He arose from his throne slowly. He towered over me boasting a bare Herculean chest and shoulders to match from which hung a cloak of woven dried seaweed. He walked over to the mare stroking her nose and whispering to her softly. Then he chuckled and looked to me. "Enbarr tells me you rescued her from the clutches of some dastardly Merrows."

  "Yes your highness," I said. Then my eyes opened wide with realization. I heard him speaking ancient Gaelic but I could understand every word, and somehow when I spoke he seemed to understand me too. I wanted to ask Rob about it, but wouldn’t you know the little hob was nowhere to be found. In fact I hadn’t seen him since before the seal team surrounded us.

  Manann mac Lir fixed his turquoise eyes on me and commanded me, "Rise young lad. Tell me your name and what land you hail from."

  "Uh, my name’s Sean O'Farrell. I guess I hail from the Bay Area."

  "The Bay Area," he said slowly, testing the words. "An Irish man of the sea, like myself," he said, eyeing my orange hair with slight smile. "Only one of noble heart would be able to ride Enbarr. What brings you to my courts Sean O'Farrell of the Bay Area?"

  I gulped, and took a deep breath. "I am on a quest to kill a beast, Your Highness. The only weapon that can stop this beast is Fragarach, The Retaliator."

  The king laughed, scoffing at me. "And what? You seek to request my sword?"

  "Yes."

  The laughter faded from his eyes. "You would take the symbol of my right to rule? What need of it have you?"

  "I seek to destroy the stallion of death. The Kelpie."

  Manan mac Lir snorted as he stroked the water mane of Enbarr. "I care not for the pathetic quests of mortal men. Nor do I care for whether the Kelpie lives or dies. You think you are the only one with troubles, lad? Who do you think is responsible to ferry the bodies of the drowned dead? Me! Who has had to fight the Fomorian chum, Balor, for the theft of those dead bodies? Me! Not to mention Tethra trying to expand his corrupt kingdom, Mag Mell. I’ve got my shells full, besides a kingdom to protect and rule! Were it not for me, all of Tir fo Thuinn would fall to Chaos."

  I decided to try a new tactic. "The Morrigan told me I could find the sword here. She sent me."

  The king's shoulders grew bulged and his neck veins popping out. Note to self, apparently name-dropping the Morrigan was not a good idea.

  "That meddling crow," he said spitting. "Always sticking her beak in the middle of things, muddling them. Making misuse of her immortality for morbid gains." He said her name again like a curse "The Morrigan. Phaaa!"

  I switched to begging. Begging was always good. "Please your highness. I meant no disrespect. I—"

  But the king cut me off. "Where do you hail from again? The Bay Area? Where's that?"

  "It's in California."

  "California. Phaaa!" He spat. "North or South?"

  "Kinda in the middle really. North I guess."

  "Norcal. Phaaaa!" He spat. "I've changed my mind about you Sean O'Farrell. Despite what Enbarr tells me, I don't care for you. Guards," he motioned for them to move forward. "Execute him."

  Trident points closed in on me like needles in a pincushion.

  "Wait!" I yelled. "I'll tell you the truth your Majesty. A little over two years ago the Kelpie drowned and murdered my sister. I have traveled across space and time to get the sword from you. Please let me avenge the death of my sister," I pleaded.

  With deliberate steps the king returned to his throne. He poised his hands together in front of his mustache. "That is a much better reason to ask for The Retaliator. Still, I care not for the revenge quests of mortals. But, I will spare your life."

  I sighed a breath of relief.

  "Strip him of his weapons and throw him in the dungeon."

  Metal clinked as the armored guards obeyed their king.

  "Crap," I said. These people weren’t my enemies. But I wasn’t going to be locked up without a fight.

  18 Headache

  THE SELKIE WARRIORS rushed me as soon as they saw me reach for my sword. What they didn’t know was that I also drew on my Luck magic too.

  I’d completely forgotten that each time on the Otherside, my power grew. With no way to measure it, I’d say it grew at least twofold, even without an Oak leaf.

  The warriors rushed in, tridents leading the way. Before my sword was even drawn they were already close enough to kabob me. Years of martial arts training kicked in instinctively and I spun backwards, kicking my leg out low for a wind up. Then I dipped my head low and executed a perfect butterfly twist, spinning parallel to the ground through the air like Darth Maul. My Luck magic coursed within me extending out, not just to my hands like usual, but completely around me. Emerald Celtic knots laced their way around my body in intricate knots. With my magic engaged, I twisted through four incoming tridents that clashed together right where I had been.

  I twisted one full rotation, then another two before landing perfectly on the ground outside the circle of warriors.

  For a moment they were all caught off guard while they processed just how fast and efficient I’d reacted. They’d probably never seen a mortal human do that before. Also I’d just revealed my magic. While they were stunned I spoke up, resting my hand on my hilt. "I don’t want to fight you so just back off and let me go in peace." I spoke to the guards, but also to Manann as well.

  The guards hesitated for a moment, then Manann yelled, "Restrain him!"

  I guess he had his pride to maintain. I didn’t blame him. If he let me simply stroll out of his kingdom he’d look powerless to a mortal. The seconds the guards hesitated was enough for me to draw my sword. I wasn’t going to kill anyone, but I really didn’t want to be skewered either. As one, they sprang at me, obeying the command of their king.

  I willed my Luck out through my arms and into my blade. I still felt more power available to draw on, becoming more and more used to the sensation with each use. I leaned into the Luck, letting the power guide me. It coursed through my right hand until my hand radiated emerald light. I envisioned a circular disk of Celtic knots the size of a shield. Then I pushed my vision out through my glowing hand making the shield a reality. It appeared as a small quarter-sized circle on the back of my hand, then rapidly grew in size until it was about two feet in diameter and hovering just above my right forearm. "Dooooope," I said, excited.

  Then the Selkie warriors attacked me again, forcing me to put my new shield to the test. I deflected thrust after thrust of the tridents. Each time they collided with my Luck shield the emerald circle pulsed and flared, but held strong. This freed up my other arm to fend off attacks with my glowing sword. Not wanting to kill anyone, I launched well placed kicks to knees, groins, and faces until many of the warriors were grounded, groaning from my Luck empower attacks. Smirking and standing triumphant, I was in complete surprise when Manann grasped his woven cloak firmly, throwing it over himself and vanished.

  Before I could register what happened, he materialized before me. I raised my shield out of instinct. With one massive arm, his thews rippling, he backhanded my shield, shattering the magic with his closed fist. The force flung me back, but his other arm shot out faster than a flash flood, clasping my shirt, and wretched me back. The last thing I saw where his rage filled eyes as he head butted me into unconsciousness.

  WHO KNEW HOW LONG I sat in the underwater half of Manann’s palace, down in the dungeons? One hour? Several hours? Eight hours? The throbbing headache made it hard to concentrate.

  I tried to break free but the Selkie shape shifting guards wielding tridents made sure to put a quick end to that. Plus the cell was magic proof, like a dead zone without phone service. I had all but given up as I lay on my back in the cell. I didn't even want Manan mac Lir’s stupid sword anymore. I just wanted to get back home and take some Tylenol, some Ibuprofen, and watch Dwight try to take over The Office. Then I heard guards calling and scrambling down the hall leaving me all alone.

  "Hello?" I called out. No answer. Great. All alone in some stupid dungeon.

  Whistling and soft hoof beats echoed off the dungeon walls. I heard a familiar voice full of glee. "There he is. Hahahaha."

  A smile spread across my face. "Where have you been Rob? And how did you find me?"

  "I got scared of all the tridents. Plus I’m not on good terms with Manann, so I hid. Forgot to mention that earlier." Behind Rob emerged Enbarr, the majestic mare. "She led me right to you," said Rob.

  "Great," I said. "Can you bust me out?"

  "Got you covered boss," said Rob, dangling a ring of cell keys. "Just need to figure out which one of these it is."

  I sighed. There was a lot of keys to go through. But I didn't have anywhere else to go or anything else to do. Rob rambled on. "This place is amazing. They have Selkies here. Real Selkies!"

  "The key Rob. Find the key," I said, putting him back on task.

  Ecstatic, the Hob continued shuffling through keys, but forgetting to try any of them on the lock. "They say Manann’s got the silver apple branch, or maybe the whole tree, or access to it. I looked around for a grove, but no luck yet."

  "Rob."

  "...maybe some landscaped garden open to sunlight. Does a silver tree need sunlight?"

  "Rob."

  "...ran into Niamh of the Golden Hair, Manann’s daughter. Whew. Talk about beautiful. Smoking hot. I’d bet her hairstylist saves the hair and sells it. I would. It’s literally gold, for Dagda’s sake."

  "ROB!"

  He flinched, dropping the keys.

  "Focus pal," I said, raising my palms toward the cell bars.

  "Oh. Hahaha. Right." He picked up the keys, scowling. "I’ll have to start over."

  I face palmed, then regretted it instantly because of my headache. "Just get me out."

  After a while Rob finally figured out which key it was. My cell door opened with an audible click. I emerged from my cell ready to get the heck out of there. Rob handed me my confiscated belongings. I donned the cap, the Mossberg, and Jade.

  "Follow me," I said to them. I remembered the route the guards brought me. He tugged my arm. "She wants us to follow her."

  Duh. She knew her way around this place better than I did.

  We followed Enbarr through the palace clinging to dark navy blue shadows. Several times we had to duck into extravagant arched doorways to remain hidden from the guards, but Enbarr kept moving, not waiting for us, causing us to have to sprint to catch up. The further we went the more I had the feeling that Enbarr was leading us back to the heart of the palace and not out of it. I voiced my opinion to Rob.

  Rob chuckled. "Of course she's not leading us out of the palace. Why would she do that?"

  I grabbed Rob by the neck. "We need to get out of here. The longer we’re moseying around this palace, the more chances we have for Manan mac Lir to change his mind and execute me. Tell her if she could please get us out of here that would be super helpful."

  Rob smiled. "I don't have to tell her that. She understood you perfectly."

  Enbarr had stopped walking for a moment and then resumed direction we were already heading.

  "So if she can understand me why is she still heading the same direction?"

  "She wants to help you get it first."

  "Get what first?"

  He clasped his hands together grinning from ear to ear. "She's going to help you get... Oh we’re here."

  19 Fragarach

  WE STOOD IN FRONT OF a dimly lit doorway which led down a set of stone worn steps.

  "What's down there?" I asked.

  Rob didn't answer me and Enbarr nuzzled my arm with her nose and then gently pushed me down the steps. As I descended a burning sensation welled up in my chest as I drew near to a source of power. Only when I got to the last few steps that I saw what was giving off the power.

  The room was dimly lit by glowing stones all around the perimeter and in the center was a stone dais inlaid with precious gems. In the center of the dais was an erect round stone with a sword planted in the middle of it.

  It was a sword unlike any I had ever seen before. It was clear as a crystal and shimmered like gentle waves of water. It was a blade that was only fitting for a king of the sea. Without realizing quite how I got there, I found myself standing on the dais with my hand outstretched towards the hilt of the sword. I hesitated only for a moment and then grabbed the watery hilt.

  Much like the horse Enbarr herself, the hilt felt solid under my grasp despite rippling like water. I expected it to be impossible to remove from the stone, but it came out quite easily with a metallic ring.

  "Wow," I whispered. Goosebumps laced my arms "Fragarach." Then I couldn't help myself, I had to give it a few test swings. The sword was perfectly balanced and cut through the air fluidly. But more than that, it was brimming with a magical aura, a power that I could feel, ready to course through me if I so willed it.

  "I just wish it came in a katana shape," I said. While it remained a translucent crystal-like sword, the blade began to glow orange under my grasp. "Sweeeeeeet." Then I noticed a sheath had appeared on the dais next to the centerpiece. I picked it up and sheathed the sword, positioned it next to Jade, and ascended back up the stairs.

  That's when I heard conch shell horns blaring throughout the castle, and the sound of guards and armed forces running to do battle.

  "Okay," I said to Rob, "now it's really time to go. Where did Enbarr go?"

  "She dipped as soon as you descended down the stairs. Oh, and I almost forgot. She said that we can escape via Manan mac Lir's boat, Scuabtuinne, the wave sweeper. It’s self-guiding." He raised his eyebrows over and over.

  "Lead the way."

  Rob found a stairway leading up.

  A booming bellowing voice behind us let out a shout that made the walls shutter. "Where is my sword?"

  "Awe snap," I shuddered.

  UP THE SPIRAL STAIRCASE we clambered, going around so many times I was growing dizzy and breathless. I tsked. "So we're just gonna steal his sword and his boat? How many mythical Celtic figures am I going to piss off?"

  Rob began counting off on his fingers. “Well you killed the Banshee. So you don't have to worry about her. Nehemiah has the Dullahan's spinal whip, so technically you don't have to worry about the headless rider. But Donn the lord of the dead definitely—"

  "I know the answer to that already! It’s a rhetorical question."

  We ran through more passageways and more corridors. Some doors were locked and we had to double back on multiple occasions. We climbed higher and higher up the palace until finally we came to a room with sunroof windows. Through the windows I could see that we were still underwater but the surface of the sea was not far off. A large set of wooden double doors lay in front of me and it took Rob and myself to pull it open. On the other side of the door was a docking bay for Mannan mac Lir's ships. "Okay," I said, "Which one is it?"

  "Umm," said Rob, "That one!" He pointed to a smaller boat without sails, mast, oars, or engine.

  "You better be right," I said.

  In that moment a band of guards jogged into the hall we were in. "There he is! He’s stolen Fragarach."

  I yelled incoherently. The two of us ran for the boat. We jumped inside, but the boat didn't take off.

  "This is just a normal boat," I yelled at Rob.

  He shook his head frantically. "This is the right one I'm sure of it. You probably have to tell it what to do."

  The footfalls of the guards were getting closer, their heavy steps matching my heartbeat. "Boat, take us back to Benicia," I said, in a doubtful voice. Then I added sternly. "Of the Bay Area."

  Miraculously the boat moved, slow at first, as if unsure of itself, then quicker with each second. It lurched forward and Rob and I fell on our backs. Laughing I looked behind us and felt the urge to stick my tongue out the guards, but I forgot that they were Selkies. They shifted into man sized seals and shot through the water like torpedoes.

  "Faster, faster," I commanded the boat. It obeyed and shot forward. We were still inside the palace dock, but the boat was directing itself towards the exit. As we approached the massive opening I realized with a sick stomach that we would be passing through a magical wall of ocean. With both hands I grabbed my cohuleen druith and made sure it was on firmly, then closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Passing through the wall of water, I felt coldness and wetness rush over me, but because of the magic hooded cap I could still breathe fine.

  Below me sprawled the palace, seashell shaped spires rose in every direction and in the front of the palace, the direction we were headed, the King’s Selkie warriors gathered into ranks along the seafloor, facing off against a gathering of giant behemoths lumbering through the water.

  "Fomorians!" bubbled salmon-Rob.

  Up until this point I had only ever seen one Fomorian, Balor. He was a hideous titan with burgundy skin, ivory hair, and one eye socket. Apparently his eye was missing.

  These Fomorians were much the same, all hideous to varying degrees. Some had tusks and two eyes, others had one eye or no eyes. Some had white hair or were balding. Some had gray hair. All of them had shades of burgundy skin, from bright reddish to dark brownish. But the thing that unified all of them were there tree trunk sized limbs, and massive hands the width of truck beds. They seemed to move through the water effortlessly as if there was no friction or resistance from the waves.

  "Tethra’s cattle. Steer clear." Rob made a chomping motion.

  A small number of the Fomorians held great megalodon packs at bay with chain leashes connecting the sharks to the Chaotic giants, like a rapid aquatic wolf pack chomping at the bit to be unleashed on Manann and his royal guard.

  At the head of the band of Selkie warriors I saw Manann mac Lir standing tall in a chariot drawn by Enbarr and another watery translucent horse. In his hand he held a long trident, because I of course held Fragarach the Retaliator.

  He led the charge against the Fomorians. The two sides clashed like a mosh pit at a death metal concert, except for with a lot more blood and mortality. Tridents stabbed, and titan fists pummeled. At his beckoning, a group of dolphins joined Manann mac Lir's small army in the foray.

 

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