Cross Cowboy, page 16
So she had seen him and not been interested. Why couldn’t she just have said that? Why did she have to lie about how she looked? Was she really just going to stand him up, or would she have texted later?
Doesn’t matter, he told himself. He didn’t stand there and let her torture him any longer than necessary. He went around the circular clothing rack, his aim the caramel apple table. He could easily overturn it while he roared like a lion, but he would not do that to Will, Gretchen, Travis, or Shayla.
Instead, he muttered, “Don’t call me again,” out of the corner of his mouth as he passed Anya. As he strode by her and away from her, he once again wondered why she’d had to lie to him. He wasn’t that terrible-looking, was he? She’d seemed to enjoy their chats and texts.
Because she’s a woman, he thought, his answer plain as day. And you can’t trust women.
20
“Mama.” Travis entered his parents’ bedroom, the scent of bacon and coffee behind him in the kitchen. His mother sat on the edge of the bed, and Travis’s heart plummeted toward his boots. “You’re looking good.” He managed to keep his voice even as he rounded the end of the messy bed.
His mom used to make it every morning, but as her health had declined, so had her ability to tuck the corners tightly each day.
“I feel good today,” she said.
“I’m glad.” Travis would’ve loved to sit next to her on the bed, but that caused her to sink into him, and that hurt her back. So he crouched in front of her, one hand reaching out to the nightstand to balance himself. “You look great.” He grinned at her, his eyes the same brilliant green as hers. They sparkled, and he glanced up at her hair. It grew in soft, duck-down patches, and she normally kept her scalp covered with a scarf. A variety of them hung on a series of hooks Daddy had attached to the wall on her side of the bed.
His mother smiled back at him. “You’re such a liar.”
“I am not,” Travis said, mock horror in his voice. “You raised me better than that.” He chuckled, wishing he could put his hands on her legs to show his love for her. But again, that would cause her physical discomfort. “Do you need help getting up, or do you want to try it yourself today?”
“I’m feeling lucky,” she said, a dazzle in those eyes. In moments where she felt good like this, Travis could see the vibrant, full-of-life-and-laughter mother he’d grown up with. The woman who’d snap at him to put his muddy boots away, and the woman who’d shown up at the high school wearing outlandish wigs and leg warmers for Eighties Day.
He’d been so embarrassed then. Now, he just wanted every day, every minute, he could get with his mother.
“All right,” he drawled, pushing himself to a stand. A groan came out of his legs and back too. “I’m too old to crouch like that.”
“I’m the one turning sixty-eight today,” she said.
“Yes, you are.” Travis couldn’t wait to get her down the hall to the kitchen. Daddy and Lee had been making her favorite breakfast, and Will had been packing the balloons into his truck when Travis had left to come help Mama out of bed.
Mama scooted to the edge of the bed, one hand reaching for the sturdiness of the nightstand while the other fisted and went down on the bed right at her hip. Such concentration covered her face, and Travis moved back another step to give her space. He wanted to lunge forward and make her life easier, but he understood his mother’s fierce independent streak. He possessed it too.
She adjusted her feet a little wider, and then in one motion, she stood. It took all of Travis’s energy to keep his hands at his sides instead of flailing them out to catch her as she wobbled slightly.
Then she lifted her eyes to his, and such joy lived there. Tears filled his eyes, and he moved into her to hug her. “I love you, Mama. Happy birthday.”
“Thank you, son.” Her voice sounded equally as choked, and Travis took a few moments to hold her in his arms.
“Okay.” He cleared his throat. He’d been coming to help Mama out of bed for months now. Daddy had been doing it before that, but Daddy wasn’t as young as he’d once been. As his parents had aged, Travis had enjoyed the opportunity to serve them, and he hoped he could continue to do so until the very end.
Which he also prayed wouldn’t be for a while yet.
“I wish the Lord would take me,” Mama said, and Travis pulled back.
“Mama,” he chastised. “No, you don’t. We need you here.”
She looked up at him with such life in her eyes, and he honestly couldn’t imagine a day without her. He’d tried. He knew he’d have to endure such a thing. He simply didn’t want to.
“I’m just a burden.”
“No, you’re not,” he said firmly. “No one thinks that. Not even for a second.”
Queenie came over and nosed his hand, then Mama’s, and Travis looked down at the dog. “Howdy, Queen Elizabeth. Let’s go see what Daddy’s been cookin’ up.”
“I can tell he’s burnt something,” Mama said dryly, the mood shifting quickly with her therapy dog and the mention of food. “Probably my toast.”
“That’s because you like slightly warm bread,” Travis teased as they moved toward the bedroom door, hoping his mother honestly didn’t want God to take her from all of them. The warm bread was an old joke between them, as Mama really only wanted a light crisp to her toast, with hardly any brown coloring.
In the kitchen, Travis and Mama found Rissa whisking whipped cream by hand, and Daddy pulling a golden, delicious Belgian waffle from the maker. “There she is,” Daddy boomed, his voice so loud. No wonder all of the sons had such barking tones.
Travis beamed at his mother as she smiled at the love of her life. He wondered if Shay would ever look at him like that. Things had been going okay between them since the Halloween party and the launch of her new tent line.
He’d seen her every day, and he sure did like that. She hadn’t left town, and she didn’t have plans to. He felt like they’d climbed Mount Everest, and he could see everything from the top of it.
The problem was, he hadn’t taken a step to leave the pinnacle of the mountain yet. He wasn’t quite sure which way to go next.
“Happy birthday, Mama,” Rissa said, and that caused Lee and Will to join in. Will had tied a balloon—all yellow and orange, Mama’s two favorite colors—to the back of each chair on the dining room table, and Lee had just put the plate of bacon and sausage in the middle of all of that.
“Thank you,” Mama said, accepting hugs and kisses from all of them, even Spencer. She met Travis’s eyes over the top of Ford’s head, who she still held in her arms. “No Shayla this morning?”
“She’s comin’,” he said. “A little late is all.”
“Grandma,” Ford said, looking up at her. “Come open my present first.”
“Oh, okay, child,” she said, and Travis’s heart filled with love for the people in the room. His phone chimed just as Ford picked up the small package, and he checked it.
“Shay’s here,” he said. “I’ll be right back.”
“Waffles are done,” Will said, his voice guarded.
“We’re eating,” Lee said, his eyes like daggers in Travis’s face.
“Go ahead,” Travis said, wanting to roll his eyes. They weren’t going to eat instantly. Ford was having Mama open his present, for crying out loud. His brothers probably knew Travis wouldn’t just open the door and let Shay in. He’d step out onto the porch and take her into his arms first. Kiss her a little. Murmur how glad he was she’d driven all this way, and that he was glad to see her.
So what? he wondered to himself. He could miss a present-opening and a prayer over waffles, eggs, and bacon.
He pulled open the door to find Shay struggling up the steps with an enormous box in her hands. It had been wrapped in yellow and silver paper, and Travis’s surprise spurred him to move faster. “What in the world?” he asked as he reached her and took the box from her.
It was shockingly heavy, and he nearly dropped it. “What is this thing?”
“It’s a birthday gift for your mother, Travis.” Shay’s voice told him she didn’t appreciate his tone. He couldn’t quite see her face past the ginormous gift, but she opened the door for him and held it while he wrangled the package inside the farmhouse.
“Wow,” Lee said as Travis’s bootsteps landed heavily on the kitchen tile. “Over here, bro.”
Travis went in the general direction of his brother’s voice, and the two of them hefted the gift onto the sideboard, where a few other gifts had been set. Mama sat in her chair, a bright orange balloon floating behind her as she looked down at the deck of cards in her hand.
Her eyes shone with tears as she looked at Ford, who stood right at her side. She put one arm around him and hugged him tightly while he continued to talk about the game he’d bought her.
“Foraging,” Lee said almost under his breath. “He thinks Mama would like it. It’s all he talks about.”
“I’ve played it with him,” Travis said. “It’s fun. Mama will like it.”
Lee still wore a thundercloud in his expression, which was probably for how cold the waffles would be before they could eat.
“All right,” Daddy said, a touch of impatience in his voice too. “It’s time to eat. Mama wants to pray on her birthday. Rissa will serve the waffles hot, and we’ll do presents afterward.” He shot a look at Lee, who glared back.
Travis wanted to bellow that no one had done anything wrong. Couldn’t they all get along for Mama’s sake? He shook his head and moved over to Shay’s side, slinging his arm around her waist as Mama’s voice raised toward the heavens.
“Thank you for another year,” she said. “Thank you for family, especially a good husband, good sons, and good daughters. Thank you for Ford in our lives. Bless this food, and we appreciate having it and each other. Amen.”
Travis’s eyes flew open, and he didn’t say “Amen” the way he normally did. Mama usually prayed for much longer, and she hadn’t asked for anything. He realized in that moment that Mama didn’t want for anything, though he recalled her words from only a few minutes ago.
I wish the Lord would take me.
“All right,” Rissa yelled before anyone could say anything. “There are four waffles here. Mama’s got one. Ford, Lee, and Daddy. You’re up.”
The meal passed in relative ease, something Travis could get used to. He laughed and chatted with Daddy, noting that Will and Lee had their heads bent together for quite a few minutes. They spoke in hushed voices, and when Travis caught Will’s eye and raised his eyebrows, Will only shook his head.
Shay didn’t say much, and Travis wasn’t all that great with drawing people into a conversation, especially her. She had a stubborn streak, as Travis had learned, and he didn’t need her ire directed at him.
“Presents,” Lee said, and Travis picked up his raspberry-and-cream plate and then reached for Shay’s. Rissa and Spence helped clear the table while Will and Lee moved the presents in front of Mama.
Travis kept one eye on the large, legal-sized envelope which contained the cruise tickets, his heartbeat skipping every other second.
“Relax,” Rissa said while the kitchen sink ran, covering their conversation with the sound of water rinsing plates. “She’s going to love the cruise.”
“You think so?” Travis asked. “Lee acted like it was a terrible idea.”
“Have you ever seen Lee in a pair of swimming trunks?” Rissa gave Travis a dry look as she shook her head. “He doesn’t know how to relax.”
“I can’t wait to sit poolside and sip a fruity drink,” Spencer said, grinning as he put another load of plates in the sink to be washed.
“Come on, everyone,” Will called over his shoulder, and Rissa turned off the water. She and Travis joined the others back at the table.
Travis reached for Shay’s hand and tried to catch her eye. Her cheeks held a bit of a flush, and she kept her face turned away from his. “What’s wrong?” he asked.
“Nothing,” she said.
He leaned closer. “It’s something.”
“I shouldn’t have brought my present,” she said.
“Do the big one first,” Daddy said.
“No,” Shay practically yelled. Everyone looked at her, including Travis. She blinked, those long lashes fluttering furiously.
“You can open mine first,” Daddy said, the words somewhat stilted. He handed Mama a small box that definitely held jewelry, and Travis had no idea when his father had found time to leave the farm and go pick something out.
But he had, because Mama opened a beautiful eggplant-colored box that held a silver necklace inside, a big, teardrop-shaped gem hanging from it.
“Wayne,” Mama gasped, looking from the diamond to her life partner. “It’s too much. I don’t even leave the house.”
“You don’t need to leave the house.” Daddy got up, his smile utterly perfect. The way he loved Mama was perfect. Travis hoped to have what they did one day, and he looked at Shay as if she might be the one on the receiving end of a jewelry box in thirty or so years.
She rubbed her free hand up the back of her neck. He frowned and squeezed her hand. She glanced at him and gave a short shake of her head.
Daddy secured the pendant around Mama’s neck, and it was either the huge box from Shay or the envelope. Mama made her decision silently and started peeling off the yellow and silver paper on Shay’s gift.
“Oh, ma’am…”
But the paper had come off already, revealing a picture of a young woman wearing a blinding smile and an itsy bitsy bikini. She floated down the river, her long, tan legs flung over the side of a floatie.
“Oh…” Mama’s enthusiastic ripping of the wrapping paper slowed.
“What is that?” Will blurted out.
“They’re river rafts,” Daddy said.
“They’re not river rafts,” Travis said. “Come on, Daddy.”
“It’s for the pool,” Lee said. “Ford has stuff like this at his mother’s.”
“And our place,” Travis said. “For the pond.”
“Why would I be getting in the pond?” Mama asked.
Shay stood and reached for the box, which held two of the river rafts. Pool rafts. Whatever. “It’s fine,” she said. “It’s stupid.”
Things clicked together inside Travis’s mind. He covered her hand with his, but she couldn’t move those heavy rafts herself. “It’s not stupid. They’re for the—”
“You’re going to ruin it,” Will said.
“It’s already ruined,” Travis snapped back. “What do you want me to do?”
“It’s not ruined,” Rissa said. “Travis.” His name came out in a hiss, and she looked at Shay.
His heart sunk. “It’s fine,” he said, reaching for the envelope. “Open this, Mama. Then it’ll make sense.”
She took the envelope, but Shay turned away. “Shay,” Travis said at the same time Mama ripped open the envelope. His girlfriend headed for the exit, and Travis tore right in half. “Shay,” he called after her.
Mama pulled the papers out of the envelope. Travis watched her, but the weight of all of his siblings’ eyes weighed heavily on him. Even Daddy looked more at him than Mama.
“A cruise?” Mama asked, her face lighting up as she looked up from the papers. “You guys are taking me on a cruise?”
“All of us,” Travis said. “We’re all goin’ for your birthday, Mama. Over Christmas.”
Pure delight etched its way around her eyes. “This is wonderful.” She hugged the papers to her chest. “What about the farm?” She met Daddy’s eyes. “You never leave the farm.”
“We have good men and women who can manage without us for a few days,” Daddy said, beaming at his wife. “It was Travis’s idea. He met with the travel agent in town and put it all together.”
“Get over here, my boy.” Mama reached for Travis with both arms, and he hurried around the table. He hugged his mother, his eyes pressing closed for a couple of moments. When he opened them, he looked toward the wide doorway that led into the living room and then out the front door.
He hoped to find Shay standing there watching. She wasn’t.
“Go find Shay,” Mama said, releasing him. “Wayne, help me up so I can get these floaties out. They look amazing, and we’re going to need them on our cruise.”
Travis grinned at Lee and Will, who smiled back. They’d all do anything for their mother, but Travis finally felt vindicated. Neither of his brothers had thought a cruise was a good idea, but Mama clearly thought differently.
Now, he just had to find Shay, figure out what was going on, and then ask her to go to Cozumel, Grand Cayman, and Jamaica with him.
21
Shayla pressed her back into the west side of the farmhouse, Travis’s voice calling her name reverberating through her head. He said it again, and she pushed away from the perfectly white siding.
Everything about the family, this farm, this fantasy life was so, well, fantastical. Shay didn’t deserve any of them, and she couldn’t go on the Christmas cruise with Travis and his family.
He hadn’t asked her to yet, but he would. She knew he would. She had to come clean with him. She rounded the corner of the house, and he stopped jogging across the lawn. He froze the way she suspected deer did when they perked their ears up to listen for danger.
“There you are,” he said, thawing quickly and hurrying toward her again. “You didn’t have to leave. Mama loves the floaties now that she knows about the cruise.”
“I didn’t mean to ruin anything.”
“I should’ve had her open the cruise envelope first,” he said. “It’s my fault.” He reached her, but Shay didn’t want his comfort. She still let him take her into his arms. She didn’t melt the way she normally did, and she felt it. Travis must be able to as well.
“Tell me what’s goin’ on,” he said. “You’ve been, I don’t know. Weird or aloof or something for a week or so now.”
“I’m just really busy at work,” she said, her standard excuse.
