Metamorphosis, page 11
When he got back up to his apartment, the answering machine was flashing. It was Jeff. “Worried about you, buddy,” he said. “Call me.”
Ciel picked up the phone. Jeff offered to come over with a movie, and Ciel gratefully accepted. He didn’t want to be alone tonight. While he was waiting for Jeff, he picked up the phone and began to dial Amanda. He listened to the phone ring once, then put it down. Maybe it was nothing. Maybe he was blowing this way out of proportion. He’d wait a while, and if that nut bothered him again, he’d call and warn Scott to be careful.
* * * *
Amanda regretted not pinning her hair up. By the time they reached the restaurant, her hair was a mess.
When Liam came around and opened the car door for her, she was fussing with it in front of the little mirror attached to her purse.
“You look beautiful,” he said, leaning down closer to her.
“I forgot that you drive a convertible.”
“I should have put the top up.”
“It’s okay. It was nice.”
He offered his hand. She took it and smiled as she got out of the car in her navy tailored suit. It was a cool night, and she didn’t feel like wearing a dress. Pinstripes were all the rage, and she paired the suit with a pale yellow sequined sweater. It set off her reddish blond hair nicely.
Liam was dressed in a beautiful navy Armani suit. He wore an open-necked satiny black shirt underneath. He took her breath away. He was just too damned handsome.
They were seated immediately in an intimate corner table. Liam ordered wine, and they were handed the menus. “How did you know this was my favorite place?” Amanda smiled at him, running her finger over the fancy raised letters on the menu in her hand.
“I didn’t. I like this place also. They have fabulous seafood.”
“I love seafood.”
“Are you in the mood for lobster?” He glanced at the menu.
She shook her head. “No. I think I’m going to have a combination, a seafood platter. It’s a lot of food, but I’m hungry.”
“Good. I love a woman with a fierce appetite.” He met her gaze.
She looked around the room unnecessarily. He had a way of unnerving her, taking her by surprise. She didn’t feel as in control as normal. “Sometimes I think you’re looking into my soul,” she said softly, then laughed. It was a silly thing to say.
“Really?” His voice was soft and low. He sipped his wine. “Now, why would you think that?”
“You’re very insightful, aren’t you?”
“I’ve had to be.”
“Because of what you do.”
“Yes. In part.”
There was a light shining in those green eyes of his tonight, a slight smile on his wine-kissed lips. He had that perfect shadow on his jaw that Scott was always trying to achieve. “You know,” she said softly, “Scott always tried to get that shadow thing going. It was especially frustrating to him when I brought Ciel from Paris, because he had it down pat, just like you.”
“Do you like it?”
“Yes, very much,” she said. “It’s very male, very … ah … sexy.”
He smiled. “Tell me about Ciel.”
She shrugged, sitting back in her seat, taking a swallow of her wine. “I went on a quest for the most beautiful man and found him in Europe. He was for Scott.”
“He was for you,” he said softly.
“Well, no. He was Scott’s gift.”
“Ah, I see.”
“You look skeptical.”
“Do I?”
“Yes. Why would you say he was for me?”
“Because you enjoy collecting pretty men.”
She laughed. “I don’t collect men.”
“You don’t?”
“I … like beautiful men, of course. That’s natural.”
“Yes, very. I like beautiful men myself, but I don’t personally collect them.”
She decided to change the subject. “I’m not sure I believe that people can be bisexual.”
“Oh? Why’s that?”
“One can experiment, but truly one is one way or another, don’t you think?”
He pursed his lips thoughtfully. “Some people are, yes.”
“You must have a decided preference.”
“A decided preference in bed? No. It depends what mood I’m in. It’s like food, really, some nights, you want to eat chicken, and some nights you want to eat fish, no?”
“I suppose.”
“But I do have a preference where love is concerned. I prefer women. My body, I will give to both and with great pleasure, but my heart … it’s a different thing.”
“Why? Are you telling me you couldn’t fall in love with a man?”
“No. I have been in love with a man, and it’s the reason that my heart is reserved for a woman.”
“I’m sorry. Was it painful?”
“Yes,” he said. “Very. But it was a long time ago. My heart has mended, and we’ve remained good friends. We are like brothers now.”
She caught her breath. Was he talking about Jacques? It wasn’t any of her business. The waiter arrived at that moment, asking if they were ready to order. Amanda opted for her seafood platter, and Liam ordered lobster.
Amanda reached over and poured them both another glass of wine. “How long has it been since you’ve been back to Ireland? Do you still have family there?”
“Yes, brothers and sisters, aunts and uncles, that sort of thing. My mother passed on a few years back.”
“I’m sorry.”
“We weren’t close. I came from a huge family. There were eight of us.”
“Eight children?”
“Yes. Damn Catholics,” he muttered. “No use for birth control. Parish priest controlled your life. My father was a useless drunk, couldn’t hold down a job, and the babies kept coming. My mother worked out, scrubbing floors and the like. Older ones looked after us wee ones.”
“It sounds like you had a tough time of it.”
“We were poor,” he said. “I was one of two boys and in the middle. I found work, mostly illegal stuff. There was money to be made in those days working for disreputable sorts.”
“How did you meet Jacques?”
“It’s a long story,” he said, that accent seeming very pronounced tonight. “Story” came out like storray. It was like music listening to him talk. “You sure you’re up for it?”
“I’d love to hear it.”
“Well, I got into the business of pleasing men when I hit fifteen. I gave the money to me mum to feed the little ones. I met this businessman from Paris. He professed to be in love with me and carted me to France. The business was so much different there, no one gave a damn. Jacques lived in a big old house with his grandmother. She was running a male brothel.”
“His grandmother?” Amanda’s eyes widened. She laughed.
“I’m not fooling you. Anyway, Jacques brought me to meet her.” He laughed. “She was a woman with a dirty mind, I’ll tell you. It was very funny. I started living there, and I liked it. When the old lady died a few years into it, Jacques inherited everything. He took over. I worked for him, and then he got big ideas. He decided to start one up here, with the help of a few very important clients, and I was left to run the house in France. That’s basically the scaled-down version of the story.”
Amanda nodded. “So, what is it you’re looking for, Liam?”
He smiled. “I think I might have found it.” He met her gaze.
Amanda’s heart fluttered in her chest. She jumped a little as the waiter set her plate in front of her, then set Liam’s down as well.
Liam laughed. “He gave you a start, did he?”
She placed a hand to her chest. Breathless. She was breathless.
“Listen, darling,” he said, looking at her. “I don’t want to change your life. I know what kind of woman you are, independent, smart, sure of her own desires. I think we could find a way to make it work together. I want a woman who understands my needs. I need a hard cock once in a while. I need sexual adventures and a woman who can participate in that. I want to fall in love. I want a partner, a best friend, a woman who is my equal and will never let me forget it. I want you, Amanda.”
She froze. She had no idea what to say.
“I have a lot of money. You have a lot of money. Neither one of us has to worry about that as a motive. I want to travel, see the world. I want to plant a rose garden.”
“A … rose garden?” she managed.
He smiled. “Yes. I’ve always wanted to plant roses, import them, exotic, blue and yellow and blood red.”
“You are an unusual man.”
“Yes, and you are my soul mate.”
She looked down at her food. She cleared her throat. “We should eat now.”
He laughed softly. “Yes. Good idea. Bon appétit, Amanda.”
* * * *
“Ciel,” Jeff said, putting the DVD in the player. “You are getting carried away with this stalker guy, really. He’s just a nut job.”
“I know that,” Ciel said. “But sometimes these guys are capable of … Jeff, he took my wallet, got a key to my door, followed Scott to…”
Jeff sat down beside him on the sofa and placed a hand on his shoulder. “It’s nothing. He’s just enamored. Jesus, Ciel, have you looked in the mirror recently? You’re the kind of guy who could make someone go off the deep end.”
Ciel narrowed his black eyes. “Thanks.”
“It’s a compliment.” Jeff ran his gaze over him. “Tall, muscular, fantastic body; those beautiful black eyes; silky, long black hair. You have the face of an angel with the hint of the devil with those whiskers you got going on. Not to mention you’re French. Ciel, you walk down the hallway at the university, and people melt. It’s normal. You tell me the guy is not overly handsome. You gave him the thrill of his life. Can I see the pictures?”
“No,” Ciel said. “They’re photocopies, and I threw them out.”
“How compromising were these … ah…”
“Compromising, okay? Drop it.”
Jeff laughed. The movie began, and Ciel turned his attention to the television. “You know,” Jeff said, “I’m glad it’s over for you and Scott.”
“You had to say it, didn’t you?”
“He wasn’t right for you.”
Ciel sighed.
“He had so much baggage.”
“People come with baggage.”
“He didn’t give you what you needed. He couldn’t.”
Ciel turned his face to Jeff’s. He was looking right at him in a way that Ciel had never seen before. “Jeff,” he began. “What are you…?” Jeff reached out before he had the opportunity to finish the sentence. He grabbed his face between his hands and kissed him hotly.
Ciel struggled away. “What in hell are you doing?”
“What I should have done a long time ago. I love you,” he said softly. “Don’t you know?”
Jesus Christ. Scott was right. He’d told him often how Jeff felt about him, but Ciel had never believed him. Ciel stood up. “Jeff, this is not the time. I’m not ready for this. I just broke up with Scott and…”
“You fucked that creep!” Jeff was also on his feet. “Why didn’t you come to me? Why did you have to fuck a complete stranger?”
“I was drunk. I was in pain. Haven’t you ever done anything you regretted?”
“Yes. I regret not kissing you a long time ago. I should have thrown myself in the ring, tried to take you away from Scott.”
“It wouldn’t have worked. I loved…” he paused. “I love Scott,” he breathed. “I probably always will, even if there are a million reasons why I shouldn’t.”
“Let me stay here with you tonight,” Jeff’s eyes went to the bedroom. “Let me hold you. You don’t have to love me.”
“It wouldn’t be fair to you, Jeff.” He shook his head.
“You think I care about fair?” He groaned. “I want you … in my arms … naked in that bed…”
“I think you should leave now. I’ll call you.”
Jeff picked his jacket up off the sofa. He gave Ciel one long look, then left.
Ciel sighed and sank down onto the sofa. He stared at the television. Some guy was kissing another guy on the dance floor. Ciel put his face in his hands. Oh, God, Jeff was in love with him. That was all he needed.
Chapter Ten
Amanda woke up smiling, with Liam, of all things, on her mind. She had enjoyed having dinner with him last night. They had spent three hours at the restaurant, lingering over coffee and dessert, discussing everything from politics to sex. Later they had taken a long walk, enjoying the cool night air. It was almost two in the morning by the time Liam had pulled up in front of her door. She’d been nervous about saying goodnight to him, not sure what to expect or what she would do if he asked to come in. As it turned out, her worry was in vain. He got out of the car and walked her to the door, gave her a chaste little kiss on the forehead, and thanked her for having dinner with him. “Call me,” he said, walking back to his car and getting in. He lifted a hand and drove out of sight.
Amanda had stood outside the door for the longest time, perplexed, slightly disappointed. Sure, she would have turned him down if he’d asked to come in, but she would have liked to be asked. Damn that man. Call me, indeed. He’d be doing the calling if there was any calling to be done.
As the days passed, Amanda decided she wasn’t going to waste time trying to figure out Liam Dunn. She had a lot of preparing to do. Hunter had gone through all the movies she’d suggested and was working his way through the reading list she’d given him … bitching about it all the way. The musicals were “girlie and oh, so gay,” and the classic novels were enough to put him to sleep. “They don’t speak English,” he complained. Amanda just laughed at him and told him to keep at it.
They had started their dance lessons, and Hunter seemed to be getting more frustrated as the lessons went on, but she told herself he was improving.
Scott was struggling. Amanda tried to be supportive, but it was almost impossible to talk to him for at least two days after each of his sessions with the therapist. Sometimes he’d stay in bed until three in the afternoon for days, then suddenly, get up and seem his old self again … until the next session came around. Hunter often went in to sit with him in his room when Scott was in these moods. They didn’t talk. Hunter would bring one of the books he was supposed to be reading and just sit there, by his bedside.
Jacques called to tell her that he had returned. “I’ll send you over some nice young men,” he told her. “Whenever you want. If you have a preference, let me know. Let’s hope you have some, because eventually, I’ll run out.”
She laughed, thanking him. She wanted to ask about Liam. It had been almost three weeks since they’d had dinner, but she was damned if she would. “How was Amsterdam?”
“Wonderful. I may have to go back soon. I’m trying to talk Liam into taking over here in Los Angeles. I may have to be in Amsterdam for an extended period. He’s giving me a hard time about it, determined to retire, as he calls it.”
Amanda swallowed, longing to prolong the conversation, but she didn’t. “Thank you, Jacques, for everything.”
“My pleasure, ma belle.”
“If you leave again, please let me know. Maybe we could have dinner. We keep talking about it, but it never happens.”
“How about here? You can bring Hunter and Scott. It’s always a pleasure to see the ones you stole away from me.”
She laughed. “I’ll consider it.”
“Liam will be here. I’m sure he’d like to see you again.”
“I … yes, we had dinner,” she said, trying to make her voice sound casual. “He was kind enough to come to the house with Hans. Hans is special.”
“Yes he is. I’ll call you next week with a date.”
“Ah, okay.” She didn’t expect it to be that quick. “Well, I have to go. We have dance lessons tonight. Hunter is learning how to waltz.”
“Bonne chance,” he said and rang off.
* * * *
Liam walked into the expensively furnished office just as Jacques was putting the phone down. He was sitting in the huge leather chair at his desk. “You busy?” Liam asked.
“No. What is it?”
“It’s Ramsay. We may be losing him.”
“Really?” Jacques raised an eyebrow.
“To a client. Mayfield, I think.”
“Who told you that, Ramsay or the client?”
“Ramsay.”
“It might be part of his fantasy … a little wishful thinking, n’est pas?” Jacques sat back in his chair and entwined his fingers.
“That’s what I thought at first, except that I just received a call this morning from Mayfield. He says he’ll be by this evening. He wants to discuss something with us.”
Jacques laughed. “Well I’ll be damned. Looks like Ramsay’s dream may be coming true. Be careful what you wish for, eh?”
“Um,” Liam murmured.
Jacques tilted his head slightly. “I was just speaking to Amanda Martindale on the phone, by the way.”
“You were?”
“Yes. She told me you had dinner with her and that you accompanied Hans to an appointment at her house.”
“I did.”
“It’s a little unusual, non?”
“Yes,” Liam said. “It is.”
Jacques held his gaze, then stood up. “I invited her to dinner, along with Hunter and Scott. Maybe Amanda can persuade you to stay on here and take my place while I’m in Amsterdam.”
Liam gave him a rakish smile. “I doubt that, but I’ll look forward to seeing them.”
“Am I going to finally lose you, Liam?”
Liam avoided looking into his eyes. “That happened a long time ago, remember?”
“Um, yes. I remember. It’s difficult to carry on a love affair while living on different continents.”
“It had nothing to do with that.” There was no bitterness in Liam’s voice. The time for bitterness had long since passed. “You are too much like Ramsay, Jacques. That was the problem.”
Jacques quirked an eyebrow. “How so?”
