Gilded Serpent, page 32
Killian pushed himself back, the muscles in his arms standing out against his skin, his eyes roving down her body. With anyone else, she would’ve cringed beneath the scrutiny, but his gaze only turned her body to liquid, her head falling back against the bed, her back arching as his fingers brushed the fabric of his shirt away from her breasts.
Then his eyes locked on hers. “There isn’t a woman in the world more beautiful than you.” He lowered his head to kiss her lips softly. “No one more perfect.”
You aren’t perfect, an ugly voice whispered from deep in her thoughts.
But the voice was driven away as Killian’s lips moved downwards; his tongue teased the tip of one breast and then the other before he continued his descent. She writhed beneath him, digging her fingers into the muscles of his shoulders, trailing her nails down his back, a smile rising to her lips as he groaned, his breath hot where his lips pressed just below her belly button.
You need to tell him.
About Malahi.
About you.
You need to stop this.
But the thoughts seemed distant, because what she wanted was him. All of him. Especially with his fingers trailing lines of fire up the insides of her naked legs, leaving behind prickles of sensation as he kissed the inside of her knee, his cheek rough against her inner thigh.
If you let this happen, you will hurt him.
The thought slapped her across the face, and one word tore from her lips. “Stop!”
She’d meant it for herself, not him, but Killian froze. Lifting his face, he looked at her with concern. “Did I—”
“Malahi’s alive.” She blurted the truth out before she lost her courage. Before her own selfish desires resumed control. “Rufina has her prisoner in Derin. We need to rescue her.”
Tell him the rest. Get it done.
Except she couldn’t.
Killian didn’t speak, only stared at her, horror filling his dark eyes. Then he whispered, “Malahi’s alive?”
“If Rufina’s to be believed.”
“And she’s been a prisoner this entire time?”
Her tongue was too thick, too dry, to speak, so she nodded. “Rufina discovered Malahi was a tender from Serrick. She’s trying to force Malahi to expand the reach of the blight.”
Silence. The awful crippling sort that made Lydia want to scream, Say something!
And then he did, and she wished for all the world that the silence had continued forever.
“Those,” he whispered, pushing away from her, “should’ve been the first words that exited your lips.”
And with one violent motion, he turned away and crossed the room, the door slamming behind him.
58
KILLIAN
Malahi was still alive.
Alive, and suffering gods knew what sort of torment under Rufina’s hands while Killian had been guarding her reptile of a father’s gold mines.
Striding through the building, he ignored Finn as he passed and stepped outside into the growing dawn, boots splashing in the puddles of mud as he went toward the stables. Not bothering with a saddle, he swiftly bridled Seahawk and vaulted onto her back, heeling the mare out of the stable.
Eyes fell upon him with interest as he wove through the fortress grounds, questions rising to lips only to fall away at the sight of his expression. No one attempted to stop him as he passed through the gate and broke into a gallop down the road, heading east as his last conversation with Malahi echoed through his head.
Everything my father touches turns to rot. There is something wrong with him.
How right she’d been. Unwittingly or not, Serrick had been under the Corrupter’s control and no one had seen it.
I did what the rest of you were too gods-damned afraid to do.
And how different would circumstances be if he’d helped her rather than hindered? If he’d kept her safe and alive and queen rather than handing the kingdom back to the Corrupter’s puppet?
If I lose the crown, everything that happens will be because of you. Because of the decision you made in this moment. And any blood that is shed will be on your hands.
Her words resounded through his thoughts like prophecy. He needed to rescue her. Needed to get her back to the kingdom. Needed to undo the damage his own selfishness had caused.
If only he hadn’t gone after Lydia, none of this might have come to pass. Malahi would be Queen, Rufina would have lost her puppet ruler and her power, and all the healers who’d died in Mudaire might well still be alive.
And yet Killian couldn’t imagine having done anything different. Couldn’t imagine having abandoned Lydia to the fate Malahi had forced upon her. Couldn’t imagine having abandoned her to almost certain death.
Lydia.
Images of her flashed through his thoughts. Of her standing her ground against the Anuk. Of her healing the injured on the battlefield.
Of her lying naked on his bed beneath him, her green eyes heavy with desire.
Stop. He dropped the reins, pressing the heels of his palms to his temples, trying to squeeze the image from his thoughts.
But all he could see was her face. All he could taste was her lips on his. All he could feel was the silken smoothness of her skin beneath his hands.
All he wanted was her.
“Stop!” He screamed the word, and Seahawk shied violently, nearly unseating him. Then she set to bucking, nostrils flaring, eyes rolling to reveal the whites.
Cursing, Killian slid off the side, letting her go where she willed as he stumbled off the road. Reaching the crest of a hill, he fell to his knees and stared at the rising sun, the brilliance making tears run down his cheeks.
Tell me what to do, he silently whispered. Tell me how to make this right.
But as always, the gods were silent. They’d given him all that he should need to be a champion for Mudamora and they’d give nothing else.
He remained kneeling on the sodden ground until the sun was well into the sky, forcing his mind toward honor and duty. And only when his path was clear to him did Killian rise and catch his horse, trotting swiftly back toward camp.
59
LYDIA
“You’ll be all right,” she said, smoothing the hair back out of the soldier’s eyes, giving him a comforting smile. “A few days of rest and you’ll be back on your feet.”
“Thank you, Marked One,” he whispered, catching her hand. “They say Hegeria gave your horse wings to reach us when you did.”
“Call me Lydia,” she said for what felt like the hundredth time. “And no wings, only a streak of recklessness that I pray won’t rear its head again anytime soon.”
Smiling, she extracted her hand from his grip and moved on to the next patient, who’d been struck with several arrows, the bleeding having been checked but much of the damage remaining.
Exhaustion hung over her like a pall, but it was better to be here, doing some good, than weeping into a pillow. Sleep was an impossibility.
Goose bumps rose to her skin, and a heartbeat later, Killian said from behind her, “We need to talk.”
He’d found a shirt somewhere, but it was untucked and the sleeves rolled up to bare his forearms.
She opened her mouth to argue that she was in the middle of something, but the expression on his face had her instead gesturing to one of the women who helped tend the wounded. “I’ll be back shortly.”
Killian led her through the maze of buildings making up the camp, then out a side gate, where she found Sonia and Finn waiting. The former smiled at the sight of her, stepping forward to hug Lydia tightly. “It’s good to see you, friend.”
“And you.”
But there was no time for further conversation, Killian having continued onward toward the shadow of the bluff, a grim-faced Finn following on his heels. Only when they were well away from the camp did he stop. “Tell them what you told me.”
Lydia swiftly explained, avoiding Killian’s gaze as she did, the coldness of his expression making her feel sick.
“Malahi tried to fix the blight,” he said when she finished explaining her belief that a tender might be able to reverse the path of the blight. “She couldn’t do it.”
“That doesn’t mean it can’t be done,” Lydia said. “Blight poisoning can’t be cured by a healer in the manner we’d use to repair damage from injury or sickness. I had to draw the blight out. Like a poison.” Into myself. “If I explained it to her, it might be that Malahi could do the same for the land.”
Everyone was silent, then Finn spoke for the first time. “We need to get Malahi back.”
“Not we,” Killian answered. “Me. You three will go to Serlania to join Dareena.”
“You can’t go alone!” Sonia snapped. “This is the sort of cursed foolishness that always gets you in trouble, Killian.”
“The area around the wall is rife with blight, and you and Finn are liable to be infected.” He crossed his arms. “As it is, you’ll only slow me down.”
The last he directed at Lydia and she couldn’t help flinching. But she hadn’t come this far to abandon her cause over hurtful words. “I’m coming. The blight won’t make me sick. And as it is, I understand it better than anyone.”
“No. I don’t want you along.”
There was so much anger in his eyes. And it was her own doing. If she’d only told him straightaway why she was here, none of this would’ve come to pass. But instead, she’d only thought of herself. “If they’ve hurt her, you’ll need me. If you get hurt yourself, you’ll need me.”
“I’ll manage.” Turning to Finn and Sonia, he said, “The last thing we need is word that I’m going after Malahi to reach the ears of the blighters and them warning Rufina. So instead, I’m going to lie and say that those of the Royal Army here with us are ordered to march to Serlania. You three will march with them under the pretense that I intend to follow. By the time Rufina figures out that I’m not with you, I’ll have a good head start.”
Whether the deception would work or not, Lydia wasn’t certain. The Corrupter was a god, and therefore should be able to see all, and yet that hadn’t seemed the case when she and Dareena had been trying to flee the city.
She opened her mouth at the same time as Finn, but Killian cut both of them off with, “Retrieving Malahi or any of the tenders is a shot in the dark, Finn. They could already be dead, so it’s foolish to risk any lives unnecessarily when High Lady Falorn needs everything Mudamora has to fight the blighter army. You wanted a chance to fight? Well, here it is.”
“I’m your squire. I’m supposed to stay with you.”
Lydia’s heart broke at Finn’s tone, the pieces fracturing further when she saw Killian wasn’t immune, his expression softening. “You are my squire. Which is why I need you to join Dareena and fight for her in my stead.”
Finn’s jaw worked back and forth, but he nodded.
Killian gripped his shoulder. “Meet me back at camp. I’ve something to give you before I go.”
Seeming to sense that any further protest would be for nothing, Sonia tugged on Finn’s arm, leading him back to camp. Leaving Killian and Lydia alone together.
“You’re a distraction for me,” he said, looking anywhere but at her. “And the consequences of that outweigh whatever benefit you bring to the table. Dareena needs all the marked healers she can get, which means with her you can do some good. And as I said before, you’ll only slow me down.”
Her chest felt hollow, as though his words had carved out her insides and left nothing behind but hurt. “Raising an army to fight the blighters might slow them down, but it won’t stop them. Not when the blight will just keep infecting more and more people.” She blinked back the tears that threatened to spill down her face. “We have to rid the land of the blight to win this battle, and I believe Malahi is key to doing that. This is my home, and I’ll do whatever it takes to save it.”
“This is not your home.” His voice was cutting. “Your home is Celendor, Lydia.”
It was where she’d been raised, yes. But Mudamora was her home now. And she believed with all of her heart that the gods had brought her here to help save it. “This is where I belong. This is my fight. And if you don’t take me with you, I’ll go alone rather than see your pride be the doom of Mudamora.”
He flinched, but snapped, “Pride has nothing to do with it.”
“What happened between us was a mistake, Killian,” she said, wishing to the depths of her soul that it was otherwise. “And it won’t happen again.”
Neither of them spoke, the tension making her feel sick.
“Fine,” Killian finally snapped. “Be ready to leave an hour before dawn.”
Then without another word, he strode back to the camp.
* * *
She spent a good portion of the rest of the day in the healing tents, the endless work a blessed distraction. But just as it was starting to get dark, Sonia appeared.
“Hungry?” the young woman asked.
Lydia had no appetite, but knew she needed to eat, so she nodded, washing her hands and then following Sonia out of the tent. They joined a queue of waiting soldiers, accepting plates heaped with fresh bread, grilled meat, and steaming vegetables, along with cups of foaming ale.
“Why didn’t you go with the rest of Malahi’s guard to work for the High Lady?” she asked once they’d found a spot to sit and eat, the fading sun still warm.
“Didn’t feel right to leave him.” Sonia took a bite of bread, chewing thoughtfully. “Killian won a great victory, but between Malahi’s presumed death and your departure with Quindor, he felt far from victorious. It might have been endurable if Serrick had allowed him to continue working to push out the Corrupter’s influence but he sent him here”—she gestured at the buildings—“to guard what is for all intents and purposes Serrick’s treasury.”
Lydia swallowed a mouthful of meat. “It seems to need guarding.”
“Cast that blame at the feet of the Rowenes family.” At Lydia’s frown, Sonia explained all that had happened while they’d been at the border, including Ria’s secret attacks on the Anuk. “Though knowing what we know now,” her friend added, “I think Rufina was behind the decision to send Killian here.”
They ate in silence for a long time, then Sonia set aside her plate. “He’s not the same as when you last saw him, Lydia. He’s angry. Always, always angry. Quick to temper and slow to laugh.”
The food she was eating soured, and Lydia set aside her own plate. “That’s not him.”
“It is now. He was merciless with the Anuk when he believed they were attacking unprovoked, and learning the truth pushed him to the brink. He was sick with guilt before we learned Malahi has been Rufina’s prisoner. Now it’s a hundred times worse. It’s not you he’s angry with, it’s himself.”
Sonia’s words made sense, and yet every time she blinked, Lydia saw the anger in his eyes when he looked at her. The coldness. And she couldn’t help but think that Killian at least partially blamed her for all that had befallen Malahi.
Standing, Sonia motioned for Lydia to follow. They discarded their plates back at the mess, then Sonia took her to the rear of the fortress, where she quickly picked up the metallic clang of sword striking sword.
Holding up a finger to her lips, Sonia whispered, “Better if they don’t see us.” Then she moved behind a series of weapons racks and took a seat on the ground. Lydia sat next to her, peering through the rows of pikes and swords.
Killian and Finn were sparring at the center of the training yard, both dripping sweat from heat and exertion. Though he’d likely never held a weapon before becoming Killian’s squire, Finn was already far more adept than Lydia was, his nimble feet serving him well as he danced back and forth.
“You have to hold your ground at some point,” Killian said, pressing Finn backward. “If I’d known you only intended to use it as a dance partner, I’d have spent less on that sword.”
“I’m wearing you down, old man! As soon as you start to pant, I’ll strike!”
Killian laughed, the first genuine smile she’d seen rising to his lips, and Lydia’s eyes stung.
Then Finn darted forward in an attack, weapons clashing violently, Finn’s expression intent and Killian’s devoid of the frustration he’d worn when teaching her. He parried the boy’s rapid slashes, then in one quick motion, jabbed at Finn, sword point stopping just shy of his shirt. “Ow!” Finn cried, falling to the ground and rolling around. “I’m dead. I’m dying.”
“The dying comes before the dead.” Killian reached down to grab Finn’s arm and hauled him to his feet. “And you lowered your guard again. Watch.”
Lydia sat silently next to Sonia, watching as Killian showed Finn his error before they began anew.
No yelling. No swearing. No weapons tossed aside in irritation.
“This,” she said softly, “is not what it was like when he taught me. He’s far nicer to Finn.”
Sonia made a soft noise, nodding slowly. “For all he claims that he can’t teach, Killian is remarkably able to become the teacher each student needs.” She turned her head back to watching the pair spar, and then she said, “I like to watch them together. It reminds me that beneath the anger, he’s still in there.” Then she reached out and took Lydia’s hand, squeezing it hard. “You’re not just going to Derin to rescue Malahi. You need to bring back Killian, too.”
60
MARCUS
They’d covered 140 miles.
It was an incredible feat, given the obstacles they’d faced, but as Marcus stared at the map on the wall of the shack they currently inhabited, he feared it might all have been for naught.
It was snowing.
The lack of visibility had kept them from traveling to the next shelter, but if it continued to snow, it would be the carpet of white flakes on the ground, which was growing thicker by the hour, that would trap them. And with both daylight hours and their supply of meat dwindling, it wasn’t a delay they could afford. As it was, they didn’t have enough food to make it even halfway to the nearest legion fort, which meant they’d be forced to try to fish or hunt right as the season shifted into winter.
