Dakota Skies, page 61
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Margaret Clemens stood defiantly in the middle of Maddy’s bedroom. Dressed in jeans and a plaid shirt with leather vest, she looked as if she’d walked off the cover of a Louis L’Amour novel. “There’s no rule that says a woman has to wear a dress to a wedding, is there?”
“Margaret, come on. Don’t you want Matt to notice you?”
She hesitated. “How will he know if I’m wearing pantyhose or not?”
“He’ll know,” Maddy assured her with a confidence that defied question.
Despite Margaret’s protests, Maddy was lending her a dress for Buffalo Bob and Merrily’s wedding. It was the perfect opportunity for Margaret to put into practice all the “girl” things Maddy had been telling her about over the past few months.
“How can I wear one of your dresses? We couldn’t possibly be the same size.”
“We’re close enough that it won’t matter. Now stop arguing with me.”
Margaret muttered a swearword.
“None of that,” Maddy chastised, opening her closet door. “We’ll start with these,” she said, pulling out a number of outfits and carefully placing them across the foot of her bed.
“You didn’t tell anyone we were doing this, did you?” Margaret asked. She unfastened her leather belt. Unzipping the jeans, she slipped out of them and stood bare-legged in a pair of dark brown socks.
Maddy analyzed Margaret’s legs, which weren’t half-bad. They had a nice shape and tapered smoothly at the ankles.
“I’ll have you know I’ve never worn a dress in my life.” She paused, then amended the statement. “I’ve never worn a dress for more than five minutes in my life. Once my daddy tried to get me into one—I think I was about ten. Said it was easier to herd a thousand head of cattle than to get me to try on that stupid dress. Never did it again. He said I was the sorriest-looking sight he’d ever seen, told me I could wear what I wanted and I have from that point on.”
“What do you think?” Maddy asked, holding up a sleeveless blue dress with a frothy three-quarter jacket of pale blue chiffon.
Margaret studied it and shook her head. “That isn’t me at all.”
Maddy’s next choice was another sleeveless dress, full-length this time. It was straight with slits up both sides. The dress was made of black matte satin covered with huge red poppies. Maddy had a crocheted black jacket that went with it.
Margaret took a long time making up her mind. “I suppose I could try on that one,” she said with no real enthusiasm.
“Well, if it doesn’t work there are plenty more.”
“You sure about this pantyhose thing?” Margaret muttered. Not waiting for a response, she sat on the edge of the bed and pulled off her socks. Maddy unwrapped a fresh pair of nylons and handed them to her.
“Just promise me that if these things wrestle me to the ground, you’ll go for help,” Margaret said wryly.
Maddy laughed outright. After months of visiting Margaret, she’d come to think of her as a dear friend. Raised as she was, Margaret had little concept of what it meant to display—or enjoy—her femininity.
“Are you surprised about Buffalo Bob and Merrily?” Margaret asked as she held up the pantyhose. The long sheer legs dangled from her hands onto the carpet. Margaret stared at them, frowning.
“More pleased than anything.” Maddy guessed this was going to be the most festive social event the town had seen in almost a year—since the Sinclairs’ wedding. With Leta and Hassie’s help, Father McGrath had been persuaded to perform the ceremony. No need to mail out invitations. Everyone in Buffalo Valley and vicinity was invited. The reception would be held at 3 OF A KIND, with a huge buffet included.
Merrily had borrowed Lindsay’s wedding dress, and there was a rumor a three-piece band had been hired to play for the dance. Everyone Maddy knew was planning to attend.
That Buffalo Bob and Merrily were deeply in love was undeniable. Bob didn’t hide his feelings for Merrily and Axel, and in some ways Maddy was envious.
She would have preferred to be married herself, especially since she was nearly seven months pregnant, and definitely self-conscious about it. At least she wouldn’t be the only pregnant woman there. Lindsay was just as big as she was.
Margaret donned the pantyhose and pranced around the room. Then she reached down and touched her toes and squatted like a Sumo wrestler. “Feels like one of those huge jungle snakes got itself wrapped around my waist,” she muttered.
Maddy picked up the discarded package. Sure enough, she’d mistakenly chosen the control-top pantyhose.
“They’re a nice fit,” Maddy assured her.
“You mean to say women can actually breathe wearing these?”
“All the time. Don’t worry, they stretch.”
Margaret sighed deeply. “Just promise to get me out of ’em if I start turning blue.” After removing her vest and shirt, she grabbed the dress. Instead of unzipping it, she pulled it on over her head and squirmed until she was able to right it. She was breathless once she’d finished.
“Next time,” Maddy suggested, “try unzipping it and then stepping into it.”
Margaret’s eyes narrowed. “Oh.”
On Maddy’s recommendation, Margaret had let her hair grow and it was just long enough for styling. Maddy had scheduled an appointment at Jean’s salon the day before the wedding.
“Well?” Margaret asked, slipping into the crocheted jacket, her elbows jerking. “What do you think?”
Maddy pressed her thumb and index finger to her chin as she looked her up and down. “Not bad,” she said. The transformation from jeans to dress was dramatic. But it still needed some adjustment. Margaret’s stance was all wrong—feet apart, hands on her hips as if squaring off against a foe. Her bushy eyebrows were a distraction, too.
“We’re going to have to pluck those eyebrows and then I’ll show you a few tricks with makeup.”
Margaret seemed worried. “Is any of this going to hurt?”
“No,” Maddy assured her. “Well, maybe a few twinges. You’ll survive. If it hurts, just think of Matt.” She didn’t dare voice her real opinion—that Margaret deserved a man better than Matt Eilers. Maddy prayed he wouldn’t end up breaking her heart. Frankly, she couldn’t see Bernard Clemens accepting Matt as a son-in-law, either.
“Is Jeb coming to the wedding?” Margaret asked.
She could always hope, but she was a realist, too. “I doubt it, but I don’t know for sure.”
For a few minutes after that, Margaret was very quiet.
“He drove to Grand Forks with me a couple of weeks back,” Maddy told her, clinging to the wonderful memory of that day with Jeb. When Dr. Leggatt had come in for the examination, Jeb had stood by her side and asked question after question. Maddy had watched his eyes when he first heard the baby’s heartbeat through the stethoscope, and she’d seen a smile of pride and joy overwhelm his features.
“He took a day away from his herd? Busiest part of the season, too.”
“I know.” Maddy hadn’t fully appreciated that at the time, but she did now. He phoned each week, at least once, to check up on her. He wasn’t much of a talker, especially on the phone. Nevertheless, Maddy was always pleased to hear from him.
“Do you think I’m being an idiot about Matt?” Margaret asked, sitting on the bed and leaning back on her arms.
Maddy hesitated. “I don’t know him well enough to say.”
“I do. Matt Eilers is a scoundrel, but I still love him.”
That shocked Maddy. “No one’s perfect,” she said, well aware that it was a weak response.
“Exactly,” Margaret agreed. “Then why is it everyone wants to talk me out of loving him? Everyone but you, that is.”
“I think people are afraid he’s going to hurt you.”
“Yes, but it’s my heart and I can give it to anyone I want, right? And I want Matt. Maddy, sometimes when I think about what it’d be like with him in bed, it’s all I can do not to shed my clothes right in front of him and prove I’m a woman.” She exhaled a deep sigh. “Do you know what it’s like to be that crazy about a man?”
This was where Margaret got her. The question nailed her flat. All she had to do was look down at her stomach.
Indeed, she knew all too well.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Sarah had attended her share of weddings—Rachel Fischer’s, Joanie and Brandon’s, the Sinclairs’. For reasons she didn’t want to explore, she couldn’t seem to sit through one and not cry. She always managed to do it discreetly—but not this time. Even before the music started during the ceremony for Buffalo Bob and Merrily, her eyes had filled with tears. It was embarrassing to sit there in the old Catholic church, weeping as though her heart would break. To make matters worse, Dennis was sitting directly across the aisle from her.
Which, by itself, was enough of a reason for her emotional state. They hadn’t talked in months. He’d gone out with Maddy a few times, but that seemed to be over. The last Sarah had heard, he was seeing a woman in Devils Lake, a single mother, apparently. Mostly she and Dennis avoided each other. Sarah’s plan was to approach him with the truth once her divorce was final. Admitting to the lie was difficult to start with, and when she did confess, she wanted to be able to tell him the matter had been dealt with. Nevertheless, it hurt to look at him, hurt even more not to look at him, especially since she loved him so much.
The music began, and Sarah stood as Buffalo Bob joined Father McGrath at the altar. Bob wore a dark gray suit; it was the first time Sarah had ever seen him not wearing leather. Tall and broad-shouldered, hair neatly trimmed, he looked downright handsome—which came as something of a surprise.
Turning, she watched Merrily walk down the center aisle, carrying a bouquet of prairie wildflowers. The wedding dress was gorgeous with a long, lace-edged train.
The tears started in earnest then, and Sarah continued to cry throughout the rest of the ceremony. At one point, her father passed her his handkerchief and patted her stiffly on the back. Calla shrank as far away from her as humanly possible, and for once Sarah didn’t blame her.
“You all right?” Joshua McKenna asked after Bob and Merrily had exchanged their vows. The congregation stood as the bride and groom walked past them. Bob and Merrily, hands clasped, lives joined, left the church. Axel, who’d been sitting with Maddy Washburn, raced toward them and Bob lifted the boy high in the air. His cries of delight could be heard above the music.
Hassie and Leta and a few others were already over at 3 OF A KIND, setting out food for the big buffet. Buffalo Bob had provided the baron of beef and various other dishes, but nearly everyone in the community had wanted to contribute something, too. The tables would be packed with salads, breads and homemade specialties shared at festive times. Sarah knew that Rachel had donated two large pans of her acclaimed lasagna. Heath Quantrill had bought a dozen bottles of champagne in Grand Forks, and Joanie had prepared mushroom and spinach hors d’oeuvres. Sarah could walk by the tables and recognize almost every dish and its maker. She herself had baked cranberry bread from her mother’s recipe and brought it over to Buffalo Bob’s the day before.
“You didn’t answer my question,” Joshua prodded as the church emptied.
Sarah forced herself to smile and nod. “I’m fine… really.”
“This is exactly the kind of wedding I always wanted for you,” her father murmured sadly.
“Grandpa, please,” Calla said in a sarcastic slur.
Sarah and her daughter hardly ever talked anymore; when they did, they just argued or exchanged insults.
“Don’t think I didn’t see you and Dennis giving each other the eye,” Joshua McKenna went on, undaunted. “I don’t know what’s wrong with you two, but fix it. You’re both miserable.”
“Dad…”
“Don’t ‘Dad’ me! It’s high time you listened to what I say.” He confronted Calla, as well. “You, too, young lady. I don’t like either of your attitudes.”
“I’m going home,” Calla said, breaking away from them.
“No, you’re not.” Joshua grabbed her arm. “You’re not sneaking out of this reception. You, neither, Sarah Jane. It’s disrespectful to the bride and groom. Besides, the entire community is celebrating and I won’t have the two of you moping at the house.”
“I’m not moping,” Calla insisted, glaring at her grandfather, “and I don’t want to be here. I want to go home.”
“You’ll do as I tell you, and that’s the last I’m going to say about it.”
Sarah didn’t know what was so important at home. Calla had been acting strange all month. Every afternoon she hurried to the post office and then sat rejectedly at the dinner table, without a civil word for anyone. Sarah supposed she’d written Willie recently and was waiting for a reply. She never seemed to learn or accept that her father couldn’t be counted on. Calla was setting herself up for disappointment. But she refused to listen to Sarah. Obviously, it was a lesson she had to learn on her own.
Calla’s attitude was affecting her whole life. According to Lindsay Sinclair, Calla’s grades were slipping badly. Sarah had gone in for a parent-teacher conference over the sudden drop in the quality of Calla’s schoolwork. Lindsay had asked Sarah if she knew why this was happening. All Sarah could think of was the break-up with Joe Lammermann—which, of course, Lindsay already knew—but deep down she suspected it was something more.
The prospect of spending her summer with a morose, ill-tempered teenager didn’t thrill her.
The reception and dinner were in full swing by the time the three of them arrived. The buffet line had already formed, and guests were beginning to eat their sumptuous meals. The wedding cake, all three beautifully decorated tiers of it, had been baked by Leta Betts and sat on a round lace-covered table at the far side of the room. A large stack of wedding gifts was piled beside it.
The high-school kids had volunteered to decorate the restaurant as a thank-you to Buffalo Bob for the use of his stereo system for the annual Sweetheart Dance. They’d done a really terrific job, Sarah thought. Streams of white crepe paper flowed from each corner and met in the center of the room, where a large paper wedding bell hung. She knew Calla hadn’t participated in the decorating, and Sarah felt disappointed and concerned that her daughter had so completely separated herself from her friends and family.
As soon as they entered the reception, Sarah’s eyes were automatically drawn to Dennis. He sat with Gage and Lindsay Sinclair. Maddy Washburn was at the same table with—Sarah had to look a second time. That couldn’t possibly be Margaret Clemens, could it? The rancher’s daughter had on a long dramatic dress and her hair was pulled away from her face with a few soft curls dangling about her forehead and temples. Margaret looked positively beautiful.
Sarah’s stomach contracted with anxiety. She probably wasn’t the only one noticing the changes in Margaret. Dennis must see it, too. Forcing herself to focus elsewhere, she tried to pretend she had places to go, people to see. Her father was mingling with his friends and Sarah headed toward the buffet line, looking for an escape.
Soon the music would start, and couples would take to the dance floor. Sarah didn’t know if she could bear to watch Dennis with another woman. All that kept them apart was a lie, the lie she’d been living for the past ten years. She’d thought that once she’d settled her divorce, she’d be able to tell him the truth. She’d been wrong to put it off; she knew that, had always known it, but her shame had led her to continue the deception.
As the festivities proceeded, Sarah exchanged greetings with dozens of people. Almost against her will, she’d become something of a celebrity in town. Her quilts were gaining a degree of fame. A specialty store, this one in Fargo, had asked to display them. Last month, a reporter had come from Grand Forks to interview her and a feature article had appeared in the Sunday edition of The Grand Forks Herald. She was a success story in a region in which there were few. Yet it meant nothing when she was constantly at odds with her daughter and separated from the one man she loved.
All at once it was too much for her. With the restaurant so crowded and the air stifling, she found she could bear it no longer. Making excuses as she progressed across the room, Sarah made for the door.
The tears were back, which was ridiculous. This should be a happy time in her life, dammit! Within a few weeks, if everything went as expected, she’d be a free woman. Her small quilting enterprise was prospering. Today was her friends’ wedding and a community celebration. The signs of love were all around her. Buffalo Bob and Merrily were married. Rachel Fischer had danced every dance with Heath Quantrill. It wouldn’t surprise her if those two announced their engagement soon. Even Jeb seemed happier than she could remember seeing him. Sarah had faith that the situation between him and Maddy would soon be resolved. But she no longer believed that would happen for her.
Needing to sit down, she walked over to Knight’s Pharmacy and sagged onto one of the park-style benches Hassie had installed. She didn’t know how long she sat there, facing the street, with no will to move. Then out of nowhere she heard Dennis murmur her name.
She went still.
Uninvited he sat down on the bench beside her. “You all right? I saw you step outside and I came to check.”
“Just fine,” she said, forcing a note of enthusiasm into her voice, praying she could fool him.
“Oh, Sarah,” Dennis said with an exaggerated sigh. “You never were much good at lying.”
Sarah shook the hair back from her face. “That just goes to prove you don’t really know me at all.”
He grew suddenly quiet, the way he always did when he was thinking. “Have you been lying to me about something?”
