Falling Like Snowflakes, page 27
No, she refused to believe that.
She rounded the curve and climbed the hill, her heart finding a new speed.
It had started snowing as she’d entered town, big, fluffy flakes that splashed onto her windshield. Remembering the snow globe, she’d taken the flurries as a positive sign. Now the symbol seemed as flimsy as a sheer curtain.
She crested the hill and coasted down the incline. At the bottom the fringe of her lights caught on something red off to the side. Beau’s truck was parked in front of the outbuilding. A dim light shone through the window, illuminating the windowpane she’d broken. The front door was cracked open a sliver.
Surely he wasn’t working this late. He never worked after supper, not even during the busy season. She slowed and pulled in beside the truck.
A moment later she got out of the car and approached the building, her boots crunching in the fresh snow. She stopped at the door to catch her breath, quaking in her boots. Her heart beat violently against her ribs, her breaths came quick and shallow, and her mouth felt as if it were stuffed with cotton. She drew a deep breath.
God, help me.
The door creaked quietly on its hinges as she pushed it open. Flurries blew in, swirling wildly around her. She scanned the dank space and found it empty. Her gaze caught on the open back door. She was about to move forward when he appeared in the doorway.
He stopped in his tracks, his eyes falling on her, then widening. His mouth slackened. He pulled earbuds from his ears, his gaze raking over her.
She wondered if he liked her as a brunette, and her hand went straight to her hair.
He was a welcome sight in his sturdy work coat and jeans. His hair was a bit longer, tousled from the wind. His jaw sported a five o’clock shadow, and his eyes looked fathomless in the dim light.
Everything she’d rehearsed flew out the window at the sight of him, standing there looking so beautifully rugged. Suddenly she wanted him to know her. All of her. She could trust him with all the pieces.
“Eden,” she blurted.
He blinked as if he wasn’t sure what he was seeing, hearing.
“My name . . .” Her voice wobbled, and her heart felt as if it would burst from her chest. “It’s Eden.”
He stared at her for a long, agonizing moment. Her chest felt like it might collapse on her. Her lungs constricted, obstructing her breath.
“Why are you here?”
She gave a nervous laugh. “I was in the neighborhood?”
His lips didn’t even twitch. His eyes had lost that shell-shocked look, leaving nothing but inscrutable shadows.
She shifted. Her legs felt like jelly, and her stomach had tightened into a hard knot. She swallowed hard, licked her dry lips.
“Okay, I was—obviously that’s not true.” An empty feeling expanded in the pit of her stomach. She tucked her hair behind her ears. “I had all this planned out, and now I don’t remember any of it. But I had to see you. Talk to you.
“I thought leaving would give me my freedom, Beau. And in some ways it has. I can put the cans away with the labels facing backwards, and I can let clothes sit in the dryer for two days if I want. I can read novels and buy junk food and go over the speed limit. I can fill the tub all the way to the top and run to the store without worrying what my mileage will show and turn the thermostat up to seventy-five if I feel like it.”
Beau’s eyebrows lowered, and he cocked his head to the side. “So what’s the problem?”
The tender notes in his deep voice heartened her. “The problem is . . . I’m free from everything but my own fear.”
He frowned. “You don’t need to be afraid anymore. They’re locked up. You’re safe.”
“I’m not afraid of them.” She gave a wry smile. “I’m afraid of you.”
His eyes flashed. “I would never hurt you.”
“I know that. That’s not what I—” She shook her head. “I’m not saying this right.”
Think, Eden. Where to start? At the beginning?
“When I first came here, it was hard to trust anyone. It was especially hard to trust men. But the more I saw you, the more I realized you were one of the good guys. You were always gentle and caring and giving. It was new to me. I guess part of me was falling for you even then. But I was safe, because you were taken. But then you broke up with her, and you kissed me . . . and nothing was the same after that.”
“For me either.” His voice rumbled deep and low, and his dark eyes softened.
“I didn’t realize until I was in that cabin that I’d never have true freedom if I continued to let fear hold me captive.”
“What are you afraid of?”
“I held back with you because I couldn’t trust a man again. I was afraid of ending up right back where I’d been. But somehow, even knowing that, I couldn’t stop it from happening. Even though I tried so hard. Even though I left . . . it happened anyway.”
He took a step, then another. He didn’t stop until he was a touch away.
Her heart raced, and her breaths grew shallow. So close. She wanted to grab him and kiss those perfect lips.
“What happened, honey?”
She melted at the endearment, at the look in his eyes. “I fell in love with you.” Her words left her mouth on a rush of air.
Something flared in his eyes. He pulled off his gloves, his eyes never leaving her, and cradled her face. His hands were warm and rough against her cold cheeks.
“Eden . . .,” he whispered. “I love you too.”
Her heart rolled over in her chest at the sound of her name on his lips.
He leaned down and kissed her. This was no soft, barely there brush. He took her mouth as if he was desperate for it. As if he’d thought he’d never taste her again. He pulled her against him, into his warmth.
She melted into his chest. Her fingers found the soft strands of his hair at his nape and lingered there. Her lips parted on a breath, and he took full advantage. She gave back, move for move.
She couldn’t believe she was here, back in his arms. She’d missed him so much. Missed this. The way he made her feel. Wanted. Loved. Cherished.
He pulled back a moment later, and she whimpered in protest. But he didn’t go far. He rested his forehead on hers, his eyes closed. Their breaths came raggedly, the space between them heating up fast.
She was home. His arms were home. She felt it all the way down to the warm marrow of her bones. She cupped his scruffy jaw, delighting in the rough scrape against her palm. She pulled in a breath of him, savoring it.
“If I’m dreaming, don’t wake me.” His voice was as thick as honey.
“You’re not dreaming.” She traced the shape of those lips. They were damp and plush and too far away. “You have really nice lips. I missed them.”
One side of them kicked up, his eyes opening. “Is that all you missed?”
She couldn’t count on both hands everything she’d missed about Beau. About the Callahans, about Summer Harbor. It was a special community. She felt at home here, and it would be a great place to raise Micah. She wanted that for him.
“I’m coming back to Summer Harbor.”
Beau pulled her closer on a sigh. “I am dreaming.”
He probably imagined her falling right back into the Callahan household as though nothing had changed. But she wasn’t ready for that. She needed time to stand on her own two feet without the threat of danger hanging over her head. She needed to get to know herself, remember who she was.
She pulled back and looked him in the eye. “Beau . . . I need to get my own place. I’ve started my website business back up, and I want to make it viable. I need to work on this fear issue I’m having. It’s not going away overnight. This is still . . . scary for me.”
He cupped her face, his eyes piercing hers. “Take all the time you need, honey. I’m not going anywhere.”
A smile tilted the corners of her lips just before he brushed it away with his own. She couldn’t think anymore with his mouth on hers. With the tingly heat moving up her limbs and settling down deep inside. She was suddenly seeing a whole new side to all this freedom, and she liked it. She liked it a lot.
Epilogue
Hurry up.” Beau gave her rear end a pat as she got in the passenger side of his truck. “We’re going to be late.”
“Late for what? Nothing’s even open.”
With a furtive smile, he closed the door and walked around the truck.
She buckled her seat belt, rubbed her sleepy eyes, and slumped against the seat. Micah had spent the night with her dad, who’d moved to Summer Harbor last month. He’d found a good job at the elementary school, doing custodial work.
When Beau opened his door the dome light came on, bright against the predawn sky. He turned the engine over and spared her a smile as he set his arm across the seat to back from her drive.
“Are you going to tell me why you’re dragging me out of bed at the crack of dawn?”
He winked. “Patience, my love.”
They rode through the darkened town, quiet and empty on the summer morning. There was a little life at the harbor as lobster-men got an early start on their days.
Just past the harbor, across from the rocky beach, he slowed and parallel parked across from the boardwalk. Zip, zip, and he was tucked into the space between a car and a delivery truck.
“Show-off,” she muttered.
“You can’t be good at everything.”
He opened her door, grabbed a quilt from the back of the truck, and pulled her toward the beach. When he found a spot covered with thick sand, he stopped and spread out the blanket.
“It’s a little early for sunbathing,” she said.
“I don’t remember you being so grumpy in the morning,” he teased.
“I didn’t have time for coffee.”
He lowered himself to the blanket and pulled her down in front of him. She settled against his chest, his warmth driving away the chill in the air.
“Madam . . .” He handed her a thermos she hadn’t noticed before.
“Oh, bless you.” She poured the hot brew into the lid, took a sip, and shared with him. Much better.
The smell of the brew mingled with the tangy scent of sea air. The cool breeze fanned her skin, pushing her hair from her face, and the water lapped the pebbled shore. The clouds on the horizon were beginning to brighten, the black fading to dark hues of blue.
A couple months ago she’d mentioned that she’d never watched a sunrise. He seemed intent on being there for all her firsts. The first time she rented a house. The first time she opened her own bank account. The first time she swam in the ocean. She embraced her freedom, and Beau was there, supporting her however he could.
The past four months had been the best of her life. She’d worked hard to grow her business, and she now had enough to sustain her without dipping into her savings too much. Things were going well for the farm too. She’d designed a website—snowy blue with white and silver. It had turned out great, and Beau’s online business was up and running.
Riley had returned home for his ten-day leave after boot camp in March. The time had gone by too fast, and before they knew it he was on his way to Camp Geiger in North Carolina for School of Infantry. He finished that in late May and was now stationed in Afghanistan. They’d heard from him twice so far. The family worried, but he seemed to be thriving as a marine.
Micah was also flourishing. He’d made friends in their neighborhood and was due to start kindergarten in the fall at the school where her dad worked. Her son had started seeing a counselor, and Eden was beginning to see more of the old, carefree Micah once again.
She was experiencing a little of that herself. Beau had been a big part of it. He listened to her when she needed to talk, played with her when she needed to laugh. He called her just to say he missed her and did crazy things like waking her during the predawn hours to watch the sunrise together.
She still struggled with some issues. When he was moody she sometimes felt anxious, and when he got into his caretaker mode, it made her feel smothered. But they talked it out and worked to resolve the issues. Beau was good at solving problems. He had patience. It was her new favorite trait.
He tightened his arms around her, and she snuggled in closer. His breath warmed her temple, sending a shiver down her arms.
He rubbed the gooseflesh away. “Cold?”
“Nope.” She replaced the empty thermos lid and curled her arms around his, perfectly content in his embrace.
Shades of periwinkle appeared in the sky now, swathed in purple. Pink and yellow began washing over the sky. It seemed to grow brighter by the second, the pink glowing so brilliantly it almost hurt her eyes. The colors were reflected in the harbor, turning the water a radiant shade of purple. The light silhouetted the boats moored there, their masts pointing like skinny fingers toward the sky.
Just when she thought the view couldn’t be any more impressive, a sliver of pink slipped over the horizon.
“Beautiful,” she whispered, not wanting to break the spell.
He pressed a kiss to her temple. “New beginnings usually are.”
They watched in silence as the sliver turned into a semicircle, and the semicircle became a glowing pink globe, balanced on the horizon. She was in awe of the beauty. Of the very idea that this happened every morning behind the scenes while she slept.
Beau shifted, his hand leaving her stomach, and she missed it. But it returned a moment later, holding something small and square.
He opened the box, and her eyes widened. She sucked in a breath.
A solitaire diamond winked back, reflecting the pink rays of dawn. She turned and met his eyes, those beautiful brown eyes, focused solely on her.
“I love you, Eden Martelli,” he said in that low, smoky voice. “I love your beautiful smile and the way your laugh brightens the whole room. I love your warm heart and your quiet strength. I love how tender you are with Micah.”
She placed her palm over her aching heart, catching her breath as he continued.
“I want nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to cherish you every day. I want to laugh together and celebrate every new beginning together. I want to be Micah’s daddy—and maybe give him a brother or sister or two . . .” His lips kicked up at the corners.
They went flat again as a somber look washed over his eyes. “You’re the love of my life, Eden. Will you marry me?”
“Oh, Beau . . .” He took her breath away. He made her believe in new beginnings and happily-ever-afters.
“I don’t want to rush you. We can be engaged for as long as you want, but you’re it for me. You’re the one. There’ll never be another.”
“Yes,” she breathed. “I want all of that, and I want it with you.”
The smile that curled his mouth was priceless. Love shone in his eyes as he lowered his lips to hers, brushing them ever so tenderly. His kiss was a soft exploration, a confident proclamation, a gentle promise. She absorbed it all, welcomed it, gave it right back.
When his arms tightened around hers she forgot all about the ring. All about the sunrise and the birds awakening nearby. She forgot about everything but the man holding her—the one who’d shown her what love could be. What love was supposed to be.
Another beautiful day had begun. It was the beginning of many more, and she could hardly wait to see what each one held.
Discussion Questions
1. Who was your favorite character? Why? Who did you most relate to?
2. What was your favorite scene in the book? Why?
3. Riley’s way of dealing with Beau and Paige’s relationship was to join the military. Have you ever run from a problem? How did that work out?
4. After Beau’s mom died, the Callahans let Christmas traditions fall by the wayside. Have you ever faced painful reminders of the past? How did you deal with them?
5. It took Eden awhile to trust again after her experience with Antonio. Discuss how trust is built and lost.
6. Eden had been married to a man who controlled her every move. Discuss his methods of control and why you think Eden may have been susceptible to them.
7. Antonio used scripture to justify his abuse. Does this happen in the church today? What would you do if you were in Eden’s marriage?
8. Discuss the role of the husband according to scripture.
9. If you discovered a friend was suffering under a controlling husband, what advice would you give? How would you help her?
10. Eden thought she’d be free at Loon Lake but discovered fear was holding her captive. Discuss a time when fear held you captive. How did you overcome it?
Acknowledgments
Writing a book is a team effort, and I’m so grateful for the fabulous team at HarperCollins Christian Fiction, led by publisher Daisy Hutton: Ansley Boatman, Katie Bond, Amanda Bostic, Karli Jackson, Kristen Golden, Elizabeth Hudson, Jodi Hughes, Ami McConnell, Becky Monds, Becky Philpott, Kerri Potts, and Kristen Ingebretson.
Thanks especially to my editor, Ami McConnell: friend, advocate, and editor extraordinaire. I’m constantly astounded by your gift of insight. Thanks also to editor LB Norton, who has saved me from countless errors and makes me look so much better than I am.
Author Colleen Coble is my first reader. Thank you, friend! Writing wouldn’t be nearly as much fun without you!
I’m grateful to my agent, Karen Solem, who’s able to somehow make sense of the legal garble of contracts and, even more amazing, help me understand it.
Thank you to Mainer Susan Faloon, who kindly agreed to read this manuscript to make sure I’d gotten the setting details right. Any errors that made it into print are mine alone.
