Bi-Partisan, page 15
“Yeah I know, and I think you’re right. We kind of had a… moment.”
He cocks his head to let me know to continue.
“I kind of thought he was going to kiss me as he was leaving,” I say before frowning a little. “Well I guess he technically did, but it was just on the cheek.”
“Did you want him to kiss you for real?” he asks carefully.
“I think I did,” I admit. I groan and tip my head back to rest on the couch, staring up at the ceiling. “What is wrong with me?”
“Nothing.”
“I’m developing some sort of feelings for someone who is supposed to be my fake boyfriend.”
“So?”
With a huff, I lift my head again to level a look at my best friend. “We’re only doing this to save his image.”
“Adrian,” he says, using a tone that sounds more like he’s saying ‘hey, you idiot’. “That guy just spent an entire evening talking to your friends and family, asking to hear stories about you, looking at the handful of pictures of your childhood your mom had saved on her phone. He texts you all the time and brought you flowers. He wouldn’t do that if this whole thing was really only about saving his image.”
He’s probably right. “But he said he didn’t have time to date,” I point out. “And our arrangement has an end date.”
“Okay, but hear me out.” He points his chopsticks at me. “What if it didn’t?”
I can’t help rolling my eyes. “Case…”
“Sure he said he didn’t have time to date but that could have changed,” he says with a shrug.
“Except that it hasn’t changed,” I argue. “He’s still just as busy, and he is still one of the about five hundred most important people in the government.”
“You say that as if ninety percent of those people aren’t married with families. His schedule may not have changed, but his priorities might have. Because—and I don’t want to put too fine a point on this—he wrote a freaking federal bill to help a cause you’re passionate about. If that’s not a romantic grand gesture, I don’t know what is.”
“You need to stop watching rom-coms,” I say. Although, I did get all warm and fluttery inside when I read the cover page and realized what he’d done. It felt like a grand gesture moment.
“Don’t yuck my yum, especially when you know I’m right.” He pops another dumpling in his mouth.
I sigh. “So you think I should, what, exactly?”
“Shoot your shot,” he says, the words coming out garbled because of the dumpling still in his mouth. He finishes chewing, then swallows. “Let yourself have this. I think this could be good for you.”
“That’s what you said when you convinced me to go along with this arrangement in the first place.”
“And I stand by it.”
I grab up my chopsticks again and pick at my lo mein.
“Just think about it, okay?” he says.
“I will.”
I don’t think my anxiety will let me do anything but that.
Chapter 16
Adrian
Song: Born This Way – Lady Gaga
5 People
May 12, 4:53 PM
Mina
Hey y’all! DC pride is coming up. It’ll be Jamie’s first pride as an out and proud bisexual, so who’s in?
Sophie
Hi!! The token straight is in!
Oh, and this is Sophie for the two unknown numbers in the chat
Unknown Number
This is Chloe (Mina’s girlfriend). I’m in!
Casey
I’m in! This is Casey
Sophie
Hi Chloe! I’m excited to meet you. Mina told me all about you at Adrian’s birthday
This is Adrian
Sorry Chloe, if I’d known, I would have extended the birthday invite to you as well
Chloe
No worries! I was out of town at a shoot anyway
Jamie
Yeah sorry darlin’ that was on me
And by process of elimination this is Jamie. And I guess since Mina name dropped me, that means I’m in
Mina
As your best friend, I am not letting your miss your first real pride
Jamie
You say that as if we’re not going down for Raleigh pride at the end of June
Mina
Yeah but that’s like an official thing. You’ll have to be in campaign mode all day
At DC pride you’ll just have to be in campaign mode for the five seconds it takes me to snap a few pictures for your social media. The rest of the time you can just have gay fun at a parade with your friends
Well not too much fun but you know that I mean
Jamie
You make a very solid point
Although can we have our gay fun at the festival instead of the parade?
Chloe
Oh yeah I’m with Jamie. Festival > parade
Festival has food
Sophie
Ooh food. That’s the magic word right there
Casey
Festival gets my vote too
Mina
I don’t care as long as it’s hella gay
Adrian you in?
Festival is good with me
Jamie Montgomery
May 12, 5:27 PM
So I’m guessing if Mina wants pictures for your social, I would need to be in them, right?
Not if you’d be uncomfortable
You also don’t have to come at all if you don’t want to
It’s okay I can go
You don’t like crowds though
I don’t but I also don’t want you to look suspicious by me not being there. And the festival should be better than the parade
Okay good. That’s what I thought which is why I suggested it
Wait really?
Yeah I figured a moving crowd you could get away from it you needed to would be better for you than being trapped behind a barricade with a crowd
Jamie you didn’t have to do that
I know. But I wanted to
It’s your first pride out and if you want to go to the parade that’s what we should do. I’ll be fine
Darlin’ I don’t care whether we go to the parade or the festival. All I want is to have fun, and I’m not gonna have fun if I know you’re miserable
It’s June in DC. I’m pretty sure we’re all going to be miserable
True. In the wise words of Leslie Knope, this is a stupid swamp town
But really I’m good either way. If I were in the parade it’d be one thing. But I’m not and honestly the idea of being trapped behind a barricade with people isn’t all that appealing to me either
All I want is to be there with you and our friends and try to enjoy my first pride pretending I came out just like any other regular person
Thank you
Speaking of being in the parade, Mina mentioned being in campaign mode at Raleigh pride. Are you in the parade for that?
No Raleigh pride is just a festival
Do you need me to be there?
No, it’s okay. I’m already dragging you through one crowd. I don’t want to make you take the trip to be dragged through another one. Plus my parents are going to be there and they’re probably going to be even more extra than usual now that I’m out. And I’ll be campaigning. It’s going to be a lot
You aren’t dragging me to DC pride. I’m going because I want to. I may hate crowds but I can usually cope as long as I have plenty of time to hermit and recover after
But I will admit that does sound like a lot
Hermit?
That’s what Casey calls it when I hide away in my apartment after a lot of socializing. Like a hermit crab
Cute
But really it’s okay
If you’re sure
I am
Okay. Thank you
And thank you for suggesting the festival instead of the parade
You’re welcome <3
The moment Casey, Sophie, and I round the corner to see the crowd of people waiting to get through the entrance to the Capitol Pride Festival, I’m grateful I took a preventative Xanax before leaving the apartment. I usually try to avoid taking it to prevent increased periods of anxiety. Except before flying, that is. I prefer for it to be a last resort—a backup for when my other coping mechanisms fail. But remembering how I dealt with the crowds at pride a few years ago when Casey convinced me it would be fun, I knew I’d need the extra pharmaceutical help. And even though Jamie has been more understanding of my anxiety than I ever expected him to be, the last thing I want is to ruin his first pride by having some sort of episode. Hence the preventative measure, which seems to be working so far because as we follow the moving crowd to the entrance, I don’t feel my usual flight response kick in. I’m still on edge being around this many people, but it’s manageable.
We’re maybe twenty feet away from the entrance where they’re taking donations when I hear a shout from my left.
“Adrian!”
I stop short and look around to see where the sound came from when Jamie appears by my side, along with Mina and her girlfriend Chloe, almost as if he came out of nowhere.
“Hey, darlin’. Nice heart,” he says, grinning as he gestures at the rainbow heart tattoo I let Sophie paint on my cheek before leaving the house. It takes everything I have not to melt—and not because of the DC heat. I swear, that freaking dimple gets me every damn time.
“Hi.” I take a tentative step toward him. We’re in public, so in theory we should be acting like a couple and I should probably give him some sort of affectionate greeting. But aside from keeping up the act, I find myself wanting to be affectionate with him. Wanting to touch him. But it’s that desire that has me suddenly freezing up like a deer in the headlights.
Thankfully, he doesn’t seem to have that problem, and he closes the distance between us, wrapping his arms around me for a hug. Around us, I hear the rest of the group exchange their greetings—including Sophie squealing something about Chloe’s pink hair—but it fades into the background noise as I let myself settle into Jamie’s embrace. It’s only for a few seconds, though, then he pulls away, pressing his lips to my cheek as he lets me go.
Shoving down the momentary disappointment that, for a second time, he only kissed my cheek, I take a moment to look him over. He’s dressed the most casually I’ve ever seen him, in khaki shorts and tennis shoes. But my eyes snag on his shirt—a polo, which seems a little out of place at a pride festival until I notice the color pattern. I can’t help but smirk. “Is that a bi flag gradient polo?”
“Don’t,” he warns, trying and failing to suppress his own smile.
“Yes, please, Adrian, tell him how ridiculous that thing is,” Mina says as she waves a wild hand toward him.
He gives me an almost pleading look. “I have no idea where my mother found it, but she seemed really proud of it, so I didn’t have the heart not to wear it.”
Well, if that doesn’t make me fall for him just a little bit more.
“I think it suits you,” I say, allowing my smirk to fade into a soft smile.
His face lights up as he turns to face Mina. “Ha! See, my boyfriend likes it,” he says triumphantly as he slides his hand into mine.
She rolls her eyes, but smiles. “I’m pretty sure your boyfriend just likes you and, therefore, doesn’t want to tease you about your awful polo.”
Deep down, I know their “boyfriend” banter is because we’re in public and need to keep up appearances. But it makes my stomach flip all the same. It’s never a word I thought I’d ever hear or like in reference to me, but I think I do. And now I’m really glad for the Xanax mildly dulling my anxious edge because I definitely do not have time to spiral about the implications of that.
“So should we head in?” Sophie pipes up. “I’m starving and haven’t eaten anything yet today.”
“Soph, it’s past noon,” Casey says, giving her a pointed look.
“I wasn’t hungry when I woke up, then I forgot,” she says defensively.
“Mina, when do you want to do our post for social? Do you want to get it out of the way out here, or somewhere inside?” Jamie asks.
“Oh, and I want a group picture before we forget. I spent too long on face paint,” she says, gesturing at the rainbow butterfly taking up half the side of her face then at the demi-pan heart she painted on Casey’s cheek, “and I want pictures before it melts off.”
“Agreed. And I need a picture of this jumpsuit,” Mina says, posing to show off her jumpsuit printed with flowers in the lesbian flag colors. “Let's take the photos inside the gate. I think I saw a balloon arch that would make a good backdrop.”
The group nods, and we head through the entrance, making a donation on our way. There is, in fact, a balloon arch relatively close to the entrance, so we walk towards it. Thankfully, there aren’t too many people who had the same idea, so Jamie and I are able to situate ourselves in front of it without anyone else getting in our way. Once we do, though, I have no idea what to do. Getting the photos out of the way first is smart, but I still hate getting my picture taken. I never know how to pose, especially with someone who’s supposed to be my boyfriend.
Like the first time we did this, he seems to be able to sense my discomfort and hesitation. He squeezes my hand once, offering me a small, private smile, then steps in front of me. His hands guide my arms to wrap around his waist from behind, then he leans back, his back pressing into my chest. Taking his lead, I press my unpainted cheek against his.
“That’s perfect,” Mina says, holding up her phone. “Now smile a little—great.”
I hold my smile as she snaps the photo, and after a few seconds, I feel Jamie shift away a little. I assume that means we’re done, but then his lips press against my cheek. I feel my skin heat, especially when I see Mina snap a few more photos. Oh, God, she’s not going to post that one, is she? I would think that such obvious PDA would be a no go, even on his personal account.
“Well, I won’t be posting that one, but y’all are cute,” she says, and I relax a little.
Okay, good.
She takes a few seconds to review the photos, then gives us a thumbs up. “We’re good. Alright, group picture time. Everyone in.”
I half expect Jamie to move, but he stays put as Casey, Sophie, Mina, and Chloe gather around us—which makes sense, seeing as Mina’s arms are only so long. She angles the phone toward us, and we all maneuver so we can see ourselves on the screen. And normally, I hate these big group selfies more than individual photos of myself. But seeing all of us in the frame together, covered in various pride flags, makes me feel a little warm inside. It makes me feel like I belong, which is something I’d given up on feeling after my eighth move.
My brain gets a little stuck on that thought, so it takes me a second to realize the photo has been taken and everyone has separated again. I mentally shake myself, then let go of Jamie’s waist and step back, trying to ignore the way I already miss the warmth of him pressed against me.
He doesn’t seem too keen on the separation, either, though, because his hand immediately finds mine again. “Okay, darlin’?”
I nod and lace our fingers together, squeezing his hand and earning a smile. “I’m good.”
He appraises me for a moment, then nods, seemingly satisfied.
“Alright, so food?” Sophie says.
We all nod in agreement. “Food.”
Chapter 17
Jamie
Song: Late Night Talking – Harry Styles
My phone buzzes with a text in my jogger pocket as I’m pulling the last of my mom’s frozen lasagnas out of the freezer. My mom has never said it outright, but I think she knows that most of the meals I consume are takeout or from the hot bar section of Whole Foods. So at least once a month when I’m home in Cary, she’ll load me up with frozen casseroles and single-serve meals to take back to DC. It’s rare that I actually have an opportunity to cook and enjoy them on a weekday, but for the first time in two months, I’m home before 8:30 p.m. In fact, I’m home at six, which I don’t think has ever happened except for right before a holiday break or long weekend.
I set the lasagna on top of the stove and press the button to preheat the oven, then lean against the counter and pull out my phone.
Adrian Wilks <3
July 7, 6:17 PM
Hey, are you busy?
My face splits into a smile as I read the text. In my excitement over not being at work, I decide to call him instead of texting him back.
“For the first time in weeks, I am not busy,” I say the moment his warm voice hits my ear. Between being in the office and traveling home for Raleigh pride two weekends ago, and Fourth of July this past weekend, I haven’t seen or truly talked to Adrian since DC’s pride festival, and I’ve kind of missed him. “I’m not in my office. I’m not on the floor listening to a pointless debate for a bill that’s just gonna pass anyway, no matter how hard the Republicans huff and puff about it. I have some reading I want to do, but I get to do so in my apartment, watching television and waiting for my oven to preheat so I can heat up one of my mom’s frozen lasagnas. I’m even wearing sweats.”
