Light My Fire (Running In Circles Book 2), page 24
Owen had been assaulted by his boss.
He was in therapy, and the sheriff had been called so they could file a report, and the fucker had been fired and run out of town, but Fitz wasn’t ready to disappear from their lives when Owen needed him. The situation was delicate. For now, Nellie was asking for space, but he knew that wouldn’t last.
Still, Antoine was worth trying for. He was worth flying out there and seeing if there was anything left to salvage. Anything left to start building something new.
He’d come to that conclusion the morning he woke up on the couch, half-hanging off the cushions, an imprint of a prosthetic hand pressed into his cheek that lasted almost the entire day. He woke up with a promise on his lips, one he meant to keep. So, he bought the ticket, then talked to Knox, and then called his friends.
And now they were at the airport.
“You’re not going to lose us. You’re not going to lose anything,” Roman told him, reaching between the seats to take his shoulder.
“Yeah.” He was shit-scared and ready to bolt, but he believed Roman.
He made himself stand on shaky legs, and he grabbed his carry on, and then he left his friends behind because if they crossed that threshold with him, he might not be strong enough to let go if he needed to. If Antoine needed him to.
He knew what Antoine wanted. He wanted someone who was willing to put him ahead of all the bullshit that kept everyone else back. Antoine needed to be important, and he was. To Fitz, he was. To Fitz, he was worth putting one foot in front of the other and entering the building.
To him, Antoine was worth the twisted stomach and the shaking hands through take off, the long flight, and careening over a wall of sea and rocks until he was safely on the ground again.
The landing was more terrifying than the take-off, though the whole flight had his stomach in so many knots, he wasn’t sure if he’d ever be able to untangle. But he made it in one piece, without the plane falling apart, without losing his mind. They flew over a vast bay with dark water, over an outcropping of rocks that met still water, and then they were on the ground.
Fitz’s knees were almost knocking together as he scrambled off the plane, but once he was on solid ground, he calmed. He had one mission, and that was to convince the love of his life that the future was worth living with him in it. He didn’t have a lot of confidence in himself, and he was already second guessing his decision to just show up there, but it was a gesture.
Aksel and Roman had a point.
Antoine was worth a gesture.
He had a single text thread on his phone he was using as his lifeline, and he checked it as he waited in the line for the rental cars.
Fitz: Hey, can we talk? Or are you at work right now?
Antoine: I’m actually at home today but I’m in the middle of something. Can I text you when I have time for a chat?
Fitz: You can text me anytime.
Antoine: Thanks.
It wasn’t a declaration of love. It was proof of nothing more than Antoine hadn’t decided to kick Fitz out of his life despite three and a half long weeks of silence. It was a small beacon of hope in his sea of despair, but it was enough. Fitz felt like he was losing his mind as the line barely moved, but soon enough he was handing over his card and jumping into a little car with GPS in the dash.
He pulled up the address he’d managed to get out of Remi, with the help of his husband who apparently had a soft spot for tragic romance stories. Fitz vowed to never sell out the mayor for breaking codes of ethics and probably the actual law, and swore to be in his debt forever.
That was also worth it.
Fitz was wracked with nerves as he started to navigate the busy, winding streets of San Francisco. Having never ventured much farther than Florida, the place felt foreign. The weather was nice, and the town was old-world which was comfortable and familiar, and he could see why Antoine appreciated it.
In the distance, Fitz could see a wall of fog rolling in, and he paused at the top of a hill to stare before a car behind him laid on the horn and he moved again. Antoine lived just outside of the main city, on a street where every house was pressed up against the other. They were like sardines in a tin, with wide garages, pointed roofs, a single window looking over the street.
He stayed a few houses down as he rolled to a stop, then he took in a shuddering breath and pulled his phone out of his pocket. His thumb hovered over Antoine’s number, then he closed his eyes and tapped the screen.
It rang twice before Antoine picked up, and Fitz’s heart hammered wildly against his chest. “Hey, listen, I don’t mean to be a dick but…”
“Not much chance of success in that, Hollywood.” He let the words roll off his tongue, hoping that the sharpness of them might be a balm to whatever wound was open between them.
Antoine was silent a moment, then he laughed. “Fine. Whatever. Where’s the fire, Smokey?”
Fitz grinned widely and laid his head back on the headrest. He took his foot off the gas and rolled another house closer, and then another. He could see Antoine’s address plate on his garage, the numbers engraved on a brass plaque. His car was in the driveway, a luxury SUV that he was willing to bet had all the bells and whistles.
“Fitz?”
He swallowed thickly. “I miss you.”
Antoine’s laugh was softer, maybe a little sad. “Yeah? It’s only been a couple of weeks.”
“Three weeks and five days,” Fitz all but whispered. “I was such a fucking idiot.”
“Yes.” Antoine was not going to pull punches, but Fitz needed it. “We both were.”
“I was scared. I was…when I pulled you out of the water, it made me realized how fragile this all was. Not just you, but me. My heart. I’ve been pushing everyone away for so long.”
“Like your ex?” Antoine asked.
Fitz scoffed. “No, not like Shaun. I thought what I felt was love until I set eyes on you.”
“I,” Antoine said, then sighed. “Can we talk about this later? I’m kind of in the middle of…”
“No.” Fitz closed the distance between himself and the house, then turned off the car and got out. He walked around to the front, then leaned against the hood and stared up at Antoine’s window. “Look outside.”
“What?” Antoine asked, his voice suddenly shaky.
Fitz chuckled softly. “I said, look outside. And look down.”
“Oh my God,” Antoine breathed out, and then Fitz saw him, his face pressed to the glass. “You went full rom-com.” His voice sounded choked with emotion.
“I did.” Fitz passed a hand down his face, then gave him a pathetic wave. “If you want me to leave…”
“Shut the fuck up,” Antoine snapped. He was gone from the window, and his breathing was heavy. “God just…shut the fuck up. Why are you always so…”
The call went silent just a second before the door on the side of the house flew open. Fitz felt rooted to the spot just before Antoine was there, flinging his arms around Fitz, sending them sprawling into the rental car.
He had only a moment to appreciate the warmth of Antoine, the presence of him, before a mouth was on his. Antoine’s fingers were almost cruel in their desperation as they wound into his hair, yanking the tie from his bun then twisting the strands around them.
Fitz grunted, wanting it softer, but not willing to change a single second of it. He was in love. Shit, he was so, so in love. “We’re going to get arrested for public indecency.”
Antoine laughed, pulling back, but just enough so he could speak right up against Fitz’s mouth. “My apartment is a mess, but you should come upstairs.”
Fitz nodded, letting Antoine twist their fingers together, and he pulled him up from the car and toward the door. Fitz had never been in a building like it, but it looked like Antoine shared a main hall with his neighbor. Two sets of stairs veered off into opposite directions, and Antoine took the one on the right, hurrying up the steps to an open door.
His place was everything like Fitz had imagined. For all the mess he claimed it was, it was neat as a pin. There was some décor, but mostly bookshelves and furniture arranged just so. But there were other things too—boxes, bags, a suitcase laid out on the sofa.
Fitz swallowed thickly. “Are you going somewhere? Did you get a new assignment or…?”
Antoine turned and bit his lower lip, his eyes narrow and full of hesitation. “I quit my job.”
Fitz stared for far too long before speaking again. “You…”
“I quit my job. I talked to Aksel and Roman before I left, and they just made fucking sense, okay? I’m falling for you, as ridiculous as that probably is. I fell in love with you, and in love with that damn town, so I came back here and quit my job, and I finally got an offer on my condo so I can leave.”
Fitz didn’t speak again. He just closed the distance between them and gathered Antoine into his arms. Like before, he wedged a thigh between his spread legs, lifting him high onto his toes. His hands curled at Antoine’s waist, holding him steady as his mouth bit and licked and devoured his lover’s.
“Bed? Do you…is there a bed?”
Antoine laughed. “Yes, there’s a fucking bed. I haven’t gotten that far yet.”
Fitz grunted his annoyance, but he let Antoine free just long enough to take his hand and drag him down a small hallway and into a surprisingly large bedroom. His bed was high, blankets mussed, closet half-open to reveal button-ups and ties. The entire place smelled like him, and as much as Fitz wanted to go home, he also never wanted to leave.
Deciding now was the moment to be brave—to take the lead—he grabbed Antoine by the hips and lifted him. Antoine let out a small gasp, but he curled his legs around Fitz’s waist as the larger man laid him out on the bed and dragged his hands upward to cup around the sides of his neck. He hoisted himself all the way onto the bed, knees on either side of Antoine’s hips, then he leaned forward and brushed their noses together.
“I’m in love with you. I don’t know when it happened,” he whispered, moving one hand to cup Antoine’s face, “I don’t know how it happened, because everything you did pissed me off.”
“So romantic,” Antoine breathed out with a smirk.
Fitz ran a thumb over his plump bottom lip, then leaned in to bite it gently. “I’m trying here.”
“I know.” Antoine went soft all over. “I know. This is…you’re here, and I wasn’t sure you ever wanted to see me again.”
Fitz buried his face in Antoine’s neck and let himself breathe, tried to calm his heart. “We can stay, if you want. If Savannah isn’t enough. I’ll stay with you. There are plenty of fire stations for me to work at. I have a good employment history, I’m certified, I can…”
“Ethan.” His voice was a command, and Fitz pulled back to look at him. “I meant what I said when I told you I was falling for Savannah. I want all of it. I want to…” He closed his eyes and took a breath. “I want to go home. I want you to be my home.”
Fitz surged in again and kissed him. Biting kisses, rough, as his hands ripped at Antoine’s clothes with the same harshness Antoine had wanted every time they were together in Savannah. He didn’t stop until Antoine curled his hands around Fitz’s wrist and squeezed.
“Softer,” he said. He licked his lips, echoing Fitz’s words all those weeks ago. “Slower.”
Fitz’s dick was hard enough to cut glass, so he reached between them and freed his erection from his jeans before going for Antoine’s trousers. They slid away easily, falling into a pile on the floor, and Fitz made fast work of the rest of their things until they were skin to skin, sweating, and searing hot, and perfect.
“I don’t know where my stuff is,” Antoine admitted, groaning as he thrust his erection against the long, hot length of Fitz.
“That’s okay. This, I just want to feel you,” Fitz murmured, making Antoine moan. “This won’t take long.” He was moving on instinct, on a desire to claim, to mark Antoine with his come, to leave bruising proof on his perfect skin.
“I need you too,” Antoine told him. “Please kiss me.”
Fitz didn’t hesitate. He aligned himself better against Antoine’s dick, then curled his hand around it. With the upstroke, he leaned in and slotted their mouths together. It was nothing like their kisses before, which were desperate and on borrowed time. This was the promise of a future.
This felt like an actual forever.
He was hurtling toward the edge, Antoine’s own hand guiding his just a little faster, squeezing just a little harder. A sob lodged in his throat, and when he came, he cried out against Antoine’s mouth, his entire body shuddering.
Antoine followed in the quiet space between them, his orgasm muffled by Fitz’s massive body. But Fitz could feel it, the hot spill between them that mingled with his own. His hand slowed, and he gently removed it, placing his palm on the bed so he could push up and look down at the man beneath him.
Antoine was smiling, a little flushed in the cheeks, and sweating. His eyes were glazed with desire, but his hand was steady as he touched Fitz’s cheek, rubbing his thumb along his jawline. “You’re the love of my life.”
Fitz’s eyes closed and he nuzzled into the touch. He didn’t have words to give back, but they weren’t needed. Antoine understood, held him close, kissed his neck. And in that moment, he knew, wherever Antoine would be, that would be home.
The End
Grab State of Mind, the next book in the Running in Circles series and check out the story of Wilder and Luca.
You can read Marcel and Colton’s book HERE. Temptation, is the second book of the Irons and Works spinoff series, Breaking the Rules.
Join EM’s Patreon for as little as $1 a month to read the serial romance series BrewBiz, a Deaf Cafe, found family romance set in a small west coast town.
ALSO BY E.M. LINDSEY
Broken Chains
The Carnal Tower
Hit and Run
Irons and Works
The Sin Bin: West Coast
Malicious Compliance
Collaborations with Other Authors
Foreign Translations
AudioBooks
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
E.M. Lindsey is a non-binary writer who lives in the southeast United States, close to the water where their heart lies.
E.M. Lindsey, Light My Fire (Running In Circles Book 2)
