Only When It's Us (Bergman Brothers Book 1), page 30
With one last tender roll of his hips, Ryder falls over me, then to the side, his arms scooping me to him and cradling me against his chest. Our breaths are ragged and loud, our bodies heave. My hands are everywhere. His hair, his cheeks, his jaw, his arms. I kiss him wherever I can, making him laugh quietly.
Soon Ryder’s hands caress my body, kneading and stroking until they find my thigh. With one swift motion, my leg’s thrown over his hip and I’m being poked in the stomach by—
“Already?” My eyes widen as he slides the hard tip of his length between my thighs.
Ryder laughs. “Yeah, Willa. Already.” Another shiver of happiness whispers through me, hearing him speak when he can’t hear it, no insecurity or embarrassment. Because, like he said, we’re safe with each other. “I just came in like three minutes. That was the prequel. Now it’s time for the main act.”
I snuggle closer to him but still show him my face so he can read my lips. “It was perfect. I came fast, too.”
Ryder grins as I kiss him. “True. But now I have to show off. Wow you with my stamina and lumberjacked moves.”
“Oh, yes, please.” Reaching past his waist, I cup his butt and squeeze it affectionately. Holy wonder buns. “I’ve wanted to do this for a lot of months.”
Ryder slips inside me and we both gasp. “Me, too, Sunshine.”
My lips find his good ear and press the faintest kiss before I whisper, “I love you.”
He sighs happily and nods. His hand tips his lips, a fist across his heart, to mine. I love you.
We don’t leave that bed for a very, very long time.
30
Ryder
Playlist: “Coloring Outside The Lines,” MisterWives
I’m on the roof, finally getting around to reattaching the gutter where it pulled away. I already finished patching the chimney, which is where the leak was coming from.
I’m mid-swing when I hear it.
A shriek. A bloodcurdling, terrifying scream. I have never been so grateful for the cochlear implants because there’s no way in hell I would have heard her otherwise.
“Willa!” I bellow back. “You okay?” I’m scrambling, throwing everything in the tool bag I carried up the ladder. I climb halfway down the ladder, then leap off the rest of the way and sprint into the house. Willa stands frozen in the entranceway, staring at the ground.
“Willa,” I call as I walk toward her. When she still doesn’t answer, I wrap my arms around her, checking for broken bones, a hemorrhage. Anything to explain why she screamed like she was dying.
“Th-there,” she whispers shakily.
I track her eye’s path and spot something small and dark scuttling across the floor.
“A spider,” I say matter-of-factly.
“Shh. Don’t. You’ll summon it.” She backs into me, and I can’t help but smile at how damn adorable she is when facing the few things in the world that frighten Willa Rose Sutter. Bears. Snakes. Spiders. That’s about it.
“It’s a daddy longlegs, Willa.”
“The hell, it is.” She turns and climbs me like I’m a tree until she’s wrapped around my waist. “Kill it.”
I roll my eyes. “I’m not killing it. Spiders play an important role in the ecosystem—”
“Ryder. Stellan. Bergman.” Willa grabs my jaw and looks me dead in the eye. “If you want to get laid tonight, you will kill that fucking spider.”
“That’s not fair. We agreed sexual threats weren’t fair play.”
She sighs and drops her forehead to the crook of my neck. “Fine. Please, just pretty please, kill it. If it’s alive, I won’t be able to sleep. Or eat. Or think about anything else.”
“Willa.” I press a kiss to her temple as I walk toward the spider and feel her cling tighter to me. “I’m not killing a harmless—”
I stop, staring closely at it. Willa lifts her head enough to glance at the floor, too, and shudders. “Okay, never mind.” I hike her higher up. “That’s a black widow.”
Willa shrieks right as my boot lands on it.
Once my ear stops ringing, I deposit Willa on the floor and clean up the damage. When I straighten from that task, Willa’s staring at me. Her eyes are chocolate brown turning butterscotch. I know those eyes now. Horny eyes.
I hold her gaze and fight the very real impulse to throw her over my shoulder and take her to bed again, but I still have to do my part on the A-frame upkeep while I’m here and I didn’t finish repairing the gutters. “I’m going to wrap up on the roof now.”
Willa nods slowly. “Dinner’s underway. Should be ready in about an hour.”
“Perfect.” I kiss her once, hard, on the lips. “I’ll be done and cleaned up by then.” She pulls me back for one more kiss, and when I break away, I instinctively give her an affectionate smack on the ass.
Willa hiccups and stares up at me, wide-eyed.
I stare back, then clear my throat. “Sorry. Don’t exactly know where that came from.”
“Like hell you don’t,” she whispers. Willa bites her lip and leans into me. “And don’t be sorry. I didn’t dislike it, for the record. I didn’t dislike it at all.”
My unease dissipates, and I tug her close, kissing her slowly.
When we pull apart, her smile is warm, so impossibly trusting and affectionate. I can’t get over watching those full lips part, that wide dazzling smile I’ve only ever seen her give me.
“Now get outta here, Slayer of Spiders.” Willa swats my ass. “And come back hungry.”
“Shit.”
I suck my finger into my mouth. Second time I’ve stabbed myself with a paring knife in the last five minutes. That’s what I get for trying to hull strawberries while watching Willa dance around in only one of my flannel shirts.
Fucking hell.
She bends over the dining room table, finishing setting it. Proper silverware, big wine glasses. She even went on a walk for some wildflowers and stuck them in a vase.
“Everything looks and smells great, Willa.”
Straightening, she turns and smiles at me. “Thank you. I wanted to make it nice, give you a big feast. All you’ve done is cook and take care of me.” She walks my way and wraps her arms around my waist. “Now it’s my turn.”
I’ve liked taking care of Willa. Now I’m starting to not mind when she wants to take care of me, too. Though I’ll always enjoy cooking for her, drawing her a hot bath, telling her to put her feet up and relax, it felt weirdly comfortable to finish my to-do list on the house earlier, then come inside to the view of her holding a bodice ripper in one hand while stirring au jus for the beef finishing in the oven.
Willa kisses me, and her wild hair tickles my arms. I pull her close and breathe her in. Sunscreen and flowers, a hint of herbs and red wine from cooking.
After one more kiss, I let her go. Willa sweeps up the bodice ripper off the counter which she took from the A-frame’s hodgepodge library. I watch her walk the other side of the counter, turn a page and absently sip her wine. Her hair’s the biggest it’s ever been because I literally cannot keep my hands off her. I keep dragging her back to bed, shoving my fingers into those gorgeous curly waves, tugging, knotting, breathing them in.
Aaand I’m hard now.
I glance down at my dick insistently tenting my sweatpants. “Chill out, dude.”
“You talking to your log jammer, Lumberjack?”
I startle and drop the paring knife before I stab myself again. A blush creeps up my cheeks. “Maybe.”
Willa sashays around the rest of the island and drops onto a stool. The beef just has to rest in the oven. Dinner’s ready. I’m making dessert. Willa seems content to sit in the quiet of the kitchen and read. It makes my heart tumble as I watch her reading and a blush tinging her cheeks.
“That is some vintage smut you found, Sunshine.”
Willa snorts and drops the book just enough to meet my eyes. “It’s so good. This duke is my kind of asshole.”
“Isn’t that stuff pretty misogynistic? Aren’t they all damsels in distress, in need of a good plundering?” I toss the strawberries into a bowl and add the sambuca, Grand Marnier, and sugar. Willa loves peppered strawberries, so I’m making them happen.
“Some of it is, yeah. But others aren’t. Like this one.” Willa turns the page and takes a sip of her wine. “It’s feminist, even though there’s ‘plundering,’ because she wants to be plundered. It’s feminist as hell, claiming your sexual preferences whether or not they include manhandling.”
I freeze with the cream in my hand, spoon in the other. “P-pardon?” My voice breaks. Great. I sound like a blushing teenager.
Willa lowers the book again. Her cheeks are bright pink. “You smacked my ass earlier.”
Jesus. “I did.”
“And I liked it.” Willa sips her wine and gives me a once-over. “You remember that text you sent?”
I pour cream over the strawberries and start stirring. “I’ve sent you a lot of texts, Willa.”
She rolls her eyes. “When I was on the road for playoffs. I threatened to shave your beard when I got back, and you told me that if I laid a hand to your facial hair—”
“You wouldn’t be able to sit for days.” I clear my throat as heat floods my cheeks. “Yeah, that was inappropriate of me.”
“But I liked that, too,” she says quietly. “I practically dropped my phone, I was so aroused. I felt like if I slid my hand inside my panties right then, I would have gone off like a firework.”
Blood roars in my ears. I don’t want to hurt Willa. In fact, I hate the idea of hurting her at all. I just like the idea of being intense. To hold her tight and fuck her hard, because it expresses how much she makes me feel, how deeply I want to be connected to her and her body. And, yes, I can admit some primal part of me gets turned on, swatting Willa’s fine ass and watching that turn her on.
But how can I do that when I can’t hear her well? I haven’t been rough at all because I’m not confident I can do it safely. What if I can’t hear Willa saying no? What if I miss some quiet cue that I’m making her uncomfortable or hurting her?
I stare down at the strawberries and stir them slowly. “Before…before things changed, I would have been right there with you, Sunshine. But, I don’t know if I can do that now.”
She sets down the book and reaches for my hand. I give it to her automatically and watch her small grip wrap around mine as best as it can. “Can you turn off the oven?”
My stomach twists. “Why?”
Willa grins shyly and releases my fingers. “I have something I want to try. Dinner can wait a little while.”
I flip the knob to shut off the oven and circle the island. Willa takes my hand again and pulls me past the dining room into the sunken living room. I showed her how to start a fire the other night, and she has. There’s a sea of blankets in front of the crackling hearth she built.
My stomach knots even tighter. “What is this?”
Willa squeezes my hand, then brings it to her lips for a kiss. “Hold on.”
Stepping to the side of the bookshelf, she pulls out a mirror that I recognize belongs to one of the bedrooms. It’s an oversized rectangle that is usually propped against the wall to function like a full-body mirror. Willa drags it carefully, a blanket underneath its side. Then, she tips it and props it against the end of the sofa.
She turns and smiles at me. “I hope you don’t find watching a turn-off. That was my solution. You’ll watch. You can read my lips.”
I cover my mouth with my hand and bite my palm. I feel stupidly close to crying. “God, Willa.”
She rushes toward me. “What’s wrong? Did I… Is it bad? Is it—”
I wrench her against me and kiss her roughly. Tongue, possessiveness. I bite the edge of her lip. “No. Not wrong. You’ve just…always taken me in stride. Accepted me for how I am.”
Willa frowns. “What else would I do, Ryder? I love you for who you are. Of course, I accept you for who you are. Just like you’ve accepted me.”
A shaky sigh leaves me as I tug her close to me again. “Maybe it’s because you met me when I was already like this, but you were the first person who just rolled with the punches. Who didn’t take my grumpy quietness at face value. You pushed past it and acted like we were just two people, being together.”
“Because we were. We are.” Willa kisses my chest. “Is that what happened with your family? Your other friends?”
I nod. “It was my fault. I locked down. I didn’t make it easy for them.”
“I’m sorry, Ryder,” she whispers. “But guess what? You didn’t make it easy because it wasn’t easy for you, either, and that’s understandable.” Her warm breath tickles my chest as she laces her hands behind my neck and pulls me down for a kiss.
I grin against her lips. “Sunshine. I’m so fucking addicted to you,” I growl as I kiss her. “God, it’s scary how much I love you.”
“Ryder.” Her voice cracks as she rips at my shirt, madly opening buttons. “Please. Now.”
“Tell me.” I pull at her buttons, too.
“You’re mine and I love you,” she growls back, tugging me close for a rough kiss. “Forever. I don’t fucking care what anyone says, what life brings. You are mine.”
Heat blazes through my body. I shove Willa’s shirt off her body and watch firelight bathe her every gorgeous curve. She yanks at my shirt, and I help her, tugging it over my head and throwing it aside. Kneeling, she shucks my sweats and boxers and takes me deep into her mouth. My hands go to her head as she pumps me, licking the sensitive tip. God, it feels good, but I’ll come too soon if she keeps it up.
“Stop.” My voice is low. Rough.
Willa shivers as she stands and wraps her arms around my neck. I hoist her up and hold her close, kissing her deeply. Walking to the blankets, I lay her down and run my hands along her ribs, kissing my way to that beautiful silky skin. I lick her, taste her. Soft, steady strokes, teasing kisses and bites. I want to take her a little harder, and there’s no way I can do that comfortably without relaxing her body, giving her an orgasm. Plus, I love making her come. I’ll never get over how hot it is to feel her come on my mouth, my fingers, my cock.
Only three days in, and I know just how to send her flying over the edge quickly. I lick, suck, curl my fingers and watch her shake into a fast, powerful release that sends a flush up her chest and throat.
I kiss her slowly, teasing bites followed by tongue as I crawl over her body. Then I flip her over and hear her gasp. It’s the last full sound I’ll hear until we’re done. I unclip the transmitters and processors and set them on the coffee table. Turning back to Willa, I grab her by the hips and wrench them up. Our eyes meet in the mirror and I could come right then.
Her eyes are hooded, her cheeks flushed. Her breasts sway beneath her, soft and full, her nipples tight little cherries I love to scrape between my teeth, then suck until she’s swearing up a storm and demanding my cock.
Slowly, I splay my hand between her shoulder blades and press her chest to the ground. Our eyes hold as I drift my hand along her spine, down the seam of her ass and lower. I play with her, tease her tight bud and watch her bite her lip.
She wiggles, searching for satisfying touch, but I grab her hip and lock eyes with her. “Be still.”
Willa swallows thickly and nods.
My hands squeeze her ass cheeks before I bend down and lick her. I go torturously slow. Long, light, swirling strokes. Never enough to satisfy her, only enough to make her smolder and beg.
Straightening, I lock eyes with her and slide my length over her wet skin. My grip is tight on her hips as I grind against her, and she bucks into me. I rub a hand softly over her ass and watch her lips fall open.
Please, her mouth says as she wiggles. I lift my hand and smack her ass.
“I said still, Willa.”
She jumps and her moan reverberates through her body to mine. Then she bucks her hips into me again. I smack and tease the other round cheek, bend and kiss, then bite it. Then I watch her reflection as I spank it. She has this euphoric grin on her face.
“More,” she mouths. “More, Ryder.”
I lean over her and bite her ear, kiss my way down her neck. Long, tantalizing bites. I can feel her panting, how her body shakes as I tease her nipples with my fingers. My length slides perfectly through that hot, satin skin because we fit like we were made for each other. She’s soaking wet, and my cock’s covered in her.
“So beautiful,” I whisper.
She turns for me to kiss her. I cup, then tease her breast again. I can’t help but bite her lip as I kiss her. She nearly falls over, but I wrench her upright, seating her on my lap. We look in the mirror together as I hold her hips hard and nudge every throbbing inch against her wet heat. On one sure thrust, I seat myself fully inside her and watch her mouth fly open, her eyes scrunch shut in pleasure. I rub her gently and whisper in her ear. “Look at me.”
Willa’s eyes flutter open, then lock with mine. She bites her lip as I stare at her, as my jaw clenches and my body tightens with need. Her body is so small inside mine, but she’s powerful, her muscles, her compact strength. She wraps an arm around my neck, as her other hand drops and cups my balls while I drive into her. I rub her swollen clit, but with my free hand, clasp her throat and press my lips to her ear. “Don’t hold back. I want to feel your sound.”
I pump from beneath her and fill her to the hilt, feeling her moans resonate under my hand, as she cries my name again and again. Each drive inside her is velvet hot, so unbelievably tight around me as I unleash my body’s force, as I give Willa everything she asks for, as she meets me thrust for thrust.
I taste her skin, kiss her, worship her. Stare at her in wonder because this is breathtakingly new and vulnerable and powerful. I thought Willa and I knew each other at every complicated layer of who we were, but now I know, this was what was left.
She screams, arching her chest, her body tightening, the rippling power of her orgasm tightening around my cock.
I call her name, not caring how I sound because I know Willa loves me, that no matter how it comes out, what matters to her isn’t how I say her name, only that it’s her name I’m calling. I kiss her, swallow her moans, feeling every sound under my palm. Lightning strikes my heart as Willa lifts her hand to my cheek and gentles it, turning her face to kiss me with impossible tenderness. The bolt of that touch surges through my system and makes me detonate deep inside her.
