RJ Book 16 ebook First Steps, page 18
The Order of the Ditch for maritime personnel who have passed through the Panama Canal.
The Magellan’s Strait Jacket Club for all maritime personnel who transited the Straits of Magellan.
The Order of the Rock is for maritime personnel who have transited the Strait of Gibraltar.
The Safari to Suez for maritime personnel who have passed through the Suez Canal.
The Golden Shellback is for maritime personnel who have crossed the point where the Equator crosses the International Date Line.
The Order of the Sand Squid is for maritime personnel attached to army units or in the Middle East.
The Emerald Shellback or Royal Diamond Shellback is for maritime personnel who cross at 0 degrees off West Africa (where the Equator crosses the prime meridian )
The Realm of the Czars for maritime personnel who crossed into the Black Sea.
The Order of Magellan for maritime personnel who circumnavigated the Earth.
The Order of the Lakes is for maritime personnel who have sailed on all five Great Lakes.
The Order of the Spanish Main for maritime personnel who have sailed in the Caribbean.
The Order of the Sparrow is for maritime personnel who sailed on all seven seas. (North Atlantic, South Atlantic, North Pacific, South Pacific, Indian, Arctic, and Antarctic Oceans)
The Order of the Ebony Shellback for maritime personnel who have crossed the Equator on Lake Victoria.
Popeye had one thing that I didn’t. He had all the tattoos for the awards. I mentioned that I should have them to May-ling. That got shot down quickly.
Even if we obtained the Royal Order together, Popeye and I could never equal the SS Warimoo.
In December 1899. the SS Warrimoo was ferrying passengers between Canada and Australia.
While at sea Captain John Phillips realized he had the opportunity to do something extraordinary. He commanded that the ship steered for the point where the equator crossed the International Date Line.
The ship arrived in time to straddle that point as the clock struck midnight on December 30, 1899.
The forward part of the ship was in the Southern Hemisphere and the middle of summer. The rear part of the ship was in the Northern Hemisphere and the middle of winter.
Half of the ship was on 30 December 1899, while the forward half skipped a day ahead and into 1 January 1900.
The ship was not only in two different days, two different months, two different years, two different seasons, and two different hemispheres but also in two different centuries, all simultaneously.
If we lived until 1999, we might try that. Not only would we repeat all of the previous records, but we would also be in two millenniums simultaneously!
It would be ten thousand years of the Decem millennium before that record could be broken. We would have to invite the Guinness Book of Records people along in 1999.
Mary, the bright one in the family, told us she could earn all of the above in one day. She would have ships posted at each point and time, then hop from ship to ship in a GC craft.
Spoilsport! I told her I would stamp all her certificates, but they would have asterisks.
“What will the asterisks say?”
“Cheater!”
Mary pouted so much that Mum told her a rooster would sit on her lip. That brought us a giggle, and all was well.
We had some time before the official event, so we sat around and talked about possible awards for visiting locations in the Solar System.
Mum and Dad had one more present for me. It was a large golden key cut like an old-style skeleton key. Tradition in England was to present a golden key on one twenty-first birthday. The key signified that you were now an adult and had the freedoms and privileges thereof. The normal birthday key was a cutout on a birthday card. I had come of age.
It was fun and silly until someone said we should have an Olympus Mons for climbing the mountain. That wasn’t what shut us up; it was Mary’s comment.
“So if someone climbed a mountain on Venus. It would be the Mons Venus award.”
I hope she didn’t understand what she just said. After much coughing and quick sips of juice and coffee, the crowd broke up.
We moved as a group to the main commons area. We were right on time. I thought there would be other people on their way, but there wasn’t anyone on our main road.
When we arrived at the commons, I understood. It looked like the entire colony, which now stood at a little over two thousand people, had shown up early.
Our five-man band struck Happy Birthday when I was spotted, and the crowd sang to me.
I shook hands along the way. There were cameras all over the place. There was even a TV camera set up. I didn’t realize that my birthday would be such a big deal. Later I figured out Rick Jackson’s birthday wasn’t a big deal. The King of Luna and the Solar Researches' birthday was a big deal.
There were tables laden with food and drink for all. I ascended the stage, normally used for outdoor plays and events. Immediately below the stage, the center table had a huge birthday cake set up.
It was so large it seemed to defy gravity. Mum told me the cake was sitting on its GC pad so it wouldn’t collapse. I wondered if we could have it declared the largest birthday cake ever.
May-ling and I sat in the center positions of the main table. Then the speeches began. I was shocked when all five of them proved to be short and to the point.
The last one made by our temporary leader was the best. He was the temporary mayor because we had no real government. His job was to lead the people I had appointed to create a constitution and the basic form of government for our colony. The only provision I insisted upon was that we would be a constitutional monarchy with me as King. I had the last word as long as I financially supported the colony.
After the colony had an elected government and a tax code, would I surrender the power of the purse? The government funds were not to be confused with my fortune.
Chapter 37
The last speech was a shocker! The interim government speaker ended with a message to me. He announced that an income tax had been voted on and passed. It was to be a five percent flat tax.
We had taken our first steps as a country.
Looking at previous royal birthday celebrations, I liked the idea of the King, me, giving a present to his citizens. It was an open secret that I had certificates printed which would give the recipient a ten percent reduction of their taxes for the year they were turned in.
They had a time limit of twenty-five years. Since all citizens would receive one certificate, there would be children just born that would receive one.
The interim government could take a hint. I had been pushing for the tax to be enacted. Once the tax was laid out, people could decide if they would be taxpayers or not. Those who paid taxes got a vote in our affairs. Those who didn't choose to support the colony in our endeavors would have no vote.
This plan would prevent a welfare class from voting us into poverty. Thomas Jefferson would approve.
Once a person decided to be a taxpayer, they were locked into it for life. A person who elected not to pay taxes could change their mind once.
This rule would prevent tax avoidance by gaming the system.
Each certificate was issued to a specific person in their name. While there were over two thousand people in the colony, many were personnel with embassies or companies hired to perform special tasks.
One thousand five hundred fifty-four certificates had been issued.
Now that the tax was in place, people could declare whether or not they would be taxpayers. Those that choose to be taxpayers would vote for their representatives in the new government.
The election season would be a short two weeks. There would only be ten representatives in our new parliament. The representatives would elect one of their members as the first Prime Minister.
I didn’t think any parties would be formed for this first election, but it wouldn’t take long before they were formed.
Unlike the Queen of England, I had retained foreign affairs and the military.
Since we were a small group, the interim government had arranged for people to be able to declare their preference of being a taxpayer or not.
I cut the huge birthday cake that looked like a GC craft. Small figures on the board represented my family and me.
As ice cream and slices of cake were handed out, it was announced that we now had one thousand three hundred and forty-two taxpayers.
The floor was open to questions. I could see these taking hours.
The first question was a doozy.
“Can we sell our tax rebate certificates?”
This question was immediately dumped into my lap. Without time to think, I responded, “Yes, they can. If a child's certificate is sold, the money will be held for the child and not go into their parent's pocket.”
Once I gave my answer, the person who had asked the question held his certificate and asked, “What are your bids.”
Before I could head it off, a bidding war had started.
I could have shut it off, but I decided to let it go. The first certificate sold for one thousand and fifty lunar dollars. That amount was a small fortune.
As soon as the certificate was sold, I took over.
“All right, folks. Let's do this right. I know that Pete is also an auctioneer in the interim government. Form a line, and he will take over.
Thirty-two people lined up, fifteen of them children.
The price bid held up. The going rate turned out to be around one thousand lunar dollars. People had to owe taxes on over ten thousand dollars for this to be worth their while.
People must be optimistic about our future.
It didn’t take long for a professional auctioneer to run the show. Once settlement had been made to both parties, the certificate was registered in the new owner's name.
While all this was going on, I realized why my family was so interested in everywhere that Popeye had been. They were wasting time so the interim government could arrive at and vote on the new tax rate.
Two people stood there looking a little lost when it looked like the auction was complete, and all was settled. Tears were pouring down the ten-year-old girl's cheeks.
May-ling and I went over to them to see what the problem was.
Her mother said, “We need at least fifteen hundred dollars to pay our rent and feed us for the next month. The rent is due today. We hoped we could use Cindy’s money to help out, but your rules say they must be held for her.”
I was at a loss. May-ling stepped up.
“What do you do?”
“That’s the problem. I’m a seamstress, and there is no need for one in the colony.”
“How did you end up here?”
“My soon-to-be ex-husband brought us up here, then abandoned us for one of the Space Ladies. They both returned to earth, and now I can’t even afford a ticket home.”
May-ling turned and beckoned Mary over.
“Mary, I remember you saying you wanted to have special clothes made here on the Moon for your collection.”
“That’s right; it would be very high-end. Only originals handmade here on the Moon.”
May-ling turned to the mother, “I’m sorry I didn’t get your name.”
“Heather Johnson.”
“Mary, Heather is a seamstress?”
Mary looked a little uncomfortable at this.
Mary asked Mrs. Johnson, “This is embarrassing to ask like this but are you any good?”
“I made the dresses that Cindy and I are wearing.”
“Do you mind?”
At that, Mary felt the fabric, examed the seams, peeked at the liners, and checked out the fit of the dresses.
“You’re hired,” Mary announced.
Heather got a faint look but managed to say thank you.
“Would ten thousand dollars a month be enough?”
“Oh my… gosh, yes.”
I told Mary, “I think an immediate hiring bonus would be in order.”
“How much?”
“I think a month's pay would be about right.”
Mary didn’t quibble. She pulled a folded check out of her little purse and wrote it at once.
“Your first job, Heather, is finding a place to set up shop. I think the designs shall be one of my company's names, but you will be the maker. The accounting people will figure out the best way to do it. We want to legally avoid old money bags tax as much as possible.”
I’m pretty sure sororicide is against the law on the Moon. Maybe I could change the laws. Please wait a minute. We didn’t have any laws yet. It was a Royal fiat! Off with her head! Or better yet, tickle her until she pees.
I thanked Mary and May-ling for taking care of what could have become a sticky wicket. I did write a note to check into Mr. Johnson and his Space Lady. At best, the Space Lady would get a dishonorable discharge.
The guy was looking at child support in his future, even if I had to extradite him to the Moon to serve a prison sentence. Since we didn’t have a prison system, maybe I could hire one on earth.
The rest of my day was spent watching sack races, egg-on-spoon races, and other outdoor festival games.
While these were going on, many people came over to me and wished me many happy returns. There was a lot of casual conversation, but people seemed to respect my day and didn’t make any serious requests.
Well, there was one that I took under serious consideration. One of the younger guys wanted me to invite the Swedish all-girl volleyball team for an exhibition match. He had pictures of them playing in bikinis.
I was thinking about it until my wife slapped me on the back of my head. It reminded me of what Dad used to do to the Harmon kid.
“I must pass on this. My advisors don’t think it will help international relations.”
The kid went away disappointed. May-ling told me that I had made a wise decision. I wondered if we could get Dad to sponsor it through one of his newspapers.
I know you can’t read other people's minds, so I wondered when Mum told me not to think about it.
Meanwhile, two young ladies were having a good time. Mary and Cindy were rating all the guys their age. I kept track of the high scorers. They might have to be exiled from the Moon.
Pretty soon, the two came over to Mum and asked if they could have a dance party. Considering my little sister is a genius, she didn’t play it well.
Mum told her, of course, they could have an all-girls party. Mum and Heather gave each other a look and shook their heads. Their problems were just starting.
At least Mary didn’t ask if Magic Mike could dance with them.
Chapter 38
I was given a list of all the world leaders who had sent birthday wishes. I thought about all the letter signing I would have to do. Not only that, each letter though short, would have to be an individual composition. It wouldn’t do to send a form letter.
The party continued all day long. A lot of people were having a good time. Later I was besieged by people wanting favors who thinly disguised themselves as well-wishers.
People who had good ideas and were willing to work for them got a fair hearing. Those that wanted a handout got sent away. They didn’t know yet that we didn’t need any freeloaders on the Moon and that they would be sent back to earth.
There were contests and prizes for all ages. My favorite was watching the little kids, six and under, dig in a mulch pile for money. It was only for lower denomination coins.
There were no gold loonies worth about four hundred dollars US or Siver ones worth five dollars US. We had to issue the lower coins in decimal values for everyday commerce.
We had copper pennies, and everything else was minted with silver and nickel. There was enough silver in each coin to match the face value. A dime would have one-tenth of an ounce of silver, so ten of them equal a one-ounce silver dollar. This ratio was true for the nickel, dime, quarter, a half dollar, and silver dollar.
I had almost no input on the designs, which had me on the dollar, May-ling on the half, Denny on the quarter, Mary on the dime, and Eddie on the nickel. The penny had May-ling and me together.
When I asked why Mary was on the dime while Eddie was on the nickel, it was explained they went by the physical size of the coin rather than age. Not sure I agree with that, but you can only manage so much.
While Denny and Eddie were acknowledged as Princes, Princess Mary had worldwide recognition. That made sense. Who wouldn’t love a cute ten-year-old financial genius who also was a true genius and was changing the world for the better?
Her coin wasn’t even called a dime. It was simply a Mary. It was the most minted coin of our Kingdom. Every young lady in the world hoarded her Marys. It didn’t help when Mary replaced the penny in loafers. They still called them penny loafers but only stylish with Mary’s in them.
Her dress company then had the same concept for purses, wallets, and anything else. These Marys didn’t come back into circulation, so we had to have more minted to meet demand.
Then some independents made necklaces and bracelets out of Mary’s. These soon became mass-produced items. A small rise in silver price was attributed to the demand for Mary’s. We had a for-profit mint outside of Philadelphia producing our coins.
The mint was busy with our coins. They quit producing specialty items that they flogged to the public as collectibles. Our main coins, the Lunar silver and gold coins plus ingots, were still cast by the Australian government.
I discovered that Denny could get dates just by handing one of his quarters to a young lady. I made a point of not making any two-bit jokes.
Eddie was still so wrapped up in his racing world that he appeared oblivious to it all.
May-ling ended up issuing her coin in China as part of their official currency. In China, the coin was as popular as Mary’s were elsewhere.
My silver dollar had almost no demand as a collectible. It was used the same as a US dollar bill but had no other function. I didn’t know if this should bum me out. I decided to remain above it all. It didn’t bother me. Right.
