Things Left Unsaid, page 3
And sometimes when she walked through the grocery store, she marveled at how “okay” she seemed. Other times, she broke down in tears in the produce section.
And every day she wondered if the people getting on about their business—people like Davis, who seemed to navigate life and loss with flying colors—knew how broken she was. She’d make eye contact with a perfect stranger and wonder, Can she see that I’m barely holding it together right now?
But she always forced a smile and moved along. A picture of strength in the midst of loss. How many times had other women come to her and told her she was an inspiration?
“I got through my husband’s affair because of you, Karen,” Marnie Richardson had told her last year. “It was awful, and it ripped my heart out, but I found myself thinking of you and all you’ve been through, and I thought, ‘Well, if Karen can do it, then I can do it too.’ And I instantly felt stronger.”
How would Marnie feel now if she knew the truth? That inside, Karen was falling apart.
“Do you think it’s okay that I’m having this party just a couple of days before the wedding?” Karen heard the worry in her own voice, and she knew what Davis would say. Sometimes she annoyed herself asking questions that didn’t need to be asked so he could give answers that didn’t need to be given.
“I think it’s fine,” Davis said.
Ah, yes. Fine. Her husband’s other favorite word.
“What are you making for dinner?” he asked, eyes still on his paper.
“I thought we’d grill tonight. I picked up chicken breasts from Scooter’s, and I saw you had a little vegetable harvest.”
Even his vegetables didn’t excite him. Not today. Not anymore. He simply nodded and went along with her plan. What if she’d told him they were having shellfish and ice cream—two things he was terribly allergic to—would he have argued with her then?
Or would he simply nod and fetch himself something else to eat?
Or worse, force down the toxic food because it was easier than telling her he didn’t want it?
She wished Tucker would call. He never called. She knew his assistant better than she knew him. In fact, if it wasn’t for Jade, Karen wouldn’t know a thing about her son’s life. Although maybe that would’ve been better. She’d never been comfortable with his thrill-seeking. Snowboarding, skiing, parasailing, rock climbing, bungee jumping, cliff diving—Tucker did it all. Gave her something else to worry about. Something else to keep her up at night.
The phone rang. Rotary and on the wall, the old thing was more of a prop than anything else, but theirs was one of the few cottages that still had a landline.
She glanced at Davis. She supposed she should be thankful the bell had saved her. One more moment of silence might finally be the thing to suffocate her to death.
Chapter Four
The coolness of the ocean water lapped over Tucker Jacobs as he paddled the surfboard a little bit farther—deeper—than last time. He needed to catch one more good wave before he could call it a day. There was something about hauling his gear back to shore on a win.
He reached his stopping point and waited—waited—until it was time to start paddling. With all his might, he pushed his arms through the water until the wave caught up to him, its force lifting him as he pulled himself up on his board.
A shout tore through him, like something spiritual needing release. He balanced himself on the board, wrapping his mind around the way it made him feel. Inhaling the smell of the saltwater, feeling the rise of the wave, relishing the morning sun that promised another new day.
Another do-over.
Another chance.
Even for those who didn’t deserve it.
He rode the wave in toward the shore, wiping out after several glorious seconds of pure adrenaline. If it wasn’t almost eight, he would’ve gone again.
All day long.
He pulled himself out of the Pacific and unzipped his wet suit, tugging the top half down around his waist. The sun felt good on his back, and he fought the urge to lie down in the sand and stay awhile.
But as much as he hated to admit it, he did have adult responsibilities—though most days running an adventure-tour business felt a lot more like play.
Tucker dropped his board on the beach and toweled off, then pulled a worn gray T-shirt over his head. As he peeled the wet suit off, he spotted Jade walking toward him, wearing black dress pants with a frilly white shirt and carrying a pair of high heels in one hand.
Probably thought he forgot his meeting. He supposed that’s why he paid her—to keep him on task—but sometimes it annoyed him that she was so thorough. He hadn’t finished his morning ritual, and Lord knew if he didn’t get a good start, the whole day would take a quick nosedive.
“I didn’t forget,” he said.
She looked at her watch. “Cutting it kind of close, aren’t you?”
He brushed a hand through his hair, a lame attempt to get the sand out. “They’ll appreciate that I’m not just some stuffy suit trying to sell them an adventure tour. I’m living it.”
He picked up his surfboard and positioned it under his arm with Jade on his other side. They walked toward the parking lot where his black Jeep Wrangler was parked, but he could tell his assistant had something to say. Something he wasn’t going to like.
“Just tell me,” Tucker said.
“Your mom left another message.”
He ignored her.
“Tucker?” Jade stopped walking.
“I heard you,” he said, still walking.
“You really should call her back.”
He stopped. “Got it.”
“Well, you should probably know that your parents are staying at their cottage in Michigan right now,” Jade said.
“What? How do you know that?”
“Because when you don’t respond to her messages, your mom calls me.”
Tucker groaned. “I’ll deal with it.”
“Tucker, if your big plan was to swoop in there and not deal with your parents, you’ll have to rethink that.”
“You already changed my flight, Jade. What’s next? Are you planning to manage my lodging too?”
When his assistant first told him about the wedding festivities lasting a full week, he’d shaken his head. He owned a business. He had to work. He’d fly in Friday and fly out Sunday. That was all he could handle of Sweethaven in June.
“Too late,” she’d told him. “Mrs. Preston’s assistant said it was vital you be there for the whole week, and your mom asked that you arrive a little earlier so you can have some family time first.” Jade had cleared his schedule accordingly.
Family time. Great. Tucker had tried not to groan. “I didn’t agree to this.”
“Well, you are the best man,” she’d said. “You kinda did.”
That was what he got for allowing someone else to handle all of his affairs. He looked at her now and instantly knew there was more.
“What?”
Jade grimaced. “I canceled the hotel.”
He stared at her. “Tell me you’re kidding.”
“I thought I was helping. Your mom said you probably didn’t know the cottage was open and they were staying there, and it would be easier on everyone if you just stayed with them. They have an open room and everything. It sounded important to her, Tucker.”
Easier on everyone?
“I didn’t hire you to manage my personal life, Jade. Some things aren’t your business.” He started off toward the Jeep, knowing the words had been too harsh. And it wasn’t the first time he’d snapped at her. This stupid wedding—this week of all weeks. It had him in knots.
Still, he didn’t apologize.
He loaded up his gear, shook out his wet suit and did his best to dry his trunks. They’d be dry by the time he pulled into the meeting—a huge tech firm wanting to put together a staff retreat. It would mean big business for Adventure Seekers, the business he’d started a few years ago.
Might as well turn his passion into profit, right? Turned out there were lots of people out there who craved the adrenaline rush as much as he did.
It was like an addiction.
“I guess I’ll see you back at the office,” Jade said, her eyes still wounded from his harsh words. She took a few steps in the opposite direction, heading toward her car.
“Jade?”
She turned.
He threw her his wallet. “Go buy something for yourself.”
She caught the wallet, then stared at it for several seconds. “I don’t need anything.”
He shrugged. “Doesn’t matter. There must be something you want. It’s on me.”
She held it up with a slight wave. “Thanks.”
But even Tucker knew buying her off didn’t replace the words he should’ve said.
Then again, his life seemed to be made up of those words, didn’t it?
Chapter Five
Elle Porter stood on a platform in the center of the bridal shop, staring at her reflection in the three-way mirror. Her wedding dress was anything but traditional—an organza and tulle gown with floral appliqués, capped sleeves and a design that revealed the lace shorts and bralette she wore underneath.
“It’s quite modern, isn’t it?” Her soon-to-be mother-in-law, Nora Preston, circled her, scrutinizing every detail.
“It’s the latest trend,” Elle said.
“It hardly flares at all,” Nora said. “How are you supposed to feel like a princess without a tulle skirt on your wedding dress?”
“It feels more elegant than that,” Elle said. “And it has a train.”
“I think it’s stunning.” Robin, the sales associate, winked at Elle. God bless Robin.
“It looks a little snug.” Nora met Elle’s eyes. “Are you bloated?”
Elle ran her hands over her stomach. “I don’t think so.”
“Celia, can we let it out a little right here?” Nora waved a finger toward Elle’s midsection. Elle glanced at herself in the mirror. All she saw was a dress that lay perfectly flat on her torso.
Celia, the short, stout woman Nora had hired as their personal seamstress, frowned. “Here?” She pinched the organza.
“Yes, just a little bit. Give her some room to breathe.”
I can breathe just fine.
“I can try, but we don’t want it too loose,” Celia said, sticking a pin in the dress. “It’ll lose its shape.”
“But we don’t want to accent her love handles either, do we?” Nora flashed a smile highlighted by her perfectly applied lipstick.
Celia didn’t respond. Instead, she gave a tug on Elle’s dress, drawing her attention, then squeezed her arm.
“You get changed, Elle. We’ve got so much to do today to get ready for the big week.” Nora waved and disappeared, followed by Robin.
Celia stood. “What do you think, Miss Porter?”
Elle turned sideways, studying herself in the mirror. “I guess it’s a little tight, maybe?”
Celia followed her gaze to the reflection, the two of them standing side by side, Elle a couple of feet taller up on the bridal platform.
“Maybe I could lose a few pounds before the wedding,” Elle said. “That would be less work for you.”
“Don’t worry about me,” Celia said. “I can handle the work. That’s what I’m getting paid for. The real question is, What do you want for your big day?”
Elle picked up the skirt of her dress and stepped down onto the floor, still a head taller than the seamstress. Nobody had asked her that, in all the months of planning. In fact, it had gotten to the point where Elle stopped allowing herself to have opinions because they didn’t seem to matter. As usual, Nora steered this ship.
The dress was one of the few things about this wedding that was Elle’s, and she’d gotten away with it only because she’d bought it the day after Travis proposed. She’d been eyeing it for weeks on her walk home from work. It had looked so beautiful in the window of the bridal boutique that it pulled her attention every single day until, finally, she went in and tried it on. The employees weren’t happy when they learned she wasn’t actually engaged, but their sideways glances did nothing to dull the feeling she had when she stepped in front of the three-way mirror wearing that dress.
It was as if it was made for her.
A few weeks later, she came back, this time with a ring on her finger and a credit card in her purse. And the dress was hers. Even after months had gone by, she still loved it.
She met Celia’s eyes. “I guess we should do what Nora says. She knows more about these things than I do.”
Celia frowned. “She doesn’t know more about what you want for your wedding day.”
“But she knows about fashion,” Elle said. “Let’s take the dress out.”
“Of course, Miss Porter.” Celia’s eyes dipped low as she nodded in agreement.
Elle swept across the small staging area and pulled the door closed on one of the fitting rooms, letting out a heavy sigh. She just needed to get through this wedding—that was all—and then her life could begin.
Travis’s mom wouldn’t be nearly as involved once they were married and living their own life. She simply wanted to ensure they had the perfect wedding, and Elle should be thankful. After all, her own mother wouldn’t provide that kind of moral support. It was good to have someone who cared, at least.
Elle quickly changed back into the sundress Nora had bought her on their last shopping trip.
“If you’re going to be a Preston, you need to start dressing the part,” Nora had said, handing the cashier her credit card. “You need to always be prepared for one of our parishioners to pop in on you, or to bump into someone from church while you’re out running errands. They can’t see you looking a mess, now can they?” Nora went on about Elle’s generation going out in yoga pants or workout clothes—completely unacceptable.
Elle made a note: Yoga pants for in-home viewing only. She wasn’t sure they were okay even then. Suddenly the thought of being “on” all the time exhausted her.
But Travis was worth it. Of course he was.
She’d loved him for years, though she’d kept that little nugget to herself. Cassie’s crush on Travis was well-documented; so much of their conversation had been dedicated to it. How could Elle admit she, too, had feelings for the cute boy with the bright-hazel eyes and honey-colored hair? Cassie would never have forgiven her, which meant Lyndie wouldn’t have either—and Elle couldn’t risk losing both of them. She didn’t have anyone else.
But after the accident, everything changed. Lyndie left Sweethaven almost immediately, sullen and forlorn, and Elle had to pick up the pieces by herself. On the really sad days, she’d head down to the beach, remembering how it felt when the three of them would sit on the dock for hours without a care in the world.
One day, Travis showed up. He must’ve sensed her sadness, because he seemed intent on cheering her up. Their dockside conversation turned into ice cream at Sweet’s and a kind hug good night, which led to another day spent together and then another.
She hadn’t intended to date him, but she couldn’t deny that she wanted to. Lyndie would be mad when she found out, but what was Elle supposed to do? Put her life on hold? Cassie was gone. Travis and Elle were both still here.
Things between her and Lyndie hadn’t been the same after that. It turned out Cassie was the great equalizer in their friendship, and without her, the other two weren’t all that comfortable together.
Despite that, Elle still considered Lyndie her best friend. How sad was that? They hardly even spoke anymore. And while Lyndie didn’t know everything about Elle, she knew more than anyone else, and she’d never made her feel like anything but a part of the family.
In spite of Elle’s mother. In spite of her upbringing and social status.
If only the Prestons had been so receptive.
Travis and Elle spent nearly every waking moment of the rest of that summer together, and after he went back home to Chicago, they committed to making it work, even long-distance. But months went by, and Travis hadn’t told his parents about the two of them.
“They’re just not cool about girls,” he’d told her. What he should’ve said was “They’re just not cool about certain kinds of girls.” Or even, “They just won’t be cool about you.”
When Nora eventually did find out the following summer, she forbade Travis to continue dating Elle.
Travis didn’t tell her what his mother said, but Elle filled in the blanks over the years. Nora didn’t think Elle was good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, refined enough or Christian enough for her son.
And back then, Travis hadn’t been strong enough to stand up for himself. So, they’d gone their separate ways. Now, after a chance meeting in a Chicago coffee shop over eight years later, here they were—engaged to be married whether Nora Preston liked it or not.
Nobody had said so, but Elle imagined Nora absolutely did not like it.
Travis had given his parents the news by himself, probably protecting Elle from what was likely an unkind reaction. Surely his parents thought he was making a mistake. He and Elle had reconnected only a few months prior, and they’d chosen a wedding date just three months away.
But Travis had insisted. When you know, you know. That’s what he’d told Elle. Then he’d kissed her and said, “And I absolutely know.”
The way he’d looked at her made her stomach somersault the way it had the very first time he’d kissed her. Nobody else had ever had that kind of effect on her.
When you know, you know.
Would Nora ever accept Elle as a daughter? Would Elle ever feel like a part of a family again?
She ran a hand through her long auburn hair, then sat to buckle her sandals around her ankles. Sometimes when she spent time with Nora, she felt like the woman had begrudgingly made an agreement to give Elle a chance. Maybe Nora’s husband, the good and dutiful Pastor Timothy Preston, had pointed out that Nora wasn’t going to change Travis’s mind, so she might as well accept it.
