Beguiling the Duke, page 15
Law began to see why she was the woman he’d fallen in love with. She saw him, not his pedigree. “I would give it all up for you if I could,” he said sadly.
“But you can’t.”
No, he could not. While he could cast off his father’s influence, he would still be the Duke of Lawford with all the duties that came with it.
“Everything we’ve shared has been real to me. You’re the best person I’ve ever known, and though we’ve only known each other a handful of days, I can’t imagine my life without you in it. What about last night?” Law asked. “What if there’s a child?”
Surprise flashed in her gaze, but she didn’t appear to hold onto the emotion. “It’s unlikely there will be after just one encounter. Please don’t badger me about it. I don’t wish to make problems that aren’t there.”
“But you would tell me?”
“Of course. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to bathe and get ready for this evening.”
That she was going to attend the festival on her own, to face everyone after what had happened, was a testament to her strength and courage. He wasn’t the least bit surprised by her decision to continue on. “You astonish me,” he said reverently. “I will deeply regret not having the chance to be the man who stands at your side, who’s privileged to call you his wife and his love. And I feel certain I will love you for the rest of my days.” He smiled sadly. “I only want you to be happy, and for that reason, I will retreat.” He bowed. “My lady maiden fair.”
Turning, he left her chamber and wondered just what in the hell he was supposed to do now.
Chapter 13
Mavis had been uncharacteristically quiet as she’d dressed Sadie and styled her hair. Sadie had confided in her that morning that Law had asked her to marry him, but had sworn her to secrecy. They hadn’t discussed it since.
As Sadie donned her gloves before going downstairs to leave for the gardens with her father and younger brothers, Mavis broke her silence. “Are you not marrying His Grace, then?”
“No, I’m not. The life of a duchess is not for me. I want a simple life with a home and a family. I wouldn’t know how to navigate London Society, and honestly, I don’t care to learn.” If she said it and thought it enough, this would become true, wouldn’t it? She could ignore the real truth, that she was afraid to leave the comfort of the place and people she knew, the environment that she managed and adored.
Mavis appeared nearly as crestfallen as Law had earlier. Sadie flinched thinking of that moment, of the hurt in his eyes. That hadn’t been her intent. She was trying to avoid her own further hurt and humiliation. And yet, letting him go was as painful—more so, really—than how she’d felt following the scene at the pudding competition. Still, it was the right thing to do.
“You would be an excellent duchess,” Mavis said. “And I would have been with you—a bit of home at your side.”
Sadie had asked her to be her lady’s maid that morning after telling her about the betrothal. Mavis had been thrilled, particularly since she’d developed an affection for Holden that was reciprocated.
“You would have made it easier, I’m sure,” Sadie said. “However, I’m not willing to endure the gossip, and I do feel bad about how this debacle will affect Lady Frederica’s reputation.”
“None of it was her fault. None of it was the duke’s fault either, as far as I can tell,” Mavis said.
“It seems like a big misunderstanding, but unfortunately, those can have repercussions—at least in Society. Do you see why I’d choose to stay far away?”
“I suppose.” Mavis didn’t sound completely convinced. She did, however, sound as if she was done voicing any opposition.
Sadie gave her a faint, sympathetic smile. “If you decide you want to leave Fieldstone, I’ll understand. I want you to make the best choice for you, just as I’ve done for me.”
“Thank you, Sadie. I don’t know what I’ll do.”
Sadie would be incredibly sad to lose her, but she would never ask her to stay. “I must be on my way.” Glancing in the mirror, she looked pale, and her eyes seemed…sad. She needed to find some cheer before arriving at the botanical gardens.
“You’re brave to go tonight,” Mavis said.
“Thank you. I appreciate you saying that. I’ve a duty as a maiden fair, and I’m not going to abandon it.”
“You’re going to ignore the gossip then and hold your head high. I’m proud of you.”
Sadie started toward the door, then nearly caught her foot on the threshold as she realized what Mavis had just done. She’d neatly shown Sadie that she was going to endure gossip, that she could very well do that in London as well. If she wanted to.
Well, damn.
Looking back over her shoulder, Sadie gave Mavis a small smile as she narrowed her eyes. “You’re very clever, Mavis. I’d be loath to lose you, but Holden will be very lucky.”
As Sadie reached the bottom of the stairs, her father coughed. “You look lovely, Sadie. You remind me of your mother, bless her soul.”
Sadie froze for a moment. He didn’t mention her mother often anymore, and Sadie couldn’t recall him ever saying she reminded him of her. “I hope that’s a comfort to you, Papa,” she said quietly.
“It is. I want you to know how sorry I am about how things are here at Fieldstone. I should have realized you were overburdened.”
She felt bad for losing her temper the way she did. “To be fair, I didn’t complain. I don’t usually mind. It’s just that this week, being a maiden fair, I realized how much I do and how much I’d rather do it in my own household.”
“I can understand and appreciate that. I’ve done you a grave disservice not seeing to your marriage before now.” He shook his head. “We’ve all—I’ve come to depend on you so much. I’ve been selfish, but no more. I spoke to Mrs. Rowell about a potential housekeeper. She has a friend who was working for a vicar who died, and she needs a new position.”
“That sounds promising,” Sadie said.
He offered her his arm. “Come, Adam and Richard are already in the coach.”
They made their way outside, and her father handed her into the vehicle. Bryan had them on their way in a trice.
Both Adam and Richard tried not to look at Sadie. “I’m not angry with you anymore,” she said.
They visibly relaxed. “What about the duke?” Adam asked. “The wagers at the Wheatsheaf were nearly all in favor of him proposing.”
“I thought you might make a nice wedded couple,” Richard said.
Sadie’s insides twisted. She’d thought so too. Had she made a mistake? Of course not. She’d made a reasonable choice, one that would ensure she was happy. Even if she wasn’t today.
Stiffening her spine against the squab, she said, “I wouldn’t want to be a duchess. Can you imagine having to swan about London and meet the queen?” That actually terrified Sadie to a certain extent. What if she embarrassed herself?
“I think it sounds marvelous,” Adam said, his eyes shining in the lamplight.
“Think of the scientific lectures I could attend.” Richard let out a wistful sigh.
Well, now Sadie felt badly that she wouldn’t be able to invite her brothers to visit her in London. But she couldn’t make a decision based on them—hadn’t she been doing that, putting her family before her own wishes, for far too long? “Perhaps the two of you should move to London.”
Their eyes widened briefly, and they turned their heads to look out the window.
“I prefer a simple life in the country with my own modest home,” Sadie added.
“Don’t overlook the importance of love,” their father said, surprising everyone, judging by how they all swung their gazes toward him. “Sometimes it’s better to think with your heart instead of your head.” A faint smile curled his lips as if he were remembering a distant memory.
“Is that what you did with our mother?” Richard asked.
“Always,” he responded with a laugh. “But what’s remarkable is that probably for the only time in her life she did the same. Your mother was far more practical than I am.” He looked toward Sadie, his gaze holding hers for a moment. “Never underestimate the fortitude of love. It can make anything possible.”
It made Sadie think foolishness was more likely—she’d allowed herself to be swept away by Osborne and then Law. It was far better for her to be as practical as her mother was. That gave her comfort. She’d ignore the fact that her mother had apparently followed her heart to wed Sadie’s father.
They drove into town and disembarked at the gate to the gardens. She took her father’s arm as they entered.
As they neared the central area where the dais was located, Mr. Stackhouse approached her. He bowed. “Good evening, Miss Campion. Might we take a promenade?”
“Certainly.” Sadie was glad for the distraction of his company. She took his arm, and they walked toward one of the follies.
“You look lovely tonight.”
Sadie was aware that she was wearing the same gown as the first night, but then he hadn’t been here to see it. “Thank you.” She searched for a topic of conversation. “Where is it you’re lodging in town?”
“The Wheatsheaf. It was quite busy this afternoon. Someone told me it was because of the betting book. People were rushing to make new wagers based on—” Color rushed into his face, and he cast an apologetic look at her. “Never mind.”
“It’s all right,” Sadie said, hearing Mavis’s words about her courage for enduring the gossip tonight. “I realize what happened at the pudding competition will be a popular topic of discussion this evening.” And perhaps for some time.
“I imagine it’s awkward for you since the duke is your houseguest.” Was that all he meant? Had he not realized that many had suspected she and the duke were courting?
“I’m trying not to pay too close attention,” she said vaguely. “I do consider the duke a friend, but that is all.” There, she’d addressed any concerns he might have about a potential courtship. She felt Stackhouse relax—she hadn’t even realized he was tense, but now it was clear he had been—and an easy smile split his mouth.
“He’s very lucky to have a friend such as you,” Stackhouse said.
“I can’t imagine how he’s feeling after what happened.” Indeed, she hadn’t even asked, and she regretted not doing so. Regardless of what had transpired, they were friends. She’d been too focused on telling him she couldn’t marry him and his reaction to that.
“Must be awfully complicated being a duke. All the responsibilities and expectations, not to mention the gossip.” He waved his hand. “I’m glad not to have such concerns.”
“I suppose we all have those things to a certain extent.” For some reason, Sadie felt a need to defend Law, which was silly since she’d refused him precisely because she hadn’t wanted to join his sophisticated life.
“Yes, I suppose we do. Shall we explore the folly?” he asked.
“That sounds pleasant.” Sadie looked askance at Mr. Stackhouse and wondered what she might say if he proposed tomorrow on the last day of the festival, when most proposals took place. That would be a very fast courtship since Stackhouse had arrived late.
How many couples actually fell in love during the whirlwind of the festival? She’d never considered that before. She’d honestly never given the notion of love much thought until this week when it had taken her completely by surprise. Even with Osborne, she hadn’t thought she’d fallen in love with him despite expecting he would propose.
But she did love Law.
Her father’s words came back to her. Could she allow her heart to guide her?
No, she didn’t want that life. She wanted simplicity and comfort. In time, the pain of refusing Law would fade.
Chapter 14
After watching Sadie leave in the coach with her father and brothers, Law turned from his window and stared at the bed where just last night he’d made love to Sadie and dreamed of their future together. How had everything come apart so badly and so fast?
But then how had they fallen in love so quickly? He’d never spared much thought for love. Duty was what came to mind when he contemplated marriage. Now, he wasn’t sure how to marry someone he didn’t love. And he couldn’t imagine loving anyone other than Sadie.
She’d made it clear she didn’t love him, or at least not enough to marry him. The pain of her rejection stung, even if he understood why she’d done it.
Glancing about his room, he wondered where the hell Yates was. Law hadn’t seen him since before he’d gone to the pudding competition. Had the man heard Gillingham was in town and run off upon realizing Law would now know of his treachery? No, more likely he was just sulking in his room.
Law left his chamber and went upstairs in search of the valet. Finding Yates’s room empty, Law went to Holden’s and rapped on the door.
“Come in.” Holden was standing in front of the mirror trying to tie his cravat. He muttered a curse as Law stepped inside.
“That looks awfully difficult to accomplish with one hand.” Law moved toward him. “May I help?”
Holden arched a dark brow. “I’m not sure it’s acceptable for a duke to knot his coachman’s neckcloth.”
Law shrugged. “I’ve decided the expectations for a duke are absurd. I’m going to make my own rules from now on.” He did his best to tie the linen into a semblance of a cravat. “I’m quite rubbish at this, which is unfortunate considering I’m going to be without a valet.”
“Are you? Is that why I haven’t seen Yates all afternoon?”
“I haven’t given him his notice yet. I’ve been wondering where he is.” Law surveyed his work. “That will do, I suppose. Who’s been managing this for you the past few days?”
Color stained the man’s full cheeks. “Mavis. I’m expecting her shortly so we may be on our way to the festival. I thought it would be nice to greet her without having to ask her to finish helping me dress for once.”
“I see. It seems you and Mavis have formed an attachment. Is it anything…lasting?”
“I hope it might be. I was, ah, going to speak with you about whether there might be a place for her in one of your households.”
Law instantly thought of how losing her would affect Sadie. He didn’t want to deprive her of her maid, but neither did he want to prevent the course of true love. “I’m sure there would be—if that’s what you want. Let me know once you and Mavis decide.”
Holden met his gaze and nodded. “I will, Your Grace. Thank you.” His attention shifted to the doorway. “There’s Yates now.”
Law spun about and went to the door. “Yates!”
The valet was nearly to his room when he stopped. Turning, he summoned a humorless smile. “Your Grace, there you are.” He walked toward Holden’s room, his frame rigid. “I stopped at your chamber, but you weren’t there.”
“And where have you been?” Law demanded.
“In town at Lord Gillingham’s request. He was hoping there might be an avenue for reconciliation between you and Lady Frederica.”
“Reconciliation? I’d never even met her until today.” Law took a step toward the older man, his lip curling.
“That may be the case, but your union has been anticipated for months.”
“Not by me. I never should have agreed to my father’s demands, but I only said I’d consider a betrothal. Any promise made was not by me. But you know that because you forged a letter. How in the hell did you even send a letter during the festival?”
“I walked to another village and paid to have it delivered.” He sounded proud of himself.
“That must have cost a great deal.” Law hoped so. “I could have you arrested for impersonating me.”
Yates twitched as his lips pressed together so tightly that they nearly disappeared.
Holden rushed to the doorway, his eyes wide. “He didn’t!”
“He did,” Law said tightly. “He wrote a letter in my name saying I was eager to wed Lady Frederica and sent it to her father. He invited them to join me at this matchmaking festival, the perfect place for us to sign a marriage contract. Then they came here expecting a betrothal. Have you any idea what damage you may have caused to Lady Frederica?” Law thundered, disliking that in his ire, he sounded too much like his father.
Yates paled. “There would be no harm if you simply married her. That’s the easiest and best solution. It’s also what your father wanted.”
Law shook his head. “You’ve no remorse at all, do you?”
“Where is your remorse?” Yates’s eyes goggled. “You’ve been carrying on with that…with Miss Campion here instead of making your way to Lord Gillingham’s estate. It’s a travesty.”
A white-hot anger burned in Law’s chest when he thought of what word Yates might have used to describe Sadie. “You’d best watch yourself,” he growled, seething.
Yates sneered. “I watch everything and everyone. Why can’t you see I’ve been trying to help you? If only I’d been able to keep you away from her.” He pressed his lips together as if he were trying not to speak.
Law froze. “What did you do?” His red face, the malaise after the picnic, which he was now entirely certain had been laudanum. “You drugged me.” Law gaped at the man, shocked at his depravity.
The valet went stiff. “I did what was necessary. And there was no harm done.”
Law shook with fury. “You’ve caused plenty of harm, and you don’t care because it was in the name of serving my father. You will earn no favor from a dead man, nor will you receive any from me. You are dismissed effective immediately—without reference.”
