“I saw it.”

  A woman in a brightly colored sari spoke up. “You’re crashing the party! Aamon, you knew and still had the party?” She stared at the bird man demon.

  Something about him, a vibe coming off Aamon, made me have goose bumps, like something wasn’t quite right. The feeling of being watched by ghosts or aliens with bad intentions when human came over me. Fear of the unknown, of having no control or understanding.

  He approached me without blinking. He didn’t look at the woman in the sari, but answered her. “She has come from heaven. Look, a heavenly guest during our holiday between realms. She’s come to ask for help. She wants to make sure the one who killed her is suffering.”

  I bit my lip. My instincts told me to keep quiet.

  The guests were thrilled and fascinated with Aamon’s mistaken knowledge, and I hoped as hard as I could that they’d keep feeding his ego until he spilled something I could use. Then I might understand what in the world he was talking about. Samantha? Make sure someone who killed me was suffering?

  The death day boy put his hand on Aamon’s shoulder. “I couldn’t have asked for anything more. You truly are a wonder. Please. Now you have to tell us what you’re going to do to fix this, make it right between them again.”

  Aamon stood right in front of me and held up his hand. His fingernails were long and black, like ebony.

  I shook all over, but I took his hand and let him lead me off the tabletop. Again came the chills. I kept my other hand behind my back, hoping the ring’s glow didn’t show through the cracks of my fingers.

  He didn’t let go of my hand and continued to penetrate me with his eyes. “This guest is no ordinary guest. She has come to make sure Ashley is suffering, Bifron’s Ashley.”

  Of course I wasn’t. I was coming to save her. I thought fast, but all I came up with was to say, “How do you know these things?” It seemed like it might help because he ate up the fact that his guests loved him knowing stuff about me.

  There were gasps all around at his announcement about Ashley. Nobody heard my question.

  I wanted to stomp my foot and scream at them as they whispered and gossiped just out of range of my hearing anything helpful, but my bare foot wouldn’t make a sound on the marble. Also, I still had that feeling to be quiet. I was glad nobody heard me. It had been stupid.

  Unfortunately, Aamon had taken notice, and quieted the room by holding up the hand not holding mine. “Samantha,” he said. “What did you say?”

  Should I repeat it? I didn’t know, so I didn’t move or speak. Just stared at him.

  “You asked how I knew about you, didn’t you?” His raven’s head cocked to the side and he folded his arms across his chest. “You can’t take your eyes off my necklace.”

  I didn’t answer. I felt terrified. There was something inherently wrong with this demon. It wasn’t madness. Wicked intelligence and some kind power that lets him know things. He was wrong about me, but he knew of Ashley. What did that mean? He knew we were connected, that I was trying to get to her.

  An imp waiter said to me, “Aamon’s skills at seeing his personal future events are unmatched.”

  It hit me and I knew what to do. Snap, like that.

  I braved up and asked, “How does that work?” My voice came out weak and troubled.

  Aamon unfolded his arms and ran satin fingertips down the side of my arm to my hand again. He laced our fingers. “Say it,” he commanded.

  I inhaled. Here I go, I thought, goose bumps covering even the tops of my toes. “My name’s Samantha, and I’ve come to be sure Ashley is horribly punished here in hell. She’s being held by Bifrons, but the door is locked to the other side of hell. Please.” I looked up into his glowing bird eyes and pinched my lips together, trying to look as furious as I could. “You have the key. I need the key to hurt Ashley. She murdered me, you get it?” I was screaming at the end, so wildly into my performance was I.

  Ooos and ahhhs from the souls.

  A teenage girl asked, “What will you do, Aamon? How will you make Samantha see that Ashley is not her enemy?”

  “I always teach what I have found to be true as long as I’ve existed. Hating someone is the real hell. It becomes obsession, and one forgets the self. It consumes your soul with feelings of the basest, most self-inflicting mental abuse and suffering. It will destroy you if you do not forgive, if you do not learn that you and your enemy are both souls seeking your ways. Feeling lost in a dark wood at night as a young child, no parents to help you. It’s always been you.” He glanced around as he spoke, then back to me with the last phrase. “I will give you this key. You seek out Ashley.”

  He let go of my hand and bowed to me, and then twice to his guests. They clapped and whistled. I heard a few souls say the word, “Later,” but didn’t know what they meant.

  The death day guy tumbled over his ecstatic words as he managed to say, “Aamon, you…you’re going to take me? Show me? You did this for me?”

  “Yes, Anthony. For Samantha and Ashley, as well. Now you all understand why I had an English-speaking party. She wouldn’t understand any of it had we celebrated in the usual fashion with the all the many regular friends.”

  “I’ll explain it to them,” volunteered an old man’s soul.

  “Thank you, Murphy.”

  He slipped the chain from around his neck, holding it close to his body with the key swinging back and forth. “Bifrons is a close companion of mine. We both see futures. He uses divination. I have visions. We relate. However, your situation is more dire than the importance of what Bifrons is doing with Ashley.” He nodded at me. “Go now, and put your ring back on. Go to her. Perhaps, perhaps we will meet again, Samantha.”

  He paused before handing me the key, examining me. I sensed he might have picked up on my trick right then, or at least wondered if I was tricking him, and then he raised the chain and key to me. “Take care, and may you find the peace you’re looking for.”

  I snatched the necklace and put it around my own neck. The key must have weighed ten pounds and my head bobbed down at first from the weight.

  “Thank you, Aamon. I won’t forget.”

  “No, you won’t. You have an exciting journey of freedom ahead of you.”

  I didn’t know what he meant by that, so I pulled my left hand from behind my back and opened my palm, revealing the ring. It glowed like always.

  I glanced up at him one more time, and then put the ring on my right hand where it had been before.

  As I left the flaming marble chamber after lying right to the face of the most terrifying being I could imagine—that overwhelming gut-wrenching fear, disgust and unknowing with him had taken over every sense—I reflected on seeing the future and paradox. He told me what I’d say, so I knew what to say, and that’s what he’d seen in his own future. I felt uneasy, though, like I hadn’t seen the last of Aamon. The way he said that we’d meet again held a hint in its tone that he already knew we would. He, in fact, planned on it.

  7.

  Going back through where the legions had been was even worse the second time, but I didn’t dwell on it. I wanted to forget that place for eternity, but knew the sights and sounds would haunt me, even when back in heaven’s sweet honeysuckle embrace.

  I paused on the same volcanic rock bridge where I remembered how Ashley died. Ava and I hadn’t talked except when we met at our spot and she had said, “You did it. I knew you could.” It let me know she was there, but I was too numbed by the legions’ territory to respond.

  Now I asked her, “Ava, does something special happen to people who die saving another person’s life? After death, I mean.”

  “Yes.”

  “What is it?” I whispered.

  “If the act was selfless and came from love and respect for life, then the soul goes to heaven and becomes an angel.”

  I fisted my ringed hand. “I’ve never even seen an angel! What do they do up there, anyway? There are demons all over the place down here, not to mention the imps. I bet this area is crawling with those little red devils and I can’t see them.”

  “Do not despair. This is your path, and you chose it. You have free will, the gift of all souls.”

  “Are angels and demons souls then? What are they?”

  “They are souls who have evolved, followed their paths.”

  “I don’t get it. Where do the paths lead?”

  “To nirvana, of course.”

  “Demons achieve nirvana? That’s even possible? Wait. You’re saying you were an angel and then achieved nirvana?”

  “Something like that, but there aren’t really words for it.”

  I loosened my hand. I’d clenched it so tightly that the ring had cut off circulation to my finger. I felt throbbing as blood rushed back. “Why do I feel like I’m in my human body here? Why is my mind clear and I feel sad? I can’t stop thinking about the past on earth…I had the image of a man’s face in Aamon’s chamber, and the most awful feeling came over me. So much pain, and there was regret. I don’t know who he is, and I have no idea why I felt that way.”

  “All the realms have their quirks. Hell is more like Earth than heaven.”

  “All the realms? What other realms are there?”

  “Oh, an infinite many.”

  Stunned, I turned to the air speaking beside me. “You’re kidding, right?”

  “No.”

  I didn’t know what to say after that. Each question led to more questions whenever Ava answered a query.

  Ashley had been an angel in heaven. What did that mean? What did she do there? All I knew was that she went fishing with our dad. Often. Maybe all those heavenly souls who said they’d never met an angel were around them all the time, and the angels never let on what they were. Or the angels might not even know they were angels, in fact. Couldn’t that be possible? I asked Ava this one question, hoping I’d get a straight answer.

  “They know they are angels,” was all she said about it, but she still didn’t explain what one was or what it did in heaven. It was obvious what demons in hell did: they let the most negative aspects of their beings control them and believed those qualities were great strengths.

  Where did that leave angels and their goals, their motivations and characters?

  If Ashley had been an angel, then I was positive angels must be the best souls, evolved or not, that existed after earthly death.

  We made it to the jade sign again, and then I entered the pale blue glow of the other tunnel leading to the wonders side of hell. Wonders that could make you go mad, as Ava had first explained it. Was madness worse than what I’d seen through tunnel number one? I doubted it.

  I walked down the cool tunnel, and my feet got cold. The frost stung the places I’d nicked my tootsies on gravel. I walked for a very long time, and then some more. I had to sit down this time and get some blood into my bare feet.

  “What are you doing, Megan?” Ava asked.

  “My feet, I have to rub them to get them warmed up. I’m losing circulation. I never should have taken my sandals off.” I paused my foot massage. “Wait, I never told you my name. How did you know my name?”

  “Ashley told me.”

  I glared at the tunnel around me, hoping she would catch my evil eye if I looked everywhere. “You know her? You know her well enough to talk to her and hear her talk about me?”

  “Yes.”

  “Ava, why didn’t you tell me that? I have to dig every bit of information out of you.” I rubbed my feet with aggression.

  “Every soul in hell knows the story of how Ashley came to be in hell, although she was an angel.”

  “Not this soul,” I muttered. “So why don’t you just tell me?”

  “It’s not my place.”

  “Whose place is it, then? Tell me something, anything! Tell me who to go to for answers about Ashley if you refuse to.”

  “I don’t like not disclosing the details, but I was asked not to by a great soul. This soul is the throne in heaven, Azrael. You must seek him out or be so sincerely in need of his help that he comes to you. He knows everything there is to know about changing planes. He is the angel of death.”

  I paused. Now that was an answer. “What’s an angel of death doing in heaven? It seems like that would be a demon’s job.”

  “You don’t remember your death, otherwise you’d recall Azrael. He brought your soul from its human incarnation to this one. He does this for all souls who die. He takes them to the realm they belong in, and teaches them about what has happened to them, about their new lives.” She sounded like she had great respect for Azrael.

  “No, I don’t know any of that. Nobody in heaven I met does. Why is that?”

  “You know it in your soul, but you haven’t faced the implications yet. Once you remember the past, you will understand much more. You won’t remember the past until you fully accept responsibility for your personal role in the scheme of sentience.”

  I stopped massaging my toes and stood. “Thanks, Ava. That’s actually helpful. I’ll find Azrael once I get Ashley out of here and get back to heaven.”

  “Hey, no problem. I’m here to help.” I heard a smile in her voice.

  I had to ask. “Will you please show me your physical form? I hate talking to nothing. And think about it. If we’re going to a place where madness can take over, isn’t it a bad idea for me to be chatting up the surrounding oxygen that talks back to me?”

  She laughed lightly. “Okay, but many find it bizarre. Look the way down the tunnel in the direction we’re going in. I’ll appear in front of you.”

  I turned, waiting. Nothing happened.

  “Are you ready?” she asked, and I jumped.

  “Yes, yes. I’m ready.”

  “Three. Two. One. Here I am!”

  Ava took form and I stumbled back, falling on my tush when I saw her, my eyes popping out of my head. This was the oddest thing I’d seen since dying.

  Before me stood an Asian woman of great beauty and grace wearing a royal blue silk robe, but she had one…two…I counted eleven heads in my stupor. They came out from all over her tall, thin form from the hips up, some heads one on top of the other. The faces all looked the same. A sweet smile and wise, sparking eyes full of joy filled each one.

  It was the arms that really got me, though. She had gobs of them, all coming from her shoulders and sprouting out, moving like flesh snakes. They filled the tunnel to the front, the side walls, and behind her. One arm reached down to me, trying to help me back to my feet. I didn’t take it. All I could manage to say was, “How…how many…Oh, the arms, how many, Ava?”

  “A thousand. Aren’t they magnificent? They were a gift from a friend, as were the extra heads. They come in handy.” All her mouths finished speaking in unison and smiled.

  I finally blinked. “Oh, just. Oh wow. You’re some Buddhist god, aren’t you?”

  “They know some things about me, but I would never be a god.”

  I was still too stunned at her appearance to figure out what she meant by that. I couldn’t tear my gaze away from her. “Is there any other form you can take? Maybe something less…full of extra body parts? If you’re taking form for this side of hell, then you have to blend in.”

  Her arms wavered. “They all know me in these parts in my natural form, but if it will make you feel better, I’ll disguise my extras.” Instantly, 998 arms and 10 heads that shouldn’t be on a human body vanished, and only that of an ordinary, beautiful woman stood before me.

  “Oh, Ava. Why couldn’t you show yourself to me this way to begin with?” I took a deep breath, closing my eyes, rubbing them. When I opened them, she held one hand out to me. I let her help me up. My rump felt bruised from the fall.

  She got an impish smile. “To be honest, I really like doing that to people for the first time. The reactions are hysterical.”

  “To you, maybe!” Still, I couldn’t help but grin and let out a small giggle. “I guess you did get me pretty good. You say a friend gave you those?”

  “Yes.” Her eyes were vibrant and full of love, peace, calm, and happiness. All directed at me. I could feel it now that I could see it.

  “Wait. I know what I saw, but how could anyone fit a thousand arms into this little tunnel?”

  She kept smiling. “It’s like the jade sign. You just have to see it right.”

  I shook my head, as confused as ever with her going back to cryptic replies to my direct questions. “Okay, to the door we go. How much farther is it?”

  “We’re almost there.”

  It had to be five more minutes of walking and then we came to a human-sized wooden door with silver metal bars holding the planks of the door tightly together. There was a matching silver doorknob, and below it, a giant silver lock hung.

  “You’re telling me we went to Aamon’s to get the key and this is the door? You have a thousand arms! You could rip this shabby thing off its hinges without thinking about it!” I took the necklace off and threw it on the icy ground.

  Hell was turning me into a major bitch.

  “Oh no, this is a magical door, you could say. There is nothing in existence that could open this lock except for the key you accidentally dropped just now.” She raised an eyebrow, puckered her lips. “Bifrons knows secrets nobody in hell does. Understands essences of the truest, deepest nature on many scientific and metaphysical subjects. He is the expert above all other souls in existence in a few areas of his studies.”

  He didn’t sound so bad. What did he want with Ashley? I picked up the key and took it off the chain, and then voiced the question to Ava.

  “She is angel in hell, but not demon. He has a fascination with the very nature of this. The demons, they all want to prove they are the true angels. Bifrons wants to use Ashley to prove he is angel without a doubt. To himself, he says, for science, he claims. He keeps her prisoner to glorify his own desires. He doesn’t think he’s demon and twisted, selfish in motives. He sees those qualities in his character, but doesn’t perceive them as you or I would.”

 

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