Seer and the Shield, page 10
Flavors burst on Jael’s tongue when she took her first bite. She tried the plantains that she usually transferred to Alyssa’s plate because they were one of her mate’s favorites. She closed her eyes as she rolled the sweetness over her tongue and then savored the next bite of her lunch and the next. Jael was surprised moments later that her formerly full plate was suddenly empty. “This is so good.” Why hadn’t food tasted this good before? She eyed the serving platter, and Han pushed it toward her.
“Eat. You need to put some muscle onto that body you’ve inherited,” he said.
Alyssa discreetly moved the platter with a few plantains remaining out of Jael’s reach, and Michael looked a bit amused at her speed eating.
Jael had never been one to rave over food. She would have lived off pro-chow protein pellets if Second, uh, Danielle hadn’t cooked for both of them most of the time. Jael looked up at Michael. He was vegan, so she couldn’t picture him preparing a chicken dish. “Did you cook this?”
Michael shook his head. “No. You know I won’t touch meat. Diego was the chef. Pretty good?”
Jael frowned. “I’ve eaten his cooking before, and it wasn’t this good.” She felt Han studying her as she took another bite and chewed slowly, staring at the small amount remaining of her second plate of food. She snapped her eyes up to his, and he tilted his head.
“You’ve discovered something.”
Jael swallowed and sat back in her chair. Alyssa gripped and squeezed Jael’s thigh in a move to comfort rather than arouse. Jael dropped her fork and raised her glass to take a large swallow. “Everything tastes different.”
“How does it taste different?” Han asked.
Jael stared at her plate a few long seconds as she considered his question, then looked up to hold Han’s gaze. “I think I know why Danielle insisted on fresh vegetables and meat, and liked to cook elaborate meals.” She took another bite and rolled the food over her tongue before chewing and swallowing. “She might have been cloned from my DNA, and I knew her feet were slightly bigger, her eyes a different color, but it never dawned on either of us that her taste buds were so much more developed than mine. I’ve never experienced such nuanced flavors before.”
Alyssa chuckled. “That explains why you seemed to consider food a necessity rather than a delight.”
Jael nodded as she scooped up the last bite on her plate. “I don’t understand how she stayed so slim with a palate so developed. It’ll take a long workout to burn off everything I’ve eaten.” She aimed her fork at the last plantain Alyssa was guarding.
“Carbohydrates. You’ve just eaten a lot of carbohydrates,” Michael explained, as Alyssa blocked Jael’s advancing fork with her own utensil. “Danielle was an avid runner, which burned those carbs off before they converted into fat. That’s how she stayed so slim. You ate a lot of protein, and your workout consisted of at least fifty percent strengthening exercises. That’s why you were more muscular.” He began to remove the empty platters and plates from the table.
Jael withdrew her fork and frowned at Alyssa nervously tugging on her earlobe—a sure sign her reflective mate was working through serious thoughts. She waited while Alyssa halved the last plantain and absently forked the slightly larger half onto Jael’s plate. She shoved her half into her mouth and chewed, so Jael did the same and waited for her to speak.
“I don’t know why these glimpses of Danielle keep surprising me.” Alyssa put her fork down to touch Jael’s chin. “The small scar on your chin is gone.” She traced the brow over Jael’s right eye. “Danielle’s scar is still here.” She ran her hand over Jael’s shoulder and down her arm. “You have at least thirty pounds less muscle now.” Then she cupped Jael’s jaw. “Yet at some point in the scant day since you returned to me, I quit seeing Danielle when I look at you. I see my soul bond, my mate. So, it does surprise me when you make a sarcastic remark or comical gesture that is clearly Danielle, not my Jael.”
Jael was unsure how to react. Was this transformation disturbing Alyssa? She certainly felt off-kilter now that she was confronted with what she’d been trying to ignore. She wasn’t totally herself. Jael looked to Han, who had been quietly listening, and confessed her greatest fear. “I can’t hear anyone but Alyssa, and no one except Alyssa hears me. The silence in my head feels like a prison.”
Han studied her for a long moment before he spoke. “Your fear that you are no longer telepathic is unfounded.”
“How can you know that?” Jael pushed her chair back and stood. She needed to move, to pace as she thought. Alyssa’s hand touched hers, and a projected wave of calm stopped her. She sank back into her chair and enveloped Alyssa’s hand in both of hers, entwining their fingers. Thank you. The brief tightening of Alyssa’s fingers around hers confirmed the mental message had been received. She raised her eyes to Han again, and he signaled for Michael to sit with them and leave the cleanup for later.
“I know that your telepathic ability is intact and as strong as ever. Earlier, you were broadcasting so loudly even I was having difficulty shielding you out. The kata you witnessed was an exercise to focus my mind and deflect your private thoughts.” He tilted his head as his gaze shifted to Alyssa. “The First Advocate’s ardor for her soul bond as well.”
“Oh, stars.” Alyssa’s face reddened as she ducked her head and covered her eyes with her free hand.
Han smiled at her obvious embarrassment. “Your gift of projection is growing very strong, Aly-san. We should discuss soon some exercises you should practice to ensure your control grows along with it.”
Jael chuckled at her lover’s mortification and the old man’s endearment Alyssa had confided that Han used to comfort her at the unfamiliar temple after her parents left her, a terrified child, and never returned. She freed one of her hands to rub comforting circles between Alyssa’s shoulder blades and glanced over at Michael. His mismatched blue and green eyes flicked between her and Han and back again. “What is it, Michael?”
His ears reddened, and he cleared his throat. “Forgive me, but I, too, could feel your projected emotions.” He met and held Jael’s gaze. “But if you were broadcasting, I didn’t hear it.”
Han nodded. “Now that Danielle has reunited with Saran in the ethereal, I am free to reveal something she asked me to hold in confidence until her physical death.” He tapped his finger against his temple. “I was the only physical entity who could hear her thoughts without her intentionally opening to me.”
Jael dropped her fork and released Alyssa’s hand to shove back from the table. “You’re telling me that I’m stuck with Danielle’s thick skull? I’m not First Warrior just because I’m the strongest pyro and the best at battle strategy. My telepathic abilities make me the communications touchstone. I need to hear when one of The Guard is calling me. They need to hear me when we are in battle.” She sprang to her feet, paced across the room, and threw her hands up as she turned to stalk back. “I need to be in contact with the hostages on that airplane right now so we can pinpoint their location and estimate their destination.” She frowned when she realized they were smiling. “What?” She didn’t even try to keep the irritation from her voice. Didn’t they understand the seriousness of this situation?
Alyssa stood, and Jael crossed her arms over her chest in a useless attempt to block the flood of affection that preceded her approach. “Honey, we do understand. It’s just…well—”
“Your impatient reaction was so Jael-like.” Michael’s smile broadened into a grin. “We’re so very glad to have you back.”
Jael opened her arms, and Alyssa stepped into her embrace. Michael’s smile faded. The somewhat public show of affection was unusual for Jael but would have been normal for Danielle. Jael held his gaze but tightened her arms around Alyssa. “This is still me, Michael. If Saran hadn’t helped me strike a deal with The Collective Council to return, I could have never been able to hold my bonded mate in my arms again. She has many more lives to live, yet I had lived my last. I don’t plan to waste this second chance.”
Michael nodded. He understood now why Han had requested that he join their meeting. He looked to the slight man who had been sensei to each of them early in this life or—in Jael’s case—many lifetimes past. Han nodded for Michael to proceed.
“Tan is anxious to run some medical scans to compare to a previous scan of Danielle’s physiology. She wants to see if anything has changed since your consciousness inhabited her body. Tan also wants a series of scans at timed intervals to see if your body is still changing.”
Jael nodded. “The only time I feel like myself is when I’m with Alyssa. Otherwise, I feel like two people trying to inhabit one body.” She paused and blinked at him. Her next words were soft and reverent. “You know something about that, don’t you?”
Michael dipped his head in a slight bow to confirm her realization of the similarities of their conditions. Born third gender, he was literally two genders in one body with ambiguous genitalia. Even in this enlightened age of acceptance, the rarity of his kind made most people uncomfortable. He turned to the entrance of the cabin, easily recalling his nervousness as the tall, muscular, blond warrior woman had probed his mind, then asked him to identify himself.
“Do you remember the day I first came to you?” He looked back to Jael, who nodded. “You knew Han had sent me and had already probed my mind to review my thoughts and memories. Still, you asked me who I was.”
Jael smiled. “I saw during my probe that your confusion was your biggest obstacle.”
“Yes, it was. But you showed me a goal—the chance for a place among The Guard—and told me that dragon-horse warriors know who they are.”
Jael let go of Alyssa and returned to the table. She sat across from him, turning her chair around to rest her forearms on the crown of its back. “My situation isn’t the same. I know who I am.”
“I’d always known, too, but no one before you had ever asked me to claim it. Becoming a warrior gave me a goal, but I still had to come to terms with my dual body.” He pointed at her. “You have to come to terms with this body and make it yours.”
Jael studied him, but he didn’t look away. When she finally spoke, her words were measured and full of admiration. “You’ve come a long way since that timid young man slouched his way through my door a handful of years ago.”
“I’ve had excellent teachers.” He smiled as he remembered waking that morning with his boyfriend softly snoring against his back. He glanced over at Alyssa, who Michael knew had coached Will on how to win him over. “And letting Will into my life has let me finally accept that my existence is not a botched incarnation.”
Jael stared at him for a few seconds, then stood again, her jaw set in grim determination as she turned to Han. “So, first order of business is how to get around Danielle’s thick skull.”
Alyssa interrupted. “Hold up before you get started. Michael, did you bring a med-scan with you?”
“I did.” He rummaged in his backpack to find it.
“Honey, give us two minutes to record a scan. Then you and Han might want to go into your office or out on the porch for some place quiet to work while Michael and I clean up the lunch dishes.”
Jael nodded and stood tall with arms held slightly out from her sides as Michael began the scan at her feet and traveled slowly upward.
* * *
Jael shifted into the shade of the porch, while Han moved into a sunny spot. She mentally admonished herself. As a pyro, she often forgot that other people couldn’t regulate their own body heat. She’d only experienced cold once when she and Danielle were children and had stood outside in a blizzard on a bet to see who could lower their body temperature most for the longest time. Han might seem spry for his age, but she was sure she heard a slight creak in his back and knees occasionally.
“I do have a bit of arthritis,” Han admitted. “But the warm sun helps.”
Jael slammed her shields up tight. “Sorry. The silence fools my mind so much that I unconsciously drop my shields because it seems like nothing coming in means nothing going out.”
Han nodded. “But you haven’t lost your ability to put up shields, because I felt you do it just now.”
“You’re right. I did.”
“Now you must learn to tear down Danielle’s shields when you wish to listen or speak with your mind.”
“How can I lower them when I can’t even feel them the way I feel my shields?”
Han turned his body into the sun and assumed the lotus position, his hands resting palms upon his knees. “Let us begin your first lesson.”
Chapter Eight
Kyle absently scratched the top of Phyrrhos’s withers and chuckled when the mare turned to thrust her butt under Kyle’s hand. “Just like your warrior. Never subtle.”
The dragon horse—currently in normal horse form under the afternoon sun—shook her head and backed another step to bump her rump against Kyle’s chest.
“Okay, okay.” Kyle scraped her blunt nails along the skin around the base of the mare’s tail, and Phyrrhos lifted her nose in the air like a dog enjoying a good scratch.
“You’ve got to stop spoiling her because she’s starting to expect the same treatment from me.”
Pleasure flooded Kyle at the sound of her mate’s voice. Still, she frowned.
“Not glad to see me?” Tan asked. Her tone was casual, not worried.
Kyle sighed. “How did you know I was here?”
“That is my dragon horse you’re servicing. I called for her because I needed a ride to go look for you. But I got a clear picture back, indicating she was busy right now because you were scratching all her itchy spots.”
“I came up to see Sunfire, but she’s wandered off somewhere.”
Tan turned in a semicircle to scan the high meadow carved into the side of the mountain. A cave on the mountain’s face provided shelter during inclement weather, but only a thin line of scrubby trees ringed the other three sides before sloping sharply down from the meadow’s edge. You’d practically have to be a mountain goat to reach the meadow on foot, so it made the perfect daytime pasture for the dragon horses while they were wingless. “Wasn’t she here this morning? Doesn’t she respond when you call her?”
“I think she was. But…” Kyle stared at her feet.
Tan’s palm, rough and thick like those of all pyros, cupped Kyle’s cheek. “What is it, babe? I thought we said no more secrets between us.”
Kyle’s frown deepened. “You didn’t tell me about Jael’s problem.”
Tan kissed her gently, then drew back. Kyle stared at her feet as Tan’s fingers tightened around the nape of Kyle’s neck. “Look at me.”
Kyle raised her eyes to meet Tan’s gaze.
“I’m a physician, Kyle. That means I won’t tell you things because of doctor-patient privacy. I hadn’t checked my d-messages until this morning and found one from Alyssa giving me permission to share that information with The Guard. We didn’t have a chance to talk before the lunch meeting. That’s the only reason I hadn’t told you before I informed the others.”
Kyle gathered Tan in her arms and buried her face in Tan’s neck. She inhaled Tan’s unique scent of shea butter and musk. Stars, she loved this woman. Tan was her anchor, her strength. A niggling premonition told her she’d need that more than ever in the coming weeks. “Sorry. I’m just feeling a little…conflicted right now.”
Tan kissed her again, lingering as their lips brushed together. “Let me help you think this through, then.” She turned and drew Kyle’s long arms around her. Tan wasn’t short, but Kyle was about ten centimeters taller. They often assumed this emotionally and physically comfortable position for personal talks. Kyle liked to rub her cheek against the soft curls of Tan’s mohawk, and Tan would absently trail her fingernails back and forth on Kyle’s forearms. “Let’s start with why you don’t know where Sunfire has gone.” Tan held on to the arms wrapped around her when Kyle started to pull away. “No secrets.”
Kyle relaxed after a few seconds and confessed. “I’m not sure we’re fully bonded.”
“No? But you communicated with her while she was still in the womb.”
Kyle tensed again at Tan’s snapped response, then brushed her cheek along Tan’s mohawk to calm herself. They hadn’t had time to discuss her relationship to Sunfire while Phyrrhos still carried the unborn foal, but Kyle suspected some unresolved feelings remained from the pregnant Phyrrhos being partially drawn to Kyle rather than focusing solely on Tan, her bonded warrior.
Tan responded with an affectionate stroke along Kyle’s arm. “Tell me why you aren’t sure.”
“Well, it’s like she stalks me. She shows up here and there, following me. I see her flying around at night overhead and trotting behind me during the day, but she won’t come close enough to touch. I still get mental pictures from her, but no indication that she hears what I try to send back.”
“So, you haven’t been able to catch her at dusk for a proper bonding?”
Kyle shivered as Tan grasped her hand and tickled her nails against the thick calluses of Kyle’s palm. Only another pyro would know that would send a bolt of current straight to her clit. “No. Sunfire’s never here. She must be part mountain goat.” She dropped light kisses across Tan’s newly shaved skull, behind her ear, and along the side of her neck. Two could play this game.
“Okay. It’s hours until dusk, so I know that’s not why you’re here now. Let’s talk about the other reason.”
Kyle stopped her kisses, resting her forehead on Tan’s shoulder. The jerk to reality was as effective as a cold shower. Tan not only was her confidante, but the very person who deserved a heads-up. “Furcho’s falling apart. I’ve known him all my life, but I don’t know the man he’s becoming since Nicole was abducted.”
“I agree.” Tan gently extracted herself from Kyle’s embrace and took her hand to lead her to the edge of the meadow. They sat in the grass, half facing each other and half looking out over the herd.
