Beta Life, page 8
part #1 of Digital Sorcery Series
At this time, our beers and food arrived, and we began eating. The stew was excellent and tasted pretty much exactly like what I thought mutton stew would taste like. I really wish I knew how they made everything taste and smell just like they would in the real world. Of course, for all intents and purposes, this was now the real world for me.
"I thought as much," Eldertits said after taking a drink out of her beer. "You stand out too much. Tell me about your life before the game."
"Well," I said, "I was an old man just waiting to die. My wife died almost twenty years ago, and my kids are grown up and have families of their own. I didn't have much of a life for several years prior to this, and even though I'm unlikely to ever see my kids or grandkids again, I knew I wasn't ready to die, so here I am."
Eldertits stared at me for what felt like a couple of minutes before asking, "How old were you when you entered the game?"
"I was ninety-one, guess I still am, though I know I look very good for my age," I replied with a sheepish grin.
"Shit, I knew most of you would be old but ninety-one really puts it into perspective," Eldertits said more to herself than to me. "You've lived a lifetime before you got here, though you know less than nothing about this world and how it works."
"I know some things. I did go through the tutorial, you know," I said defensively.
"The tutorial teaches you the basics of the basics but not how to really live in this world," she said. "For example, we eat food and drink liquids in this world, but you will never have to shit or piss once. This beer and stew will just simply vanish once you consume it, and all of the NPCs will treat that as if it's perfectly natural, even though we both know that it isn't. On top of that, if you just stop eating or drinking for a long period of time, you won't die. You'll just get status debuffs that gradually get worse. My point is, the rules that govern this world are vastly different than the world you're used to, and you need to learn those differences."
"That's good information, but why is it so important that I learn these differences?" I asked trying to get to her point.
"It's important because normal players will not act like you do, because they log on, play the game for a few hours, and log off," She responded. "There have been several forum posts since the beta announcement about messing with the digitized once they get here, and while they aren't able to permanently kill you, they can cause you all sorts of pain and anguish."
"Trust me," she said leaning forward and lowering her voice here to a whisper. "I'm like you and dying in this game, while it's not permanent, is the most horrific and painful experience you're ever likely to have. If they kill you over and over, I don't know if your mind could survive that."
This was a lot of information to process all at once. Not only were there other normal players who dedicated themselves to causing all sorts of misery to the newly digitized, but Eldertits was also digitized like me.
"So wait, you're digitized too, and you purposely chose the name Eldertits to have for the rest of your life?" I asked knowing this was a rather insignificant point in the scheme of this conversation.
"Shhh, keep your voice down," she hissed at me. "You really don't want to announce to anyone that you are a digitized player, because if it gets out, you'll be in real trouble. I'm taking a big risk in trusting you with that secret, and yes, I chose the name Eldertits purposely because it's fucking hilarious. Get it? I'm an elf with some big ol' titties." She emphasized the end of this sentence by jiggling her titties back and forth.
"Oh, I get it. I'm just surprised you want to be known as Eldertits forever," I responded.
It was like haha funny, not rolling on the floor laughing funny, though. Guess it's a free world, and if that's what she wanted to be known as then she was free to make that decision.
"Please, call me Tits," she said with her usual mischievous look returning to her face.
"Okay, Tits," I said, though it sounded awkward to my ears. "What is your story then, since I shared mine?"
She looked at me long and hard, chugged a significant portion of her beer, and said, "I guess that's only fair. I'm a lot younger than you. Thirty-two to be exact. I had cancer, and my condition was deteriorating. I petitioned the Everlast Corporation after I heard about the program, and convinced them to allow me to partake in the beta. They really only planned it for those that are close to dying of old age. Now that I'm here and cancer-free, I plan on enjoying everything as much as possible."
"That's terrible. I'm so sorry Tits. You must have had a very difficult life," I responded looking at this woman in a new light.
"It was, but now I'm here, and life is good," She said and then narrowed her eyes. "If you ever mention this to anyone, I will cut your dick off and shove it down your throat."
"Your secret is safe with me," I responded quickly.
"Good, I'm gonna send you a friend request so we can always get in touch with each other," she said clearly accessing her menu.
You have received a friend request from Eldertits (Player). Friending this person will allow them to message you directly, see your level and status, and will show them your location on their map. Do you wish to accept?
Yes or No?
I accepted her request and another notification popped up.
Congratulations you are now friends with Eldertits (Player)! You have also unlocked the Friends section of your menu where you can message friends directly and see their current status. Messages with your friends will be stored in your mailbox under the Friends section.
I opened my menu and found the new Friends section, and sure enough, Eldertits was listed there with a portrait of her face next to her name.
Eldertits (Player)
Race: Elf
Class: Barbarian
Level: 7
Disposition: Friendly
Current Status: Online, Active
"This goes without saying but be careful friending normal people unless you absolutely trust them, because that current status will never go offline for us," Eldertits explained. "NPCs are generally safe though."
"Wait, you can friend NPCs?" I asked surprised.
"Of course," she responded. "Haven't you been interacting with them? They are basically people, just look at our lovely friend Elaria. She's like everyone's favorite southern aunt."
"Yeah, I mean they act real enough, but they aren't really real," I said.
"I don't know about that. I read up on this game and each NPC consists of a single unique AI that has a complete mind of its own with likes, dislikes, and various other emotional capabilities," she said. "Most of these NPCs are basically more human than most humans."
Wow. Had humanity really reached the point where we could create artificial intelligence that could think and act just like a human would? Did that make us obsolete now? The idea had been around since the invention of the computer, but throughout my entire lifespan, I had never seen anything come close to it in actuality. I remained skeptical but decided I would examine these NPCs in further detail later.
"Hey, since you're digitized too have you tried to contact the beta support or hello world?" I asked thinking about something that was bothering me.
"Yeah a few times and it says all messages have been blocked to those recipients," Eldertits replied sighing. "It's twenty seventy-eight and they can't even set up god damn email correctly, pathetic."
"Yeah that's what it tells me too," I replied. "I hope they get it fixed soon."
"Alright, well I'm exhausted," Eldertits said standing up before adding with a wink, "I'd invite you to join me, but all of this talk about the past has drained me."
"Thanks, Tits. I would have probably gotten myself in quite a predicament if you hadn't said anything," I said.
"We have to look out for one another, or we'll never make it in this world," she said before walking out the door.
The next morning, I got up early so I could get as much reading time in on the book as possible. I still had seventeen and a half hours to go. I only had two days left, and I knew it was likely Elaria was going to take up some of my time today to visit House Parthanuun.
I went back to the library to the language section and found the book exactly where it was the first time. Eldertits was right, it somehow magically went back to the place it belonged without having to be placed there by a person. The world of Alderoth was amazing.
Taking the book, I went back to the table and began reading again, but no sooner than I started, I heard a ding and saw a notification that I received a message in my mailbox. I opened up my mailbox and saw that Elaria had messaged both me and Eldertits.
Please meet me at 14:00 today at the entrance to House Parthanuun. I attached the map coordinates to this note.
See you then,
Elaria
Interesting, so you could send map locations via direct messages. It made sense. The mailbox was essentially like an email/instant messaging system, and on both of those back in the real world, you could do it so why not in the game?
Now that I knew that I had to be somewhere at two p.m., I had another problem to solve: how to read this book without losing track of time and completely missing my appointment. I'm sure Elaria would be pissed if I stood up a noble family. I wish this game had an alarm clock function built in.
No sooner than I thought this, my HUD seemed to click on the clock display in my upper right-hand corner which brought up a new menu that seemed to deal with time. I could change the clock's settings between military time and regular time. I could change the time zone between different time zones that I didn't understand. Currently, it was set to auto location which seemed good to me, so I left it. I could also set a stopwatch or timer which may come in handy at some point in the future, and there was an alarm function.
I quickly accessed the alarm function and set an alarm for one-thirty p.m. to hopefully leave myself plenty of time to follow the map coordinates and meet Elaria by two. Satisfied that I wouldn't be missing this important meeting, I opened the book back up and began to read again.
A loud buzzing in my head startled me out of my trance. I glanced at the up at the clock on my HUD and saw that it was now one-thirty. The alarm worked like a charm. I looked at the upper right-hand corner of the book and saw that I had eleven hours and nine minutes remaining. Not bad. I could easily finish that between later tonight and tomorrow.
Closing the book, I set it on the table and left the library following the map that Elaria sent me. House Parthanuun was a little bit of a walk from the library and in a wealthier section of the city, though honestly, all of Ithielthiel was incredibly nice as far as cities go. Part of me actually understood the elven arrogance when they created a city like this. Though, let's be honest, it had really been some human developers. If they ever found out, it would probably kill them all.
House Parthanuun, from the outside, was beautiful. It was built around a single large tree which had waterfalls pouring from the branches down into fountains and streams around the house. It had arches all around the house and like almost all elven architecture that I had seen, it seamlessly blended between the outdoor and indoor environments. The elves really took the concept of green living to a whole new level.
"A human who actually understands punctuality," Elaria, who was standing in front of the main arch, said as I approached. "You are a credit to your race."
"So, this is where the rich elves live while the rest of you poor elves are slumming it," I said with a smile.
"Yes, House Parthanuun is nobility, minor nobility, but still nobility. I expect you to be on your best behavior as a guest of our realm," Elaria said with a stare that told me if I wasn't on my best behavior she'd kill me.
"Yes Ma'am," I said before asking, "Is Eldertits coming?"
"That one," she said, "out of all our glorious achievements as a race, may be our one embarrassment. I will not be surprised if she decides to be late."
She was late when she strolled up five minutes later looking exceptionally pleased with herself. Elaria glared, but Tits either didn't seem to notice or ignored her. It was still weird to think that this woman, who was only thirty-two years old, had been digitized and would spend the rest of her life in this game just like me. Even though she was about a third of my age, she had a confidence and understanding of this world that would probably take me years to equal.
"Ryland, are you coming?" Elaria asked pulling me out of my thoughts.
"Yep, lead on," I responded falling in step behind the two of them as they walked under the main archway.
We were greeted after entering by a younger looking elf dressed in simple, but fine, clothes. He lead us into a sitting room that was filled with plant life and beautifully carved, or maybe grown, wooden furniture. Motioning for us to sit down, we were told that the master and lady of the house would be with us shortly, and then he disappeared out of the room.
Elaria and I sat down in two of the chairs, which were quite comfortable, while Eldertits walked over and began examining some of the plant life next to one of the arches leading outside.
"I present to you Haldir and Lady Fainauriel of House Parthanuun," the young elf announced before departing once more.
Two middle-aged elves, though they were probably much older since they were elves, glided into the room. These two were dressed elaborately in beautifully intricate robes. Haldir had long blonde hair and a stern, almost arrogant, face that matched his elven nobility perfectly. Fainauriel had a much softer face with auburn hair that was braided into a crown of sorts around her head while the rest fell loosely down her back.
The two of them took a seat across from us with Haldir addressing Elaria in a firm, masculine voice, "Thank you for coming. Is this the human who is going to be saving our son?"
"Yes, this is Ryland," Elaria said back to him, "and Eldertits over there will be assisting as well."
"I cannot believe that the best the council can do for our noble house is to send a human," Fainauriel spoke up with a dismissive wave of her hand.
An awkward silence followed before Elaria spoke up again carefully, "I would not presume to speak for the council, but I assure you that we will do everything to return your son safely to you. I can vouch for Ryland, and I assure you that as far as humans go, he is one of the better ones."
"He is still human!" Fainauriel responded angrily. "Is a human the most Turin is worth?"
Elaria hesitated and then seemed to find her spine, "He is your best hope. Both of us know that an elf has no hope of just waltzing into Maleuhur without repercussions. Whether or not you like it, you have to put your faith in Ryland."
I was taken aback by her strong defense of me. Elaria, for the most part, had always, like most elves, treated me with disdain, but now she was staunchly defending me to these people and assuring them I would rescue their son.
Fainauriel glared back at Elaria, as if attempting to make her turn to ice, before finally softening and saying, "You are right, what can we tell you that will be of assistance?"
"The most important thing would be a descrip..." Elaria started before trailing off.
I followed her gazed and saw Eldertits cross the room and sit down in Haldir's lap before wiggling back and forth. Elaria's mouth hung open, and she adopted an offended expression. Fainauriel looked like she was ready to commit murder, while Haldir looked uncomfortable, pleased, and nervous all at the same time as his gaze flicked back and forth between his wife and Eldertits.
"Daddy, could you tell me about your son?" Eldertits said in her most sultry voice.
"Oh, well, erm, Turin is my son," Haldir said as sweat started to creep down his forehead.
"Oh, I know that Daddy," Eldertits said wiggling again. "I mean, what does he look like? What distinctive features does he have?"
"Well, he's got brown eyes, skin the same complexion as mine, short auburn hair the same color as my wife's," Haldir said before trailing off as he met his wife's murderous glare.
I quickly covered my mouth with one of my hands to keep myself from laughing. I knew if I laughed it would probably be the last trigger for the lady of the house.
"Has he had any previous run-ins with dark elves before?" Elaria asked having regained her composure.
"None that we're aware of," Fainauriel said not bothering to take her eyes off her husband and Eldertits.
"What about his personality and class, Daddy?" Eldertits added and began sliding back and forth.
"He's, uh, always been a bit of a meek boy. I've tried to harden him a bit but to no avail," Haldir said trying to convey something wordlessly to his wife judging by his expression. "As for his class, he's a Paladin, so his light magic should have offered him some protections against the dark sorcery practiced by those black creatures."
"Ohh Daddy," Eldertits said with something of a moan and arched her back into his chest, "I can feel something poking me."
Haldir noticed that Fainauriel had started making the motions of a spell incantation and quickly pushed Eldertits off his lap and stood up. He had the most obvious erection under his robes, I had ever seen.
"If you'll excuse me, I have something I must be doing," he said before quickly leaving the room.
"You all will leave now," Fainauriel said in a growl. "And you," she added addressing Eldertits, "will never set foot in my home again, or I will personally send you for respawn."
With this, she left the room, and the young servant entered and ushered us out of the house. I really couldn't believe the sheer audacity of Tits. I mean, I know they are just NPCs, but still, there were lines that you weren't supposed to cross. Tits seemed to search for these lines and cross them with a single-minded determination.
The three of us walked silently from the house until we reached a sufficiently discrete distance.
Elaria then exploded at Tits, "What the hell was that!? Why can't you just act normally? You've offended a minor noble house, and I'm sure I'll be hearing about this from Daeron or even the council if they decide to submit a complaint."
