Ellis hugged me swiftly, then picked up the coconut water I’d ordered for him and took a sip. “I should go. I’ve got to run to the dorm and shower and change. I’m going to be the most professional law student to ever law student in my next class!”

  “That’s the spirit,” I said with a chuckle.

  Ellis met my gaze, only inches from my face, and my lips burned with the urge to close the distance between us.

  “Sometimes you have to fight for love,” he said with a smile. “Thanks for believing in me, Jordie.”

  “Y-yeah,” I croaked. “Always.”

  Ellis slid out of his seat, snatching up his drink. “Talk later?”

  I nodded, unable to find my voice. His sweet smell, a hint of sweat but mostly peaches and cream from the lotion he used, lingered after he left.

  I lifted my chai latte and sipped it forlornly.

  Then I opened my text and buried myself in the chapter reading until I had to leave for Callahan’s office. I’d expected to spend the time chatting with Ellis like I had every school day since we’d become campus besties.

  But it had taken less than one day to alter our pattern.

  Maybe tomorrow he wouldn’t rush off anywhere. There was no reason to feel like I was losing him.

  And yet I did. Because even after that awful reunion with Clayton, he was still determined.

  Still fighting for love.

  While I cowered here, unable to man up and tell my best friend how I really felt.

  I slammed my textbook shut, unable to focus amidst all the self-loathing swirling in my gut. Why couldn’t I just say the words in my head? El, you should stop fighting for Clayton because he’s not worthy of you, but I would be. I’d be everything for you.

  I scoffed at the unlikely fantasy. I didn’t know what was less likely, those words passing my lips or Ellis receiving them with anything but horror or pity for me.

  I got up and threw my drink away, unable to stomach any more.

  Maybe Ellis believed in fighting for love, but I couldn’t fall into that trap. I had to put my personal longings aside and fight to remain El’s friend.

  CHAPTER 4

  Ellis

  I had Callahan for two different classes, and as I entered the Contracts course later that week, my stomach twisted in knots. I spotted Victor in this class too, but it was only for first years, so Clayton wasn’t in it.

  Ugh, why couldn’t it be the other way around? I could use some one-on-one time to remind Clayton of how good we were together.

  Victor narrowed his eyes on me as I made my way through rows of desks, clearly no happier to see me than I was him. At least he couldn’t insult my clothes. Today, I wore a pale pink button-down that fit me like a glove and beige linen slacks. I looked good, and I knew it, because there were a handful of students watching me make my way through the classroom.

  I smiled brightly, and for some unhinged reason, took a seat right beside my nemesis.

  “Hi, Vic!” I said brightly. “No Clayton for you to cling to in this class, huh?”

  Victor eyed me suspiciously. “I don’t cling to him. We’re just close.”

  “Hmm.” I opened my satchel and retrieved my laptop, which still sported stickers, but I’d switched out the most inappropriate ones. Now, I had a glittery gavel with rainbow lights beaming out of it, and another one that said: Lawyers always find your loophole.

  Victor snorted, and I glanced sidelong, braced for a rude retort. But his gaze was on the sticker. Huh. Apparently, he had a sense of humor.

  I tapped it. “This one doesn’t really work for Clayton, huh?”

  Victor gave me a confused look. “What…”

  “You know, because he’s the loophole.” At Victor’s blank look, I elaborated. “The hole? He’s the⁠—”

  “Oh my god, shut up!” Victor snapped, face turning bright red. “You’re not going to make me jealous, so stop trying.”

  “I wasn’t⁠—”

  Victor got up and moved a few seats down, shooting me a nasty look.

  Oops. I hadn’t actually meant to make him jealous. I’d just been making a stupid joke. One he didn’t seem to get. Was he just slow or…were him and Clayton not actually sleeping together?

  Hope fluttered in my gut. Then I glanced at Vic again and it sank. That guy had bitchy bottom written all over him. Maybe Clay was just topping because it was what Vic preferred.

  Ugh, I hated these thoughts.

  “All right, everyone,” Professor Callahan said at the front of the room. “Let’s talk about the art of iron-clad contract writing.”

  I looked up, eager to think about anything but Clay and Vic doing the dirty, and did a double-take.

  My best friend stood up front beside Callahan.

  “Jordan Maddox is going to TA this class, and he’s actually a perfect target for your stupidest questions,” Callahan said. “And yes, before you say it, there are stupid questions, and I’ve heard too many of them lately. So, Jordan is your man. Jordan, tell them why you’re qualified.”

  Jordan cleared his throat. “Uh, well, I’m nearly finished with an MBA in business as well as my law degree, and I’ve been interning at Callahan’s corporate law firm, where contracts are the bread and butter of their business.”

  “He also aced this class when he took it. No easy feat.” Callahan swept his gaze over us. “I will tell you now, if you can’t handle it, get out before the deadline to drop it. I will not go easy on anyone.”

  We all exchanged uneasy glances. Victor was staring hard at me, as if he could will me to immediately drop the class. I smiled, trying to project confidence.

  “If you’re determined to stay, make sure you find a study group,” Callahan continued. “I will drill you relentlessly. I will pop quizzes on you. Tell them why, Jordan.”

  “As a lawyer, you have to think on your feet,” he said. “Research has its place, and that’s where the study groups come in.” His eyes met mine, and it felt as if he was speaking to me personally. “Prepare thoroughly. As much as you can. But when the moment comes, you’ve got to be ready. When you’re negotiating with other lawyers, you can’t expect them not to prepare and strategize as much as you do. There’s always”—his gaze dropped to my sticker, and his lips twitched— “a loophole to watch out for.”

  I beamed at him, happy that he’d appreciated my little joke and relieved to have an ally in one of my classes, at least. With Victor’s narrow glares and Callahan’s hard-ass approach, my first week of law school had been nerve-racking.

  I’d gone to two other classes that weren’t exactly relaxed, but something told me Callahan’s classes would be the true test. If I could get through them, then I could handle anything law school threw at me.

  The rest of class went well, until Callahan excused us early to form a study group. Victor flitted from group to group, all smiles. I approached a quiet woman who’d clustered with three others. “Hey, can I⁠—”

  “Ellis!” Victor called, waving me over.

  Surprise shot through me. I wasn’t sure I wanted to join his group, but if he was going to offer an olive branch, I shouldn’t turn it down. It was going to be a long school year if we didn’t learn to get along. A long couple of years, really, until he graduated ahead of me.

  I crossed the room. “Thanks for the invite.”

  “Whoops, sorry,” Victor said with a fake smile. “We’re all full.”

  “But…”

  They all turned their backs to me. I turned, but the first group I’d approached had gained two more members, and a third group already huddled in a circle.

  Callahan had advised keeping the groups small. None of them would welcome me now. Victor had sidetracked me just long enough to ruin my chances.

  Which had been his aim, I realized, with a sinking heart.

  Jordan touched my arm. “You okay, El?”

  My lower lip quivered, but I bit it hard, determined not to give Victor the satisfaction of seeing me upset.

  “I don’t have a study group,” I murmured. “They’re all…”

  I waved a hand toward the groups, already fully formed and discussing their plans.

  Jordan frowned. “I’m sure someone could make space for you.”

  I shook my head. “They’re all settled in now, and you know Callahan said four or less members was ideal.”

  Victor glanced at me, wincing theatrically. “Sorry about the mix-up, Ellis. I guess you’ll just have to study alone.”

  “Asshole,” Jordan muttered under his breath. Then raising his voice, he said, “That’s okay, El. You can study with me.”

  Victor stood. “But you’re the TA.”

  Jordan shrugged. “That’s okay. I don’t mind ensuring every student has a fair shot at preparing for class.”

  “But that’s not fair,” Victor protested. “If you’re holding a study group, I want in. I didn’t know that was an option.”

  “Sorry,” Jordan said, sounding unapologetic. “This study group is closed to petty assholes.”

  Victor’s jaw dropped. Mine might have, as well. Jordan could be blunt at times, but he was never unkind. Victor had clearly pissed him off, big-time.

  “Professor Callahan⁠—”

  “Isn’t here,” Jordan cut in. “He left me to corral you all. So I suggest you get back with your study group and prepare for tomorrow. I happen to know there will be a quiz.”

  Victor’s eyes widened. “What? Seriously?”

  Jordan nodded. “Yep. Class dismissed. Have fun studying, everyone.”

  He waited for me to pack up and walked out of class with me. I glanced sidelong at him, surprised by this new side of him. A little stern. Kind of badass, in a smart professor sort of way. Hmm. Jordan kind of worked this TA thing. I bet half the class fell in crush with him.

  I wasn’t quite sure if he’d welcome that attention, though. I hadn’t seen Jordie date—or even talk about anyone who interested him. As far as I knew, he didn’t hook up either. Though it was hard to imagine him being celibate. I mean, I’d been celibate for a year now, saving myself for my reunion with Clayton, and it was painful as hell.

  I dealt with it by working out. A lot. But Jordie didn’t even have that physical outlet.

  “So, when do you want to study?” Jordan said, pulling his phone out. “I’ve got another class, but we could meet up around dinnertime?”

  “Oh.” His words brought me back to the present. “I thought you were fucking with Victor. Is there really a quiz?”

  “Eh, I can’t say for sure, but it’s likely.”

  My eyes widened. “Wow. Okay, then. Let’s meet up to study.”

  Jordan grinned, his face brightening. “Awesome. I’ll break out my old notes. It’ll be fun.”

  I raised my eyebrows. “You have a weird idea of fun, Jordie.”

  He snorted. “I know.”

  “I’m not complaining, since you’re helping me out. But, uh, you should let me help you have some real fun.”

  He missed a step, stumbling. I grabbed his arm to steady him. “Sorry. I’m a klutz. Uh, what kind of fun?”

  “Maybe we could find a party? I bet I could totally help you snag someone.”

  “Uh, not really my thing, El.”

  “Are you sure? Half the students will want some of that hot TA action.”

  Jordan reddened. “Uh, you know, I think I’ll stick with the studying.”

  “Too bad. Sex and exercise release the most endorphins. You’re missing out. Maybe⁠—”

  “I’ve gotta go,” he cut in. “Class.”

  Jordan took off for the sidewalk. I frowned after him, wondering if I’d pushed too hard. I hadn’t ever seen him move that fast.

  Victor rammed my shoulder as he came up beside me.

  “You might be the TA’s pet,” he muttered, “but you won’t ever get Clayton wrapped around your little finger again.”

  “You sound worried,” I said.

  He scoffed. “Not even close. I’m not worried. I’m the one wearing his ring. You’re just the guy he had fun with. You’re nothing⁠—”

  I walked off, leaving him ranting behind me. I tried not to let his words burrow under my skin. He was lashing out because he was jealous and threatened.

  But of course it stung. Because he wasn’t wrong.

  He wore Clayton’s ring, the ring I’d been so sure he was about to give me. He’d gotten all the promises I’d wanted, all the vows of love.

  And what I’d gotten hadn’t even felt like much fun in the end.

  Maybe Jordan had the right idea. Maybe celibacy was safer.

  CHAPTER 5

  Jordan

  I knocked on El’s dorm room door at 6:15 that evening. Butterflies fluttered around my stomach, even though this was just a routine study session. We’d done dozens over the past year.

  His words from earlier today still circled my brain. Sex and exercise release the most endorphins. You’re missing out.

  He wasn’t wrong. I would love to release some endorphins with Ellis—preferably with sex rather than a gym workout—but I could hardly tell him that. He saw me as a friend.

  My knuckles had barely hit the door when Ellis yanked it open. “There you are.”

  I adjusted the strap on my army green messenger bag. “Sorry. I got caught up at Callahan’s office, and then I had to swing by my place before heading back to campus.”

  “Don’t apologize. You’re doing me a huge favor.” He stepped back. “Come in.”

  “Oh, uh, I thought we could go to the library…” I trailed off as I took in his sweaty tank and clingy shorts that left so very little to the imagination. And my imagination really didn’t need help when it came to lusting after my best friend.

  “I’m already set up here,” Ellis said.

  I stepped inside, shutting the door behind me, and just about swallowed my tongue when Ellis pulled his tank top over his head, baring his muscular physique.

  “Wh-what?” I fumbled.

  Ellis seemed oblivious to the way my eyes tried to pop out of my head.

  “I was just getting a light workout in. I haven’t been able to spend as much time at the gym. When I am there, I’ve got to focus on getting personal trainer hours in, you know? My parents are paying my tuition, but I don’t want to ask them to pay for my room and board too.”

  I nodded, heart still lodged in my throat as I panicked inside.

  Do not get hard. Do NOT get hard.

  Ellis pulled a fresh shirt on, one with sleeves, mercifully. The relief was short-lived. He sprawled out on his bed, resting on his elbows, legs manspreading all over the place.

  My brain nearly imploded at the sight of his bulky body, muscles popping every which way, in the place he slept every night. In the place he might…do other unmentionable things, too.

  I took a breath. “Are you sure you don’t want to go to the library? It might be more comfortable.”

  “More comfortable than my bed?” Ellis scoffed. “No, this is good.”

  Damn. I really wasn’t sure I could focus with him on his bed. Ellis and I spent enough time together that I’d almost desensitized myself to his attractiveness. Almost. But usually we met up on campus, grabbed dinner, or hung out at Zach’s. We didn’t lounge around in our bedrooms together.

  “You’re probably hungry,” I hedged. “We can’t have you studying on an empty stomach.”

  “Yeah, I am.”

  “Good, so let’s go out.”

  Ellis popped up—at least he was off the bed now—and grabbed his cell from his dresser top. “I’ll order in. Pizza good?”

  “Okay, where is my best friend, you body snatcher! The El I know and lo—like would never put pizza in the holy temple of his body.”

  That slip was totally unnoticeable, right? Kill me now.

  Ellis snorted a laugh. “Normally, you’d be right, but I’ve been really good all week, and I need some reward for studying, right? Not to mention not tearing out Vic’s hair.”

  I chuckled. “I admire your restraint.”

  “He’s just such a jerk! I don’t know what Clay sees in him.”

  “Well, I don’t know what you see in Clay, so…” Ellis turned wounded eyes on me, and I changed the subject. “Let me get out my notes. We should get to work.”

  While Ellis placed an order via an app on his phone, I set my bag on his desk and unloaded my old notes from Callahan’s course.

  Focus on the task at hand. That will get you through tonight. You survived all those LSAT tutor sessions. You can do this too.

  Of course, Ellis had come to my place for LSAT tutoring. And we’d done it in the living room, not a bedroom. He also hadn’t taken off his shirt right in front of me.

  My crush hadn’t been half as bad before I saw how smart and determined he was, either.

  Still, I could do this, right?

  “I’m ready.” El’s breath tickled my neck, and I jumped. He’d come up behind me while I sorted out the notes. “Let’s study!”

  I laughed, some of my tension easing at his enthusiasm. Ellis could be such an adorable golden retriever sometimes, but you couldn’t fault his optimism.

  “Okay, I’ve got my notes.” I held them up. “We can go over what my highlighting code means, so you know what’s most important.”

  Ellis took them from me, scanning the first section. “This is great, Jordan. I was afraid I was in over my head with this class after Callahan’s speech about first years. You’re really saving my ass.”

  “It’s just some notes.”

  “From the TA, who also happened to be a kickass student. I’m getting a huge advantage over every other student in the class, and I know it.” Ellis paused. “It almost makes me feel guilty. Except when it comes to Victor. Can you tutor everyone but Victor? Or even better, give him tainted notes with all the wrong information? I want to see him squirm as he realizes he’s inferior to me in every way.”

  Ellis clapped a hand over his mouth, eyes wide and horrified.

  I laughed. “Are you okay?”

  Ellis dropped onto the end of his bed and groaned. “That was so mean. I’m not mean. I’m usually, like, the nicest. Do you think I’m horrible?”

 

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