For the students at Mary Todd, James Lane Allen, Russell Cave, and Tates Creek Elementary Schools in Lexington, Kentucky — even those who wear braces!

  — DD and MTJ

  Contents

  Title Page

  Dedication

  1. Power Surge

  2. Missing Teacher

  3. Mrs. Zork

  4. The Surprise of Their Lives

  5. UFO

  6. Makeup Crazy

  7. Green Cheese and Laser Guns

  8. Great Martians Alive

  9. Alien Invasion

  10. Drained

  11. “We Know Who You Are”

  12. Flu Season?

  Preview of Adventures of the Bailey School Kids #8: Genies Don’t Ride Bicycles

  Copyright

  1

  Power Surge

  Howie hung his purple bookbag in his third-grade classroom at Bailey Elementary School. “Did you study for the science test?” he asked his friend Eddie.

  Eddie scratched his curly red hair and dropped his bookbag on the floor. “Naw. Who needs science, anyway?”

  “I like science,” Howie told him. “Especially when it’s about outer space.”

  “You would. You have plenty of empty space between your ears.” Eddie laughed and headed for his seat.

  The other kids in the class were busy copying math problems from the board. School had not even started and Mrs. Jeepers, their teacher, already had everyone working!

  There was something strange about their third-grade teacher. Mrs. Jeepers was from the Transylvanian Alps and some kids thought she was a vampire. Her long hair was the color of a jack-o’-lantern, and a bat bracelet hung from her wrist. She always wore a huge green brooch and when she got mad, it glowed. Mrs. Jeepers had a way of flashing her green eyes that made kids think twice about causing trouble.

  Eddie slid into his seat and tore a piece of paper from his notebook. He was only halfway finished copying the math problems when Mrs. Jeepers spoke in her Transylvanian accent. “It is time to take the science test. Please clear off your desks.”

  Melody’s seat was beside Eddie. She twirled one of her black pigtails. “I hope I get a good grade. Don’t you?”

  Carey was behind Melody. “I studied all weekend. I’m sure I’ll get the highest grade.”

  Eddie shrugged. “Who cares?”

  Liza, a girl in front of Eddie, turned to look at him. “You did study, didn’t you? After all, this is a big test. I just hope my nose doesn’t start bleeding.” When Liza was really upset, her nose usually bled.

  “I’ll give you a bloody nose,” Eddie kidded, holding up his fist.

  Melody glared at Eddie and handed Liza a wad of tissues. “Leave Liza alone or I’ll give you a bloody nose!”

  Eddie didn’t have time to answer because Mrs. Jeepers put a paper on his desk. “There will be no talking,” she told the students. “You may begin.”

  Eddie looked at the first question. He swallowed hard and looked at the next question. He was searching the second page for something he could answer when he heard a noise.

  It sounded like someone was playing a low note on a tuba. The hum grew louder and louder until the windows rattled. Melody slapped her hands over her ears and Liza whimpered, “What is that?”

  Suddenly, all the lights flickered and then went out.

  2

  Missing Teacher

  Mrs. Jeepers’ eyes flashed at the ceiling. Then she touched her brooch. The green pin glowed mysteriously. The lights flickered again, and then stayed on. “You may continue with your test,” she said quietly, still looking at the ceiling.

  Eddie turned around to talk to Howie. “What’s going on?”

  Howie held his finger to his lips. “Shhh.”

  But it was too late. Mrs Jeepers walked up to Eddie and scooped up his paper. “Talking during tests is not permitted,” she said. “You must speak with Principal Davis.”

  Eddie’s face turned bright red. “But I wasn’t cheating.”

  Mrs. Jeepers touched her green brooch again and her eyes flashed. Melody gasped and Liza closed her eyes. Would Mrs. Jeepers do something terrible to him? Eddie didn’t wait to find out. He slid from his desk and stomped out of the room.

  The principal’s office was a wreck. The secretary was pushing buttons and yelling into the intercom system for the art teacher while a second-grade teacher was talking with Principal Davis. Twenty-eight second-graders wandered around the office, pulling stuff off the secretary’s desk and playing tag with each other.

  Eddie plopped into a chair to watch the excitement. A tall woman with long white hair sat next to him. She wore a white shirt with big silver buttons, black leggings, and black boots that came up above her knees. Her face was long and thin and whiter than chalk dust. She smiled at him, showing a mouth full of metal braces.

  “You’re too old to have braces,” Eddie blurted.

  The woman shrugged. “What makes you think I am old?”

  “You have white hair,” Eddie told her.

  The tall woman smiled again. “My hair may not be the delightful color of Jupiter like yours, but where I come from some people think I look young. And people are never too old to wear braces.” Then she looked at Principal Davis.

  “Are you waiting to see the principal?” Eddie asked her. “Because if you are, it might be a while. This place is a zoo.”

  The tall woman frowned and looked around the room. “There are no animals here,” she said.

  “I don’t mean a real zoo,” Eddie started to explain.

  “It does not matter,” the strange woman interrupted and pulled some papers out of her briefcase. “I will not have to wait much longer.”

  The second-grade teacher was still talking to Principal Davis.

  “But my students are supposed to have art now,” she was saying. “Where could the art teacher be?”

  Principal Davis shook his head. “Mr. Gibson’s car is in the parking lot and I saw him earlier this morning. He must be somewhere. First there was that electrical power surge, and now the art teacher is missing. If only there was a substitute teacher who could teach the art classes!”

  The lady winked at Eddie before she walked up to Principal Davis and handed him her papers. “Hello, my name is Mrs. Zork. I am looking for a teaching job.”

  Principal Davis’ mouth dropped open as he looked at Mrs. Zork’s papers. “Can you teach art?”

  “Art is my specialty,” she said. “As a matter of fact, where I come from, my pottery is displayed in the capital.”

  Principal Davis grinned and gestured to the kids running circles around his desk. ‘They’re all yours, Mrs. Zork.”

  As soon as the tall woman left with the children, Principal Davis looked at his secretary. “That was lucky.”

  Eddie watched the tall woman walk down the hall and whispered, “I think it’s creepy.”

  3

  Mrs. Zork

  When Eddie got back from the principal’s office, his class was lining up for art.

  “Did you get in trouble?” Howie asked softly.

  “Naw. Principal Davis was too busy chasing second-graders,” Eddie told him.

  “Those flickering lights were weird,” Howie whispered to Eddie. “Even Mrs. Jeepers thought so.”

  “Speaking of weird, you should see the new art teacher,” Eddie said.

  “New art teacher? What happened to Mr. Gibson?” Liza asked.

  Eddie shrugged. “No one knows. Not even Principal Davis.”

  “You’re lying,” Melody said. “Teachers don’t just disappear.”

  “They do at Bailey Elementary,” Eddie snapped.

  “What’s strange about this new art teacher?” Howie interrupted.

  “For one thing, she looks like she fell into a bag of flour,” Eddie told them. “Her face is so white I bet her blood has been sucked dry by Count Dracula.”

  “Maybe Mrs. Jeepers got her,” Melody giggled.

  “I think Eddie’s exaggerating,” Liza told her.

  “You’ll find out when you see her,” Eddie told his friends as they left their classroom.

  “I beg your pardon,” Mrs. Jeepers said when she opened the art room door. “I am looking for Mr. Gibson.”

  The tall woman smiled at the class. The kids stared at her white face and silver braces. “I am the substitute, Mrs. Zork.”

  Mrs. Jeepers flashed her eyes. “But I am certain I saw Mr. Gibson this morning. He did not say anything about leaving.”

  “Maybe he’s sick,” Liza blurted.

  Mrs. Zork spoke so softly they had to strain to hear. “Mr Gibson had to leave . . . unexpectedly.”

  Mrs. Jeepers nodded. “I am sure no one will give Mrs. Zork any trouble.” She looked straight at Eddie before she left.

  The kids sat down at the paint-stained tables. “I am pleased to visit your school,” Mrs. Zork told them. “I look forward to learning much from you.”

  “Don’t you mean that we’re going to learn from you?” Carey asked.

  “But, of course,” Mrs. Zork said softly. “We shall begin by having a pottery lesson.”

  “But what about the totem poles we were making?” Liza asked.

  “Totem poles?” Mrs. Zork asked. “I know nothing about totem poles. But I am quite the expert at throwing clay pots.”

  Eddie laughed. “I’m good at throwing stuff, too!”

  Mrs. Zork flashed her braces at Eddie. “Then you may be the first to demonstrate!” Before Eddie

could complain, Mrs. Zork grabbed his hand and plopped a big blob of clay in front of him.

  The clay was on a small table. Mrs. Zork pushed a button with her foot and the table began to whirl. Mrs. Zork held Eddie’s hands in the clay and together they began forming a pot.

  “That’s neat,” Liza said. “May I try?”

  “Certainly.” Mrs. Zork let go of Eddie’s hands. Eddie quickly slipped away from the table and Liza took his place.

  Liza pressed hard on the clay blob as the table whirled around. “I can’t get it right,” she complained.

  “Yours looks like a hamburger,” Carey said.

  “Looks more like a flying saucer to me,” Howie giggled.

  “Do you mean an interplanetary transportation system?” Mrs. Zork asked.

  Howie nodded. “I know all about spaceships. My dad works at the Federal Aeronautics Technology Station and he has all kinds of books about space.”

  Mrs. Zork’s braces seemed to glow when she smiled at Howie. “That is very interesting information.”

  “FATS is where all the space nerds work,” Eddie muttered, flicking little blobs of clay across the room.

  “This is messy,” Liza interrupted. Her hands were covered with slimy gray clay.

  Melody laughed. “That’s because you’re all thumbs!”

  Mrs. Zork’s braces sparkled as she grabbed Liza’s hands. “This child is not all thumbs,” she said softly. “Her hands are just as human hands should be.”

  All the kids laughed.

  “Quit laughing at me,” Liza stammered.

  “Don’t get upset,” Melody told her friend. “Your nose will start bleeding.” But it was too late. Liza pulled a tissue from her pocket to stop the bleeding.

  “What happened?” Mrs. Zork asked. “What’s that red stuff?”

  “My nose is bleeding,” Liza told her, and showed her the tissue.

  Mrs. Zork jumped back and looked at the blood-splattered table. “Oh my goodness! We must get you to the nurse right away.”

  The kids watched Mrs. Zork take Liza from the room. “She acted like she’d never seen blood before,” Howie whispered.

  “At least not red blood,” Melody said.

  ZING. A gray blob flew past Howie’s head and splatted against the concrete wall.

  “What was that?” Howie yelped.

  “I just made one of your famous flying saucers,” Eddie laughed. Then he snatched another glob of clay. “I can make more, too!”

  Howie grabbed the clay. “Give me that!”

  “This is our chance to have some fun,” Eddie said, taking a green paint can off the shelf. “Let’s spray paint the windows while Mrs. Zork is gone.” Eddie squirted a white blob of paint on the nearest window. “Hey! Somebody switched the labels. This is supposed to be green.”

  Howie grabbed the can from Eddie. “Quit that, you moron. This is our chance to find out what happened to Mr. Gibson.”

  “What do you think you’ll find?” Eddie laughed. “A tied-up art teacher in the filing cabinet?”

  “Of course not,” Melody interrupted. “But we might find a clue.” With that the three children started peeping in cupboards and boxes. The rest of the third-graders were busy making clay pots.

  Melody pointed to Mrs. Zork’s open briefcase. “Look at this!”

  “It’s just an old newspaper,” Eddie said.

  Melody nodded. “It’s a ten-year-old article about an alien spacecraft.”

  “Maybe she collects old newspapers to line her bird cage with,” Eddie said.

  “Then how do you explain this?” Howie asked as he pulled another paper from the briefcase.

  “Easy,” Eddie said. “It’s a map. You can line a bird cage with those, too.”

  “That’s not any map,” Melody said. “It’s a star map.”

  Howie nodded. “And somebody’s charted a course on it.”

  “Some kid was probably playing connect-the-dots with the stars,” Eddie laughed.

  “Maybe,” Howie said. “Or maybe somebody was making travel plans.”

  “That’s silly,” Melody giggled. “Nobody travels in space.”

  “Nobody,” Howie said slowly, “except aliens.”

  4

  The Surprise of Their Lives

  Right after art class, Mrs. Jeepers took the third-graders to recess.

  “Phe-ew,” Melody said when they walked out the door. “It smells like burnt rubber.”

  “If you’d take a bath once in a while, maybe it wouldn’t stink so bad,” Eddie laughed.

  “It smells just like my dad’s lab coat,” Howie said.

  “Then maybe he needs a bath, too,” Eddie said as he ran to the huge oak tree in the playground. His friends followed him to their usual meeting place.

  Eddie hung upside down from a branch and blew spit bubbles. “You’re strange, Eddie,” Melody told him.

  “What’s really strange is that art teacher,” Howie said.

  Eddie jumped down from the tree. “I could’ve sworn she had dull metal braces when I saw her in the office. But they looked really shiny in art class.”

  “Maybe she cleaned them,” Melody said.

  Howie shook his head. “But don’t you think it’s odd the way she came out of nowhere? And don’t forget Mr. Gibson’s disappearance!”

  “She’s just a crazy art teacher. Come on, I’ll show you,” Eddie bragged as he walked away.

  “Where are we going?” Liza squeaked.

  “We’re going to spy on her. And if you don’t come, that means you’re a chicken!” Eddie told them.

  The four kids sneaked around the building to the art room window. They had to stand on tiptoes to peek inside. Mrs. Zork stood in front of the classroom television. She was watching Melody’s favorite cartoon, Puddle Blasters.

  “I love this part,” Melody whispered. “This is where Puddle Man turns the desert into a huge flower garden.”

  “Look at all those pretty pink flowers,” Liza sighed.

  “Mrs. Zork likes them,” Howie said as Mrs. Zork reached out and touched the flowers. When she did, her long white hair started to move.

  “The static in the TV is making her hair stick straight up,” Eddie laughed. “She looks like the Bride of Frankenstein.”

  “Something’s wrong,” Liza interrupted. “The flowers are fading.” She was right. The bright cartoon petunias were soon black and white.

  “The TV must be broken,” Melody shrugged.

  “I’m not so sure,” Howie said slowly. But before they could say more, Mrs. Zork turned in their direction. A pink streak of light flashed from her braces.

  “Let’s get out of here!” Howie yelled. The four kids raced around the building. They were panting when they reached the oak tree.

  “Why did you run?” Eddie snapped.

  Howie faced his friends. “Didn’t you see how her braces turned pink?”

  Eddie shrugged. “It was just the sun shining on them.”

  “Then explain why the pink flowers in the cartoon faded.”

  His three friends laughed at Howie. “Because it’s an old TV,” Melody told him.

  Howie looked at his friends. Then he spoke very slowly. “That old newspaper article and star map reminded me of something I heard my dad talk about with the scientists from the Federal Aeronautics Technology Station.”

  Eddie laughed. “Those scientists at FATS spend all their time talking about aliens and flying saucers.”

  “Exactly,” Howie whispered. “I think Mrs. Zork is an alien.”

  His three friends laughed.

  “Aliens are little green men with antennas,” Eddie snickered.

  Melody nodded. “They don’t just land their flying saucers on the playground and decide to be art teachers!”

  “And they definitely don’t wear braces,” Liza giggled.

  Howie pointed his finger at his friends. “Remember when the lights went on and off this morning?”

  “What about it?” Eddie asked.

  “That was probably when she landed. This awful smell is from the spaceship’s fumes.”

  “Next you’ll tell us Carey is the Star Fleet Commander.” Melody giggled so hard she had to sit down on the ground.

  “You can laugh if you want,” Howie warned his friends. “But I think Bailey Elementary needs to watch out for Mrs. Zork.”

  5

  UFO

 

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