There is No Light in Darkness (Darkness #1), page 1
There Is No Light in Darkness
NYT Bestselling author
Claire Contreras
There Is No Light in Darkness (Darkness Series, #1)
Claire Contreras
© 2012 Claire Contreras
Cover design by Sarah Hansen of www.OkayCreations.net
Photo credit: Aleshyn Andrei
Edited by Jovana Shirley of Unforeseen Editing
Kerri Williams
Without limiting the rights under copyright reserved above, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise) without the prior written permission of the above author of this book.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, brands, media, and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or have been used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
The author acknowledges the trademarked status and trademark owners of various products referenced in this work of fiction, which have been used without permission. The publication/use of these trademarks is not authorized, associated with, or sponsored by the trademark owners.
Created with Vellum
To the most eloquent writer and avid reader I’ve had the pleasure of knowing.
The person who gave me one of the greatest gifts a dreamer can ask for: the love of reading.
I know that wherever you are, you’re smiling.
I miss you, papi.
“Don’t believe in everything you see.
Because what you want might not be what you need.
Hold your breath, jump with me, and we’ll survive.”
— Phillip Phillips
Tell Me a Story
Contents
Prologue
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
16. Past
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
About the Author
Prologue
Screams coming from downstairs wake me up. I rub my eyes and look at the pink My Little Pony alarm clock my daddy put on my nightstand. It reads: 3:30. I know it’s not afternoon because there is no light shining through my windows. I throw off my covers and run to the door, opening it quietly. I look down the hall and see that mommy and daddy’s bedroom door is open. That’s when I hear the loud noises. Bang. Bang. Bang. Three. That’s how many I hear. I try to make myself scream, but I can’t. I’ve heard that noise before, it’s the noise that happens when my daddy’s gun goes off. That’s the noise that happens before the deer stops blinking.
But there are no deer here.
I run downstairs and pass the pink Happy Birthday banner daddy was putting up for me before bedtime. When I get to the kitchen, I see a man walking to the door carrying someone over his shoulder. The person he’s carrying is wearing my daddy’s PJs, but his head is covered. I gasp loudly when I look at the floor and see my mommy.
“Mommy!” I shriek. “Mommy!” but she doesn’t look up from the pool of red water she’s laying in. The smell makes my tummy ache. I kneel down beside her and start shaking her as I crinkle my nose. I look up when I hear footsteps and see a man that I don’t know. He has one blue eye and one shiny eye. I don’t like him. He’s giving me a mean look. Behind him there’s a boy I’ve seen before. We look at each other for a long time; he looks blurry through my tears, but I can make out his big green eyes. The shiny eyed man yanks him by his arm and leaves. He yells something, but the noise in my ears doesn’t let me hear it. I keep shaking mommy until another man comes in, a nice looking man with yellow hair, like mine, and pretty sky blue eyes. He touches my face lightly as tears stream down his face. “Close your eyes, baby girl,” he whispers. And I do. I open them back up when he pinches my arm. He lifts me in his arms, and I realize he’s taking me away from mommy. “Mommy!” I shout as I try to squirm away, but he hugs me tighter. My eyes are starting to feel heavy. I try to keep them open to search for light, but I know I’ll never find it.
Chapter 1
Present
I open my eyes to the dark and shoot up into a sitting position. My chest is heaving, and my body is dripping in sweat. I put my hands over my heart in hopes of getting it to slow down as I gulp deep breaths in between heavy pants.
I hope I didn’t scream. I hope I didn’t scream.
I listen for footsteps, but the only sounds I hear are coming from the torrential downpour outside my window. I try to get my eyes to focus on my surroundings, but I can only make out the little red numbers illuminated on the black alarm clock on my dresser. 3:30. That number haunts me.
I take a deep breath again and plop my body back down on the bed. I’ve been having the same nightmare for the past twenty-one years. My new therapist prescribed a sleeping pill that’s been helping me sleep dreamlessly. Tonight, it isn’t enough though—not that anything ever will be. If the nightmare was just that—a nightmare—it wouldn’t hurt so much. If I could understand it, maybe it would hurt less—maybe more, who knows. No amount of counseling is ever going to make me feel safe anywhere. I can’t sleep without my bedroom door locked and double-bolted. I can’t go anywhere without a wooden baseball bat in my car and a can of pepper spray in my purse. I don’t feel safe anywhere—not even in my dreams.
A minute later I hear him pounding on my door. This is the issue with having a roommate. I sigh, getting up to open it.
“Are you okay, Cowboy? I heard you scream,” Aubry asks as his concerned blue eyes search my face.
“I’m good, Aub. Go back to sleep; it’s still early,” I reply with a weak smile, hoping that appeases him enough.
He takes a deep breath and runs a hand through his shaggy dirty-blond hair. “I’d feel better if you’d let me stay here. Besides, Cole would kill me if I leave you alone right now.”
I roll my eyes at that. “Aubry, Cole’s in New York, and he’s nobody to kill you over leaving me alone.”
He shakes his head dismissively and pushes past me to step into my room. Aubry and I have been best friends since we met thirteen years ago when I moved into Maggie’s house. She is Aubry’s adoptive mother and my guardian. Both of us attended The University of Chicago, so it was only natural that we would room together. That was seven years ago, and we’ve been living together ever since. He now works for an up-and-coming advertising agency, and I’m a third-year law student at Loyola University.
“Where’s Haley?” I ask as I walk back to bed.
“She left. We broke up. Long story. We’ll talk about it later,” he replies as he looks around my room, probably trying to locate my extra comforter.
I sigh. “Aub, really, I’m fine now. I’ll get a glass of water, and I’ll be fine. Promise.”
He stops and searches my face again before sighing and shaking his head. “Alright, Blake, you know where to find me. If it happens again, though—”
“I know. Here,” I interrupt as I give him the key to my room. He gives me a kiss on the head before closing the door and locking it behind him.
I switch on the television while yawning and stretching my back. I should find reruns of SportsCenter on right now, which is exactly what I need. When I find the channel, I smile at the sight of Cole in his sharp navy suit and tie. I let his smooth voice soothe me as I drift back to sleep. Later, I feel my bed sink and wake with a start. What is Aubry doing? I turn to see Cole grinning widely as he shows me the key I’d given Aubry earlier. After a couple of minutes of staring at him, I realize I’m not dreaming and launch myself at him, sobbing uncontrollably.
“It’s okay, baby. I’m here now. Everything’s okay,” he coos as he caresses my back.
I climb on top of his lap and let him cocoon me in his protective arms.
I hate crying. It makes me feel weak. Unfortunately for him, I only let myself cry in front of Cole. Lately my nightmares have gotten more detailed and my lack of sleep is starting to affect my life. Most days I feel like a walking zombie. I’ve been living on a 5-Hour Energy diet for the past month. I’m not even sure if I’m remembering things or making them up as I go. I feel like my reality and my nightmare are meshing together, and it’s only a matter of time before I drive myself crazy with all of it.
“This one was so real, Cole,” I say in between sobs.
He continues to stroke my hair. He doesn’t have to say anything to me; he’s been dealing with my nightmares for a long time.
“I know, baby. Go to sleep. I’m here now; nobody will hurt you,” Cole says softly into my hair.
It isn’t until I wake up a third time and feel an arm wrapped around my body that I register that Cole’s sleeping with me. I turn sideways in his death grip, so I can watch him sleep for a little while. Watching him sleep is an old favorite pastime of mine. When we were younger, I used to do it all the time if I had trouble going back to sleep.
I study the way his long brown
As if on cue, Aubry barges through my bedroom door. “Russell is here,” he pants, covering his face with his left arm.
I crinkle my eyebrows. “Did you open the door with the key, or did Cole leave it unlocked again?”
Aubry takes a deep breath. “He left it unlocked. Did you hear what I said?” he asks in an annoyed tone.
“Take your arm down,” I say with a laugh. “We’re dressed...well, I am anyway. I’m not sure how Cole looks under these sheets.”
“Well, like I said, Russell is here. I haven’t let him in yet but I don’t think he’s going to be happy that there’s a guy in your bed. Actually, I know he’ll be pissed that Cole is in your bed,” Aubry specifies, pointing at Cole’s sleeping form.
I groan. He’s right. My boyfriend will be upset. Russell already has his speculations about Cole, and I don’t want to add fuel to the fire. I’ve never let Russell stay the night, and if he finds Cole in my bed, it’ll be the breaking point of our relationship. The last time Cole was here, he accidentally mentioned that I had the most comfortable bed in the apartment. Russell asked Cole how he would know that, and Cole answered that he slept in it all the time. That turned into a huge fight between Russell and me. I almost broke up with him over it because the last thing I need is somebody telling me what to do—but I need Russell in my life right now.
I sit on my knees and start shoving Cole’s body with both hands. “Cole, you have to get up. Cole, wake up.”
Cole’s lips form a slow smile, showing off the dimple on his right cheek. “Hmm...Blake...”
I look back at Aubry with pleading eyes, but he just stands there laughing and shaking his head. Idiot.
I glare at him. “Aubry, can you go open the door for Russell and entertain him?” I hiss.
He shrugs. “Whatever. Don’t be pissed at me when the British invasion catches you off guard,” he mutters walking back to the living room. I shake my head at his lame words as I continue to shake Cole roughly.
“Cole, wake up!” I say loudly.
His green eyes pop open, and he sits up startled. “What?” he asks confused. “I was just having the best dream.”
I roll my eyes. “Russell is here. You have to get up and go to the guest room...please,” I beg. He narrows his eyes at me for a couple of seconds before muttering a curse and uncovering himself roughly as he stands. He stretches his arms above his head, giving me full view of all of his toned back muscles and that gorgeous firm ass of his that’s covered by tight black boxer briefs. I close my eyes and squeeze my fists together to resist the urge to squeeze it. Damn, it sucks to have to depend on people.
Russell’s stepfather is the Morris in Lewis, Smith, and Morris Law Firm—one of Chicago’s biggest firms. I learned this two years ago, when we first met in law school. I started getting closer to him because of it. We were friends for a while before we became a couple earlier this year. The fact that he’s smart, charming, good looking, and has a sexy-as-hell British accent makes being with him painless. I do like him, though. He’s a fun guy, he’s nice, and he doesn’t annoy me. As long as he doesn’t try to push me to talk about my past, we should be fine for a while. The only people I trust can be counted on one hand. Unfortunately for Russell, my hand only has five fingers, and they’re all taken by a trustworthy person, so he won’t be making the cut.
Cole looks back at me with a smirk on his face, and I know I’ve been caught ogling. I shrug, and he chuckles.
“We can make him leave, you know?” he says huskily with a mischievous twinkle in his eyes. My treacherous heart speeds up, and the butterflies in my stomach awaken.
“No, Cole. We can’t,” I sigh, trying to keep my composure. “Just go over there. I’ll see you later,” I say as I wave him off in the direction of the bathroom. “Thank you for last night.”
I don’t even bother to ask him what he’s doing here. I already know the answer to that. Today is my twenty-fifth birthday. It’s also a day that I do not, under any circumstance celebrate. I don’t accept presents. I don’t accept phone calls. Nothing. My birthday is a reminder of the day everything was taken from me.
It’s a reminder of death.
“Sure thing, baby. I’ll always be here for you,” he says with sad eyes and a grave seriousness in his tone. “Always.”
He walks through the Jack-and-Jill bathroom and to the guest room on the other side before I can say a word. Russell knocks lightly before pushing the door open as I’m getting out of bed. I can feel the color drain from my face. They missed each other by a hair. What is it with these guys barging in my room today?
“Hey, what are you doing here?” I ask with a smile, trying to mask my discomfort.
“It’s your...well, I found out today is your day—the one you don’t like celebrating.”
Hearing his flustered explanation melts away my apprehension for him being here. Bless his soul; he doesn’t want to say the b-word. I think I might actually enjoy him saying the damn word. Everything sounds so nice coming out of his mouth. I blame it on the accent.
“Who told you?” I ask in a small voice.
“Aimee did. I hope you don’t get angry with her,” he replies in a sheepish tone as he shuffles his feet.
I smile at the sight of him as I try to think of ways that I’m going to kick Aimee’s ass. Aimee is one of my good friends in law school. In the beginning, I wanted to get close to her because of her godfather. He’s Mark Lewis from Lewis, Smith, and Morris. He also happens to be my attorney. I can’t shake the feeling that somehow he’s connected to my past, but I’ve never met him. The more I got to know Aimee, the more I liked her, so I eased up on my Inspector Gadget bit and just became friends with her.
I keep telling her that I want to go to her parents’ house, using the excuse that I want to see where the mayor lives. Her father is the mayor of Chicago—something that she hates for people to know. She says she hates going home because she says it’s too depressing. None of those things matter to me; I really want to go to see if I can find any dirt on Mark Lewis.
“It’s fine—as long as you didn’t get me anything. It’s complicated,” I say, not wanting to explain myself.
“It’s okay. I didn’t bring you a present or a cake or anything. I would like to take you to dinner, but not to celebrate today—just to celebrate us. Is that okay?”
I close my eyes. “Russell, that’s still a celebration,” I mumble under my breath.
“You have to eat, Blake. It’s just a meal.”
“I usually don’t eat today,” I reply quietly as I walk to the bathroom to brush my teeth. I do not want to have this conversation right now—or ever. “Can you wait for me in the living room? I’m going to take a quick shower.”
He comes over to me and wraps me in his arms. “Sure, but think about dinner, please,” he pleads before giving me a quick kiss and walking out of my room.
I let out a deep breath once he closes the door behind him. I skip to the door and lock it. I never leave my bedroom door unlocked when I shower. I’m startled when I turn back around and see Cole standing in the doorway between the bathroom and my bedroom.
“What?” I whisper harshly, making my way over.
“Nothing. You locked it,” he smirks as he nods in the direction of the door.
“I always do, but you already knew that,” I snap.
