The Recreators, page 23
He turned and went back down the mountain without looking back.
Into Eternity
Vepresila lay on her bed and watched the flames in the fireplace. A fire that always burned, with fuel that never ended. It looked so real. She could feel the heat. If she went closer, she smelled the burning wood. She had burned her hand on the flames. Yet it was an illusion. Though her skin had been flaming red and pained her, it had healed as if it had never happened.
She wondered if she was in a real bed and a real house or if that too was an illusion. The whole world around her could be a dream. It was not. She felt she was about to cross the border into madness.
The fire in front of her eyes was not that hard to grasp. Leola had said they were Recreators and what that meant was not trivial things. For one who all her life sought to get closer to Illu, the Goddess, it was unrealistic and blasphemous to suggest the real divine forces were there if you only wanted to learn.
One way to handle it was to claim everything was heresy, and all they had were illusions and tricks. The second approach was that the life she had marked out for herself and willingly followed was a lie. Had she not seen and heard Simmiolas? If she had not known him, she would never imagine what they offered her was more than a scam.
Even if she had not been able to take in the offer entirely, she knew the school was indeed the real thing. Simmiolas had brought her there. Simmiolas who knew she wanted to travel and see the world had sent her to a prison. She had gone from one closed temple to another. They would not scare her and flog her to win her obedience, but she would never be able to leave until the Masters released her.
Naturally, she had tried. She had opened the gate and walked away, straight out over the moor, away from it all. Several hours later she had been back at the entrance again. Leola had tried to say something to her, but she had just turned and ran away, without listening. Additional hours later she had, cold and frozen, returned to the same place without her wish.
Leola had told her everyone tries to leave once or twice, sometimes even more, but no one had ever succeeded to leave the bubble of timelessness on their own. Vepresila tried to go for an entire week. She aimed some landmark, but the ground was so flat it was difficult. She kept track of where the sun was, but it was behind gray clouds. She made sure the building behind was always behind her. As she walked, she tried to compensate for walking in circles, to keep a straight line. No matter method, she still always returned to the starting point, cold and hungry. Leola waited patiently for her and made sure she got food in front of the warm fire every time.
When she had given up her hope to leave on her own, she had spent a lot of energy on being angry and frustrated, which proved even more useless. No matter who or how she provoked, she could not make anyone mad. Not even when she hit Leola in the face and shoved her down to the floor, it had brought any anger.
Leola had, however, stopped taking care of her and she had been left alone in her room. She was free to move around in the school, but she had suddenly found herself completely alone. Hot food was always in the dining room when she came in, but no one was seen. Vepresila was not afraid of being alone, and because the isolation had come as a direct result of her violent outburst, she took for granted she was subjected to a punishment. Since there had been people around before, she assumed she would sooner or later get back to the others.
The fact was, she enjoyed her solitude. In the certainty it would not last forever, she took advantage of what she assumed was a time-limited period. On her own, she went to the library and read the books and scrolls. They did not tell her as much as she had hoped. Most of it seemed too complicated for her. She kept reading because she was delighted by this new-found ability and its possibilities.
But it did not help her to get away from the feeling she was becoming crazy. She looked into the flames and wished she could turn off all thoughts.
Someone knocked on the door, and Vepresila sat up. In the doorway stood a woman dressed in blue-gray pants and tunic, but with the same black, soft boots as the other students. Over the tunic, she had some thin outer layer that looked like glistening waves on the water.
“I’m Ulleas, Master of Water” she introduced herself. “May I come in?”
Vepresila nodded, and Ulleas sat down beside her on the bed. The thin fabric on the outside of the tunic billowed as if a wind still come across the water. Vepresila looked at her and wondered if she was dreaming somehow.
“Are you real?” The question was stupid. She would get a yes, no matter how real or unreal the person next to her was. And indeed the woman nodded.
“Most of this is real. The people in particular.”
“Is this bed cover real? The bed? The house?” Ulleas nodded to all her questions.
“Timelessness does nothing unreal.”
“The fire? Leola said the fire was an illusion.”
“It depends on how you look at it,” the Master replied and considered Vepresila with dark, clear eyes. “It has flames, and it gets warm, you get burned if you put your hand in it. All a fire should be. On the other hand, it consumes no fuel. It’s alight in timelessness, which makes it everlasting. So in a way, it becomes an illusion, because it behaves like a fire in every aspect except that it doesn’t use up the wood. It’s a fire, frozen in time, and so also the heat it emits. You could say the heat is the same heat that constantly surrounds it. Do you understand?”
Vepresila pondered and nodded. Yes, she did. Although what the Master said sounded crazy. It appeared more reasonable than an illusion. She got an explanation that given the circumstances she was in, seemed logical and understandable. Timelessness began to take shape and gain control and become something other than a sense of madness in her head.
“I was a priestess,” she began. Ulleas watched her without interfering. “I fled from the Temple. All my life I dreamed of coming close to the Goddess as her chosen. The Temple felt so far from the Goddess as it possibly could. I was glad to get out of there.”
She threw a shy glance at the Master beside her, wondering it what she had said was something inappropriate, but Ulleas just listened with interest.
“Once I got a glimpse of what more there was to see in the world, I wanted to travel. Simmiolas fooled me. When he said we would travel to Alsyone, he said he came from here, so…” The anger did not flare up anymore.
“Simmiolas had his reasons for choosing you, and we never question a former student’s choice of new students,” the other said. “You’re here, and even if you’re here against your will, we wish you no harm. The sooner you accept the situation, the better for yourself.”
“You want me to be a passive fool who just accept her situation?” Vepresila thought of all the women in the tribe at home who never questioned things and always followed the rules that applied to appropriate conduct. So even her mother.
“Nay!” Master of Water returned. Vepresila jumped at Ulleas’ protest. “We want your questions. The more you question things, the more answers and new solutions we’ll find. The world is in constant motion, and it’s important not to do what we’ve always done just because we don’t dare to do something differently. Questioning is an important part of the education.”
“But I can’t question the fact that I’m here?”
“Of course you can. There’s no ban. Other than that we don’t let go students who we don’t think can handle the knowledge we’ve given them.”
“Then I question your right to keep me, prisoner, here.”
“You’ve read our story, how our world was created. Then you know the God who once created our world has left us. She gave us power in the form of the Word and the Free Will. Together they form the Sense of the World. A kind of spirit, or the Cloud or whatever you want to call it. A mind all living things share. Most people have left the Cloud. And when they did, they lost the feeling for the nature around them and began to destroy it. Not consciously. But simply because they did not understand better. They couldn’t listen anymore, and understand that they disturbed the equilibrium between giving and taking. Without us, the Recreators, the world will perish in time. If all Recreators stopped doing their job today, it might take hundreds of years, but the world would die. Do you understand?”
Vepresila nodded.
“I understand what you say, but I don’t believe it.”
“You don’t need to. A person’s life is not long if you consider how long the world existed. We need to take young people so that they have time to do their task.”
“Why can’t they be allowed to choose for themselves?”
“We’ve tried that. Believe me. Our story is not quite as long as humankind, but almost. You have time to try many ways to solve things at that time. And all experiences are recorded. When we let young people choose, we received many with a hunger for power or glory. It turned out we needed a diverse group of people for the results to be good. All kinds of people are needed. It’s true even for Recreators.”
Master of Water leaned toward her and put a friendly arm around Vepresila’s shoulders. “It might be nice to know that you’ll always be welcome and can never be wrong or unworthy of our eyes.”
Vepresila fought tears. Physical contact had been avoided in the tribe. Mothers held their babies, but when the children were four or five years old they stopped it, and they taught them not to touch other people. All contact had been prohibited in the Temple. Not only regarded as inappropriate but something to be punished. The only time someone had touched her was when they tied her with the rope from the ceiling.
This strange woman’s arm radiated such warmth and security. She did not feel offended or a victim of a violation. She had met someone who wished her well and cared about her. Finally, her face got soaking wet in a stream of tears and Master of Water hugged her like a child. She did not know how long she was crying, but it felt liberating, and she stopped fighting back. When the tears had ended she mumbled:
“I’m sorry I hit Leola.”
“Tell her that yourself.” Ulleas smiled at her.
“Can I see her?” Vepresila was hopeful. She had begun to yearn to meet other people again.
“Of course.”
Vepresila flew up from the bed and out the door.
“Vepresila,” the other’s voice called her back. The Master pointed to a hook on the wall where a set of school clothes hung, unused.
Her first impulse was not to change, but it was nothing but senseless not to. The border between defiance and questioning could perhaps be subtle, but just then the change of clothes felt nothing but natural. Ulleas left her alone.
Vepresila pulled off her old clothes – the dress Simmiolas gave her – and pulled on the new and felt the warm, soft fabric comfort her skin with a shiver of pleasure. She would not have to go into eternity ruffled and frozen.
In the shadow of what once was
Master of Water left them a few days later when Filia proved she had some control over her new mind. Filia and Satéll remained in Dem’s residence. Satéll became more and more impatient, and one morning he prepared his horse.
“It’s time for me to return. I have a king to overthrow, and I’ve already let him wreak havoc long enough.” Filia nodded without making any attempt to stop him, or follow along.
“I need your help, Filia,” he requested as gently as he could.
Filia may have adequate control over her abilities. Yet within her, there was still a lot of confusion. Who was she? And what would she do? She would save the nature on Halliakon, but where and how were still unanswered questions for her. She agreed Frater must be removed from power. Satéll suggested she should accompany him and take the throne after Frater, but she shook her head. No, somehow there was no such need for her anymore. It felt uninteresting now though she strove all her life for it.
She turned toward Satéll when she heard him laughing.
“I never guessed you were blond,” he grinned. Filia put her hand to her head and felt the hair longer than it had been in three years, but still little more than stubble.
“You thought my hair was black, didn’t you? Would fit the suit the better. I guess my freckles also arrived at this point?” Satéll leaned forward and examined her face.
“Well, yes, actually. Unbelievable. You can soon pass for a human.” Filia snorted. Satéll became serious. “For the last time, will you follow me back to Lahall?”
She closed her eyes and searched within for the answer, but soon she turned her interest outward and listened to the nature around her.
Gently and unfamiliar, she sent out a question. She felt or heard how the question was forwarded between all who lived and how it somewhere far away came to an answer back the same way. She was full of wonder it was possible to communicate without actual words. She had asked if there was any particular place people destroyed right now and received an answer emanated from the destructiveness of the stone-clad hill: the Castle of Lahall.
Animals had no reason to suspect a particular person. Fields and forests were destroyed. There was something there they felt – in a person or the place; she did not know. She nodded and opened her eyes, only to realize Satéll had grown tired of waiting and ridden away.
The sun had moved a good bit over the sky since she closed her eyes. No wonder he gave up. In practical terms, she was irritated because he had left with the only horse. On foot, she would not be able to catch up with him. Whatever ability Master of Water used to get there and leave, it was beyond what she had learned. She packed what was needed and set off towards Lahall on foot.
It struck her as she walked on the road that she never made her way anywhere on foot any long distances before. She had always ridden a horse or a carriage but never walked. When she thought about it now, it felt like she had ever had so much else to think about than the very nature she had around her. For a moment a spirit of bitterness hovered around in her mind and tried to point out all her previous years had been a kind of lie, but she pushed the thought aside. It was nothing but destructive and would not bring her closer to a solution to either the current state or the future. What has been has been. Learn from it and move on.
In the absence of makeup, she got dirty with mud on her face and on her clothes to avoid detection. The snakes on the cheeks and forehead were too revealing, though she was not bald, pale and dressed in black anymore. Although it was not a role she would resume, Filia was a wanted woman. She also knew she was linked to many unpleasant and uncomfortable things by most. She had been a dark, fearsome power and publicly humiliated in the crudest way.
In the same situation, she had demonstrated an uncanny destructive inner force that struck people to the ground. It felt like Filia had created too many memories for the townspeople for her to do well not to return at all. But she must return. Lahall was the center of what was now destroying nature, and it was her job to correct it, whatever it was. No matter what history she had with the location.
The city Filia met when she wandered onto the streets were nothing of the city she knew. Although it was the middle of the day hardly any people were seen and most shops were closed. Left were a few trade shops and a miserable group of townspeople who appeared to be in a hurry. There was anguish among the houses. Anyone she saw disappeared as fast as they could around a corner. It was as Filia wondered if it was her they fled. When she encountered two soldiers who wandered down the street in full armor, she got enough explanation. They pushed her against a wall and asked her who she was and where she came from and where she lived. Her evasive answers did not fall in their favor.
“We don’t want beggars here,” one of the soldiers hissed and put a fist in her stomach. The air went out of her, and she sank to her knees. A foot hit her head so hard she thought it would explode and she landed flat on the ground, and everything went black.
Múllirem saw Filia’s eyelids flutter. She stroked a cool cloth over her forehead and cheeks.
“Will she survive?” Satéll asked. She heard the concern in his voice.
A nod. Filia would survive. One of her cheekbones was probably cracked, and it would ache for long, but otherwise, she seemed to have escaped in stunningly good shape. Should she be surprised? She had seen how the girl had had a hanging noose tightened around her neck and still fell straight through it as if it was not there. Was it the same magic that worked now, or had the girl just been lucky? Soon enough she might get an answer.
Múllirem pulled Satéll out of the room. It was getting dark, and soon the others would come. She wanted to get a few minutes with Satéll alone. Time was short; she went straight to the point:
“I choose to trust you, but the others will not be as easy to convince.” Satéll nodded, understanding. She smiled approvingly; This was not a naive fool.
“I’ll be perfectly honest with you,” she continued. “Filia wasn’t very popular. Don’t take for granted that she’s welcome.”
“You’ll find it difficult to do this battle without her. Me, I’m just a warrior, but Filia, you would really benefit from her.” Múllirem agreed. There was a knock on the front door, and she started to walk down the stairs.
“She can speak for herself when she’s awake. Until then, you be sure to make yourself credible enough to convince them.”
She walked down the stairs and opened the front door. Vetes waited outside. His legs had had time to heal, and he hurried over the threshold so that Múllirem could close the door again.
“I heard it’ll be an interesting evening,” he murmured. Múllirem nodded.
That an assassin and a witch could constitute an exciting meeting was an understatement. It was a significant risk they took, implicating them all as rebels. The group was brittle as it was. At the same time, it was probably their best time to get Frater from the throne. He was not popular, and it was a good chance they could get support from others once started.
