BD8 & Beyond, page 18
A couple of months later I had a slight altercation in the Prince of Orange at Shelf after singing a tune on the Karaoke. These two clowns were talking the piss, so I threatened to ‘smarten’ them both up and then, after a few choice words with big Phil, the landlord, I was told I was barred. Across the road at the Shoulder of Mutton, not fifteen minutes later, the silly old pillock barred me for abusive language. I was with Russ at the time and I wasn’t loud, the bloke just had it in for me and was trying to look the part. A couple of days later and I was in the Queen Victoria at the far end of the village, sat having a few beers with Russ and a table full of women. There was a band on at the time and as I recall, they were quite droll. I asked the singer to spice it up a little and he basically told me to get fucked, just as I stood up and gave him a piece of my mind, the pub fell quite silent……….barred again!! I was running out of local ale houses to drink in and hadn’t actually knocked anyone over.
It was around that time when Gary Kilmartin passed away through cancer. He didn’t smoke, was reasonably fit, a good husband and dad and just a decent bloke really. The Lord works in mysterious ways and seems to take more good people away than bad.
In that year of 2004 and Sue and I filed for divorce. Sue was seeing a new fella and Russ moved in next door to me. He had broken up with Sue’s sister Margaret and was seeing Jayne. All change eh.
We went away to Old Trafford in February and got a 1-1 draw. The shit hit the fan inside the ground before half time, when a ‘Red’ jumped onto the dividing seating and headed for the Leeds boys. He was quickly battered and Leeds went into them…….quality. The stewards were helpless but the lawmen managed to get amongst the brawling fans and segregation was restored. It kicked off again in the second half but not for very long. The shit had well and truly hit the fan at Leeds United and the club was skint and in freefall. We went to Bolton with three games to go and got arsed 4-1, a result that confirmed our relegation from the Premiership.
I had another operation, preformed by the same consultant as the year before, Mr Shanker. From my accident in 1982, my left foot toes were ‘clawed’ and causing me some grief, so the toes were broken, the tendons altered and the toes ‘pinned’ and the foot and ankle cast in plaster.
On FA Cup Final day, I’d been down to the Brown Cow pub at Wyke with Roger, Hayton and a few other guys. We ran the 64 club, a sort of savings account for Cup Final day. Roger was and still is the main man running that and it makes for a top day out. Although I was on crutches, we’d had a good drink and a decent day but it didn’t end there. I ended up in the Duke William boozer at Shelf and met up with Coleen and even though she was some years younger than myself, we got on great and were soon seeing plenty of each other. Col was a breath of fresh air to me, we had lots in common and even with the big age gap, we were good together, although we did have our moments….. after a bit of a tiff one night, I came home to find well over a dozen flower tubs from my front garden, emptied from boot to bonnet on my car… a women’s wrath eh!!?? Shortly after, we had a top weekend away in Whitby and Robin Hood’s Bay and on the way back I drove through a flock of sparrows that were on the road without slowing up. Coleen was ‘to take away’, she reckoned I must have flattened a few of them and didn’t speak for the rest of the way home. Next day I told her that I had rang the RSPB and they’d confirmed that there were no fatalities!! Ha. I thought that was hilarious but when she found out I was taking the piss, it went down like a lead balloon.
I’d gone back to work with the cast still on and was keeping myself occupied with plenty of office work, although it was frowned upon by some of the management, who thought I should have stayed away. Sometimes, it’s easier to take the piss and milk the situation!! I had the pins pulled out of the toes, which was an ordeal in itself and a large screw was left in the big toe as a ‘stabiliser’.
My left knee was worn and eventually in need of a major op but I was having some grief with my right knee and my orthopaedic consultant, Mr Kluge said that it was imperative that a full right knee replacement was performed asap. My brother Pete, put up the 8 grand for the op and once again, I was hopping around on sticks!
Coleen had a new job and we split after the shine had gone from our relationship. I was soon seeing Karen, who I referred to as ‘Mrs Mad’. She wasn’t really mad, just did a few barmy things that got her the title! Karen had plenty of complications in her life at that time and was in the middle of a separation with her husband, ‘Swift Nick’, who had been in the scooter club with us. That made things somewhat difficult at times but we had some great times nonetheless.
CHAPTER 15
Once again, I was recovered and back working on shifts with the maintenance at Fields Packaging. I’d been pestering Lindsay for a while trying to get her to come out with me but to no avail. On Mothers Day, I managed to persuade her to have a drink with me and from there, we were soon in a relationship. Now Linds was nearly half my age and a friend of my daughter Lucy (albeit, a few years older) and I’d known her for years really and had seen her grow up from being a teenager into a full grown women. I hadn’t really seen her for a few years and now the age gap didn’t seem to matter, as we were two adults, with more in common than you could imagine really.
My brother Pete and his wife Sue were solicitors and between them had done well, they’d been on the TV programme, A Place in the Sun and had bought a villa, as a holiday home, on the edge of Barcelona. I had a week out there to get some sun and help them move in, brilliant.
Leeds had had a decent season and it was looking like we were heading straight back up to the Premiership. The play-off final was in Cardiff and we were to play Watford. I headed down to Cardiff on the coach from the ‘Branch’ with Chaz, Phil, Lindsay’s brother Richard and plenty of others. We had a quality day and a good drink, meeting up with Bob Benn and a few others in a pub in Cardiff centre. There was very little sign of the Cardiff City force that had threatened to turn out in numbers to have a set too with Leeds. In fact, there wasn’t a great deal of Watford fans about, compared to the vast number of ‘Whites’. The game was so one sided, it was unreal. Leeds just didn’t turn up and we got battered 3-0. We continued to have a good drink after the game and our coach was one of the last to leave the designated parking area…..another season in the Championship loomed.
My decree absolute eventually came through, so Sue and I said our ‘good bye’s’, we still see each other and get on fine, we had both moved on and both happy in new relationships, all for the best really.
At Fields Packaging, I was on shift with the lads and there was a problem on one of the large Lemanic presses. There was a kind of rumbling noise and the print kept slipping slightly. All the gaffers were there, myself, Matt, Mick Robbo and one or two others. I was holding the encoder unit trying to locate the ‘rumble’ when the damn thing caught the end of my finger. I pulled away quickly but the end of the finger had been crushed, ripping the nail out completely resulting with blood pouring out of the open wound and the end of the finger hanging on by threads of skin. Once the crowd of people had realised what had happened, blood was splattering onto the floor. Tony Shaw, did a runner at the sight of the claret and big Mark performed the first aid before I headed off to the Infirmary. It was the next day before I was sorted out by the ‘Micro-surgeon’, the finger was broken in three places and had to be drilled and pinned before the nail could be re-seated and then micro stitching done on each side.!!
Russ and I were spending a lot of time in the Duke William at Shelf but the pub had been taken over by two guys, Richard and Simon. They were partners in every sense! Now I’ve nothing really against gay people but these two were on a mission to try and change the world for the good of the Gay Rights! It would appear that, in their opinion, quite a lot of ‘straight’ people were bigoted minded fools and second class citizens compared to them. Even though all the people in the Duke William were making them a healthy living, they would be barring people on a daily basis!
I was having some beers in the Duke with Russ and Jayne one Friday night and apart from ourselves, there were only a hand full of people in the place. Big Jamie was behind the bar but had only been left a couple of C.D’s to play and after 3 hours, it was getting pretty tedious on the lugs! He found a Bon Jovi disc and decided to have a change. When the ‘couple’ arrived back, appearing slightly worse for wear, with their friends, I asked Richard where all the music was for behind the bar and he threw a right wobbler, shouting that myself and Russ thought we owned the village and that both he and Simon were in charge of the pub and could play what music they wanted! Well over the top really………..more than answered the question! He was jumping up and down, throwing a proper tantrum and shouting that it was his house and we had to get out! We were walking up the road when Jamie passed in his car and said that Richard had stated that he was going to give me a good hiding.
Next morning I was bashing on the pub door at 8a.m. There was no way that the guy didn’t hear me but he wisely didn’t come down to confront me. Apparently he told Ginger Lee later that he hadn’t heard me at the door. Even if you’re full of ‘lush’, you should back up what you spout out or do the manly thing and apologise for your actions, either way, stand and be counted.
That lunchtime, Linds and I went to Manchester with a group from Wyke to see Oasis in concert at Eastlands. A good performance and plenty of beers were had. A top band and some great tunes and lyrics and even though I’m not too taken with their choice of footie team, it’s better than the red choice!
This was a good year……..Linds and I headed up to the Highlands for a break and really got to know each other. Up passed the Lochs to Fort William then Inverness and back down to Edinburgh, stopping off at one or two other idyllic spots on the way. A fantastic week and our relationship was well on track. Shortly after that I had a weekend in Blackpool with a handful of guys from Fields and a couple of the women, Johnny ‘Red’ Frazer came along with Kinder and although Jamie ‘La La’ missed the train, he turned up a few hours later….fair play. We had a good old ‘do’ and “3 sheets to the wind” Austin, picked up a couple of broken ribs for being a cheeky pratt and locking us out of the ‘digs’. We had a slight altercation after a group of ‘jokers’ began to annoy the girls but it panned out ok. I know I’m not on my own when I say that the best bar to frequent for a Saturday afternoon booze up, is the Tower Lounge Bar in Blackpool. Chris almost came a cropper when a group of women became quite angry after he upset their autograph session with one of the Osmond Brothers !!…..good weekend and a day or two to recover!
My top mate Doug and I went to see the Stereophonics in Manchester and had a belting time. We stayed in the city centre at the Midland Hotel ………… and we almost missed the start of the concert, as we were in the ale house across the road from the hotel, knocking back a few pints. It was a bit of a seedy hole really, full of dodgy looking fuckers who all seemed to be eyeballing us. We arrived just before the ‘Phonics’ hit the stage and ended up in decent seats with a quality view. The performance was great and it turned out to be one of the best concerts I’d had the privilege of attending.
CHAPTER 16
My daughter Lucy had moved out and was on the property ladder, living with her fella, who incidentally, was ‘Old Bill’!! I’d been for beers with him on numerous occasions and he wasn’t a bad lad, or so it appeared. He’d lived under my roof for a while before they set up home and let’s just say, their relationship, could be quite volatile at times. They ended up living together for a year or so before the shit hit the fan and I had to have words before their break-up was finalised.
Linds moved in with me and we had break in the sun out in Tenneriffe. A quality holiday with plenty of sun, good food and reasonably priced drink. The footie was on in a sports bar on the Saturday afternoon and while Linds was still sunning herself by the pool, I went for a few beers and to catch up on the results. Unfortunately, there just happened to be a dozen or so Man U fans in the bar, giving it ‘large’ and as usual, lowering the tone! I had a few choice words with these ‘no-marks’ and probably because I was on my own, I didn’t get the shite knocked out of me! Lucky. On the Sunday, Linds and I were having a lunchtime tipple and there was the Rangers game on the screen in the bar. I was giving a little support and almost got slapped down by a group of Celtic geezers!!! Best clear off back to Blighty, I thought.!!!
There was an eventful day out when Leeds played away at Ipswich that year. All the lads had tasted a tipple or two before we arrived in Bury St Edmunds, where we had a good couple of hours or more to kill before heading off to Ipswich. Around twelve of us were in the “smallest pub in the world” and it was a tight squeeze! The ‘can’ was upstairs and the pool table was a miniature on the bar, approximately the size of a block of butter!! A good old time with no trouble, so it was off to the ground. We were close to kick off when we had a problem or two. Dave Barber was refused entry for being bollocksed and when I questioned the lawman, he said that I may as well stand with him as it was obvious we’d both had plenty. Alan Bale thought it was highly funny until he also was halted at the turnstile. We were told to get some food and drink and to smarten up our act. When we returned, ten minutes later, stuffing our faces with burgers, the game had already started and we were confronted by 3 rozzers and half a dozen stewards. One of the lawmen told me to “walk the line” and he would decide whether or not to let us in. I said, “You’re having a piss mate, I broke both knees and haven’t walked in a straight line for 20 years!!”. He apologised profusely and after a brief chat with his ‘gang’, we were allowed in. It was quite amusing really, we were escorted down the terraces by the ten or so ‘yellow coats’ to some seats and shortly after, we were almost thrown out for carrying on with some more clever mouthed stewards, Entertaining day to say the least and not a bad result, with us ending up getting a point from the 1-1 draw.
Blaggers was arranging the Stag weekend for Bucko and after coming up with half a dozen different destinations half way around the world, Berlin was to be the venue. Paul was to be the Best Man at Martins wedding so he sorted most of the details out and there was to be a dozen or so of us heading for Deutschland.
Myself, Russ, Bucko, Blaggers, Big Phil, Greeny, Robert, Jason, Raff, Alex, John Poole, Spellers and Andy Minot (a Leeds fan, who for some strange reason, seems to think he’s Welsh theses days!), flew from John Lennon airport to Berlin in the search of everything a good Stag Weekend should provide. A full days drinking with myself and Jason ending up in a bar, cut off from the rest and eventually staggering into a taxi at around 5am. I’d met Jason a few years earlier when I was doing a bit of work in Leeds, he was quite a decent ‘sparky’ and we’d worked alongside each other a few times. We were pretty smashed and walked straight into the glass hotel doors! These were supposedly automatic doors but as we found out later, they were apparently switched to manual on a night. I was rooming with Russ and after a few hours kipping, I was woken by, what I thought was a couple of noisy tractors but it was actually Russ’s snoring. Next morning in the square near the Television Tower, live bands were playing and we were knocking back the beers. Blaggers was, to everyone’s surprise, clearing tables all over the square, until we found out that there was money back on the glasses…..the cheeky pillock made a mint! Robert was forever on the ‘dog’ informing his wife of our every move, so I nicknamed him ‘Bubbles’, a name that has stuck with him, (another quality Elland Road man). He was soon enlightened that weekends away are pretty much a closed book on arrival back in old Britannia. We all know the drill, lap dancing bars, drinking all day and all night and of course, there’s always someone who shows a different side to themselves and gets their rocks off.
The Irish bar in the precinct near the hotel was the rendezvous point for our gang and next night, the guys headed a bit further a field by catching a train to the next station. Russ and I were last out and got on the wrong damn train…heading the wrong way! We were in touch on the phones and swapped trains at the next station, only to find out that after we’d left the platform, some lunatic had run riot with a big ‘shiv’ cutting twenty odd people!!!
The morning we departed was interesting, I’d set the alarm on the phone but hadn’t set a time change since we’d landed in Berlin! We were an hour adrift and the taxis were on their way to take us to the airport. Russ was crashing into everything in the room, shouting that his legs were still asleep as we rushed to meet the guys in the foyer. We almost left Greeny at the airport when we boarded the bus after landing but luckily the Bantam fan flagged us down. This was a great few days of drinking with a quality bunch of blokes and we finished off with a good drink back in Shelf.
I was putting in plenty of hours at Fields but was also managing to catch plenty of ‘play time’ as well. The Red Hot Chilli Peppers were playing at the Don Valley Stadium in Sheffield and myself and Lindsay went along with her cousin Sally and her husband Andy. A tremendous concert from a truly brilliant band, contributing to a great night out. The placed definitely rocked, I would have to say that this band edged out watching Oasis, albeit, not by much though.
Linds and I went to my brother Pete’s place near Barcelona for a week or so with them and my brother Bryan and his girlfriend Marie. Pete also took his twins and my mum. Fantastic week was had by all, Barcelona is one of my favourite citys, with eyecatching architecture and a very cosmopolitan culture. Pete and I even found time to use a day to peruse around the Nou Camp Stadium, an exhilarating experience.
