Nothing Is Left, page 2
part #11 of Forever and Ever Series
“Well, yeah. We’re friends. Right?”
The hurt that covered her face a moment ago disappeared. “That’d be fun.”
“Cool,” I said. “Let’s go.”
***
We went to a Peet’s down the road then walked inside. We stood together in line while we decided what we wanted.
“What can I get you?” I asked.
“I can get my own, Cayson.”
“Don’t be stupid,” I said immediately. “Now what can I get you?”
“Just a small coffee.”
“Take a seat and I’ll get it.”
“Okay.” She found a seat by the window.
After I paid for our coffees, I sat across from her. The cups were steaming, and the smell excited my sinuses.
She sipped hers. “That’s good. I prefer Peet’s over Starbucks.”
“I like them both,” I said with a shrug. I didn’t know what else to say. She and I hadn’t spoken in almost two years. She was practically a stranger to me. I glanced at her left hand, hoping she wore a wedding ring. I was disappointed to find nothing there.
“So, how are things with Skye?” There was no bitterness to her voice.
“Uh, things have been better,” I said honestly.
She raised an eyebrow. “What does that mean?”
“Well, we…sorta broke up.”
“What?” Her jaw dropped. “You and Skye?”
I nodded, feeling the pain in my heart.
“I’m sorry, Cayson.” Sincerity was in her voice. She reached across the table and rested her hand on mine. I let the touch linger there for a moment, and then I pulled away because I felt guilty.
“It’s been hard,” I said honestly. “I’m not sure what’s going on.”
“What happened?” she asked.
I told her the story from beginning to end.
“Wow…I can’t believe she did that.”
“I want to forgive her, and there are moments when I think I can, but then…I get angry all over again.”
“That’s understandable,” she whispered. “I have no idea how I’d feel if that happened to me.”
“She claims she was being selfless but…how could she let me believe that for so long?”
“There were other options,” Jasmine said.
“Exactly.” It was nice to talk to someone who wasn’t involved in the situation. I knew Jasmine would take my side simply because she didn’t like Skye, but it was still nice to feel that support.
“But, I think you should go back to her.”
I did a double take. “Sorry?”
“If she were anyone else, I’d tell you to forget about her. But come on, Cayson. This is Skye we’re talking about. I, more than anyone, understand how you feel about her. It’s not like she cheated on you or something. I think you can work it out if you really try.”
That was the last thing I expected her to say. “Really?”
She nodded. “You told me she was your future wife, the only person you could see yourself settling down with. Having that type of emotion for another person is uncommon. Most people go their entire lives without feeling that type of love. She’s the love of your life, Cayson. Don’t let her go.”
If Jasmine was saying this, then perhaps everyone was right. I knew how Jasmine felt about me. She could turn me against Skye so she could have a chance with me, but that isn’t what she did. Even she was rooting for Skye. “How are you?” I asked, wanting to change the subject.
She let the topic drop. “Well. I finished beauty school and now I’m cutting hair. I’m trying to save up to get my own salon. But that won’t be for a while…”
“I’m happy for you.”
“What are you doing?”
“Working as a lab scientist for the CDC.”
“That’s cool,” she said. “I have no idea what that means, but it sounds cool.”
I chuckled. “Thanks.”
“What happened to medical school?”
“I dropped out. I’ll apply again soon.”
She gave me an incredulous smirk. “You dropped out of Stanford to come to New York, but you still aren’t sure you want Skye back?” She laughed. “I think you want her back and you know you’ll go back to her. But I think you’re just scared.”
I was scared. I wasn’t ashamed to admit that. “Are you seeing anyone?”
“Here and there. Nothing serious.”
“It’ll happen,” I said.
“It’s okay if it doesn’t,” she said. “I’m living in Manhattan and I’ve got great friends. I don’t need a man to make me happy. If I’m meant to meet Mr. Right, I will. If not, oh well.”
I was glad her attitude had changed. I didn’t want to be the man who ruined her future relationships.
“How’s Roland?”
I forgot they slept together. “He’s working for a magazine now.”
“Really?” she asked with a smile. “Good for him.”
“Yeah, he really likes it.”
“I bet he does,” she said. “He told me he wanted to be a writer. I’m glad he’s actually doing it.” She dug in her purse then pulled out a business card. “Can you give him my number? I would love to meet up with him and chat.”
“Sure.” I put the card in my wallet. Maybe she wanted to sleep with him again, and if she did, it wasn’t any of my business. And if Roland wanted to, I didn’t care either. Skye was right. Whoever she slept with, even if it was one of my friends, shouldn’t bother me.
“Is Roland seeing anyone?” she asked.
“No, actually.” I thought that was odd. He usually had something going on. But then again, I hadn’t had a private conversation with him in a while.
“And how’s Slade?”
“In love,” I blurted.
“With who?”
“Trinity.”
“Awe.” She rubbed her hands together in excitement. “That’s adorable.”
“They’ve been together for a long time.”
“Do you think they’ll get married?”
I wasn’t sure. “Slade said he never wants to get married, but I think he’ll change his mind once they have that conversation. He’s pretty much obsessed with her.”
“Some men are innately terrified of commitment.”
“I don’t think that’s his problem though. I know he only wants to be with Trinity. He always says it’s just a stupid tradition he doesn’t want to be a part of. I’m not sure…”
“Maybe there’s another reason he isn’t telling you…”
“Perhaps.” But I assumed he would tell me since I was his best friend.
“How’s your coffee?” she asked.
“Good. How about yours?”
“It’s strong,” she said. “But I like it like that.”
I stared at her across the table, trying to find something to say. “I’m glad you’re doing well. It makes me happy.”
“I hope you get back together with Skye. That would make me happy.”
I smiled. “I’m glad you’re over me.”
She chuckled. “I’m so over you, Cayson. But I admit, you’ll always have a special place in my heart. In my eyes, you’re already married to Skye, so seeing you in that light is a little odd. I don’t mess around with married men.”
The idea of being married to Skye filled me with happiness.
“Well, Cayson. I’ve had a great time talking to you. But you need to leave.”
“Why?” I asked.
“You need to get back together with Skye. The world can’t function properly unless you’re reunited.” She stood up then patted my shoulder. “Thank you for the coffee.” Then she walked out and headed up the street.
I stayed at the table, pondering her words long after she said them.
Chapter Three
Skye
My brain was hurting from thinking so hard. Whenever I finished one task, there was another one waiting for me. Even with Ward, everything was moving at a snail’s pace. My head started to throb with a migraine. I didn’t have coffee that morning, so I think that attributed to my grumpiness.
I stood up abruptly. “I need to get some coffee.”
Ward eyed me. “I can get it for you, darling.”
“No, it’s okay.” I rubbed my temple.
He continued to watch me. “You aren’t feeling well?”
“I just…I have a headache.”
“Well, it’s five o’clock. Let’s call it a day.”
“But we have so much work to do.”
“So?” he said. “It can wait. Do you want to get burned out before the real work begins?”
“No…”
He closed his folder. “A break is good. Honestly, my head is getting a little foggy too.”
I grabbed my purse, relieved the day was finally over.
Ward and I walked out together and took the elevator to the lobby.
“Do you want a ride?” he asked.
“No, it’s okay. I’m just going to grab my coffee and head home.”
“Alright.” He put his hands in his pockets then headed toward the garage.
I knew Ward wanted to ask me out, but he refrained from doing so because I was so hung up on Cayson. I kept hoping he would come back to me. It secretly pleased me that Cayson was hurt when he thought I was sleeping with Ward, but it also made me upset when he accused me of it.
Ward was attractive and a guy every girl would love to have, but my heart was set on one man in particular. We hadn’t spoken since game night at Trinity’s, so I had no idea how he took Slade’s words. I thought it was best if I gave him space to sort it out.
I crossed the street then headed up the sidewalk until I reached Peet’s coffee. I stopped abruptly when I saw a familiar face. Cayson was sitting down with a coffee in front of him. His hand rested on the table, and another hand covered it. My eyes turned and examined the person he was sitting with.
It was Jasmine.
They were holding hands.
And they were looking into each other’s eyes.
My heart stopped beating for five full seconds.
I stared at them, unable to process what I was looking at. Cayson was upset when he thought I was sleeping with Ward because it was too soon, but he was clearly dating Jasmine again. He was probably sleeping with her too.
Anger and pain like I’d never known washed through me. I felt betrayed, like he slapped me in the face. This entire time, a handsome man was trying to win me over but I was carrying a torch for Cayson in my heart. Little did I know, Cayson wasn’t doing the same for me. He lied to my face and told me he wasn’t seeing anyone else. And the fact he was seeing Jasmine, of all people, just made it worse.
Standing on the sidewalk where everyone could see me, tears dripped down my cheeks. I’d been stabbed through the heart in both directions. I was trying to breathe but my lungs wouldn’t cooperate. Cayson gave me hope when there was none to be had. When I spent my nights alone in my bed, he was sleeping in Jasmine’s.
I couldn’t breathe.
I couldn’t think.
I didn’t know what to do.
I stood rooted to the spot, feeling weak everywhere. Then I turned the opposite way of my apartment, a new destination on my mind.
***
I arrived at Ward’s apartment then banged my fist on his door. I didn’t mean to use so much force, but that’s how insane I was. Adrenaline had spiked in my veins, and I had so much energy I didn’t know what to do with it. Anger and ferocity bubbled in my blood. I wanted to hurt Cayson as much as I possibly could, and I knew Ward was the answer to that.
He answered the door with a concerned look on his face. “Darling, I—”
I threw myself into his chest and wrapped my arms around his neck. My lips sought his and I found them immediately. I gave him a heated and passionate kiss, the kind I gave to Cayson. All I wanted was to rip Cayson apart, to hurt him the way he hurt me.
Ward stepped back, his lips glued to mine, and shut the door. At first, he was immobile, but then his lips began to dance with mine. He breathed hard into my mouth, his lips massaging mine. One hand fisted my hair then he pressed my back into the wall. He deepened his kiss, his other hand gripping my hips.
I couldn’t get the image of Cayson and Jasmine out of my mind. When I pictured them naked together, it killed me. I threw myself further into Ward because I couldn’t handle how much Cayson hurt me.
I grabbed his jacket and pushed it off his shoulders. Ward let it fall as he kept kissing me, devouring me. I unbuttoned his shirt, wanting to get our clothes off. He helped me by pulling it off.
I moved my hands up his hard chest then I ripped my jacket off, needing to get out of it as quickly as possible. I unzipped the back of my dress and let it fall to the ground.
Something seemed to happen inside Ward’s mind. He stared at me for a moment, seeing me in my undergarments, and then he closed his eyes. “I think we’re getting carried away…”
I wrapped my arms around his neck, not wanting this to end. I kissed him again then led him toward his bedroom. Ward became weak and felt my skin everywhere. His lips sucked mine with both aggression and gentleness.
I reached his bed then pulled him on top of me. After I got his jeans off, I undid my bra.
Ward stopped again. He looked at me then closed his eyes. “Okay, as much as I’m going to hate myself for what I’m about to say, what’s this about?”
I grabbed his head and pulled his lips back to mine.
He moved away. “No. You were fine a few minutes ago and now you want to jump my bones. Is there something wrong?” He pulled the sheets over me and hid my chest before he opened his eyes.
I blurted everything out. “Cayson is sleeping with his ex. I caught him. This whole time, I thought he wasn’t seeing anyone, but he was lying to me. He has the nerve to get upset about you, but then he does that to me.” I tried not to cry. I didn’t want to be completely vulnerable with Ward. I didn’t want to admit how hurt I was. I reached for him again, wanting him to make me feel better.
He pulled away and kept me at a distance. “I know I’m going to regret this later… Darling, I’m not going to sleep with you.”
“Why?” The last thing I wanted was to feel rejected.
“Because I know you don’t really want to sleep with me.” He gave me a sad look. “In the morning, you would regret it. Skye, I don’t want to be a regret. Right now, you don’t need a one-night stand. You need a friend.”
I sunk into his pillow and breathed hard.
Ward watched me then got in the covers beside me. His hand moved to my waist. “I know you just want to hurt Cayson, and believe me, I would love to be the guy you hurt him with. But, I know that isn’t what you want, Skye.” His hand moved to my hair and he brushed the loose strands from my face.
“I’m sorry…”
“Don’t be,” he said with a smile. “I had a lot of fun kissing you. And if you don’t mind me saying so…girl, you have a smokin’ body.”
I chuckled lightly, glad I had something to fight the tears with.
His pulled his arm away and stayed on his side of the bed. “Now tell me what happened.”
“I saw them in a coffee shop together. They were holding hands.”
He processed my words for a while. “That doesn’t mean they’re sleeping together.”
“It does.” I said it without hesitation. “Cayson doesn’t just hold hands with someone.”
“But wouldn’t he be upfront with you about it?” Ward asked.
“I thought he would… I guess I was wrong.”
“I wouldn’t jump to conclusions unless you’re certain.”
“But I am,” I said sadly. I breathed hard and tried not to cry.
Ward sat up then opened one of his drawers. He found a t-shirt then handed it to me. “Put this on. I’d like to hold you but…you know.” He turned away and stared at the wall.
I pulled it on then lay down again. “I’m covered.”
He snuggled close to me in bed then held me close. “It’ll be okay, darling.”
“I wish I didn’t feel like this… I wish he didn’t hurt me.”
“What fun would love be if hurt wasn’t involved?” he whispered.
“A lot.”
He chuckled and stared into my face. “Are you going to confront him about it.”
“No. I have nothing to say to him.”
Ward moved my leg around his waist and brought me closer to him. “This is nice…”
“Yeah…”
“How could Cayson let you go when you’re this comfortable to sleep with?”
My voice came out sad. “I couldn’t tell you…”
“Does this mean you and he are really over?”
The knowledge made me feel uneasy. Somewhere down the road, I thought Cayson and I would find our way back to each other. We’re soul mates, and nothing could keep us apart. But my faith had been destroyed. Seeing him with Jasmine, of all people, was a stab to the chest. Now we could never be together. I didn’t want to be. “Yeah.”
“You know, I’ve never had a problem with you having feelings for him. I admit, I think he’s a bloody idiot for not wanting you and he doesn’t deserve this undying love you give him, but it doesn’t bother me.”
I wasn’t sure what that meant.
“Go on a date with me.”
I stared at him incredulously. “Even though I’m in love with someone else?”
He had a slight smirk on his lips. “I can make you forget about him easily, if you give me the chance. You want to forget about him, right?”
I nodded, unable to actually say it.
“I’ll treat you like a lady, I’ll make you happy, I’ll kiss you like you’ve never been kissed, and when you’re in bed with me, you’ll realize no other man can measure up to me. In a short amount of time, he’ll be a distant memory. And eventually, you’ll hardly remember him at all.”
I needed to accept Cayson and I were over, and I needed to move on. Five months had passed and we were as far away from each other as possible. He was sleeping with someone else and lying to me about it. While I was the one who screwed up our relationship, it didn’t give him the right to treat me like that. I wouldn’t put up with it. If he expected me to continue holding a place for him in my heart, he was wrong. “Okay.”
