Quinton, page 4
So, if he was making excuses, he knew full well it was because it was easier for him to not do something than it was to do something and fail. He didn’t really want to do the whole failure thing.
And that was hard to admit because, well, if he didn’t try, he couldn’t succeed; and, if he didn’t try and succeed, he’d always wonder if he could have done something more to win over Quinton. And, of course, he already knew there was much more he could do. She was it for him. She was worth all the risk. He should have done something about it a long time ago. And now that she was here, he promised himself that he would.
At the same time, he was a busy man too. And that was only proven out as he opened up the schedule for today and winced. It would be a very long day. He’d be lucky if he had a chance to eat, much less do anything else, like have a heart-to-heart with Quinton. He also knew that he had to pick a good time to share his feelings with Quinton, to open up that dialogue to see how she felt about him.
Stan knew she was in pain, knew she was worried, knew she had a lot more health issues to deal with. All over again. He wished he could help her through that, but he knew that the human patients upstairs had to be the most engaged ones in their own healing.
Stan could help her, but Quinton had to do the heavy lifting. So he didn’t want to burden her with sharing how he felt about her, until it was the best time for both of them.
Shaking his head, he put on the coffee, realized he needed to get some sustenance before his full day started, and he raced up to the dining room. Once there, he snacked on a cookie, while he waited for the hot food to come out.
As soon as Dennis saw him, he pointed out on the deck.
Stan raised an eyebrow. “What’s up?”
“Quinton’s on the deck.”
He stared at him. “And here I thought she’d still be in bed.”
“You knew?” Dennis asked him.
“Yes.” He nodded. “I was here and heard about her collapse last night. Believe me. We’re all terribly worried about her.”
At that, Dennis nodded. “Me too, but she’s out there with a cinnamon bun, waiting for hot food.”
“Me too,” he noted. “Any idea how long?”
“We’re a good five minutes behind schedule,” he replied, “so take your coffee outside and visit.”
Well, Stan certainly didn’t need any second urging to do that. As he walked outside, to give her fair warning, he called out and asked, “It’s a beautiful day, isn’t it?” It sounded banal to him too.
But now that he realized she was staying, and he had another chance to try to forge those bonds that he had let weaken, he felt his nervousness taking over. She twisted and winced. He raced forward. “Good God. I didn’t think. Don’t turn. Don’t try to do anything.”
She laughed at him. “It’s my fault. If anybody should have remembered the pain involved with moving, it’s me. But, of course, I completely forgot.” She gave him an eye roll.
“How did you sleep?”
“Actually I slept really well. Shane gave me something for the muscles, and I have to admit it’s been pretty decent, as soon as I crashed.”
“Now that is good news,” he said, “because you know how important sleep is.”
“I’m not looking forward to today though,” she replied in a low voice.
He sat down beside her, leaned forward, and asked, “Hearing the test results? Having Shane put you on his schedule again?” When she remained quiet, he added, “What’s this hesitancy about? Do you feel you did something wrong?
“Not in one sense,” she said, “I don’t think so, but I’m afraid now I haven’t been doing anything right.”
“And there is a distinction,” he admitted, “but you also know that they care and that they’re here for you.”
“I know. I know. I just … I …” She shrugged, gave him half a smile. “I’m worried.”
“Of course you are,” he agreed, “but you’ll be just fine.”
She smiled. “You always were such a great cheerleader.” He winced at that. “Is that not a good thing?” she asked curiously.
“I don’t know,” he admitted. “I’ve never been called a cheerleader before.”
“Well, it certainly wasn’t meant in a negative way,” she shared quickly.
He chuckled. “Hey, whatever way you want to call me, it’s fine,” he noted. “And I will help you in any way possible. You know that, right?”
She smiled and nodded.
“No, Quinton, I mean it. You need something, then you call me. Will you promise me that?”
She sighed. “If I can’t get help otherwise, I promise I’ll call you.”
“Sneaky lawyer talk is what that is,” Stan teased.
Quinton laughed.
“But I’ve got a pretty packed day downstairs”—and he wagged a finger at her—“which doesn’t mean I can’t help. I may just have to make a call or whatever. But I’ll be by your side whenever you’ll have me. So, on that note, I’m waiting for food to-go now, hoping that today would be one of those days where I get out early. Then I’ll come check up on you.”
“Sorry.” She winced. “I know those days too.”
“Too many of them, from the looks of you.”
She sighed. “And I guess that’s what I’m afraid is going to be the outcome of this.”
“You mean, a career change?”
“I was trying not to say that out loud,” she joked.
“Well, if it’s killing you …”
“I hope it’s not killing me,” she stated, and then she withdrew ever-so-slightly. “But I will deal with whatever the message is.”
“Good.” Stan nodded. “Your health comes first.”
She smiled at him gently. “And you,” she added, “need to look after yourself because you do a vital service too.”
“I do provide for the animals, but I’m often reminded of how very different my service is to them,” he murmured.
“Don’t let it diminish what you do,” she repeated immediately. “For anybody who has a furry family, the job you do is something that none of us can do without. It would be just too heartbreaking to lose the pets we love so much.”
Stan nodded, giving a quick chuckle. “I’m forever bringing in extra animals for people here to interact with. The minute everybody sees them, they fall in love. Now we have more service animals at every turn.”
“And that’s the way it should be,” she agreed. “There’s enough love to go around. We just have to remember that, and our furry friends help us to do that.”
There came a whistle from behind him.
Stan stood and said, “Looks like there’s food.” He frowned. “Can I get you something before I go?”
“Nope, I’m just content to sit. You go. You’re in a rush.” When he hesitated, she smiled. “Remember? I’m here for a bit now. So we can visit later.”
“Great. I’m looking forward to that. Dinner?” he asked, as he backed away. “I don’t know when or if I’ll get time for lunch.”
“Dinner it is,” she replied, with a smile. “Although there might be a few other people joining us. Just because I haven’t seen so many people in such a long time.”
“I got it. Just include me in on the fun.”
“Promise,” she said, and he took off heading to the buffet line.
As he loaded up and picked up an extra sandwich to take down for his lunch, Dennis looked at him and asked, “Another bad day in store for you?”
“You have no idea. I’ll be in surgery for most of it.”
“Well, if that’s the way it is today,” Dennis noted, “make sure you take extra.”
“This is extra,” Stan said, with an eye roll. “If I keep eating like this all the time, I couldn’t even waddle my way back up again from downstairs.”
“Ha. I hear so many people complain about me trying to make them fat.” he replied. “When the truth of the matter is, most of us here are losing weight.”
Stan frowned, as he studied Dennis.
Dennis nodded. “I’ve lost ten pounds.” And he patted his slim, long, and lean build.
“I don’t know how you did that,” Stan noted. “I’m not going close to a scale.” And, with that, and a cheeky grin, he took off running. It would be a long day, and the sooner he got started, the better.
Chapter 4
Later that morning Quinton made her way back to her room, now with a full stomach, and she felt her nerves kicking in. It took about twenty minutes of that same nerve-racking waiting before Shane popped in. She smiled at him.
“Hey,” he asked, “you ready?”
She shook her head. “Nope, absolutely no way I’m ready. But I’m game,” she replied. “So I hope you’ll take that instead.”
He chuckled. “I do remember that attitude,” he noted, “and it is quite refreshing in so many ways. We’ll start with getting those X-rays done and a physical evaluation and all that good stuff first.”
And it took hours.
At least it seemed like hours. No, by the time she checked her watch, she realized it really had been a few hours, and she was exhausted.
Shane slowly wheeled her back to her room. “Now it’s eleven-thirty, grab a nap, and then some lunch.”
“I didn’t want to eat too much at breakfast,” she admitted. “I was worried about pain and all that was on tap for today.”
“It’s never a bad idea to tailor your meal consumption with what your day here looks like,” Shane agreed, “at least to control the food a little bit, in case the stomach revolts.”
“It never really was an issue for me to have a revolting stomach,” she said, “but I sure didn’t want today to be the first day either.”
“Understood.” He nodded. “I’ll be back in a little bit. I’ve got appointments, and I’ll go over all the results from your tests and then probably talk to a few doctors.” He lifted a hand, as he left her room.
“Got it.” She struggled to stand, feeling her good leg trembling. Shane’s physical exam was a workout in itself. He hadn’t worked her too hard; she had pushed too hard. She’d always had a problem understanding when to stop. Today was no different. As she leaned against the bed, she looked at the bathroom, the wheelchair, and then the bathroom again. It would be both easier and more difficult to get there using that chair.
Glancing around, she found her crutches against the visitor’s chair. “Drat,” she whispered. They were just out of reach. But then that seemed to be her life at the moment—everything was just out of reach. Using the bed, she hopped forward, feeling her good leg protesting each movement. Grimacing, she reached the crutches, propped them under her arms, and headed to the bathroom. It was a small triumph.
But she’d take it today. Actually she’d take it any day.
Stan worked through the day, trying hard to stay focused. But inside was this inner light of knowing that he would see Quinton again. Honestly, he felt like a schoolboy again. Which was both unusual and exciting, while completely nauseating. Because the last thing he wanted was for the same insecurities and the same hateful doubts to rise up. And yet, to be honest, had there been anything but doubts over the past many years, would he would have done something about furthering his relationship with Quinton?
And somewhere along the line he’d decided that he probably wasn’t a good match for her or that she wouldn’t want him. And maybe he’d just been so busy that he’d pushed it off and ignored it all. Whatever it was, he had another opportunity to get to know her a little bit better, and he was more than excited about it.
He grabbed his phone, sent her a text at 3:30 p.m., letting her know that he had another hour, if she was still okay to wait on him for dinner. He got a response back almost immediately.
I’m resting but missed lunch, so the earlier, the better, but okay to wait a bit.
He sent back an immediate response, setting it up for five o’clock. He hated that she’d missed lunch. Was it because she was exhausted from the testing? He didn’t know, but he knew that Dennis wouldn’t have been very happy with her either. She would likely get a mouthful from him when she finally got to the dining room. But maybe not.
Stan pondered it throughout the rest of the afternoon, and, by the time five o’clock rolled around, he was out of the office faster than he had been all week.
His assistant grinned at him. “Got somewhere special to go tonight?” she teased.
He winced. “Is it that obvious?”
“Absolutely.” She laughed. “And I’m so happy for you.”
“Ah, don’t,” he replied. “I’ve known Quinton for years, since she was first here. It’s just …” He shrugged. “I was so busy, and she was so busy that it didn’t seem like it would work out or was the right time, or I don’t know. I’ve been trying to figure out exactly why I thought that I needed to wait back then.”
She smiled. “Sometimes things have to happen in their own time frame.”
“I agree with that completely. Right now especially. And, while I hate it that she’s in pain and back here again to deal with health issues, I’m delighted that she’s close by. So we’re going to have dinner together,” he shared, a boyish grin on his face. And, with that, he dashed out the door.
“Good luck.”
He just raised a hand. Everybody knew that he didn’t date much since starting this clinic, and he spent all his time with the animals. He really needed more help. Thank God that Aaron would be here eventually. So many people had asked Stan several times if he needed to find a life without the animals. The answer had always been: Nope, not going to happen.
But, as he raced toward his dinner date, he could just hope that Quinton felt well enough to keep their dinner plans. And he’d have to be gracious and understanding if she didn’t. He could even arrange picnics in her room, if needed. That would go down well for him too. Feeling like an idiot and unable to stop these thoughts, he tried to slow down his speed when he got closer to her room.
Sure, he couldn’t stop helping the animals, being a veterinarian. Yet he would like to have a worthwhile personal life too.
He knocked gently on her closed door, and, when he heard her call out from inside, he turned the knob and stepped in. She was alone, which was another good thing.
Her face broke into a small smile. “Hey there, stranger,” she said gently. “I’m glad you’re here. I’m starting to fade away to nothing.”
“And I tried to get here so fast,” he replied apologetically.
“No, I understand, and believe me. The animals come first down there.”
“And yet they can’t all the time,” he added. “We have to look after ourselves as much as we have to look after them.” He pushed the wheelchair closer to her. “Shall we?” She nodded. He stepped over and gave her an arm. She slowly pulled herself up, and he watched the pain whisper across her face. “I’m sorry,” he murmured. “It looks like you had a tough day.”
“Somewhat,” she admitted, with a sigh of relief as she settled into the chair, “but I’m determined to make it down for food. I’m definitely on the hungry side.”
“I’m sorry you missed out on lunch too. How did that happen?”
“Because I fell asleep,” she confessed. “And, when I woke up, I didn’t feel well enough to go down and ask for food.”
“You’re going to have to get over that independent streak of yours pretty fast too. Next time call me,” he protested, staring at her. “Remember. This place isn’t just for new patients but for our friends who have further needs.”
“I thought I’d left as a success story,” she murmured. “It’s kind of hard to realize that you aren’t the success you thought you were.”
“Absolutely you are,” he stated firmly. “Don’t even start down that road of a self-defeating attitude.”
She burst out laughing. “Is that what I’m doing?” she asked in a teasing voice.
He grinned at the sound of her laughter, nodded, and added, “Definitely. And I understand. I really do. Some of this stuff is pretty darn hard to deal with. But other times it’s much easier, so hold on. And we’ll get through some of the tough times, and then it’ll be easier after that. I’m here for you, Quinton. I mean it. Truly.”
“Have you ever had a crippling physical injury?” she asked him curiously. He looked at her in surprise. She shrugged. “You’ve always been so very understanding.”
“I think that’s because I work with animals that are constantly dealing with physical injuries, which are really hard on them too,” he suggested. “The worst thing is when they give up. There’s almost nothing I can do to bring them back once they’ve chosen that route. It’s as if they have this mental checkout. And they’re gone. I can do all in my power, but I can’t bring them back, nor can I get them to change that attitude,” he admitted. “That’s when it’s really hard—when it’s something that you can fix, but you caught them just a little too late.”
“Well, I’m not even close to giving up, and I’m not even close to checking out,” she declared. “So you don’t have to worry about that part with me. I’m happy to have some help to get back on my feet and to be fully functioning, though.”
“You got it. Whatever you want, whatever you need, you just have to tell me. Okay?”
She tilted her head, smiling at him.
“I mean it, Quinton,” he said, harsher this time. “You help others so much, and now it’s time for some of that to be doled out to you. I want to help you through this. Now did you contact your office?” he asked, as he pushed her wheelchair from her room.
She nodded. “I’ve canceled my appointments for the next few days, and my assistant is trying to reschedule them all or see if someone else can appear in my stead. Any future appointments are going to be pushed off maybe a month, if I can get the clients to agree. My office sent me a bunch of work to do from here, which I may or may not do,” she admitted, with an eye roll.
