The Seafort Saga, page 60
“I made arrangements ahead of time, just in case.” The Admiral glowered with suspicion. “No telling what you’d do. Lieutenant Affad brought Hasselbrad over while I’ve kept you busy. I’m giving him Portia. You’re relieved, Seafort.”
I sank into the chair, dazed, weary. I recollected my duty. “If there’s anything I can do to help, sir ...”
“Stay out of the way, damn you! You’ve caused enough trouble.”
“Aye aye, sir. I’ll take my gear to the dayroom.”
“That won’t be necessary.” He fixed me with a cold stare. “In the morning you’ll move to Challenger.”
“What?” I was out of my chair.
“You heard me. Or you can go with us, under arrest for mutiny. It’s immaterial to me.”
I stammered, “Wha—what do you expect me to do on Challenger?”
“Wait for the help we’ll send. That’s all you can do.”
I struggled to get my bearings. “What about the rest of the fleet, sir? Where are they?”
“I don’t know.” His manner was testy. “They’ve probably come and gone. We just got here yesterday, and we were attacked almost immediately.”
That made no sense. “How could you take so long? You were the first to leave the last rendezvous!”
Tremaine slammed his fist on the table. “No more insolence!” he thundered. “Or I’ll take you to the barrel and cane you in front of the ship’s company!”
My mind whirled. I didn’t understand what was happening, much less why. “I’ll obey orders, sir,” I said doggedly. “But I need them explained. How could you leave first and arrive last?”
“We were attacked at the last checkpoint.” He seemed to begrudge me an explanation. “Remember?”
“Of course, sir.”
Tremaine looked at the bunk as he spoke. “We were under direct attack and in peril. I had us Fuse.”
I still didn’t follow. “Then you should have arrived well ahead of the squadron, sir.”
“We hadn’t changed coordinates yet,” he said offhandedly, to the bunk. “Anyway, it doesn’t matter how it—”
“You Fused without new coordinates?” My tone was unbelieving. “Using the same coordinates you were previously set to?” Even I knew better than that. The Fusion point had to be at least two light-minutes distant or bizarre results could occur. The maneuver was flatly prohibited by regs.
“It was an emergency,” he growled. “I had no choice.”
None but to stay and fight, that is. I said nothing.
“When we Defused we were, er, some distance from the rendezvous. By the time we recalculated and Fused here, the rest of the squadron must have passed through. While we waited one of your damned beasts appeared and lobbed acid at our drive shaft. We fired on it, but it scuttled away and disappeared.”
A venomous glare. “If that satisfies your curiosity, I have work to do. You’ll remain here until I’m ready to set you aboard Challenger.” He moved to the hatch.
“Sir, if the rest of the squadron has passed, Portia will be the only ship that knows Challenger is adrift here. If anything happens to you, we’ll never be found.”
“That chance has to be taken.” He shrugged. “It’s getting late; I have work to do.”
“Who will you leave on Challenger, sir?”
“Some passengers. A few of your crew. They won’t be told she’s disabled until they’ve boarded.”
Lying to the crew? Lord God, how could I face them, after?
He stood, and I thrust the thought aside for another. “How will you select them, sir?”
“A difficult choice, but someone has to make it. It’s none of your concern. If you wish, you may take your officers with you.” His tone was magnanimous. “Except for the Doctor.” With that, he was gone.
Slowly I let myself down into my seat. Challenger, the ship I’d yearned to command, the vessel whose blueprints I’d pored over in Lunapolis, was suddenly mine again, now that she lay disabled and drifting. Did Tremaine fathom the irony?
Why couldn’t she have been mine while she was whole? I’d fought the fish before; perhaps I could have saved her.
Lord God, You move in mysterious ways.
I sighed. If Challenger’s hydroponics were disabled, how long could she survive, nineteen light-years interstellar, and with nothing but her thrusters for propulsion?
Even if Portia reached safety in Hope Nation, a rescue vessel would have to be dispatched and return all the way to our present location. We’d be on our own for almost two years before help could arrive.
Well, all that was beside the point. The chances of a rescue ship finding us were minimal. Ships had passed near the wreckage of Celestina for decades before spotting her, adrift in the void. Even now, ships stopping to pay their respects sometimes failed to find her, though her position had been known and recorded for over a hundred years.
We might drift a lifetime, amid blind and unresponsive stars.
I could refuse the transfer; court-martial held no terrors for me. Tremaine would most likely have me hanged, and my misery would be over that much sooner.
I stared bleakly at the grim bulkheads. What right had I to choose easy death by the rope? I was sworn to my duty. Someone had to look after the poor souls left on Challenger. If not me, Tremaine would assign another who prized life more than I.
I don’t know how many hours I sat, numbed with despair. After a time I roused myself and began mechanically to pack my gear, stuffing clothing into my duffel. When I came across the holos Amanda had made of our vacation in the Venturas on Hope Nation, I cried for a while, then thrust them into the duffel and went on with packing.
I was folding the last of my shirts when a soft knock came on the hatch. I ignored it. It sounded again. “Who is it?”
By way of answer the hatch opened; Vax Holser slipped in, grim-faced. He pressed the hatch closed behind him.
“What do you want?” I went on with my chores.
His fists knotted. “Tremaine told us. He swore us to secrecy, then told us.”
“Very well.”
“We’ve agreed, Alexi and Derek and I. We’re going to relieve him.”
A chill ran down my spine. I finished folding the shirt and placed it in the duffel. “Stand at attention, Lieutenant,” I said quietly.
“Sir, this is no time—”
“Obey my orders, Mr. Holser. I’m your superior officer.” Reluctantly Vax came to attention. “Now.” I circled him. “You will retract that statement. You will give me your oath you will take no part in any such scheme, and then you will leave the cabin.”
He said simply, “I will not.”
I faced him, eye to eye. “Recite your oath of allegiance, Mr. Holser.”
“I know it well enough, Capt—”
I spoke softly. “Do as I command.”
He squared his shoulders. “I, Vax Stanley Holser, do swear upon my immortal soul to preserve and protect the Charter of the General Assembly of the United Nations, to give loyalty and obedience for the term of my enlistment to the Naval Service of the United Nations and to obey all its lawful orders and regulations, so help me Lord God Almighty.” Eyes front, he stood stiff.
“What is an oath, Lieutenant?”
“Sir, I know what you’re trying to tell—”
I put my hand over his mouth so he couldn’t speak. “What is an oath, Lieutenant?” I removed my hand.
He bit his lip, shaking his head in negation. Then he sighed, and the words tumbled out of him, directly from the Naval Regulations and Code of Conduct, Revision of 2087. “ ‘An oath is a commitment of the soul, given directly to Lord God Almighty and to the person by whose requirement the oath is given, that the commitment subscribed to will be fulfilled. It is the bond of a gentleman and an officer. Beyond an oath, no surety need or may be asked of any officer.’ ”
My tone was harsh. “Admiral Tremaine is your commander. You have sworn on your soul to give him loyalty and obedience and to obey all lawful orders. Do so, Vax. That’s my order as well.”
He shook his head stubbornly. “Not that order. He has no right to give it.”
“Oh?” I asked curiously. “In what way is it unlawful?”
“He’s condemning you to—to—”
“Death, perhaps. As I have condemned others. What makes it unlawful?”
He gaped. “But—” Slowly his jaw closed. He crashed his fist on the table. “He can’t be allowed to get away with it!”
“He must be allowed to get away with it, if our service has any value.”
“Not if he’s insane!”
“I don’t think he’s insane, Vax. Badly frightened, perhaps. But not insane.”
“I can judge for myself!”
“Not dishonestly!” Then I added, “Vax, have I meant anything to you? Have I taught you anything?” His eyes glistened. “Don’t betray me, Vax,” I said. “Live as I would have you live. Don’t do otherwise in my name.”
Defiance. Then, slowly, his shoulders slumped. “He said we were free to join you,” he whispered. “I’m going.”
“No, you’re not.” I was firm. “I refuse your service.”
He roared, “You what?”
“You’re not going to Challenger. You’ll stay here, and so will the others.”
“No.” The word hung like a rock.
I was desperate. “Vax Stanley Holser, listen to what I say. You will stay with Portia. Acknowledge that order and carry it out, or I swear by Lord God Almighty I will execute you for treason myself!” I held my breath, my very soul in the balance.
Slowly he sagged. His breath came out in a long, tired sigh. He turned for the hatch. “Orders acknowledged, Captain Seafort.” He opened the hatch. “I understand what you’ve done. Do you?” And he was gone.
I slumped weakly in the chair. I had put both of us in mortal peril. Had Vax disobeyed me I’d have been forced to carry out my oath or see my soul forfeit. I felt my knees trembling.
Hours passed; it was early morning. My duffel packed, I sat at the gleaming bare table amidst the shambles of my career and my life.
At last, another knock. Time to go, then. “Enter.” It emerged as a croak and I had to repeat it. As I reached for my duffel, Derek Carr strode in, glaring. “I’m going with you, sir.”
“You are not.”
“I’ve volunteered. I told Captain Hasselbrad.”
I leaned forward in my chair. “A Captain may choose his officers, within reason. I don’t accept you.”
“Why not?”
I said as cruelly as I could, “You’re a middy. You have no useful skills. If I needed anybody I’d take Vax.”
“That’s a bucket of goofjuice and you know it!”
“Watch your mouth, Mr. Carr!”
Ignoring my rebuke he came close, and loomed over my chair. “I don’t believe that crap any more than you do. I know why you won’t take me; skills have nothing to do with it. It’s my life, and I’m capable of making the decision!”
“No. You stay, and that’s final.” I wondered how much more I could take. “That’s all, Derek. Good-bye.”
He stared past me to the bulkhead. Then he nodded once, as if to himself. “All right.” He turned to go.
“Don’t you salute an officer, Midshipman?” I asked. My voice was gray and tired.
From above he contemplated me, hands on hips. “I’m not sure you deserve it.”
My mouth twisted in a grim smile. “Then you and the Admiral are of the same mind.”
A bellow of rage. “Stand up and say that!” White-faced, he stood ready, fists clenched.
“Easy, Derek.”
“Bastard!”
That stung me, and I rose to face him.
He cried, “I trusted you! You told me the Navy had integrity, and I believed you! You told me the system had worth, and I followed you! I put my life in your hands, and you toss it on the deck like garbage! May God damn you for that!”
“He probably will, and for other sins as well. The Navy does have integrity, Derek. This is how the system works. I accept that.”
“You know right from wrong. Stand up and fight him!”
“I obey lawful orders, Derek, as I’ve sworn to do. I remind you of your own oath.”
“He’s killing you!”
“Not necessarily. He’ll send help, when you reach port.” I wondered how much Derek knew. If the rescue ship was unable to find us, or Portia failed to get through, we were consigned to slow death.
“If it’s not so dangerous, you have no reason to refuse me.
I was glad he knew why I wouldn’t let him transfer, though I couldn’t show it. “It’s not your choice, Midshipman Carr, it’s mine. We’re friends, and we’ve been through a lot together, so I’m making allowances for that. Now I want—I need you to pull yourself together and carry on as I’ve trained you. Do you understand me?”
“I understand.” His glare showed no softening.
My voice was low. “You’re making this hard for me, Derek.”
“Yes, I suppose I am.” Then he capitulated. “But Lord God, I’ll miss you!” He came very close. In utter disregard of regulations he rested his hand on my shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze. “Godspeed, Captain Seafort.”
“Godspeed, Derek Carr.” Briefly I touched his hand. He came to attention, saluted smartly, and wheeled. In a moment I was alone once more.
After a while I realized it was morning and I had slept not at all. I blinked, trying to stay awake.
Some time afterward a rating came to fetch me. Passive, I let him carry my duffel to the lock. Armed sentries were posted at the corridor hatches. In the small group of officers waiting at the lock was Captain Hasselbrad. I saluted.
“You’ll carry a copy of Portia’s Log with you.” He handed me the chipcase. I pocketed it. “I’ve ordered a portion of Portia’s reserve propellant transferred to Challenger. All we can spare.”
“Thank you, sir.” I was surprised the Admiral had allowed it.
As if reading my mind, he said grimly, “He can’t very well relieve me too.” He gestured to Alexi Tamarov, standing nearby. “Your lieutenant asked to speak with you.”
“Very well.” I stepped aside to make what privacy was possible.
“I’m sorry, sir,” whispered Alexi, eyes downcast. “I couldn’t do it. I should volunteer, but I—just can’t!”
“Oh, Alexi, of course not!” His shame pierced me like a dagger. “No, you did the right thing. I wouldn’t have let you aboard, be sure of that.”
“But you’re going.”
“Two months ago I’d have fought it. Now, it doesn’t matter.” His glance met mine, and our pain merged. I clapped his shoulder. “You’re a good man, Alexi. I think well of you.”
He attempted a smile. “Thank you, sir. I’ll—I’ll see you in port.”
“Yes. Of course.” I turned back to the waiting Captain.
“The Admiral asked me to convey his orders. He won’t see you himself.” Hasselbrad’s expression spoke silent volumes.
“I understand.” My voice was dull. None of it mattered.
“You’re to make your way toward Earth, in case we fail to reach Hope Nation to send a rescue party. In any event, home system is far closer than proceeding toward Hope. Put out radio beacons. The search and rescue ship we send will take your movement into account. Take what evasive action you’re capable of, should you meet the enemy.”
“Aye aye, sir.”
He looked at the deck. “The Admiral ordered four of Challenger’s laser units transferred to Portia,” he muttered. “Ordered the Engineer directly, without going through me.” His eyes were bleak. “I’m sorry, Seafort.”
“Yes, sir.” Without Fusion we couldn’t escape an attack anyway; extra lasers would just prolong our agony. “What officers and crew will I have?”
“Very few crew, I’m afraid. He’s made the selections himself.” His face was impassive. “I understand you refused to let your officers accompany you. We’ve transferred our own staff to Portia, except for the Chief Engineer.”
I took my duffel from the seaman. Captain Hasselbrad added, “We’ve been ferrying Challenger’s passengers by launch to the forward lock here. Two more trips, and we’re done. Then we’ll Fuse. Anything special I should know about?”
I could think of nothing. I shook my head. Then, “Do you play chess?”
“Not very well.”
“The puter likes to play. His name is Danny. He doesn’t mean any harm, even if he’s a little ill-mannered.”
Captain Hasselbrad smiled reluctantly. “It’s just a machine, Seafort. Don’t get emotionally involved. Ours calls itself Kerren. Very polite, but I normally turn off the conversational overlays.”
There was nothing more to say. I saluted and stepped into the lock. As the hatch slid shut he said quickly, “It wasn’t my doing.”
I nodded.
Portia’s gig carried me across.
10
BEHIND ME, THE GIG broke free of the outer airlock suckers and spurted propellant for its return to Portia. I stepped through the open inner lock onto Challenger. The airlock corridor was deserted except for two sentries who came briefly to attention as I desuited. Their side arms were ready to fire, safeties released.
“What are your orders?” I asked the nearest sentry.
He licked his lips. “To guard the aft airlock against unauthorized departures, sir, until the launch makes its last trip. Then we’re to go aboard and sail with Portia.”
“Very well.” I looked about. The corridor was spacious, almost as wide as Hibernia’s. Challenger, though a sloop, was a three-disker, barely smaller than a ship of the line. Admiral Brentley had meant well by posting me to her.
As on all ships, the bridge would be on Level 1. The ladder would be somewhere around the curve. Exhausted, I left the guards behind and trekked along the corridor.
Discarded belongings lay about, deepening my sense of abandonment. I climbed to Level 1. The bridge hatch was sealed. I pounded. “Open, there! This is the Captain!” A camera eye swiveled to find me. The hatch slid open.
Philip Tyre stiffened to attention as he rose from the console.
“You?” I shouted. “What the devil are you doing here?”
