The Sound of Temptation: A Standalone Second Chance Forbidden Romance, page 25
The Truth
When I wake up, I’m alone. I can smell her on the pillow, the flowers of her perfume, and the smoke from the night club mingled with her sweat and tears. I inhale but don’t take any comfort from it. The spot where she should be laying is cool. I can feel the weight of resignation in the air.
I get up and go in search of her. She’s out on her small balcony, staring into the night sky. I can tell by the stiff set of her shoulders that she’s not standing there replaying all of the ways I fucked her tonight. I grab a bottle of Scotch and two glasses from the small bar in her kitchen and pull the door open.
She startles, but doesn’t turn when I step outside to join her.
“Liquor for your thoughts?” I hold up the bottle of whiskey I picked up on my way.
She rolls her eyes at the bottle in my hand. “That’s the last thing I need, let’s go inside,” she grumbles and turns to walk inside. She’s just pulled the door open again when I grab her arm.
“What’s wrong?”
“I’m fine. You’re letting all the cool air out and the mosquitoes in,” she snaps and runs a hand roughly through her hair. Her eyes fix on a spot over my shoulder. She bites her lip and fidgets uncomfortably.
I cup her chin and tug until she looks at me.
The Adriatic blue is swirling with hurt and something else I don’t understand. The normally bright whites are pink and glassy with the ghost of tears and the promise of more to come.
“Talk to me. We can tell each other anything. Nothing will change.”
Instead of the smile my words should inspire, her lips tremble and she presses them together and looks away from me.
I cup her shoulders and turn her back to me.
“Whatever is wrong, it’s okay,” I say hoping she believes me.
“My father wanted sons. He had Phil, then Bethany, then me. Phil spat in his face and disappeared. Bethany was his…whole world. I was just a spare. I’m all he has left and he made it so I couldn’t leave.”
“What do you mean? Like he kidnapped you?” I ask in horror.
She shakes her head. “Not in the way you mean. But I was completely at his mercy. I worked for him. I lived in his house. And no one wants to make an enemy of him. So, Duke and I came up with a plan that would get us both out of here.”
“A plan?” I repeat dumbly.
She purses her lips and then blows out a sharp breath. “I have an inheritance. It’s a lot. We’re going to split it. We have a contract. If I break it, I’ll owe him what he would have gotten.”
The horror that’s filling me must show on my face. Her expression turns bleak. “I tried to leave on my own. This was plan B -I saw a way out in a moment where my back was against a wall and I took it.”
I shake my head. “What was plan A?”
She tells me about her ten-year quest for the New York position and how her father snatched it away so cruelly.
My blood has run cold by the time she’s done. “Why would he do that?”
“Because I’m all he has left, and he wants heirs. Wolfe Construction has been in his family for almost a hundred years. And it’s always had a Wolfe at the helm. That’s what Bethany would have done. And she went so quickly, no one knew what to do next.”
“What happened to her?”
She walks over to the piano bench and sits down. “She had a brain tumor. It wasn’t a great prognosis, but my dad took her to MD Anderson, and she had the best doctors. They were able to remove it. She started chemo that she was supposed to do for six months or something…” She shakes her head sadly. “It’s all such a blur, I don’t remember. But three weeks later, she collapsed. They did an X-ray and the doctor told us that the tumor was back and double the size. She never woke up. By the time I got to Houston, she was gone. On our birthday.”
I sit next to her, rest my elbows on my knees and gaze at her in wonder at all she’s been through. “Oh God. I’m sorry.”
She shudders. “Yeah. It was hell. But my dad made it so much worse. He used to look at me like I was his enemy. And I just wanted to make him happy. But what does a seventeen-year-old girl know about that?”
I can imagine that young version of Beth, alone, guilty, and scared.
And it makes me hate her father instantly. He’s the monster everyone has called him. That she’s survived him and isn’t bitter and fucked up is a miracle.
“So, you were going to marry Duke to get away from him?”
“Yes. I am.” She emphasizes the last word, but she didn’t need to. I heard the distinction loud and clear.
“No.You can’t be with him now. Not when you’re with me.” That she’d even think I’d be okay with it, is upsetting. I stand up.
She looks at me sharply. “Do you have fifty million dollars to pay Duke Tremaine? Cause if you don’t, then I have no choice.”
My eyes bulge out of my head. “Fifty million dollars? That’s how much you would have inherited?”
Her chuckle is humorless. “No Carter, that’s his half.”
I gape at her in disbelief. My family had money, but nothing like that. “There has to be another way.”
She grabs my arm to stop me from pacing and looks pleadingly up at me. “It’s not a real marriage, Carter. We won’t be intimate.”
“Beth—”
She stands and presses a finger to my lips. “If there’s a way out, that won’t mean we’re in debt to him for the rest of our lives, I’ll take it. But short of that, I don’t know what else to do.”
I search for what to say. But my mind is dark with anger. I don’t understand how they can treat her like she’s an object, to be bartered, traded, coerced.
“Will you play something for me?” Her voice is tight. She wraps her fingers around mine and squeezes convulsively. Like she’s trying to make sure I’m real.
“Yes, baby. Why don’t you lay down and try to get some sleep.”
She nods and lets me her over to the chaise where she sits to draw. She lays down and and closes her eyes. I watch her for a minute. She’s not resting. Her face is tight, even in the low light, I can see the small furrow between her brows.
I go back the piano and start picking out the melody to my song. I don’t sing, though. I’m too angry for that.
I want to ruin these men. To take away all the riches they’ve been given, but don’t deserve. Including the woman they’ve wounded.
I play until I feel some of the anger leave my body.
“Hey, are you okay?” She comes to stand behind me and drapes her arms over my shoulders. I tip my head back so that it rests in the middle of her chest. I open my eyes and look right. Her breast, bare, flushed, and mauve tipped comes into my view.
She has a beauty mark next to her light brown areola that I’ve never noticed. Unable to resist the succulent sight, I stick my tongue out and lick it. She sighs. It’s a sweet sigh of relief and so, I do it again.
A shudder runs through her and she presses her body into my back and slides her hands up my shoulders and twines her fingers into my hair.
My breathing is fast and my heartbeat quickens and my fingers slip off the keys. And she falls into my lap and wraps her arms around me. Hugging me.
“I want you to find a way, Carter. I do.” She says in my ear.
I have an idea. “What if we got married, claim the money and give him his half. I don’t need it, with the contract I’m going to sign, I could take care of us.”
She stiffens against my back and then moves to sit beside me.
She looks at me intently.
“No.” Her voice is harsh and unequivocal. “Even if we could. And we can’t because my father has to approve. And I don’t want my father even to know about us. He’ll find a way to ruin it. And I don’t want to lose you again.”
I don’t have anything productive to say. I don’t have anything to offer her.
“How long do we have before they’re back?”
“A month or so. They’ll both be here for my father’s campaign kickoff.”
“He’s running again?”
She laughs at the surprise in my voice “He’s like the Susan Lucci of the Governor’s race. Personally. I enjoy watching him lose.”
I don’t laugh at her little dig. I hate this. “Do you have to be there?”
“Yes. I have to be there.” She puts her arms around me “Don’t worry. Once I’m out of here, nothing will stop me from coming to you.”
She kisses me and when her tongue slides against mine, I almost believe her.
34
Beth
Exile
I’m floating in a pool of contentment and levity. I’m lying in the arms of the man I love, naked, wet and clean. We got into the bath after we fucked in the shower and I’m dozing off. I’ve been cradled in his lap, my head lolling on his chest while he hums and sings and massages my scalp.
He shakes me gently and I crane my head to look up at him. His eyes are so tender and a little sad. “Did you know they call the Statue of Liberty the Mother of Exiles?”
“What?” I blink away my grogginess and try to focus.
“Yeah, that’s the name in the poem that’s on the plaque there. It says, Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free.”
“It would be amazing to visit one day. It’s on my bucket list.”
“I want to be with you when you finally heed her call.”
My heart does something strange… it expands like it’s taking a huge breath and then it starts to race. “You have such a way with words, Carter.” He wraps his arms tight around me, spilling water over the side of the tub. He lowers his head so that he can nestle his face into my neck. I’m in heaven.
“Oh, this mouth has got a myriad of talents. Words are just the tip of the iceberg, right?”
“Mmmm, tell me more,” I whisper when his lips start to nibble at my neck.
“Let me show you.” He grips my chin and turns my head so he can kiss me. He extends his arm out of the tub and snags his phone from its perch on the closed toilet. “I got you something.”
He hands it to me and my heart leaps in my chest when I see the electronic ticket with my name as the passenger.
“You bought me a ticket New York. But…”
“It’s an open ticket. Whenever you’re ready. I hope when I leave in a couple of weeks, you’ll come with me.”
My heart sinks. “You’re leaving?”
“I have to get back to the city. Dean has agreed to meet with all of us. I’ve got songs ready to record. And the house is done. Come with me.”
My heart squeezes at the plea in his voice. God, why is this so hard. I reach over the side of the tub and put his phone down. “I want to…” I pull away from his chest so I can look at him over my shoulder, my eyes pleading for him to understand. I want to stop saying no. He’s laid everything I want at my feet. I just don’t know how to say yes.
His eyes harden and I can see he doesn’t. “It’s not a choice between me and him. Or New York and Winsome. Or even art school and marriage. It’s a choice between a life or an existence.”
I’m overwhelmed by so many emotions, but frustration outweighs them. I don’t know how to explain to Carter what my family is like. He thinks he understands because he’s tasted fame and has a complicated relationship with his people. But this is our last night before Duke is back and I have to head back to Winsome. And I don’t want to fight.
I take a deep breath and try to explain as honestly as I can. “They’ve taken everything I have ever loved and either destroyed it, or used it against me. I don’t want them to know that I love you. Because Carter, if they know, I swear, that will be it.”
I cup his face. “Just let me have some time to figure out the best way to deal with Duke. I’ll talk to him. He’s not unreasonable like my father.”
He doesn’t answer me, instead, his nostrils flare and the muscles in his jaw flex, and he hoists himself up and out of the tub.
He wraps a towel around his hips and stands over me. The sudden loss of his body isn’t as disturbing as the look of resolve in his eyes. He looks like he’s ready for battle.
“You look like you’re ready to go ten rounds.”
He doesn’t crack a smile and my stomach feels like an anvil is dragging it down
“I don’t want to sneak around, Beth. I don’t want to hide that we’re together. And I don’t want you to go to this event and pretend you’re his woman.”
Wordlessly, he steps out and then walks out of the bathroom. With my heart in my throat, I get out of the bath, wrap a towel around myself, and follow him into the bedroom. He doesn’t say anything while we dry off and get dressed. Neither do I.
The space between us feels like a minefield, one wrong step and everything will be destroyed. But, I didn’t come this far to let fear continue to lead me.
“Baby?”
He walks over to me, places a hand on each of my shoulders and looks me square in the eyes. “I’m not going to share you. Or settle for pieces of you. These people aren’t your family any more than they are mine. This is not what family does. But, I can’t force you to see that or believe that. And I know you’ve got a lifetime of indoctrination to dismantle.”
I frown at him, dismayed. “You make it sound like I grew up in a cult.”
His eyebrows draw together. “Didn’t you?”
“It wasn’t that bad,” I protest and then cringe when I hear how lame I sound.
I expect him to cringe, too, and push back. Instead a slow, sensual, smile tugs the corners of his lips upward and when his dimples make an appearance, my toes curl and a luscious heat flows from the place inside of me that I used to think was broken before he came back.
“And why does a girl born with stars in her eyes, fire in her soul, a universe in her mind want to settle for a life that’s not so bad?” he asks.
I don’t have an answer. I can only look into his eyes and soak up what I see there. They’re a portal to a different dimension. One where I belong to myself and I have a choice about who share to that with. He smiles, but otherwise doesn’t react except for to cup my face in his big warm hands and press a kiss to my lips.
It’s a gentle kiss, but just like everything between us - every conversation, every touch - it’s as deep as a hundred oceans. My soul sighs in relief as clarity comes, floating like a feather as it knocks me on my ass. The gun to my head isn’t in charge. I’ve already made my choice.
35
Beth
Committed to Nothing.
“You sound good singing in the shower.” Duke’s voice, unexpected and unwelcome, startles a scream from my throat that his big hand muffles before it can find wings that carry it out the open door of my bedroom.
With one of his massive arms wrapped around my torso, he pulls me back into his solid wall of a body and presses the sharp edges of his teeth together around my ear lobe hard enough to hurt. Just for a second before he lets go and laves it with his tongue. He presses the side of his face into my hair and takes a deep breath.
I wriggle against him, fighting my panic at how tightly clamped his hand is over my mouth. I have to remind myself that I breathe through my nose. He’s not trying to hurt me.
But when he doesn’t say anything and his arm tightens around my waist, I try to turn my head, frantic to make eye contact with him.
“You feel so good, smell so good,” he groans into my hair and I feel his arousal pressed into the rise of my ass and I start to struggle in earnest. I use my fists to pummel his forearms, I get the impression the strikes hurt my hand more than they hurt him.
He laughs, his breath washing over me makes me shudder.
“Oh Clover, why do you have to be like that? I’m always so nice to you.”
I shriek against his hand and try to bite the fleshy palm that’s pressed against my lips. My teeth barely graze him, but it’s enough for me to taste the salty skin of the hands I swore I’d never let touch me again.
“Mmmm,” he breathes, his hot breath pollutes the skin of my neck and face with the perpetually sweet mint gum flavored scent that I’ve come to loathe.
“If I move my hand, you gonna kiss me and be nice?” He asks in a deceptively calm, cajoling voice.
I’m desperate now and I see he’s wearing a pair of Converse. So, I raise my knee to get some momentum and bring my heel down on his instep.
Hard.
I’m not sure if it’s pain or annoyance that drives his grunt and sharp release of his hold on me, and I don’t spare a second trying to figure it out. I scramble away from him. Grabbing my towel tightly around me and whirling angrily to face him.
“What did you do that for?” he howls and hobbles over to sit on the bed.
“I should call the police, Duke. What the hell are you doing?”
“I was just fucking with you. And you said you wanted to see me before tonight.” Duke’s handsome face is contorted and flushed, as he bends over to examine his foot muttering to himself.
“When I got back to Winsome, you shouldn’t have come here unannounced.”
He sighs like my question exhausts him, but a sly smile spreads across his ludicrous, lying lips.
“I wanted to see you in person. I’ve missed you.”
“Why? Is Etta’s mouth busy?”
He laughs and shakes his head like he feels sorry for me. Then, he stands and saunters over to me. He cups my chin and tilts it up.
He scans my face, with the same dispassion I use when I’m eyeing a piece of fruit at the grocery store and I’m trying to determine if it’s ripe enough for me to take home. I know he’s already decided I’m at the peak of my prime and he’s plucked me. Now, he’s admiring his conquest.
My entire body hums like one of those old-fashioned wind-up timers right before it goes off. All I can think, the only thing I’ve been able to think for a long time, is how wrong Duke feels.
And not just physically, my soul has rejected him. It balks at his nearness. “I can’t do this. I really thought I could. But, there is so much wrong with us.”
When I wake up, I’m alone. I can smell her on the pillow, the flowers of her perfume, and the smoke from the night club mingled with her sweat and tears. I inhale but don’t take any comfort from it. The spot where she should be laying is cool. I can feel the weight of resignation in the air.
I get up and go in search of her. She’s out on her small balcony, staring into the night sky. I can tell by the stiff set of her shoulders that she’s not standing there replaying all of the ways I fucked her tonight. I grab a bottle of Scotch and two glasses from the small bar in her kitchen and pull the door open.
She startles, but doesn’t turn when I step outside to join her.
“Liquor for your thoughts?” I hold up the bottle of whiskey I picked up on my way.
She rolls her eyes at the bottle in my hand. “That’s the last thing I need, let’s go inside,” she grumbles and turns to walk inside. She’s just pulled the door open again when I grab her arm.
“What’s wrong?”
“I’m fine. You’re letting all the cool air out and the mosquitoes in,” she snaps and runs a hand roughly through her hair. Her eyes fix on a spot over my shoulder. She bites her lip and fidgets uncomfortably.
I cup her chin and tug until she looks at me.
The Adriatic blue is swirling with hurt and something else I don’t understand. The normally bright whites are pink and glassy with the ghost of tears and the promise of more to come.
“Talk to me. We can tell each other anything. Nothing will change.”
Instead of the smile my words should inspire, her lips tremble and she presses them together and looks away from me.
I cup her shoulders and turn her back to me.
“Whatever is wrong, it’s okay,” I say hoping she believes me.
“My father wanted sons. He had Phil, then Bethany, then me. Phil spat in his face and disappeared. Bethany was his…whole world. I was just a spare. I’m all he has left and he made it so I couldn’t leave.”
“What do you mean? Like he kidnapped you?” I ask in horror.
She shakes her head. “Not in the way you mean. But I was completely at his mercy. I worked for him. I lived in his house. And no one wants to make an enemy of him. So, Duke and I came up with a plan that would get us both out of here.”
“A plan?” I repeat dumbly.
She purses her lips and then blows out a sharp breath. “I have an inheritance. It’s a lot. We’re going to split it. We have a contract. If I break it, I’ll owe him what he would have gotten.”
The horror that’s filling me must show on my face. Her expression turns bleak. “I tried to leave on my own. This was plan B -I saw a way out in a moment where my back was against a wall and I took it.”
I shake my head. “What was plan A?”
She tells me about her ten-year quest for the New York position and how her father snatched it away so cruelly.
My blood has run cold by the time she’s done. “Why would he do that?”
“Because I’m all he has left, and he wants heirs. Wolfe Construction has been in his family for almost a hundred years. And it’s always had a Wolfe at the helm. That’s what Bethany would have done. And she went so quickly, no one knew what to do next.”
“What happened to her?”
She walks over to the piano bench and sits down. “She had a brain tumor. It wasn’t a great prognosis, but my dad took her to MD Anderson, and she had the best doctors. They were able to remove it. She started chemo that she was supposed to do for six months or something…” She shakes her head sadly. “It’s all such a blur, I don’t remember. But three weeks later, she collapsed. They did an X-ray and the doctor told us that the tumor was back and double the size. She never woke up. By the time I got to Houston, she was gone. On our birthday.”
I sit next to her, rest my elbows on my knees and gaze at her in wonder at all she’s been through. “Oh God. I’m sorry.”
She shudders. “Yeah. It was hell. But my dad made it so much worse. He used to look at me like I was his enemy. And I just wanted to make him happy. But what does a seventeen-year-old girl know about that?”
I can imagine that young version of Beth, alone, guilty, and scared.
And it makes me hate her father instantly. He’s the monster everyone has called him. That she’s survived him and isn’t bitter and fucked up is a miracle.
“So, you were going to marry Duke to get away from him?”
“Yes. I am.” She emphasizes the last word, but she didn’t need to. I heard the distinction loud and clear.
“No.You can’t be with him now. Not when you’re with me.” That she’d even think I’d be okay with it, is upsetting. I stand up.
She looks at me sharply. “Do you have fifty million dollars to pay Duke Tremaine? Cause if you don’t, then I have no choice.”
My eyes bulge out of my head. “Fifty million dollars? That’s how much you would have inherited?”
Her chuckle is humorless. “No Carter, that’s his half.”
I gape at her in disbelief. My family had money, but nothing like that. “There has to be another way.”
She grabs my arm to stop me from pacing and looks pleadingly up at me. “It’s not a real marriage, Carter. We won’t be intimate.”
“Beth—”
She stands and presses a finger to my lips. “If there’s a way out, that won’t mean we’re in debt to him for the rest of our lives, I’ll take it. But short of that, I don’t know what else to do.”
I search for what to say. But my mind is dark with anger. I don’t understand how they can treat her like she’s an object, to be bartered, traded, coerced.
“Will you play something for me?” Her voice is tight. She wraps her fingers around mine and squeezes convulsively. Like she’s trying to make sure I’m real.
“Yes, baby. Why don’t you lay down and try to get some sleep.”
She nods and lets me her over to the chaise where she sits to draw. She lays down and and closes her eyes. I watch her for a minute. She’s not resting. Her face is tight, even in the low light, I can see the small furrow between her brows.
I go back the piano and start picking out the melody to my song. I don’t sing, though. I’m too angry for that.
I want to ruin these men. To take away all the riches they’ve been given, but don’t deserve. Including the woman they’ve wounded.
I play until I feel some of the anger leave my body.
“Hey, are you okay?” She comes to stand behind me and drapes her arms over my shoulders. I tip my head back so that it rests in the middle of her chest. I open my eyes and look right. Her breast, bare, flushed, and mauve tipped comes into my view.
She has a beauty mark next to her light brown areola that I’ve never noticed. Unable to resist the succulent sight, I stick my tongue out and lick it. She sighs. It’s a sweet sigh of relief and so, I do it again.
A shudder runs through her and she presses her body into my back and slides her hands up my shoulders and twines her fingers into my hair.
My breathing is fast and my heartbeat quickens and my fingers slip off the keys. And she falls into my lap and wraps her arms around me. Hugging me.
“I want you to find a way, Carter. I do.” She says in my ear.
I have an idea. “What if we got married, claim the money and give him his half. I don’t need it, with the contract I’m going to sign, I could take care of us.”
She stiffens against my back and then moves to sit beside me.
She looks at me intently.
“No.” Her voice is harsh and unequivocal. “Even if we could. And we can’t because my father has to approve. And I don’t want my father even to know about us. He’ll find a way to ruin it. And I don’t want to lose you again.”
I don’t have anything productive to say. I don’t have anything to offer her.
“How long do we have before they’re back?”
“A month or so. They’ll both be here for my father’s campaign kickoff.”
“He’s running again?”
She laughs at the surprise in my voice “He’s like the Susan Lucci of the Governor’s race. Personally. I enjoy watching him lose.”
I don’t laugh at her little dig. I hate this. “Do you have to be there?”
“Yes. I have to be there.” She puts her arms around me “Don’t worry. Once I’m out of here, nothing will stop me from coming to you.”
She kisses me and when her tongue slides against mine, I almost believe her.
34
Beth
Exile
I’m floating in a pool of contentment and levity. I’m lying in the arms of the man I love, naked, wet and clean. We got into the bath after we fucked in the shower and I’m dozing off. I’ve been cradled in his lap, my head lolling on his chest while he hums and sings and massages my scalp.
He shakes me gently and I crane my head to look up at him. His eyes are so tender and a little sad. “Did you know they call the Statue of Liberty the Mother of Exiles?”
“What?” I blink away my grogginess and try to focus.
“Yeah, that’s the name in the poem that’s on the plaque there. It says, Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free.”
“It would be amazing to visit one day. It’s on my bucket list.”
“I want to be with you when you finally heed her call.”
My heart does something strange… it expands like it’s taking a huge breath and then it starts to race. “You have such a way with words, Carter.” He wraps his arms tight around me, spilling water over the side of the tub. He lowers his head so that he can nestle his face into my neck. I’m in heaven.
“Oh, this mouth has got a myriad of talents. Words are just the tip of the iceberg, right?”
“Mmmm, tell me more,” I whisper when his lips start to nibble at my neck.
“Let me show you.” He grips my chin and turns my head so he can kiss me. He extends his arm out of the tub and snags his phone from its perch on the closed toilet. “I got you something.”
He hands it to me and my heart leaps in my chest when I see the electronic ticket with my name as the passenger.
“You bought me a ticket New York. But…”
“It’s an open ticket. Whenever you’re ready. I hope when I leave in a couple of weeks, you’ll come with me.”
My heart sinks. “You’re leaving?”
“I have to get back to the city. Dean has agreed to meet with all of us. I’ve got songs ready to record. And the house is done. Come with me.”
My heart squeezes at the plea in his voice. God, why is this so hard. I reach over the side of the tub and put his phone down. “I want to…” I pull away from his chest so I can look at him over my shoulder, my eyes pleading for him to understand. I want to stop saying no. He’s laid everything I want at my feet. I just don’t know how to say yes.
His eyes harden and I can see he doesn’t. “It’s not a choice between me and him. Or New York and Winsome. Or even art school and marriage. It’s a choice between a life or an existence.”
I’m overwhelmed by so many emotions, but frustration outweighs them. I don’t know how to explain to Carter what my family is like. He thinks he understands because he’s tasted fame and has a complicated relationship with his people. But this is our last night before Duke is back and I have to head back to Winsome. And I don’t want to fight.
I take a deep breath and try to explain as honestly as I can. “They’ve taken everything I have ever loved and either destroyed it, or used it against me. I don’t want them to know that I love you. Because Carter, if they know, I swear, that will be it.”
I cup his face. “Just let me have some time to figure out the best way to deal with Duke. I’ll talk to him. He’s not unreasonable like my father.”
He doesn’t answer me, instead, his nostrils flare and the muscles in his jaw flex, and he hoists himself up and out of the tub.
He wraps a towel around his hips and stands over me. The sudden loss of his body isn’t as disturbing as the look of resolve in his eyes. He looks like he’s ready for battle.
“You look like you’re ready to go ten rounds.”
He doesn’t crack a smile and my stomach feels like an anvil is dragging it down
“I don’t want to sneak around, Beth. I don’t want to hide that we’re together. And I don’t want you to go to this event and pretend you’re his woman.”
Wordlessly, he steps out and then walks out of the bathroom. With my heart in my throat, I get out of the bath, wrap a towel around myself, and follow him into the bedroom. He doesn’t say anything while we dry off and get dressed. Neither do I.
The space between us feels like a minefield, one wrong step and everything will be destroyed. But, I didn’t come this far to let fear continue to lead me.
“Baby?”
He walks over to me, places a hand on each of my shoulders and looks me square in the eyes. “I’m not going to share you. Or settle for pieces of you. These people aren’t your family any more than they are mine. This is not what family does. But, I can’t force you to see that or believe that. And I know you’ve got a lifetime of indoctrination to dismantle.”
I frown at him, dismayed. “You make it sound like I grew up in a cult.”
His eyebrows draw together. “Didn’t you?”
“It wasn’t that bad,” I protest and then cringe when I hear how lame I sound.
I expect him to cringe, too, and push back. Instead a slow, sensual, smile tugs the corners of his lips upward and when his dimples make an appearance, my toes curl and a luscious heat flows from the place inside of me that I used to think was broken before he came back.
“And why does a girl born with stars in her eyes, fire in her soul, a universe in her mind want to settle for a life that’s not so bad?” he asks.
I don’t have an answer. I can only look into his eyes and soak up what I see there. They’re a portal to a different dimension. One where I belong to myself and I have a choice about who share to that with. He smiles, but otherwise doesn’t react except for to cup my face in his big warm hands and press a kiss to my lips.
It’s a gentle kiss, but just like everything between us - every conversation, every touch - it’s as deep as a hundred oceans. My soul sighs in relief as clarity comes, floating like a feather as it knocks me on my ass. The gun to my head isn’t in charge. I’ve already made my choice.
35
Beth
Committed to Nothing.
“You sound good singing in the shower.” Duke’s voice, unexpected and unwelcome, startles a scream from my throat that his big hand muffles before it can find wings that carry it out the open door of my bedroom.
With one of his massive arms wrapped around my torso, he pulls me back into his solid wall of a body and presses the sharp edges of his teeth together around my ear lobe hard enough to hurt. Just for a second before he lets go and laves it with his tongue. He presses the side of his face into my hair and takes a deep breath.
I wriggle against him, fighting my panic at how tightly clamped his hand is over my mouth. I have to remind myself that I breathe through my nose. He’s not trying to hurt me.
But when he doesn’t say anything and his arm tightens around my waist, I try to turn my head, frantic to make eye contact with him.
“You feel so good, smell so good,” he groans into my hair and I feel his arousal pressed into the rise of my ass and I start to struggle in earnest. I use my fists to pummel his forearms, I get the impression the strikes hurt my hand more than they hurt him.
He laughs, his breath washing over me makes me shudder.
“Oh Clover, why do you have to be like that? I’m always so nice to you.”
I shriek against his hand and try to bite the fleshy palm that’s pressed against my lips. My teeth barely graze him, but it’s enough for me to taste the salty skin of the hands I swore I’d never let touch me again.
“Mmmm,” he breathes, his hot breath pollutes the skin of my neck and face with the perpetually sweet mint gum flavored scent that I’ve come to loathe.
“If I move my hand, you gonna kiss me and be nice?” He asks in a deceptively calm, cajoling voice.
I’m desperate now and I see he’s wearing a pair of Converse. So, I raise my knee to get some momentum and bring my heel down on his instep.
Hard.
I’m not sure if it’s pain or annoyance that drives his grunt and sharp release of his hold on me, and I don’t spare a second trying to figure it out. I scramble away from him. Grabbing my towel tightly around me and whirling angrily to face him.
“What did you do that for?” he howls and hobbles over to sit on the bed.
“I should call the police, Duke. What the hell are you doing?”
“I was just fucking with you. And you said you wanted to see me before tonight.” Duke’s handsome face is contorted and flushed, as he bends over to examine his foot muttering to himself.
“When I got back to Winsome, you shouldn’t have come here unannounced.”
He sighs like my question exhausts him, but a sly smile spreads across his ludicrous, lying lips.
“I wanted to see you in person. I’ve missed you.”
“Why? Is Etta’s mouth busy?”
He laughs and shakes his head like he feels sorry for me. Then, he stands and saunters over to me. He cups my chin and tilts it up.
He scans my face, with the same dispassion I use when I’m eyeing a piece of fruit at the grocery store and I’m trying to determine if it’s ripe enough for me to take home. I know he’s already decided I’m at the peak of my prime and he’s plucked me. Now, he’s admiring his conquest.
My entire body hums like one of those old-fashioned wind-up timers right before it goes off. All I can think, the only thing I’ve been able to think for a long time, is how wrong Duke feels.
And not just physically, my soul has rejected him. It balks at his nearness. “I can’t do this. I really thought I could. But, there is so much wrong with us.”
