Shadow Warrior, page 24
part #4 of Shadow Rider Series
She blinked. Looked up at him. “In what way?”
“In every way. If I asked you to meet me outside wearing nothing but that little robe that’s lying across your bed right now, I would expect you to do it.”
A soft rose flush slid over her skin and she pressed her thighs together. It was a subtle reaction, but one he’d hoped to see. She reacted in the best possible way. The idea didn’t make her want to talk about rights and equality but was seductive to her. He resisted the urge to scoop her up and kiss her until neither of them could breathe. He knew that wouldn’t be fair to her. His lifestyle wasn’t for a moment or two. It was what he would expect for their lifetime.
“The thing to think about, Grace, isn’t whether or not you need this lifestyle, too. Deep down, where it counts, before you ever commit to me, you have to know that this is something that will satisfy you sexually and in every other way. It can sound exciting, but then get old very fast. Sometimes it will feel one-sided. You won’t always agree with me. Or want to do the things I ask of you.”
She put her wineglass down. He noted she’d drunk more than half. “I might be afraid.”
Her voice quivered, and Vittorio wanted to gather her up and hold her on his lap to comfort her, but he forced himself to remain where he was. “I expect that you will. I also would expect your trust and your communication. You have to tell me that you’re afraid. You have to say when you don’t like something we do. For a relationship to work between us, I need to know how you’re feeling at all times.”
She nodded, her gaze fixed on his face. He liked that she was giving him her full attention when he needed her to.
“That being said, it doesn’t mean we won’t go there, only that we’ll discuss it more and we’ll take things slow until you get to a place you’re no longer afraid.”
“What happens if I don’t do something that you want me to do?”
“Then I would be very disappointed.”
Her lashes lifted and she looked directly back into his eyes. His heart lurched at what he saw there. She didn’t like the idea of him being disappointed. He had to find a way to make certain she would always look at him that way.
“So, no whips.”
“I would never, in any way, hurt you. My woman is the one I love and respect more than any other and I would never want to see her hurt.” He meant that, but didn’t agree that there wouldn’t be whips.
Vittorio wasn’t a man who would ever enjoy seeing tears in his woman’s eyes—Grace’s eyes. He had already passed being interested in her or falling for her, he was there. He’d been in her company for nearly six weeks now and he knew he wanted to spend a lifetime with her. He was giving her an out while he could, and it wasn’t easy. Listening to himself talk about his needs made him feel selfish, and he was afraid the things important to him would drive her away, especially since he couldn’t explain why he needed precise obedience and complete control in his home to keep him sane.
“That’s a good thing.” She finished off her wine and put the glass down, once more picking up her fork to shove her salad around.
Clearly the tempeh wasn’t her favorite and he made a mental note to tell Merry not to serve it to her again.
“Having said I’m not into giving my woman pain, that doesn’t necessary mean there won’t be whips.” He poured a teasing note into his voice but watched her closely.
She sat up straighter. “Vittorio, I’m not into pain at all.”
“That’s a good thing. I just told you I’m not into inflicting it on my woman. I want to bring you pleasure, not hurt you. Sometimes, gattina, playing can be very sexy.”
She was silent for a moment and then she visibly relaxed. “I’ll have to trust you on that.”
He was very pleased with her answer. He took a sip of his wine, wondering what he’d done right for the universe to send him such a gift.
“What about you, Grace? I’d like you to tell me the things that you feel you need in a relationship.”
“I want to feel loved,” she said without hesitation. “I want to know that my man loves me and isn’t looking at other women when I’m not with him. You’re extremely wealthy and used to women throwing themselves at you. You’ve dated gorgeous women and had any number of them. I’m not so certain I can measure up. I’m not exactly experienced.”
He sat back in his chair and studied her face. She was nervous about having sex with him and yet she’d still dressed the way he’d asked and when he’d made a very sexual demand of her, one most women might hesitate to do, she had been courageous enough to do it. She had really given thought to his deliberate mention of whips in the bedroom, and then put trust in him. He wanted to frame her beautiful face between his palms and kiss her senseless as a reward.
“You’re so naturally sensual, bella, you never have to worry about inexperience. Haven’t you heard the things I’m telling you about me? I want things my way in the bedroom. That means inexperience on your part is a plus. It allows me to teach you what I like and want. I can promise you that at the end of the day, I can give you everything you could ever want.”
She rubbed at the sling holding her arm, something she did when she was growing tired of the weight on her sore shoulder.
“Do you want dessert? Merry made her famous raspberry-lemon tart just for you.” He was tempting her on purpose, even though she was growing tired. He wanted her to get stronger and heal faster. The doctor had said she would need additional calories in order to not lose any more weight with the rigorous demands of physical therapy.
She nodded. “And coffee?”
He shook his head. “That would keep you up all night. You need to sleep.”
She ducked her head. “I haven’t slept much since I asked you not to stay in my room.”
He waited, deliberately not answering her. He had known she wasn’t sleeping. Even the doctor had commented on it, worried that she was wearing herself out. There was a short silence and finally she lifted her head.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” He kept his voice pitched low, conveying his disappointment in her. “Your health is paramount, Grace. You know that.”
“Yes, I know, I’m sorry. I was very confused about what your mother meant when she said I met some criteria that you needed for a partner. I was hurt,” she admitted.
“I’m sorry that hurt you, but you should have told me you needed me in your room to sleep.” He collected her plates and put them in a small bin Merry had given him for the dishes. She had eaten little of the salad, but half of the tostada. “Just so you know, the criteria my mother referred to don’t hold a candle to all the requirements I just laid out for you. As for being faithful, I’ve told you, that is something that is part of my code I live by. I would never take a vow with a woman and break it. Tell me what else you need to make you happy.”
“I want the kind of relationship where my man is my best friend. He’s the first person I want to share anything with, tell anything to, be with above anyone else.”
He flashed an encouraging smile. “I’m on board with that entirely.”
“I want children and I want my man to really be a father to those children, really participate in parenting. It’s imperative to me, since I never had it, to know my children will feel loved and important to us all the time.”
Vittorio nodded solemnly. “I agree one hundred percent. I didn’t have stellar parenting. Neither my mother nor father was interested in any of us.”
She looked a little shocked. “Vittorio. You’re so close with your siblings. I knew there was a problem with your mother, but your father as well?”
He shrugged. “We had Stefano.”
“But he’s only a few years older than the rest of you.”
“He took his role seriously. Keep going, gattina. What else do you need? You need to be able to tell me anything.”
She took a deep breath. The action lifted her breasts, drawing his attention. He’d been studiously avoiding looking too much at her sitting there, appearing vulnerable and sexy. He already wanted her with every cell in his body, but she kept wreaking havoc with his brain.
“I want to work. I love what I do, and I’m good at it.”
She had already indicated as much to him, so he stayed silent.
“I’m good with the routine you already have in the household because it’s important to you, and anything you need of course would be important to me,” she added.
“Why?” He pushed her. He knew he was asking a great deal of her to reveal more of herself to him, but he’d put himself on the line for her. Few women would have been happy with what he’d asked of her. “I know it takes courage to look at yourself and ask for what you need, but this is us. Our relationship, which is no one else’s business. I will always take care of you, Grace. Always. Any secret you have is mine. Anything I tell you I trust stays with you. We’re in this together. I’m already so proud of you for going this far with me.”
He knew stripping oneself of armor and baring one’s darkest secrets was uncomfortable and scary. Even terrifying. Her chin went up and his heart jerked hard in his chest. His cock matched the action against the material of his drawstring pants. It was a good thing they were loose because he was full and hard, his erection pulsing with urgent demands.
“I like pleasing you and really, really don’t like disappointing you. It’s the worst possible feeling,” she confessed in a low voice.
His heart jumped. If nothing else had gone before, he would have known she was the right woman for him just from that admission alone.
“When I’m with you, I find I want to make you happy. When I’m away from you, I’m thinking about making you happy and what that would take. I try to see all the details, how you like your home to be, your clothes, your coffee. Small things. Just so I know and can make certain you have them. Right now, you’ve been doing everything for me, but I want the chance to do things for you.”
His smile broke free before he had a chance to check it. High wattage. The real thing. He couldn’t help it. She was magnificent and too good to be true.
“I like doing things for you, Grace. I’ll continue to do those things and more. Does that make you uncomfortable?”
She shook her head and turned her attention to the raspberry-lemon creation Merry had made for them.
“I like verbal answers, bella,” he reminded. “It doesn’t seem important now, but it will be later when we’re having sex and I need to hear that you’re okay with whatever we’re doing.”
Her head came up, the color sweeping up her body, turning her breasts rosy. Her nipples peeked right through the lace, drawing his attention.
“Whatever we’re doing?” she echoed faintly.
“Yes. We’ll be doing the things I want to do. The things I demand of you. You haven’t told me what you need from me in the bedroom. Here, in our home. I have to know what your needs are in order to fulfill them.”
Her color deepened even more. She took a deep breath and tilted her chin at him. “I need you to tell me what to do. What you want from me. For some reason, when you do, I get more aroused than I ever thought possible. When you tell me what you want in or out of the bedroom, it makes me feel more in control and more powerful. I know what it takes to please you and I like being able to give that to you.”
She couldn’t have given him a more perfect answer. Vittorio could barely breathe with the need to hold her. Just to feel his arms around her and know she wanted him to belong to her in the same way he wanted her.
She took another deep breath. “And I don’t just want to be compatible. I want to be loved. Really, deeply loved. I want my man to fall so hard he won’t ever find a way to get up. I want to love that man with that same fierceness and passion.” She looked him right in the eyes. “I want everything or nothing at all, because I’m not willing to settle.”
He leaned toward her. “Grace, I know a few things about you from living with you these last few weeks. You have high self-esteem and you are very self-aware. I trusted you to know what you need and to tell me what those needs were because you are very aware of who you are and what your strengths and weaknesses are. You gave me hope when I hadn’t had any whatsoever; listening to you talk to Katie, I knew you were aware of other people’s needs and you worked hard to make certain those needs were met. You have a solid center in the midst of a horrific situation, and you’ve even achieved peace of mind in spite of Phillips, which is a fucking miracle.”
He reached across the table and caught her hand, his thumb sliding over the ring he’d put on her finger. “I want you to marry me. I don’t want you to get away.”
She took a deep breath. “Just because we’re compatible doesn’t meant you’ll feel—”
“Stop.” He sat up, letting her go, his command harsher than he intended. He made an effort to soften his tone. “It would be impossible for a man like me to know those things about you in such a short time, and yet I do because everything I’ve described as your characteristics are spot-on, right?”
At her nod, he continued. “If those are the traits in a woman I’ve searched the world over to find, it stands to reason I would already be falling in love with her when I found a woman with just those attributes.”
She blinked those long, feathery lashes at him. “You are?”
“I am. Are you finished with your dessert?”
She looked down at her plate. She’d eaten most of the slice. “Yes. I’m getting tired, and I don’t want to be tired.” Her uninjured hand slid along her thigh, rubbing back and forth.
He got up immediately and went around the table to help her out of her chair. In such close proximity, he found he couldn’t wait one more moment, doing what he’d wanted numerous times throughout dinner. He framed her small face with his large hands and bent to take possession of her mouth.
It was a takeover. His tongue found entry and he swept inside, taking control, kissing her the way he wanted. Claiming her as his. He was rough, demanding and possessive. He wanted her to feel his brand of love. Complete. Encompassing. Reverent. Carnal. All those things mixed together. Fire spread hot and liquid through his veins to pool in his groin. His cock ached for release, made its own imperative demands, so hard and thick he wasn’t certain he could take a step. He forced himself to lift his head and was happy when her mouth chased after his. He swept his hand down her body to settle between her legs, even more gratified to feel her slick, welcoming heat. She’d need all of it to accommodate him.
“We’re heading back to your room, Grace, but only until the doc says you no longer have to wear that sling to support your arm. You’ve only got another week, then we’ll move your things to the master bedroom.”
Grace nodded. He could see there was still a little apprehension in her eyes, but he couldn’t blame her for that. He was asking a lot of her and he hadn’t even talked to her about what he did as a rider and how that could possibly affect both of them should anything go wrong between them.
She turned toward the door but then glanced at him over her shoulder. “We can’t leave the dishes out here.”
He blew out the candles and then gave her his full attention. “I’ve got that taken care of.”
“Of course you do.” She sent him a smile and walked ahead of him to the door.
He reached around her to put his hand on the doorknob. Lowering his head to her shoulder, he bit the sweet spot between it and her neck. “You should have trusted that I took care of that detail, gattina.”
She gave a little yelp at the sting and then shivered when he soothed the bite with his tongue. “I’m usually the detail person, and I’m still getting used to the fact that you’re willing to take that on for me.”
He pressed a kiss over his mark on her skin. “It will take time to work things out between us, but we’ll get there. Trust is given over time, not immediately. I don’t expect that.”
It had taken Vittorio a long time to accept the dominant traits in himself and what that would mean when expecting a partner to live with him. He didn’t want to ever be overbearing or in any way hurt his wife or children. He took time to find the things he needed to keep his life balanced and peaceful, as well as to develop compassion and humility. He might be dominant, but he refused to be domineering.
He’d learned to be a clear, good communicator, one who listened attentively with an open mind and tried to find every solution before resorting to imposing his will. His voice was a gift he could use when needed and it helped to persuade and soothe a difficult situation. He hoped it would help with their children. He knew it would be every bit as important for him to be honest with Grace as he wanted her to be with him. If he wasn’t, how could he expect her to be?
He had pride in who he was, because he’d taken the time to train his mind just as he had his body. He had a strict code he lived by and loyalty was at the top of the list. If his woman put herself and her well-being into his care, he took that seriously and knew the gift she was giving him. He wasn’t about to let her down through self-indulgence.
He was very aware his hold on Grace was tentative. She wanted him and the lifestyle he offered her, but he could tell there was a part of her she was holding back. That was expected as well. She was an intelligent woman and she wasn’t just going to hand herself over to him because she was tempted. He loved that about her because it meant when she did fully surrender, he’d earned it and he had a much better chance of keeping her when he had to tell her he was a shadow rider and what that meant for both of them.
He swept his hand from her shoulder blade to the curve of her bottom and then rested his palm there, making her hyperaware of him. He felt her reaction as she walked back to her room, the slight trembling of her body, the little hitch in her breath.
“Do you object to walking around the house with just lingerie such as this on?” Deliberately he stepped closer to her, letting her feel his heat.
