The Wedding Setup, page 19
“Shall we choose four?” she suggested.
“Sounds good to me,” Maddie said.
Giorgio made a note and moved the first tray directly in front of them. He handed each a plastic fork. “Feta watermelon,” he explained.
“Mmmm,” Maddie said, after she swallowed. “That’s nice.”
“It’s fresh and light,” she said.
Next they tried fruit skewers, lamb meatballs, bacon dates, seared scallops, mozzarella-and tomato skewers, vegan mushroom pastries, mini lobster rolls, duck summer rolls, and vegan spring-pea spread on vegan bruschetta. By the last one of these, Ryann was so full, she was almost struggling to choke it down. How on earth would they get through the mains and the sides?
“Wow,” Maddie said, finally done with her last bite. Her expression was slightly disgusted, her lips peeled back, and she was leaning away from the table.
“That good, huh?” Ryann said.
Maddie grimaced. “Not a fan of peas. And I’m really, really full.”
“Any ideas which ones we should choose?”
Maddie shook her head and took a glass of water from Giorgio, sipping with a content sigh. “No idea. I liked all of them but that last one.”
They both looked at him for help.
“How many vegetarians do you think you’ll have?” he asked.
Maddie paused. “I can think of at least ten or so off the top of my head, but that probably means there’s more of them. I know a lot of people are pescatarian, and there’s at least a couple of vegans.”
“You’re probably right,” he said. “I usually suggest half and half for most weddings—that is half vegetarian—one vegan, one cheese—and half meat or fish. Meat eaters will eat the vegetarian ones, too, after all.”
Maddie opened her palms toward Ryann. “You choose, oh wise one.”
She laughed. “Okay, but you can veto anything, all right? And you have to choose the next thing.”
Maddie grimaced again, probably dreading more food and more choices, but she nodded.
She thought and said, “Feta watermelon, vegan mushroom pastries, lamb meatballs, and the seared scallops.”
Maddie grinned. “I was hoping you would pick those.”
Giorgio chuckled. “Oh, you two are cute!”
They exchanged an amused glance, and Maddie grabbed her hand again, squeezing it. She squeezed back, a warm, quiet peace rising from within. She liked holding Maddie’s hand. In fact, the longer they did it, the more it seemed like they should keep doing it.
“We like to think we’re cute,” she said.
He clapped. “Okay. Shall I give you a little while before the next course? Normally I’ll serve the sides now, but since we have some time before the next clients, we can wait a bit and serve the rest together. Some of the mains won’t be ready for a little bit yet—maybe ten or fifteen minutes.”
“That would be great,” she said.
“The longer the better.” Maddie nodded.
He excused himself, and she stood up to move around a little, hoping that would help her feel a little less like her entire body was ready to burst. Maddie joined her a moment later, and the two of them bent back and forth at the waist, chuckling slightly when they realized they were doing the same thing.
“You’d think we’d run a race, not eaten five pounds of food,” Maddie said.
“It felt like a marathon. I can tell you that. I’m literally sweating meatballs.”
“And after today, we have to turn around and do it again tomorrow,” Maddie said.
“What do you mean? I thought you said we were only trying the one caterer.”
Maddie curled her lips. “We have two bakeries lined up tomorrow.”
“Oh, I see.” She remembered, once again, that she wouldn’t be here. It was easy to forget that fact when the two of them were kissing or holding hands. Whether she flew out tonight or tomorrow, it didn’t matter. She should say something now, as the longer she waited, the worse her omission would seem. Of course, she could always lie and pretend she hadn’t known until the last minute, which, in a way, was true, as she wasn’t quite sure when she was flying, but that was a quibble. Lying by omission was one thing. Outright lying was another.
“Is something wrong?” Maddie asked, stepping closer, brow creased with concern. She held her hands out, and Ryann took them, sighing. Maddie pulled her closer.
“I have to tell you something,” she said into Maddie’s chest. She felt a little braver now, near to her and yet hidden, in a way.
“Hmm?” Maddie asked, her chin on top of her head. Her voice rumbled slightly, ticklish on her scalp.
“I don’t know how…that is, I don’t want to…”
“Let me guess,” Maddie said, the two of them still tucked together. “You’re married.”
“Ha! No.”
“You’re part of a crime family.”
She laughed again “No.”
“You’re wanted by the FBI for bank fraud.”
“Ha! No, again. Why do you think I’m a criminal?”
“You hate dogs and cats.”
This time Ryann stepped back and batted at her lightly. “No, and no. I don’t hate animals. I just…don’t get them.”
“What’s to get?”
She made a cutting gesture with both hands. “All of this is beside the point.”
Maddie shrugged. “I know. I did it on purpose. I wanted to lessen the tension. I think you’re going to tell me something that’s going to make both of us sad.”
Ryann’s eyes were suddenly welling. Maddie’s eyebrows shot up, and when she spoke, her voice was low, tight with worry.
“Is it about us? Do you regret—”
“No, Maddie. It’s not about us. I don’t regret any of it.”
“Well, that’s good.”
She didn’t say that it was about her, too, knowing that if they started down that road, she’d never get to what she had to say now. In fact, the idea of telling her that they needed to stop, to end whatever was happening between them, was almost horrifying. Regardless of what she’d told Stuart yesterday, and regardless of what they’d eventually have to talk about, she couldn’t fathom doing it now, especially here in Maddie’s arms.
Maddie suddenly stiffened and grabbed her hands. “Wait…is this about what you said earlier?”
“What?”
“Before we came inside. You said something about this being the last place. What did you mean?”
She opened her mouth, but the words wouldn’t come out. Once again, tears sprang to her eyes, and when they started to fall, Maddie let go of her hands, her face hardening. When Maddie spoke, her tone was cold, stern.
“Just tell me, Ryann.”
She took a deep breath. “I-I have to leave. Tonight or tomorrow morning. For work.” Once the words were out, she winced, expecting Maddie to erupt at her. Instead, Maddie remained calm, but her expression and tone were still cold.
“For how long?”
“At least a couple, maybe a few days.”
“Did you tell Stuart?”
“No. Not yet. I was going to tell him tonight.”
“Before you leave, I hope.”
Her temper flashed. “Of course I’ll tell him before I leave.”
Maddie seemed ready to fight back, but that coldness suddenly wavered, and she turned away, her back to her and her arms crossed tightly. Ryann desperately wanted to stop this scene, wanted to make this better, and she took a step toward her, reaching out. Maddie flinched away, stepping out of the range of her hand, as if she’d sensed it coming for her.
“You’re going to break his heart,” Maddie finally said. She no longer sounded angry and stern, only defeated.
“Don’t you think I know that? Don’t you think I’d do just about anything to avoid this?”
Maddie turned back, confused. “Then why don’t you?”
“I tried! I should have gone last week, but I sent my board members in my place. It didn’t work, and now I have to go myself.”
“What would happen if you didn’t go?”
“What do you mean?”
“What if you blew it off? What if you stayed?”
She scoffed. “I already told you—I can’t. A lot of money is on the line—”
“Oh. I see.”
She continued as if she hadn’t been interrupted, raising her voice and angry now. “A lot of money and a lot of people’s jobs are on the line, including my own. I run a business, Maddie. I can’t do whatever I want.”
“Why not? Aren’t you the boss?”
She laughed. “I wish! Not with my board breathing down my neck. They’re just waiting for the chance to get rid of me.”
“Then why don’t you quit?”
“What?”
“It sounds like a nightmare. You own a company, and you don’t seem to control anything. What’s the point?”
“It’s not that simple.”
“Then explain it to me!” Maddie said, nearly shouting. “I thought you cared about Stuart.”
“I do!”
“Then how could this be more important?”
“It’s not more important, but it is as important. To me, anyway. I’ve spent my entire adult life building this business. I’m not going to lose it. Not like this, and not without a fight.”
Maddie opened her mouth, and she knew what she was going to say. After all, she had just admitted that her job was her main priority. The implications for the two of them were clear. Almost as if reading her thoughts, Maddie’s mouth snapped closed. “I see.”
“Maddie, it’s not like I wanted to hurt you, or Stuart—”
Maddie held up a hand. “Look—let’s not argue about it. You’re right. Jobs are important. I get it.”
“You do?”
Maddie started to nod but stopped. “No. I mean, not really. I would never put a job before my friends or people I care about. But you’re not me, and I’m not you.”
“I’ll be back for the wedding!” She couldn’t keep the note of pleading out of her voice.
“Yeah? And then what?”
She didn’t respond, and the two of them stared at each other in silence. Finally, Maddie said, “That’s what I thought.”
Her eyes were red, and Ryann had a similar emotion trying to choke her. She turned and moved away, willing herself not to cry. After all, they would have had this conversation next week, anyway. Maybe it was better that they had it now, before things got even more complicated, and the feelings she already had for this woman deepened. Better to make a clean break of it now—exactly as she’d promised herself and Stuart yesterday.
Giorgio entered then, making them both jump.
“I’m so sorry, ladies,” he said. “Something in the back took longer than anticipated. Ready for the entrées and sides?”
“Yes.”
“Fine.”
If Giorgio noticed the chill between them, he didn’t remark on it. He did a very good job of hiding whatever he thought of the sudden change for the rest of the tasting. He’s probably used to high emotions in here, Ryann thought. Weddings make everyone crazy.
The two of them tried several dishes, and she had a hard time swallowing any of the food. She was still full from earlier, but she also had what seemed like a permanent lump in her throat. Maddie ate quickly and with very little comment, never once glancing at her. It was possibly the worst meal in Ryann’s life, and she would never know how Maddie managed to make any kind of informed decision when they were done. Everything tasted like ash.
Chapter Seventeen
Maddie drove Ryann back to her hotel without saying a word, and this time it was a distinctly uncomfortable silence. Ryann would occasionally comment on the weather or something they passed, but Maddie did little but grunt or raise her eyebrows, offering one or two words beyond this, but little else. The longer this treatment went on, the more and more she regretted getting herself in this mess. While it was true they didn’t have anything to talk about in terms of why she was leaving, it was immature and childish of Maddie to act this way. After all, they would see each other at the wedding, and possibly once or twice before that later this week, if Ryann could get back sooner. Being angry and upset would only ruin any of those events. At least Maddie could be civil, like an actual adult.
When they pulled into the hotel parking lot, she continued to sit there, chewing her bottom lip. She wanted to say something, wanted to make all of this between them at least a little better before she left for London, but she couldn’t think of how to begin.
Maddie sighed next to her and took her hand, squeezing it lightly before letting go. Her expression was softer now, sad instead of hard.
“Ryann—I’m sorry. I said I get it, and I do. I’m not very good at dealing with disappointment. I shouldn’t have acted like that just now.”
Her eyes welled up, and she looked away and out the front window, blinking quickly. “Thank you. And I’m sorry, too. About everything. Really, I am.”
“Are you sure…?” Maddie said.
“What?”
Maddie hesitated. “Are you sure you have to go? I know it’s stupid to ask, but I’m going to regret it if I don’t at least try one more time.”
She moved forward, leaning across the gap between the bucket seats. Maddie met her halfway, and they hugged, awkwardly, before moving back a little, their foreheads pressed together, arms braced on the other’s knees. The tears that had threatened earlier were back, and she watched as they dripped off her face to fall on the dusty, carpeted floor.
“I have to go,” she finally whispered.
“I know.”
She had nothing more to say, nothing to make this any better, and the longer she stayed here, the harder it was to leave. She wanted to stay in this old car forever if it meant staying here with Maddie, but the idea was ridiculous. They both knew that. She made herself move away first, sitting back fully in her seat before flashing Maddie a quick, weak smile.
“Okay then. I’ll see you later this week or early next.”
Maddie’s eyes were red too, and she returned a similar, strained smile. “Okay. Have a safe trip.”
She got out of the car as fast as she could, a sob escaping her lips almost the second she closed the heavy door behind her. The ground out here was slick with melting snow and ice, and she had to blink through her tears again to see where she was walking, her progress far slower than her haste and heartbreak warranted. She wanted to run inside, hide in her room, and cry.
She heard the other car door open behind her and spun quickly, almost losing her footing. Maddie was there in seconds, steadying her, and they were clinging to each other moments later. She nestled into Maddie’s chest and sobbed into her jacket, her fingers twisted into the heavy wool fabric, and soon Maddie was rubbing her strong hands up and down her back, her voice soothing and quiet as she murmured reassurances.
“Let me help you to the door,” Maddie finally said.
She took Maddie’s arm, the two of them using each other as anchors to stay upright. The stairs into the hotel had been salted and cleared, and she felt steadier when she finally stood on one. She turned to Maddie, their eyes even with Maddie on the ground a step below.
“Look,” Maddie said, licking her lips. “We’ll see each other later this week, and then maybe—”
“No. Let’s not…I don’t want to get our hopes up. It’s really better this way—now instead of later. I think we both know that.”
“But it really sucks. I like you.”
“And I like you. More than I thought I could like anyone in such a short time. But we hardly know each other, and we live thousands of miles apart.”
“I could move to New York.”
She laughed before finally kissing her one last time. The kiss was sweet and soft, and it felt like a better good-bye than they’d had in the Bronco. When she drew back, she could see Maddie had decided something like this, too. Her smile was more genuine now, and her eyes weren’t as red.
“Can you make it back to the car okay?” she asked.
Maddie lifted one sensible boot. “I’ll be fine. So, I’ll see you soon?”
“Yes. Soon.”
She didn’t stay there watching her leave. If she did, she’d be tempted to call her back. She made her way directly into the lobby, blinking in the dim light as the glass door closed behind her. As her eyes adjusted to the relative darkness, she saw Stuart standing there with two takeaway cups of coffee in his hands, his mouth hanging open. Ethel stood nearby holding two plastic-wrapped muffins, her mouth also gaping wide.
“Did you see all of that?” she asked them.
They both nodded.
She tried to shrug, pretending nonchalance, and then burst into tears. Soon Stuart was pulling her into his arms and leading her upstairs. He took the key from her to save her from fumbling with it, directing her into the hotel room and steering her to the armchair. He left her there to retrieve the coffees and muffins, which gave her enough time to gain control of herself again. She was wiping her face with her hands when he returned, his expression a mixture of worry and sorrow.
“I’m okay now,” she said.
“Really? Cause you didn’t seem okay. I don’t remember the last time I saw you cry like that. I think it nearly killed Ethel on the spot.”
She laughed and patted the other chair. “She’ll be okay. She’s seen me cry before actually.”
Stuart looked as if he wanted to follow up on that comment, but instead he sat, handing her the muffin and the coffee. She set the muffin down next to the others she hadn’t eaten and drank the coffee gratefully. She felt worn paper-thin again, and it was only late afternoon. She glanced at her phone as they sat there quietly, Stuart munching away, loose bits spilling out of his mouth. Ted hadn’t contacted her yet about her flight.
