“Actually, it’s our anniversary,” I said. “We wanted it just to be us tonight.” Our dinner and evening was already ruined but we could salvage what was left.

  “Oh.” Conrad nodded slowly. “Now it makes sense. I knew you were hiding something behind the door.”

  “Yeah,” I said.

  “No, let’s go out,” Heath said. “I want Conrad to be there.”

  “You’re sure?” I asked.

  “More than sure.” Heath patted Conrad on the back. “It’s exactly what I want for our anniversary.”

  “Really?” I asked.

  “Yeah,” he said. “Honestly, it’s the best anniversary I’ve ever had.” He gave me a look full of pride and joy. He stared at me like I was the only person in the world, and affection shined bright like the orange blood sun just before it set over the horizon.

  ***

  The three of us sat at a table in the bar. The music played lightly in the background and people mingled quietly. Conrad didn’t seem to be scoping for dates. His attention was on us while he drank his beer.

  “So…how long as this been going on?” he asked.

  “Over six months,” I said.

  “Shit, that’s a long time to keep a secret,” Conrad. “I’m surprised you pulled it off.”

  “I think it would have been more obvious if people knew I was gay,” I said. “Since they didn’t, they didn’t notice the signs.”

  “I’m a little confused,” Conrad said. “You just don’t…act gay.” He turned to Heath. “Neither do you. You know what I mean? You don’t act feminine or talk with forced high-pitch voices. You both like sports and…act like men.”

  “We definitely don’t fit the stereotype,” Heath said calmly. “For every feminine stereotypical gay guy, there’s a normal gay guy. A lot of people don’t realize that.”

  “I definitely didn’t realize it,” Conrad said. He turned to me. “So, have you always known but you were in denial or what?”

  I thought about my answer for a long time. “I think I knew when I slept with Jasmine. I was so determined to take her on a date and treat her right. I was being overly sensitive about the whole thing. And, I think I’ve always tried to be like my dad that I never let myself entertain the idea of being attracted to men. Then I met Heath and…it was there from the beginning.”

  Conrad nodded. “That’s crazy. I never would have suspected it in a million years.”

  “Neither would I,” I said honestly.

  “So, are you guys in love?” Conrad asked.

  “Very much so,” I said without hesitation.

  “So when we went out on that double date a few weeks ago…”

  “I didn’t want to be there,” I said. “But I couldn’t figure out how to get out of it.”

  Conrad looked uncomfortable. “I’m sorry…I didn’t know.”

  “Don’t apologize,” Heath said immediately. “It wasn’t your fault.”

  I knew it was mine.

  “So, do you guys want to get married?” Conrad asked.

  “We haven’t talked about it,” I said. “But down the road, yeah.”

  “Cool,” Conrad said. He drank his beer again.

  Was he really being this cool about it? It was like it wasn’t a big deal. Why was I so terrified of telling him? It was so nice to be myself with my best friend. I could talk about my feelings for Heath without being judged or persecuted. It was the best feeling in the world.

  “Does anyone else know?” Conrad asked.

  I shook my head. “You’re the first person I told.”

  He smiled. “I feel special.”

  “Well, you barged in on me so I didn’t have a choice,” I said in a teasing way.

  “Hey, I did you a favor,” Conrad said. “Now it’s out in the open. And you know I don’t hate you.” He rolled his eyes at that last part.

  “And I’m relieved.”

  He drank his beer than gave me a significant look. “When are you going to tell everyone?”

  I shrugged. “Preferably never.”

  “Why never?” Conrad asked.

  I rubbed the back of my neck. “Maybe you’ve been supportive but that doesn’t mean everyone else will be…”

  Conrad shook his head. “I honestly don’t think anyone will care.”

  “I don’t know…”

  “I told Ro the same thing,” Heath said.

  “But you could be wrong,” I said. “Everyone will treat me differently.”

  “Am I treating you differently?” Conrad demanded.

  “Well, no,” I admitted.

  “No one is going to tease you or make fun of you for it,” Conrad said. “Being gay isn’t offensive so it shouldn’t be something to be offended by. And we live in New York, not Arkansas. If that were the case, then yeah, I’d be worried for you.”

  “I guess there’s just one person I’m worried about,” I whispered.

  Conrad studied my face then nodded. “Your dad.” It wasn’t a question.

  “I’m afraid he’ll hate me,” I said. “We’ve butted heads over the years but…I couldn’t imagine my life without him. I don’t want to lose him. He’s my dad.”

  Conrad gave me a sympathetic look. “I understand that. My dad is the person I respect most. I don’t want to give him a reason to be disappointed in me. And Sean and Mike are so…alpha like. I understand your concern.”

  I was glad I finally opened up to Conrad because it was nice to talk to him about it. “Yeah…”

  “But, if I told my dad I was gay, I know he’d still love me,” Conrad said. “He might be a little weird about it in the beginning but I can’t picture him disowning me. And my mom would never allow it. She’d beat him to a pulp—literally.”

  I chuckled at the thought of Cassandra beating the shit out of Mike. It was funny because it was realistic.

  “I think Sean would be the same way. He’s so protective of you and Skye. I can’t see him turning his back on you and pretend you never existed. And I definitely can’t see Scarlet doing that—at all.”

  I couldn’t imagine my mom hating me either. She was so easy-going and accepting of everyone. Even when people were evil, she made excuses for them and tried to see them in a better light. “Yeah…”

  Conrad leaned back in the booth. “I think you should tell them. Tell Skye first because she’ll be supportive, and then take her with you when you tell your parents. No, wait.” He leaned forward and held up his hand. “Tell the gang, and then take all of us with you. We’ll stand with you when you tell them. When they see all the support you have, there’s no way they’ll disown you.”

  “But I would feel like I’m ganging up on them,” I said. “And I doubt they’d want to be the last to know.”

  Heath nodded. “I think you’re right, Ro.”

  Conrad rubbed his chin. “Then take Skye. She’s your sister so she’s okay. And…I don’t know if Heath should be there.” He turned to Heath. “No offense, man. That might be too much to handle at once.”

  “I understand,” Heath said simply.

  “Either way,” Conrad said. “You’ve got to tell them. So just get it over with. The sooner you do it, the sooner it’s out in the open. And then you can start your new life without hiding or pretending to be someone you aren’t. And worse case scenario…if Sean and Scarlet don’t approve…you’ve got everyone else.”

  Just having Conrad on my side made a difference. “You’re right.”

  Heath moved his hand to my thigh and gave me an encouraging smile. “It’ll be alright, Ro.”

  I nodded. “For the first time, I actually believe that.”

  Heath leaned toward me and kissed me quickly. “I’m glad.”

  When I pulled away, I looked at Conrad’s expression.

  He raised his glass and winked at me. “To happiness.”

  I smiled then clanked my glass against his. “To happiness.”

  ***

  “So, what’s the reason for this dinner?” Skye looked at her menu while Cayson rested his arm over the back of her chair. He looked at his menu but glanced at her every few seconds, his eyes drifting to the V-neck of her shirt. He didn’t bother being discreet about it.

  Since he loved my sister with everything he had, I didn’t care. “Just wanted to catch up.”

  She eyed me suspiciously over her menu. “You’ve been awfully nice to me lately.”

  I shrugged. “I guess I’ve matured a little.”

  She stared at me for a second longer before she returned her focus to her menu.

  Heath engaged Cayson in a conversation about sports. They discussed the most recent Yankee game.

  I put my menu down when I knew what I wanted. Even though no one could tell, my heart was beating a million miles an hour. My palms were sweaty and I was nervous, just as I’d been nervous when I told Conrad the truth.

  The waiter approached our table and took our order. Cayson ordered for Skye and kept his arm over her chair. Heath and I acted like friends, like there was no sexual tension or desire between us. After the pleasant evening we had with Conrad where we could be ourselves, it was painful to revert back to our masks and pretend we were nothing but friends.

  “How’s work, Ro?” Skye asked.

  “It’s all right,” I said. “A lot of stuff to do.”

  “Do you think you’ll be the chief editor anytime soon?” she asked.

  I laughed. “No. My boss will be there even after she dies.”

  Heath chuckled. “She doesn’t strike me as someone who has many hobbies or friends…”

  “How’s the company?” I asked. “Going well?”

  “About the same,” she said. “I have new respect for Dad. I didn’t realize how much he actually worked. And with Mike out of the office, the workload has increased.”

  “Making Skye work longer hours,” Cayson said bitterly.

  Skye eyed him but ignored the comment. “But we’re managing.”

  Cayson still didn’t seem happy.

  I could tell this was an awkward subject. “Anyway…”

  “How’s work, Heath?” Skye asked.

  “No complaints,” Heath said. “Working with my best friend is nothing to gripe about. We send jokes to each other all the time.”

  “Hopefully it’s nothing that will get you in trouble,” Skye said with a laugh.

  Heath shrugged. “Work can’t be stiff all the time.”

  “And it shouldn’t,” I said.

  The waiter brought the food, and Skye inhaled her plate like she was starving.

  “If I didn’t know you better, I would assume you were pregnant,” I said with a laugh.

  Cayson dropped his fork and it clanked against the plate.

  Skye eyed him with a raised eyebrow. “I’m not…”

  He grabbed the fork again and tried to eat like everything was normal.

  “But good to know where you are,” Skye said with a laugh.

  Heath tried not to laugh and kept his gaze focused on his plate.

  “You just caught me off guard,” Cayson said. “That’s all. If you were pregnant, you know I’d be happy.”

  I laughed. “And my dad would murder you.”

  “In cold blood,” Skye added.

  Cayson drank his entire glass of wine.

  When the meal was over, Skye’s plate was wiped clean. Cayson only ate half of his food, and Skye eyed it.

  “You want to take it to go?” Cayson asked with an amused expression.

  “Well, it shouldn’t go to waste,” Skye said.

  Cayson smiled then looked away.

  The tab was coming soon so I knew I was running out of time.

  Heath tapped his knee against mine in encouragement.

  I cleared my throat. “Uh, actually, I invited you to dinner for a reason. There’s something I want to talk about.”

  “What?” she asked. “I’m all ears.”

  For some reason I was just as terrified of telling Skye as I was of telling Conrad. But she told me she didn’t care Heath was gay and I should treat him with the same respect. But would she feel that way if her brother were gay?

  “What is it?” Skye pressed.

  “Uh…” This was harder than I thought it would be.

  She raised an eyebrow while she regarded me. “I’ve never heard you stutter before.”

  “Well…” How should I word it?

  Cayson gave me his attention and waited for me to answer.

  “Okay, I don’t know how to say this,” I said. “It’s…hard to put into words.”

  Heath eyed me but kept his silence.

  Concern came into Skye’s eyes. “Ro, is everything okay?”

  “I’m fine,” I said immediately. “It’s nothing like that.”

  “Then what?” she demanded.

  “Baby, give him a chance.” Cayson rested his hand on her forearm.

  Skye held her tongue and stared at me.

  I cleared my throat even though I didn’t need to. “Heath and I are…we are…let me start over.” I waved away my words. “A few months ago, I…well, it started—”

  “Roland is gay,” Heath said. “And we’re seeing each other.” He said it simply and without emotion. It was like his words had no meaning and wouldn’t gain any reaction.

  Skye’s jaw dropped and her eyes widened.

  Cayson took a deep breath but didn’t react in any other noticeable way.

  I was slightly irritated Heath blurted it out but I was also grateful. It was too hard for me to say on my own.

  Skye was silent for several minutes. When she finally recovered from the shock, she spoke. “I’m sorry…I just wasn’t expecting you to say that.”

  “It’s okay,” I said. “I know it’s a lot to take in.”

  She kept staring at me.

  “I know you’re probably confused and…uncomfortable. I just thought I should tell you. You probably see me differently and that might change the way you feel about me but—”

  “Roland, it doesn’t change anything,” Skye said seriously. “Why would it?”

  I breathed a sigh of relief. Conrad didn’t care and now Skye didn’t care. This was going better than I thought it would.

  “Yeah, man,” Cayson said. “It doesn’t make a difference to us. Do whatever makes you happy.”

  This was too good to be true. “Thanks…that means a lot.”

  Skye gave me a smile then came around the table and hugged me. “I love you, Roland.”

  “I love you too.” I held her tightly and felt lighter than air.

  She pulled away then kissed me on the cheek. Then she moved to Heath and hugged him. “Welcome to the family.”

  He smiled while he returned her embrace. “Thank you, Skye. Your brother is a wonderful guy.”

  “I know he is,” she said. “And he’s very brave.”

  Cayson came to me and fist-pounded me. “You had me fooled.”

  “I had myself fooled,” I said honestly.

  “You feel better now?” he asked.

  “A lot,” I said. “I thought Skye would be supportive but I wasn’t sure.”

  “Between you and me,” he said as he leaned forward. “I think she likes you more.”

  I laughed. “Maybe.”

  Cayson moved to Heath and shook his hand. “Congratulations.”

  “Thanks,” he said. “It’s nice not to be a secret.”

  Skye and Cayson sat back down, and Skye kept looking at me like she adored me. “I’m so glad you told me.”

  “You’re my sister,” I said.

  “Do Mom and Dad know?” she asked.

  “No,” I said with a heavy heart. “And I’d appreciate it if you didn’t tell them.”

  Her eyes fell. “Why?”

  “I want to tell them myself,” I said. “I’m just not ready to.”

  “Oh, I understand,” she said. “When are you planning on it?”

  “I’m not sure,” I said.

  “What’s your hesitance?” she asked.

  “Well…dad,” I said honestly.

  “Ro, Dad isn’t going to care.”

  “You don’t know that,” I said.

  “I do,” she said firmly. “He loves you more than anything in the world. Nothing will change that.”

  “It’s still difficult to tell your parents,” I argued.

  Heath patted my shoulder. “Everyone has been supportive of you. You really think your parents will be any different?”

  “They won’t,” Cayson said. “You’re making a big deal out of nothing.”

  “Maybe,” I said. “Maybe not.”

  “Can I be there when you tell them?” Skye asked.

  “That’s why I told you first.”

  She smiled. “I’m honored, Ro.”

  I smiled back then dropped my gaze.

  “Does anyone else know?” she asked.

  “Conrad.”

  “Good,” she said. “He deserves to know.”

  Heath grabbed my hand on the table. “We’re getting so close to having what we want. It’s just a little further away.”

  I squeezed his hand. “Yeah.”

  Skye watched our interaction and gave me a look full of affection. “I’m so happy.”

  “Me too,” Cayson said.

  Heath nodded. “It’s definitely a good day.”

  Chapter Four

  Skye

  When Cayson and I returned to my apartment, we were in good spirits.

  “I never suspected he was gay,” Cayson said. “Not even when we were growing up.”

  “Me neither,” I said. “But he never did bring girls around. And he was always sensitive with his writing. Not to mention, he and Conrad act like girlfriends more than guy friends.”

  “You could say the same about me and Slade,” Cayson said.

  “True.” I smiled at the thought. I walked into my bedroom and removed my heels. They were killing my feet. Since I had to wear them at work all day, my feet were always sore. So, it wasn’t exactly smart to wear them when I was out and about.

  Cayson sat at the edge of the bed beside me then pulled my feet in his lap. Then he massaged the sore muscles.

  “Oh god…” I lay back on the bed, unable to process how amazing that felt.

  He smiled then kept rubbing them.

  I lay back and sighed. “You’re a godsend.”

 

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