would make him crazy. He never should have agreed to babysit. Hell, he never should have offered. But he couldn’t stop himself. All week, since those words slipped out of his mouth, he’d wanted to take them back. It was bad enough that Sarah was going on a date with another man, but to help her do it? To sit and wait in her house for her to come home and tell him all about what it was like to date another man?
He should have his head examined.
Brody grabbed the bottle of cleaner and left another layer of mist on the counter. He attacked it with ferocity.
It had been easier not to think of why he was babysitting when Rory was awake. They’d kicked the soccer ball in the backyard before coming inside to a snack of apple slices and cheese before he’d let her show him all of her stuffed animals. He now knew that Lucky the frog was her favorite, followed by Clara, an old teddy bear. Of course, there was also Bramble the bunny that had the place of pride on her bed. It was Bramble that she’d wrapped her little arm around and snuggled close as he’d read her no fewer than four bedtime stories before she’d finally drifted to sleep.
He’d watched for a minute to make sure she was really asleep before slipping out of the room and flicking the light off and leaving the door ajar a little, just the way she’d instructed him.
Brody had never thought about having children of his own. Of course, he’d also never thought that he would end up in a small mountain town, best friends with a single mom of a little girl, and quite possibly falling in love with both of them even though that single mom was out on a date with another man and clearly didn’t feel the same way about him that he felt about her. Probably because he’d been too big of a chicken shit to say anything at all.
Dammit.
He scrubbed the counter harder but the sound of a car pulling up distracted him from his job. Brody dropped the sponge in the sink and moved to the side of the window to see Byron’s SUV pull up in front of the house. Sarah had driven herself to the pub. Was Byron coming in for a nightcap? He wasn’t sure he could handle that. It was one thing sitting in her house while she was on a date with the man. It was a totally different thing to watch him waltz in to her living room as if he belonged there. Hell. Brody belonged there. A surge of jealousy rose up through his body and he had to force himself to close his eyes and take a deep breath. He had no right to be jealous. None at all.
But that didn’t mean he wasn’t.
He exhaled slowly and opened his eyes at the sound of voices coming up the walk. As subtly as he could, he drew the lemon-printed kitchen curtain to the side. Not a lot, but just enough that he could see Sarah and Byron.
They stood close together. He said something that made her smile. And then she laughed. And touched his arm. Byron leaned in…and…they hugged.
They hugged.
Brody exhaled a long breath.
What was happening to him? He would have laughed at his behavior if it hadn’t taken him so completely off guard. He’d never behaved in such a way.
Because you’ve never cared.
Not like this.
Brody dropped the curtain and picked up the sponge again. The front door opened and he heard Sarah say good-bye before the door closed again. Brody pretend to scrub the spotless counter as she came into the adjoining kitchen.
“Oh.” He feigned surprise. “You’re home already.”
She tilted her head a little before giving it a little shake. “I am.” Sarah moved to the cupboard, retrieved a glass, and got herself a glass of water all while Brody kept scrubbing at the counter.
“Byron drove me home,” she added. “I had a little too much wine at dinner. I was afraid it might have gone to my head. I’ll grab my car in the morning.”
“He didn’t come in?”
“No.”
“It didn’t go well?” Brody knew he was playing with fire, but he couldn’t seem to stop himself. He stopped scrubbing for a minute and looked up. She stood directly across from him, watching him with a small smile on her face.
“It went fine.”
“I thought maybe he’d come in for a nightcap.”
“Why would you think that?”
“Isn’t that how dates go?”
“Is it?” She put her glass of water down and jumped up to sit on the kitchen island. Her bare legs dangled over the edge. “I guess I wouldn’t know,” she continued. “That’s the first date I’ve been on since I was seventeen.” She tipped her head and winked at him. “Did I do it wrong?”
Was she flirting with him?
Every part of him was on high alert. A low vibration started to thrum through his body. “No,” he said slowly. “I think you did it just right.”
“By sending him home?” She leaned back on her arms, which had the very desirable effect of pushing her breasts out against the thin material of her sundress. Damn. “That was the right dating protocol?”
She was definitely flirting with him.
Brody had to swallow back a low growl that threatened to escape from deep inside him. Before he could answer her, she lifted an eyebrow in the direction of his sponge and the counter he was still scrubbing at. “Did you make a mess of things?”
She had no idea.
“You could say that.” His voice was low and rough. Brody tossed the sponge aside and crossed the short distance to stand in front of Sarah. He’d had way too much of the distance between them. And maybe he was reading things wrong. Maybe he’d always been reading things wrong. But he didn’t care. If sitting around in her house while she went out on a date had taught him anything, it was that he knew exactly what he wanted. And it was his best friend.
And he hoped like hell she wanted him too.
He reached out to brush her long, dark hair from her bare shoulder. The touch of her skin sent a shock through him, and he didn’t miss the way her body shuddered, ever so slightly. “I’ve made a huge mess of things.” He lowered his voice as he let his thumb gently stroke her cheek. Her eyes closed and a small sigh escaped her lips before she once more looked at him. When their eyes locked, he knew he hadn’t misread a thing. “But it’s nothing I can’t fix.” He spoke the words as he took his chance and leaned in.
He was going to kiss her.
Brody was going to kiss her.
Sarah’s entire body went into full alert.
It also went into full betrayal mode by lighting up like a freakin’ Christmas tree at the prospect.
Her body wanted his lips on hers.
Her brain…well…hell.
Right before his lips touched hers, she scooted to the side of the counter and hopped down. “I’m hungry.” She opened the fridge and stuck her head inside, using the cool air to calm her and give her a minute to think. “The salads at the Knot are never any good.”
“Sarah?”
She ignored him and took another breath.
“Sarah, I didn’t…well…I’m—”
She grabbed a container of yogurt and spun around in time to stop him from apologizing. “Don’t,” she said. “Please don’t apologize for…well, for whatever it was that was just about to happen.”
“A kiss.”
He took a step toward her, but thankfully kept his distance. She didn’t know whether she was going to be able to stay strong if he came any closer because damn did he ever smell good and every single cell in her body was screaming out to reverse time and let his lips press to hers. It had been so long since she’d been kissed. So long.
“A kiss was about to happen,” he continued. “And I think I really should apologize. I…” He ran a hand through his thick hair and it took up in all different adorable angles. He chuckled a little. “I guess I just read that situation wrong. I thought maybe you—”
“I do. I mean, I did. I mean…I don’t know what I mean.” She held the yogurt in her hands and stared at it. “I’m so confused,” she said honestly.
“About yogurt?” He teased. “It’s just a snack. Not a life-or-death decision.”
She couldn’t help it; Sarah smiled and lifted her gaze. Brody was watching her with a kind smile.
“It’s just a snack,” he repeated.
She laughed. A second later, the tears came, confusing her even more.
She felt Brody move closer, and then his arms were around her, holding her close. He took the yogurt cup from her hand and hugged her tight.
“It’s just yogurt,” he said. “There are enough things in life to cry over. Yogurt just isn’t worth it.”
His words were meant to make her laugh, and they did. But they almost made her cry harder. Sarah wasn’t a crier—she rarely let her emotions loose so recklessly—but for the life of her, she couldn’t seem to stop crying. And even crazier, she couldn’t decide whether she was crying over yogurt or Brody or something else entirely.
“Sarah?” Brody’s voice was laced with concern. “Look at me,” he demanded. “Please.”
She left the comfortable security of his chest and lifted her head so she looked in his eyes. Through the blur of her tears, she saw the worry on his face. The care and concern. And love.
Before she could convince herself otherwise, she lifted herself up on her tiptoes and pressed her lips to his.
It was sweet and soft and also…everything but.
Sarah let herself melt into the kiss. He pulled her closer and cupped her cheek, and it all felt so completely perfect. And for a moment, she let herself believe that it really could be. But then, reality crashed through all the maybes and she pulled away.
She felt the absence of him acutely and instantly. But still, she turned away. “I shouldn’t have done that,” she mumbled. “I’m sorry. That wasn’t fair.” She moved to walk away but he grabbed her hand and held her fast.
“That was perfectly fair.” Brody’s voice was low and gravelly in a way she’d never heard before. “I’m not complaining, Sarah,” he added. “But if you walk away, I don’t—”
“I have to walk away.” Sarah turned and looked directly at him. Her tears had dried now, but the wild ride of emotions was still slamming through her. “Brody, we can’t do this.”
“We can.”
“No.” She shook her head, resolute. “You’re my best friend and up until a few minutes ago, I didn’t even think you felt that way about me and now…well, I can’t lose you, too.” She exhaled slowly. “I just can’t.”
He was silent for a moment but then he nodded without releasing his hold on her hand. “Okay,” he said. “If you say we can’t do this, then we can’t. I’m not going to pressure you. But without knowing what the hell you’re talking about, I’m going to say this.”
She waited a breath before he continued.
“We absolutely can do this. And you are not going to lose me.”
The weight of her secret was heavy on her heart. It had been over five years, and she’d never told anyone about what had happened at the lake that day. She’d never told another living soul why Josh had gone for a swim that day. And why she’d lost him. Sarah exhaled slowly and looked directly into Brody’s eyes.
“I lost my best friend once before, Brody, and it almost killed me, too.”
“Sarah, nothing is going to happen to me.”
She smiled sadly. “You don’t know that.”
“No,” he said. “I guess I don’t. Not with absolute certainty.” He took a step closer. “But, Sarah, you can’t live your life scared that an accident will—”
“But it seems like she’s ready now,” Katie added.
She did seem to be ready. Maybe she was ready for a lot of changes. First dating, and now this… Brody lifted his phone and reread the text before quickly typing in his reply.
* * *
Of course I’ll be there for you.
* * *
When he hit Send, he looked up and smiled at his new friends. “Well, I guess it’s finally time.”
Chapter Five
Sarah picked at the wilted lettuce in her salad. There was too much dressing on it. There was always too much dressing on the salads at the Knot. Which was why she always ordered dressing on the side. But she’d been distracted when the waitress came and she’d finally ordered her chicken Caesar salad. And it wasn’t Byron, her date, who was distracting her. No, it was the man she’d left standing in her living room with her daughter who occupied her thoughts.
She took another sip of her wine but it tasted bitter on her tongue. As she swallowed it down, she forced herself to focus on the man sitting across from her. It wasn’t Byron’s fault that when Brody had showed up to her house, freshly showered, he’d smelled of citrus and cedar, a combination that had made something low in her belly tighten. Or that he’d complimented her on her dress and the careful way she’d curled her hair into soft waves. His eyes had lingered a little too long on her as he’d paid her the compliment and Sarah had felt her face flush before she’d turned away. She never should have let him babysit. It wasn’t fair. For so many reasons.
She’d tried, but she couldn’t stop thinking about what Nicole had said to her. That it was Brody she should be going on a date with. Her sister-in-law had been genuinely confused that she was going out with Byron when she’d spent the last few months hanging out with Brody.
“But we’re just friends,” she’d tried to explain to Nicole. “He doesn’t think of me like that.” She’d carefully left out how she might think of him and the way her stomach flipped and her heart raced when she saw him. Not that it mattered. Brody didn’t feel the same way. And even if he did…she wouldn’t risk it. She couldn’t risk losing him the way she’d lost Josh. Josh had been so much more than her husband. He’d been her best friend. There’d been a lot missing from their relationship on the romantic side, but the one thing they’d shared for sure was their deep friendship. She couldn’t lose that again. Which was why she was out with Byron. He was safe in so many ways.
“Sarah?”
She shook her head to clear it as she realized her date had asked her a question.
“Are you okay?”
She nodded and tried to smile. “Sorry, my mind just drifted. I wasn’t thinking of…”
“I know how it is.” He nodded and smiled kindly.
“You do?”
“I do.” Byron reached across the table for her hand and Sarah watched, detached from herself, as she let him cradle it in his. “Dating again after so long can be hard,” he said confidently. “And as a single parent, we have so many demands on us, it can be hard to stay focused on the moment, even when it’s such a perfect one.” He squeezed her hand gently and it was that simple action that snapped her back into the moment.
She pulled her hand away and hoped it didn’t look too rude as she tucked it into her lap. “Yes,” she lied. “It’s all a little crazy.” She dropped her gaze to her half-eaten salad and sighed. She closed her eyes for a minute and made a decision. When she looked up, Sarah could see by the look in Byron’s eyes that he knew what she was going to say before she even said it. “Byron, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have agreed to come on a date with you tonight.” She tried to smile. He really was a nice guy. He just wasn’t the guy for her.
Brody is the guy for you. Her stupid internal voice was yelling at her, but it wasn’t the time or place for her to pay it any mind. Especially because it was wrong.
“I’m not going to lie,” Byron said. “I was surprised when you said yes.” He chuckled a little. “Please—don’t get me wrong. But I didn’t really think you were interested.”
She sighed. “You’re a really great guy.”
He shook his head and took a sip of his beer. “I sense a but coming.”
“I really am sorry.” Sarah shrugged. “This is all new to me.”
“Honestly, Sarah. Don’t be sorry.” He offered her a small smile. “Dating after divorce is hard enough. I can’t imagine your situation. I get it.”
And even though Byron couldn’t possibly really get it completely, the fact that he might, even just a little bit, made Sarah feel better.
“Besides that,” he continued. “I always thought there was something going on with you and Brody.”
She almost choked on the sip of wine she’d just taken and it took her a few moments to recover.
Did everyone think there was something between her and Brody?
“Brody and I are good friends.” She reached for her wine and tried another sip. This time, the pressure of the evening lifted, the crispness of the sauvignon blanc was cold and fruity on her tongue. “And he’s a great coach for our girls, isn’t he?” She transitioned into a safer subject. “What do you think of their little soccer season? It’s been pretty awesome. And the final game with Cedar Springs will be a good one.”
They spent the rest of the evening on safer subjects as they discussed their girls, their jobs, and life in Glacier Falls. By the time their date wrapped up, they were both on the same page. They’d discovered a new friend in the other, but that was as far as it would go.
More importantly for Sarah was the spark of a different realization that had only become clearer as the night went on. Her feelings for Brody were more than just friendly, no matter how much she tried to tell herself otherwise. And it scared the hell out of her.
Brody wiped the kitchen counters for the fourth time. All traces of the bedtime snack he’d prepared for Rory were long gone. Still, he wiped. Maybe it was his time in culinary school, or years working in restaurants, but Brody cleaned when he was restless. It was usually a surefire way for him to calm his nerves and still his thoughts.
Except tonight.
He glanced at the clock over Sarah’s pantry again. It was almost nine. She should be home soon.
Unless the date went well.
Maybe they’d stay all night. Talking and—
No.
He wouldn’t let his mind go there. To kissing or—
No. Definitely he wasn’t going to let his mind go there.
The idea of Sarah kissing or doing anything at all with any man would make him crazy. He never should have agreed to babysit. Hell, he never should have offered. But he couldn’t stop himself. All week, since those words slipped out of his mouth, he’d wanted to take them back. It was bad enough that Sarah was going on a date with another man, but to help her do it? To sit and wait in her house for her to come home and tell him all about what it was like to date another man?
He should have his head examined.
Brody grabbed the bottle of cleaner and left another layer of mist on the counter. He attacked it with ferocity.
It had been easier not to think of why he was babysitting when Rory was awake. They’d kicked the soccer ball in the backyard before coming inside to a snack of apple slices and cheese before he’d let her show him all of her stuffed animals. He now knew that Lucky the frog was her favorite, followed by Clara, an old teddy bear. Of course, there was also Bramble the bunny that had the place of pride on her bed. It was Bramble that she’d wrapped her little arm around and snuggled close as he’d read her no fewer than four bedtime stories before she’d finally drifted to sleep.
He’d watched for a minute to make sure she was really asleep before slipping out of the room and flicking the light off and leaving the door ajar a little, just the way she’d instructed him.
Brody had never thought about having children of his own. Of course, he’d also never thought that he would end up in a small mountain town, best friends with a single mom of a little girl, and quite possibly falling in love with both of them even though that single mom was out on a date with another man and clearly didn’t feel the same way about him that he felt about her. Probably because he’d been too big of a chicken shit to say anything at all.
Dammit.
He scrubbed the counter harder but the sound of a car pulling up distracted him from his job. Brody dropped the sponge in the sink and moved to the side of the window to see Byron’s SUV pull up in front of the house. Sarah had driven herself to the pub. Was Byron coming in for a nightcap? He wasn’t sure he could handle that. It was one thing sitting in her house while she was on a date with the man. It was a totally different thing to watch him waltz in to her living room as if he belonged there. Hell. Brody belonged there. A surge of jealousy rose up through his body and he had to force himself to close his eyes and take a deep breath. He had no right to be jealous. None at all.
But that didn’t mean he wasn’t.
He exhaled slowly and opened his eyes at the sound of voices coming up the walk. As subtly as he could, he drew the lemon-printed kitchen curtain to the side. Not a lot, but just enough that he could see Sarah and Byron.
They stood close together. He said something that made her smile. And then she laughed. And touched his arm. Byron leaned in…and…they hugged.
They hugged.
Brody exhaled a long breath.
What was happening to him? He would have laughed at his behavior if it hadn’t taken him so completely off guard. He’d never behaved in such a way.
Because you’ve never cared.
Not like this.
Brody dropped the curtain and picked up the sponge again. The front door opened and he heard Sarah say good-bye before the door closed again. Brody pretend to scrub the spotless counter as she came into the adjoining kitchen.
“Oh.” He feigned surprise. “You’re home already.”
She tilted her head a little before giving it a little shake. “I am.” Sarah moved to the cupboard, retrieved a glass, and got herself a glass of water all while Brody kept scrubbing at the counter.
“Byron drove me home,” she added. “I had a little too much wine at dinner. I was afraid it might have gone to my head. I’ll grab my car in the morning.”
“He didn’t come in?”
“No.”
“It didn’t go well?” Brody knew he was playing with fire, but he couldn’t seem to stop himself. He stopped scrubbing for a minute and looked up. She stood directly across from him, watching him with a small smile on her face.
“It went fine.”
“I thought maybe he’d come in for a nightcap.”
“Why would you think that?”
“Isn’t that how dates go?”
“Is it?” She put her glass of water down and jumped up to sit on the kitchen island. Her bare legs dangled over the edge. “I guess I wouldn’t know,” she continued. “That’s the first date I’ve been on since I was seventeen.” She tipped her head and winked at him. “Did I do it wrong?”
Was she flirting with him?
Every part of him was on high alert. A low vibration started to thrum through his body. “No,” he said slowly. “I think you did it just right.”
“By sending him home?” She leaned back on her arms, which had the very desirable effect of pushing her breasts out against the thin material of her sundress. Damn. “That was the right dating protocol?”
She was definitely flirting with him.
Brody had to swallow back a low growl that threatened to escape from deep inside him. Before he could answer her, she lifted an eyebrow in the direction of his sponge and the counter he was still scrubbing at. “Did you make a mess of things?”
She had no idea.
“You could say that.” His voice was low and rough. Brody tossed the sponge aside and crossed the short distance to stand in front of Sarah. He’d had way too much of the distance between them. And maybe he was reading things wrong. Maybe he’d always been reading things wrong. But he didn’t care. If sitting around in her house while she went out on a date had taught him anything, it was that he knew exactly what he wanted. And it was his best friend.
And he hoped like hell she wanted him too.
He reached out to brush her long, dark hair from her bare shoulder. The touch of her skin sent a shock through him, and he didn’t miss the way her body shuddered, ever so slightly. “I’ve made a huge mess of things.” He lowered his voice as he let his thumb gently stroke her cheek. Her eyes closed and a small sigh escaped her lips before she once more looked at him. When their eyes locked, he knew he hadn’t misread a thing. “But it’s nothing I can’t fix.” He spoke the words as he took his chance and leaned in.
He was going to kiss her.
Brody was going to kiss her.
Sarah’s entire body went into full alert.
It also went into full betrayal mode by lighting up like a freakin’ Christmas tree at the prospect.
Her body wanted his lips on hers.
Her brain…well…hell.
Right before his lips touched hers, she scooted to the side of the counter and hopped down. “I’m hungry.” She opened the fridge and stuck her head inside, using the cool air to calm her and give her a minute to think. “The salads at the Knot are never any good.”
“Sarah?”
She ignored him and took another breath.
“Sarah, I didn’t…well…I’m—”
She grabbed a container of yogurt and spun around in time to stop him from apologizing. “Don’t,” she said. “Please don’t apologize for…well, for whatever it was that was just about to happen.”
“A kiss.”
He took a step toward her, but thankfully kept his distance. She didn’t know whether she was going to be able to stay strong if he came any closer because damn did he ever smell good and every single cell in her body was screaming out to reverse time and let his lips press to hers. It had been so long since she’d been kissed. So long.
“A kiss was about to happen,” he continued. “And I think I really should apologize. I…” He ran a hand through his thick hair and it took up in all different adorable angles. He chuckled a little. “I guess I just read that situation wrong. I thought maybe you—”
“I do. I mean, I did. I mean…I don’t know what I mean.” She held the yogurt in her hands and stared at it. “I’m so confused,” she said honestly.
“About yogurt?” He teased. “It’s just a snack. Not a life-or-death decision.”
She couldn’t help it; Sarah smiled and lifted her gaze. Brody was watching her with a kind smile.
“It’s just a snack,” he repeated.
She laughed. A second later, the tears came, confusing her even more.
She felt Brody move closer, and then his arms were around her, holding her close. He took the yogurt cup from her hand and hugged her tight.
“It’s just yogurt,” he said. “There are enough things in life to cry over. Yogurt just isn’t worth it.”
His words were meant to make her laugh, and they did. But they almost made her cry harder. Sarah wasn’t a crier—she rarely let her emotions loose so recklessly—but for the life of her, she couldn’t seem to stop crying. And even crazier, she couldn’t decide whether she was crying over yogurt or Brody or something else entirely.
“Sarah?” Brody’s voice was laced with concern. “Look at me,” he demanded. “Please.”
She left the comfortable security of his chest and lifted her head so she looked in his eyes. Through the blur of her tears, she saw the worry on his face. The care and concern. And love.
Before she could convince herself otherwise, she lifted herself up on her tiptoes and pressed her lips to his.
It was sweet and soft and also…everything but.
Sarah let herself melt into the kiss. He pulled her closer and cupped her cheek, and it all felt so completely perfect. And for a moment, she let herself believe that it really could be. But then, reality crashed through all the maybes and she pulled away.
She felt the absence of him acutely and instantly. But still, she turned away. “I shouldn’t have done that,” she mumbled. “I’m sorry. That wasn’t fair.” She moved to walk away but he grabbed her hand and held her fast.
“That was perfectly fair.” Brody’s voice was low and gravelly in a way she’d never heard before. “I’m not complaining, Sarah,” he added. “But if you walk away, I don’t—”
“I have to walk away.” Sarah turned and looked directly at him. Her tears had dried now, but the wild ride of emotions was still slamming through her. “Brody, we can’t do this.”
“We can.”
“No.” She shook her head, resolute. “You’re my best friend and up until a few minutes ago, I didn’t even think you felt that way about me and now…well, I can’t lose you, too.” She exhaled slowly. “I just can’t.”
He was silent for a moment but then he nodded without releasing his hold on her hand. “Okay,” he said. “If you say we can’t do this, then we can’t. I’m not going to pressure you. But without knowing what the hell you’re talking about, I’m going to say this.”
She waited a breath before he continued.
“We absolutely can do this. And you are not going to lose me.”
The weight of her secret was heavy on her heart. It had been over five years, and she’d never told anyone about what had happened at the lake that day. She’d never told another living soul why Josh had gone for a swim that day. And why she’d lost him. Sarah exhaled slowly and looked directly into Brody’s eyes.
“I lost my best friend once before, Brody, and it almost killed me, too.”
“Sarah, nothing is going to happen to me.”
She smiled sadly. “You don’t know that.”
“No,” he said. “I guess I don’t. Not with absolute certainty.” He took a step closer. “But, Sarah, you can’t live your life scared that an accident will—”
