Bauer, page 15
“I do trust you, and, yeah, you’re right. That is a surprise.” She frowned, taking a bite of her sandwich. “It’s kind of a big one.”
“I like it. I like it a lot.”
“I get that, but then I’m just a little worried that I’m out here in left field, not really understanding what’s happening.”
“You understand exactly what’s happening,” he said, a twinkle in his eye. “And, if you would relax a little more, we could definitely take it a step further.”
At that, she raised an eyebrow, then stared at him.
“Yeah, I know. I promised not to push.” Then he laughed. “Apparently, when it comes to you, I have very little self-control.”
She kind of liked that reply, and she could tell from his reaction that he had seen it too.
“See? You’ve come a long way.” He chuckled, giving her a knowing look.
She shrugged. “I don’t know about that, but it still feels as though there’s a long way to go.” And she meant it.
Just enough seriousness was in her tone that he understood that too. “No pressure,” he reminded her gently. “Really.”
“Says you,” she muttered. “So, what’s on the agenda for the rest of today?”
“I’m not sure. What do you need to get done?”
“I put laundry on because that needed to be done. My bedding is in the dryer because that was needed. I’m just thinking about all the other things that might need to get done today. I do have a bunch of bookkeeping to do that I normally do on weekends.”
“You should definitely try to work that into your weekday routine,” he suggested.
“I know I should, but it’s never really been an issue before. There’s a lot of stuff that I could probably shuffle around a little bit.”
“You could also hire a bookkeeper.”
“At the moment, when I’m still expanding and trying to do as much charity work as I can,” she shared in exasperation, “paying somebody to do something I can do myself doesn’t sit very well.”
“Sure, but, then again, you’re the most highly skilled person in the clinic, until you get a second veterinarian or even a partner there. Have you ever figured out your hourly rate, even just an average among all that you do there? Compare that to what a bookkeeper might charge you or a cleaning service or a groomer. Then you have a benchmark to help you decide. So, if that is something that somebody else can do—especially if cheaper than your going rate—then it frees you up to do more of the highly skilled work or makes time to focus on other aspects of the business.”
She stared at him over her sandwich. “I never thought of it that way.”
“I think we often forget that, if we aren’t replaceable, we can’t ever get promoted. I get that it’s your own business, but, if you ever want to take time off, you also have to establish some boundaries so you can.”
“That’s another thing I hadn’t gotten to,” she admitted, “because it hasn’t been an issue before.”
“But now it is,” he told her gently, “because we’ll want to spend more time together.”
“What if I want to work?”
“Then I’ll deal with it,” he said, with a shrug. “However, I suspect that, at some point in time, you’ll want to have more time off.”
She nodded. “It’s been something I have started to think about, but, because I didn’t really know what to do with my time off, it’s been easier to just keep working.”
“Got it.” He chuckled, as he reached for part of the last sandwich. “Eat up,” he said.
She shook her head. “Oh no, I’m done.”
“Good. In that case, I’ll be happy to take care of these,” he noted, as he snagged both halves.
She laughed. “I forgot just how much food you can put away.”
“Hey, I’ve seen some women eat some pretty hefty meals too.”
“No, you’re right. I’ve just never been much of an eater. Although, since you’ve come around, it seems like I’m doing a lot more of it.”
“That’s probably because you’re always too tired to cook. And this week, you haven’t gotten much of a chance to get a good night’s sleep. So that definitely needs to be on the agenda, and we do need to go shopping too.”
“Somewhere along the line, groceries need to be bought. I can order in a lot of stuff, and I do that more and more, as I try to preserve some of my own spare time.”
“So, let’s put in an order today,” he suggested, “unless you want to do a trip into town.”
She frowned at that. “I don’t really want to leave the house.”
“Why is that?”
“I just feel like this guy is out there, and our absence gives him a chance to get into the house again. I don’t want to give him opportunities.”
“I don’t know if it makes you feel any better, but we have somebody else out there, keeping an eye on the place now.”
She stared. “Seriously?”
He nodded. “Yeah. One of Badger’s guys is out there. He’s not very happy with something like this happening in their backyard, so they’re all taking turns. It’s a mix of his regular team, some part-time employees, and some volunteers.”
She sat back and stared, looking stunned.
“No, they won’t take your money. You’re not paying them for their time,” Bauer explained. “Believe me. They are very appreciative of all the times they’ve brought animals to you, and you’ve helped them out, so that’s that.”
She shrugged. “I guess that’s what friends are for.”
He smiled. “Exactly. They’re just returning the favor.”
It took her a minute, but she glared at him. “That was a cheap deal.”
“I don’t know about cheap, but it was necessary.”
She continued to frown at him.
“Hey, I’ll just frown right back at you,” he said, “so you do you.”
She sighed. “I’ll thank Badger later.”
“You do that. I’m sure he would appreciate it.”
She nodded. “They’re good people.”
“Very good. And Kat does a ton of volunteer work for people who need prosthetics too.”
She looked down at Toby. “I know. I was kind of wondering how she would feel about doing a dog prosthetic.”
He frowned, then looked down at Toby and asked, “Do you think he’ll need it?”
“No. Dogs can do well on three legs, once they are healed up and adjusted. But it would ease the wear and tear on the rest of his body that must adapt and work differently than it would have. In my opinion, it could give him a longer life, with less pain, and would reduce his fatigue.”
“In that case, we can sure talk to her about it,” Bauer said.
Mags shrugged. “It seems frivolous in a way.”
“Toby is a retired War Dog. He has worked hard, and he deserves an easier life than he’s had. I’m not worried about it being frivolous, and I highly doubt she would call it that either.”
Mags laughed at that comment. “Okay, so when this is over, maybe we can talk to Kat.” She looked down at Toby. “Did you hear that, Toby? We might be able to get you another leg.”
He just looked up at her and gave her a bark.
She smiled. “Considering that this guy is tired and needs some sleep, maybe an afternoon at home would suit us better.”
“Agreed. So for the groceries, let’s place an order. Other than that, let’s just take care of things at home today. Besides, we can always call it a stay-at-home date.”
She rolled her eyes at that. “Seriously? You’re really trying to work a date into everything, aren’t you?”
“I think I’ve done a pretty good job,” he declared, with a big fat smile.
“You have, and it’s kind of surprised me.”
“What? That I’ve managed to work our date into so many conversations?”
“Maybe, and just the fact that I’m no longer quite so paranoid about it all. I thought you’d be the one who was paranoid.”
“Me too, but somehow all of that changed when I saw you.”
Something so quiet and so sincere about his tone had her turning, looking at him, wide-eyed. “Seriously?”
He nodded. “I didn’t expect to feel this way, but honestly I think it’s been building for quite a while. I just hadn’t had the chance or the opportunity to spend time with you. You know? Just see what was there. So, in a way, I’m just as surprised as you are. Maybe I’d developed some habits too.”
“You mean, that habit of keeping people out of our lives?”
He nodded. “Yeah, and it seems that we’re both pretty good at it. Or pretty bad, depending on your point of view.”
“You’re right, but then something like what we’re dealing with right now kind of accelerates everything, doesn’t it?”
“It sure does,” he agreed, with a bright smile. “So once again, look at that. … We’re both on the same page.”
She laughed. “You are nothing if not persistent.”
“I am at that,” he agreed, “but I’m also good people—and so are Badger and Kat and their entire team. I don’t know if you trust them or not, but I sure do.”
“That’s who I called right from the beginning, so, yeah, I trust them. As much as I trust anybody, I mean.”
“Well now, here’s a twist. I’m pretty sure Badger sent me over here hoping that this would happen.”
“Hoping what would happen?” she asked.
“That you and I would find something between us, enough to want to spend time together.”
She stared at him. “What? Are you telling me that Badger and Kat were matchmaking?”
“I won’t go so far as to say that.” Bauer chuckled. “Maybe some serious wishful thinking.”
She thought about it. “I can hardly argue about wishful thinking,” she muttered. “I’ve done plenty of that myself.”
He nodded. “You and me both. Besides, if it’s true, then we owe them a thank you.” She glared at him, after saying that. He frowned. “What? You can hardly argue that point.”
“I can argue plenty of it.”
“Just blowing smoke again,” he said. “Smoke and mirrors, that’s what you’re doing.”
She sighed. “Oh, please, I’ll tell you what you can do with your smoke and mirrors, mister.”
“Am I wrong?”
“Okay, fine. But we’re not telling them anything, not until we figure this out ourselves.”
“No, absolutely not. We’re not telling them until we figure it out, and that’s final.” He had to laugh. “I don’t know about you, but I wouldn’t have a clue what to tell them.”
At that, she nodded. “Exactly. I’m still not sure what it even is.”
“Do we have to label it or define it somehow?” he asked. “We want to spend time together, and we have done that quite nicely this last week. I don’t really think we have to do more than that, except spend more time together and see where it goes.”
“I mean, I know where I want it to go,” she muttered, looking at him, “probably for the first time. I’m just not sure that I’m quite ready for it.”
“No time like the present. If you feel like filling me in on where you want to go with this or to take this, I’m all ears.”
She looked over at him and gave him a big fat smile. “It depends how you feel about exercise.”
His eyebrows shot up. “Exercise?” he asked cautiously.
She nodded. “You know, like something to do this afternoon.”
He slowly shook his head. “Okay, I’m dense apparently, so you’ll have to be a whole lot more specific.”
She burst out laughing. “Oh, I don’t think so. Just because I haven’t put a whole lot of trust and effort into long-term committed relationships, that doesn’t mean I don’t have some experience with shorter-term relationships.” His eyes widened, and she went a bit red in the face. “Unless of course you’re not interested.”
He just stared at her, as if he didn’t know what to say.
Then she started to laugh. “I’m not sure, but I think I might have surprised you for a change.”
“If you’re saying what I think you’re saying, you definitely have, but believe me. I am more than up for the challenge.”
She looked at him and smiled but cautioned him, “I don’t necessarily want this to become something else.”
“It already is something else,” he declared. “So, if this is your way of making it just temporary, then the answer is no.” He faced her, making sure she heard him and really saw him too. “I get that I was kind of pushing to get you to this point, but I really want more.”
She sat back and stared. “Seriously?”
He nodded. “Yeah, seriously. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but, if that’s what you’re looking for, I mean, any other time I would be more than happy to oblige. … However, right now, I’m more interested in the whole enchilada.”
She sat here, stunned.
He grinned, then got up and leaned over and kissed her hard. “Coffee?”
Bauer couldn’t believe he’d refused her offer, but that was truthfully what he wanted. He didn’t want Mags to treat this as a casual relationship, an affair to be tossed off afterward. He wanted her to take it seriously. He wanted her to take them seriously. She’d come a long way, but it was not hard to see that she was comfortable with an affair, yet not comfortable with a commitment. He understood it because he’d been there himself.
At the same time, that wasn’t where he wanted to be anymore. Not with her. He knew the shrinks would have a heyday, if he ever sat down and tried to discuss it, but it was true, and he was fighting not only for himself but for them. For what they could be together. That alone made it completely worthwhile.
As the afternoon wore on, she slowly relaxed again, and he could see her letting go of some of the tension. She was relaxed, and some of that wariness in her eyes had eased back, but he still caught her looking at him sideways, as if trying to figure him out.
“I knew it wouldn’t be that easy.”
“Yes, and I meant it.” She glared at him, but he shrugged. “Hey, you’re worth it.” Her eyebrows shot up. “We’re worth it,” he clarified. “You just need to trust a little bit more.”
She shook her head. “This is just a game to you.”
“No way, no games,” he declared. “When I want something, I go after it. Is that wrong? I don’t think so. I think it’s very important that we know exactly where we stand with each other.”
“I don’t have a clue where I stand with you,” she replied.
He looked over at her and gave her the tenderest smile he could manage. “Yes, you absolutely do. You just don’t know what to do with it.” With that, he added, “Listen. I’ll sit down and go over some of this information that I’ve gotten from Badger and see if I can come up with something to go with from here. This waiting around is very irritating.”
“Ya think?” she quipped, with half a snort.
Then she groaned, as he laughed at her. “It’ll be fine,” he said.
“I’m glad you think so,” she muttered. Then she got up and switched over the laundry, while he kept half an eye on her. When she was done with that, she sat down, still restless.
“You seem to need something to take your mind off all that’s going on.”
She glared at him. “I thought I had a good idea earlier.”
He flashed a brilliant grin. “Yep, you sure did,” he agreed. “I just need it to come with a little more than a five-minute quick-and-easy roll in the hay.”
“You’re that fast?” she asked, almost in a mocking tone.
“Hey, I can be as fast or as slow as you want,” he stated. “I just want the end result to be the same.”
And, with that, she glared at him and flounced off to her bedroom.
He slowly closed his eyes and sent up a silent prayer to whoever might be listening because, man, oh man, he would need all the help he could get. There was nothing he wanted more than to join her on that huge bed of hers and spend an afternoon enjoying just being together.
A part of him was torn; another part of him understood that it would only be the right thing to do if he wanted something short-term. But he didn’t, and the longer he was with her, the more he realized just how much she meant to him and how much he really did want the whole enchilada. He couldn’t let her toss this off as a casual affair just because she was afraid. He could see that, in her mind, it was an acceptable alternative right now.
Still, he wanted more, and a temporary fling wasn’t worth walking away from a chance at something that could be so much better. He just needed to convince her that this was what she wanted too. He could see her wondering about it, contemplating the process in her mind, trying to figure out what to do and how to take his counteroffer.
He didn’t want to be too difficult or to make things too complicated. He didn’t want her to get confused and be upset about it, but he certainly didn’t want her to think of him as a casual affair either. He was more than happy to have an afternoon of fun with her, but he didn’t want that to be all it was.
As he dialed Badger, he thought about how strange and crazy his world had become. “Hey, you got any news on who this gunman might be?”
“No, not yet,” Badger said. “I’m getting stonewalled. It’s getting much harder to find somebody these days for some reason.”
“We’re looking for anybody who was medically discharged or discharged for poor conduct. Anything along those lines, particularly somebody with canine experience.”
“You think he was a handler?” Badger asked in shock.
“I’m not sure what I think at this point. I’m not sure if he was a handler himself or if he was connected to somebody who might have been a handler. What I can tell you for certain is that he feels very strongly that this War Dog doesn’t have the right to live, and he’ll take extreme measures to make sure he doesn’t live much longer.”
“Which is fascinating in itself,” Badger murmured, “but it’s just not helpful in trying to track down this asshole.”
“What about the cops’ investigation to date, and what about the one guy in the hospital?”
