The Secret Witch (The Coven: Academy Magic Book 5), page 19
I am Hope. I am Hope. I am Hope.
I just kept repeating it in my head over and over. All this time. All these years. My brother was only a matter of hours away, and I didn’t know. I was so confused, yet at the same time everything made perfect sense now. My parents, the people who raised me, loved me, but we never had what Tegan had with Hunter. I’d always known that, but I’d never really known that until right this very moment as I clung to my big brother like he was my oxygen support.
I hadn’t understood why I was so affected by watching what happened by the river to Ruth—my mother. I knew why it broke my heart to watch my mother sob while putting me in a raft and floating me down a river or the sight of Haven running into the water after me. I wished like hell that I had known that day. I wished I was there for Haven in that moment as we watched our family be ripped apart. As our mother died.
I squeezed Tenn tighter. It wouldn’t make up for all the pain he’d been through for twelve years, but I was going to try and make up for it.
Because I was the lucky one.
I’d gotten my potion. The memory one. Our mother’s full strength. I’d remembered nothing, not a smidge. Not even in a dream. I didn’t have to grow up with this knowledge that I’d lost everything. And he did. And it wasn’t bloody fair.
Chapter Thirty-Nine
Jackson
I had no words for what I was seeing.
My girlfriend, my soulmate, was clinging to Tennessee. They were on their knees holding each other and just bloody sobbing.
The second she’d gotten up and sprinted out the door, we’d all followed her.
We’d just made it out the door in time to watch her blonde hair turn jet black.
The same color as Tennessee’s.
Just like her skin had turned the same shade of tan as his. Her eyes had both been blue inside the house, but the one was sparkling. The one that happened to be green on Tenn. I knew in my gut that when she turned, I’d find one green eye.
Bettina is Hope?
Can this be true?
It has to be…right?
I looked over to the others who’d been out there doing the spell. Lennox’s jaw was dragging the ground as she stared at them. Henley was grinning. Bentley was gripping his Hierophant locket and smiling softly, his eyes glistening with unshed tears. They certainly believed it. I must’ve missed something that they saw or heard.
Then I looked to Tegan, and my breath left me in a rush. She had both hands covering her mouth, and tears were raining down her face, staining her pale skin black from her makeup. That did it. Bettina had to be Hope. And holy bloody hell.
There was a strangled kind of groan behind me, and when I turned, Kessler was hunched over with his hands on his knees. Mona gripped one shoulder, and Hunter took the other. Behind them, Devon, Constance, and Daniel stood with tears in their eyes and grave expressions. I knew this had to be hard on them. Hunter just squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head. I couldn’t imagine what was going through his mind. He’d known Bettina since she was four years old.
My Coven-mates were staring in shock. No one moved or made a sound.
I turned back around, and my heart sank.
Tenn and Bettina were still—lost in their pain. I couldn’t see her face, but I’d never seen Tenn like this. Not even that day by the river. He buried his face in her hair, and my heart broke for them. I didn’t have siblings, and my parents had known since I was born that they were shipping me off at six so we were never that close.
I wished there was something I could do for them, for her. But there wasn’t.
There was a flash of white—and then I was back in the living room.
I didn’t even get startled anymore by her portals, which was frightening. The heat from the fireplace warmed my back. Emersyn sighed and plopped down on the stone ledge in front of it, and the flames raged higher. Deacon sank down beside her, then pulled her into his side. Everyone else plopped down on couches, benches, or any other surface they could find. They gave blank stares, but I saw the questions in their eyes.
Cooper scrubbed his face then spun around toward the back door.
Tegan shook her head. “It’s been twelve years. They deserve a moment alone.”
Chapter Forty
Jackson
I had no idea how long we all sat there in stony, tense silence. It felt like an hour, but it easily could’ve been half, or mere minutes.
Out of nowhere, Royce cursed and shook his head. “Shit, man. Hashtag Bettina is Hope.”
Henley narrowed her eyes at him. “Did you just hashtag out loud?”
“SMH, IDK. LOL.” Royce winked and bounced his shoulders.
“Have we ever done a blood test?” Henley rolled her sapphire eyes. “I swear you were switched at birth.”
Royce arched one eyebrow. “Really? You think someone put a spell on one of us so we look different? Some Bettina-is-Hope action?”
“Actually, I did do a blood test.” Deacon grinned. “On our whole family. Both sides. I was convinced I was in the wrong place.”
Emersyn giggled. “How upset were you when you discovered you were in the right place?”
“Don’t.” Lily threw her palm up at Deacon. “Em, don’t make him answer that question. Trust me, rumors are easier to swallow than actual truths.”
Easton wagged his eyebrows. “Just plead the fifth like I did, D.”
Emersyn sighed and flicked her hair over her shoulder. “Oh, I’m sure Deacon was much, much worse than you ever could have dreamed to be, Easton.”
Deacon frowned. “I feel like I’m supposed to be offended by that…but…”
Emersyn elbowed him playfully in the ribs, and everyone burst into laughter.
Well, not everyone.
I couldn’t relax or breathe easily until I saw Bettina, made sure she was okay. A quick glance over at Kessler, Hunter, Cooper, Bentley, and Tegan told me I wasn’t alone in that. Not that I blamed anyone for trying to lighten the mood. Actually, it’s one of the things I loved about my Coven-mates.
They understood that sometimes laughter truly was the best medicine.
That was one of the reasons I became friends with Warner in the first place. Right now, my best friend was leaning against the wall next to Lennox. She looked up at him under her dark lashes and blushed, her lips curled up in a smirk. There was something going on there. I wasn’t sure what, but I’d ask him later.
The back door swung open.
Tennessee sauntered inside, but his gait carried slightly less confidence than normal. His hair was wildly disheveled and his eyes were red and bloodshot. He scrubbed his face roughly with both hands.
And then Bettina slid to his side, and my heart stopped. I hadn’t realized until this very moment that I was worried she wouldn’t look like her anymore. But as those now mismatched eyes looked up and found mine, I saw every bit of the girl I fell in love with. Sure, her hair was different, but it was gorgeous. The only thing I didn’t like were the tears in her eyes.
Everyone sat up straight, but no one spoke.
I looked at my soulmate and smiled.
Her cheeks flushed. She gave Tenn a side hug, then hurried over to me. Everyone’s eyes were on her, but there was no avoiding that in a moment like this. I opened my arms, and she went right into them, burying her face in the crook of my neck. I wrapped my arms around her and squeezed tight.
From the moment I met her, I’d always thought she smelled like flowers, but now I smelled each individual one all at the same time. The sweetness of gardenias, the boldness of roses, and that earthiness from jasmines. It was like someone walked through a garden and hand selected the best scents. She was a walking bouquet that was intoxicating, a scent I was sure to be getting drunk on for the rest of my life.
A second later, she pulled back enough to look up into my eyes. “I’m Hope.”
“I know.” I grinned then dropped my arms and pulled the collar of her shirt down just enough to see her soulmate mark. “Still mine.”
She giggled. “Tennessee is my brother.”
I looked up at Tenn.
Tenn looked at her, then to me. Then back. He frowned and his gaze dropped to where my fingers were holding her shirt down. Then his gaze went back to my eyes...and he glared.
My pulse skipped. My heart leapt into my throat. For the first time since I’d met Tennessee, I was suddenly terrified of him. Maybe it was the glare. Maybe it was the way every muscle in his arms and shoulders tensed. Or maybe it was the rush of power that rolled off of him and slammed into my face.
I was painfully aware of everyone else’s eyes bouncing back and forth like this was a match at Wimbledon.
But I couldn’t move. He had to do that first, for many reasons.
It was an awkward, tense standoff.
Cooper walked up to Tenn and leaned his elbow on Tenn’s shoulder. “You wanna punch him, don’t you?”
Everyone gasped.
“Cooper,” Bettina hissed.
Tennessee’s eyes widened as he looked down at Coop.
Cooper shrugged then he grinned at Tenn and squeezed his shoulder. “Now you know how I felt.”
Chapter Forty-One
Bettina
Haven frowned, then he looked back over at me and the way Jackson was touching me. A muscle in his jaw popped, and my cheeks warmed.
Jackson cleared his throat. “You can kick my ass later, when you’re feeling like yourself again.”
Haven’s eyebrows rose. Then he shook his head and chuckled. “This is weird.”
“What?! That’s it?” Easton gestured between them. “No round two, brother versus boyfriend battle?!”
Tegan huffed. “I’m still mad I missed that.”
“I do believe that was your penance for playing queen of darkness,” Deacon said with a chuckle.
Tegan shrugged. “You’re welcome.”
Haven scrubbed his face then smiled. “Lancaster, I think it’s in our best interest if we stick together with these two.”
That made me laugh. “I was the wild one of the two of us, wasn’t I, Haven?”
“What?!” everyone yelled.
Kessler threw his head back and laughed. “Y’all have no idea. This little troublemaker right here.”
“Good, so y’all can’t blame me for my influence.” Tegan winked.
Hunter scoffed. “Not so fast, young lady. You’re the one who burned down our kitchen. She was just backup.”
Tegan shrugged. “You have no proof.”
“Except for proof that no one should ever ask us to cook.” I giggled and gave Tegan an air high five.
She nodded. “Or do any of that domestication stuff.”
Haven pursed his lips and eyed her. “Do you have spells for cleaning and such? Or do we need to figure that out?”
“Oh my god, you two are terrible.” Emersyn shook her head. “Please don’t procreate.”
“That goes for all of you, please and thank you.” Hunter pointed to everyone then to his own eyes. “I’m watching you.”
Easton leaned back and crossed his ankle over his knee. “I’m into that. It’s cool.”
Lily smacked the back of his head.
Royce leaned forward on his knees. “So anyway...Bettina is Hope.”
My heart filled with more emotions than I knew how to categorize. I nodded and turned to my Coven, my family. “I…am Hope.”
Lennox pushed off the wall and leaned her hands on the back of the couch. “So you remember everything?”
I opened my mouth then closed it. That was a heavy question. My mind was still reeling. I remembered everything from my life as Bettina still…but I also remembered before. I looked up to Haven. I knew he was Tennessee now. I knew everyone called him that, at his request, after finding out he was Haven. Hell, I was there. But I couldn’t call him Tenn anymore.
He was Haven. He was my big brother. The one who was patient with me while he taught me all the things our parents didn’t want him to. He was the one who used to protect me, used to let me climb in his bed when I was scared at night.
Jackson squeezed my shoulders. “Bettina?” he whispered in my ear.
Henley rolled her eyes. “Give the girl some time to adapt. Damn.”
Haven nodded and pushed his hair back. He looked to me with his mismatched eyes that matched mine. “It’s weird, isn’t it? Overwhelming. Like it’s just all there all of a sudden?”
“Exactly!” I pulled my hair into my hands and shook my head. “Like…I didn’t even know I wasn’t remembering, but now it’s suddenly all back. All of it. I remember right up until I finished my drink—my potion—that night. I remember asking you if I could drink yours if you didn’t finish it.”
He smiled. “Isn’t that a terrifying thought.”
“Right, right, right…” Royce waved his hand. “All I need to know right now is if we’re calling you Tennessee and Bettina or Haven and Hope.”
Everyone else nodded.
Butterflies danced in my stomach. Part of me wanted to be Hope. That was who I was born as, and then it was stolen from me. But then I looked over to my best friend, and it felt like I’d be diminishing our whole childhood. I loved my life growing up. It was great. My identity as Bettina had shaped me. I liked me.
Haven glanced over to Kessler, the man he called Dad. The man who had taken him in and raised him with love as his own. I knew Haven didn’t want to take that away. He truly loved his father—and that had nothing to do with our love for our real parents. But I also knew that look in my brother’s eyes. It may have been twelve years, but I knew him. That was the look that told me he had my back, whatever I chose.
He was letting me decide this. And it meant more than I could say.
I smiled and leaned my back into Jackson for support. “I want to continue being Bettina, and him as Tennessee…but…”
“Bettina,” Hunter said softly. “You don’t have to decide right now. You can change your mind any time. You can even take all the names or half of them. Whatever you two want.”
My eyes widened. “Shit, right. Last names. Goddess, that’s a lot to think about.”
“We can talk about it later…” Haven smiled.
I nodded. “Whatever we decide on that, I want everyone to call us by the names we’ve grown up with. Bettina and Tennessee. Except I just can’t call you that. They can, the rest of the world can, but for me…you’re Haven. And I don’t want to lose that.”
He grinned and his eyes watered. Tegan wrapped herself around him. He nodded. “And you’ll be Hope, for me.”
Hunter rubbed his hands together. “All right. That’s settled. Everyone understand?”
Everyone nodded.
I glanced over my shoulder to Jackson. “Is that okay?”
He smiled. “I want what you want.”
I reached up and covered his hands with mine, then leaned back into him.
Chutney raised her hand like we were in class. “Question for our secret keeper. Did you know it was Bettina this whole time?”
Braison raised his hand and nodded. “I second that question.”
Willow’s mouth made an O shape. “You are good at figuring stuff out.”
Paulina snapped her fingers. “Dios, you did, didn’t you?!”
Tegan put her hand to her chest. “To quote the great Meg Ryan, ‘I wanted it to be you. I wanted it to be you real bad.’”
Royce groaned. “That’s my movie.”
Deacon scoffed. “Bullshit.”
Tegan sighed then shrugged. “Listen, this might’ve been the hardest thing TO figure out. I mean, I knew she was Judgement and I knew her magic and soulmate glyph were blocked…but I wasn’t that sure about her being Hope. Everything pointed to it. Sibel, I mean Cassandra, left me notes of her trying to unravel her identity. She knew I’d need to help Tenn, and everything pointed to you, B. But I couldn’t tell if I was seeing the connection because it was there or if I wanted it to be, ya’ know?”
I did know.
“No, why?” Warner frowned.
“Because when we were seven, Bettina and I made a very serious pact to marry brothers so that we’d be real family. So I wanted her to be Hope so we could fulfill our oaths.”
I threw my head back and laughed.
Haven’s eyebrows rose. “You did…what?”
“Yeah, what he said,” Jackson said with a chuckle.
I wiped a tear from my eye. “Goddess. We wanted an excuse to spend all holidays together and stuff.”
Hunter shook his head. “You already had holidays with us.”
“Yeah! Hence the pact so it wouldn’t stop!” Tegan rolled her eyes. “We were thinking long-term here, Dad.”
Haven looked down at her. “Did you really?”
“Duh, babe.” She kissed his nose. “I was disappointed when you didn’t have a brother to set her up with. I thought I was gonna have to pitch Cooper at her.”
“It was a blood oath, after all.” I laughed.
Haven spun on me with a pale face. “What?!”
“Oh, we definitely did it wrong.” Tegan giggled. “But no harm, no foul. Turns out I’m with her brother anyway, so we’re good.”
“For a second there, I thought you were gonna make me get adopted by Kessler.” Jackson laughed.
Kessler looked up and grinned. “Anytime, kid. Anytime.”
Cooper cleared his throat. “Um, not to sound like a jerk. I’m ecstatic for you both…but…Joseph and Trey are looking for that locket as we speak…”
Everyone gasped.
My eyes widened. “Oh my Goddess. The locket. My locket.”
Haven turned to me with fear in his eyes. “Hope? Do you have the locket? Or know where it is?”
All this time.
“All this time what?” he asked.
“I know exactly where it is. It’s in my house in Charleston.” I looked to Tegan. “In a safe place where—"
“OH MY GOD!” Tegan gasped. “Oh my god! That’s THE LOCKET?!”
I nodded. “The very one. Of course my mother, Catherine, told me it was a family heirloom…but now that I remember who I am, I know a hundred percent that’s my mother’s locket.”
